OUTRO: Interviews that suck

0:00Keyzie:Is that Chirps? No. For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggett. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Hode Aki. And then I said, now we can all get some sleep. Oh wow. I used to do that, I used to do that all the time.

0:27Mike Minogue:On Bougia.

0:27Keyzie:What was it, Bougia? Yeah, you guys just always do that shit. You come back from a break like you're a mid-conversation. Oh, did we?

0:33Mike Minogue:Yeah, man. We don't need you saying to pedal up Bougiou. Yeah, no, it might be. Sorry, fellas.

0:37Keyzie:Sorry, I don't know where that popped up from. What's my wife saying to me now? My wife. Phew, she said. Phew.

0:47Mike Minogue:P-H-E-W?

0:49Keyzie:W-H-E-W. That's good to say. That's like the Maori version. What? That's wrong. Yeah, it is wrong. I'm going to have her up about it. You should have it, R.P. I'm on really sensitive ground with her at the moment, given the release of that video yesterday. Jase, was it the video? Your wife's got a good sense of humour, mate. She does, but then she saw it again and went, actually. Yeah, too late. But it was too late by then. It was out on the ether. Yeah. It had something like 800 shares or something. Yeah. God almighty. Most of those were us. Yeah, most of that was Jase. It's not here me sharing my atrocity.

1:23Keyzie:How are you, fellas? What's going on? Bloody good, actually, man. Oh, that's great. Yeah, good as gold. I'm really good. Happy for a Thursday, man.

1:30Mike Minogue:Yeah. I was saying to Jason on the course today, Moggy, like if his wife was going to his shows back in the day and thinking they're funny, like atrocities and that, then I reckon she'd think that clip's very funny. Because wasn't your show back in the day just you like pulling out fake cocks and pretending to jizz on people and stuff? Yeah, that's true. Well, on one of the shows, yes. Exactly, and she's in the audience thinking that's really funny. That content wasn't about her, though, I guess is the difference. Yeah, that's the difference, Mogey. Yeah, for sure. Although that content's not about her either.

2:02No. It's about the idea of having a wife. No.

2:04Mike Minogue:I like how me and Jase do anyway. We've got to get your wife. We've got to start dragging your wife and stuff, man. Whenever you're ready, man. Look, I'm not against her at all. It just hasn't happened. Yeah. Which is weird because your wife is like pretty messed up. Oh, she's shocking.

2:16Keyzie:She's shocking. You're telling me, man. Maybe that's why. Maybe that's why we don't. Because she's such a shocker. Yeah.

2:21Mike Minogue:Well, it's too close to the bone with old Mogey's wife, you know. That's amazing.

2:24Keyzie:When we went up for dinner that time. I'm quick on the trigger. And I said something to her. It was just, you know, a bit of fun sort of thing. She smacked me straight in the chops. Well, that's the thing, man. If she doesn't, I will, you know. Well, that's right. She's a good target, but she's very dear to me, and if you offend me in any way, I'll just start swinging. And she's got a great right hook on her, too. Oh, she does. Jesus, my jaw hurt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Douche, douche, douche. Lucky from her boxing days, it's sort of quite tough, my jaw now. But, yeah. Were you watching the Warriors there, Keezy?

2:54Mike Minogue:From the stadium, man. Where are you watching it, man? I'm probably going to watch it at home, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, nice.

2:59Keyzie:Keezy was on the golf course all day trying to organise, going to see the Warriors. Constant phone calls. I had one phone call with a guy from Aussie. Trying to get free tickets everywhere. Yeah, we got the freebie at the end. Yeah. He did. Going to tell them what's going on, man?

3:14Mike Minogue:Am I allowed to do it is my question. I don't think anyone would care. Give a shit, right? Yeah. Yeah, I was actually going to say it on the air tomorrow and use it as content tomorrow. But, yeah, so I'm doing sideline comms. I told you already for Triple M. He doesn't know what you're talking about. I literally told you, remember? Yes.

3:30Keyzie:I didn't know that it had been confirmed or anything. It was just put out there and then I switched off and focused on pummeling it down the fairway. Yeah, cool.

3:40Mike Minogue:Yeah, so that's exciting. I've never done sideline comms though. So I've already been on the phone to a couple of people I know at Sky and I was like, who's sideline? Who do you get your intel from? Because they were like, oh, it's pretty chill, so don't worry too much. But I'm like, no, I want to go get the guys. Well, you want to be 100 % across it. 100 %? Yeah, you're going to deliver, man. This is the big legs. It's not some fucking bushy, backbush shitbox Kiwi setup. Bush shit bush. Fucking holy J Bush shitbox setup. You know, ACC bullshit. This is the real deal, man. This is. This is the big guns.

4:11Mike Minogue:As Mogi pointed out, though, the last person that did Sideline, it was in the news, actually got fired, and then went on Instagram saying it was because she was too sexy. And I was like, well, that can't be true. because look at their next hire. It's all keezy. All they've done is double down on it. Double down on the sexiness.

4:27Keyzie:I actually once flattered with a woman. I know you've got a story, man, but wait till you hear this. Well, no, just in terms of the too sexy thing. Oh, yeah. And she went and did stand-up comedy. Oh, God, it didn't work. It was horrendously bad. Because she wasn't funny. She wasn't funny. No. That's always the problem. She was not funny at all. And then she came off stage and said, It's because I'm wearing a mini skirt and I'm looking hot. And everyone just didn't say anything because she wasn't looking hot. And so we went, okay. She obviously felt she was too sexy to be funny and people were just obsessed by how sexy she was and thus didn't laugh at her jokes.

5:11It's an interesting point, though, outside of the fact that, in your opinion, she wasn't sexy. But they could be led to think, that a beautiful woman could be led to think that she's funny by men that are trying to bed her. Totally, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's so right. Yeah, that's so funny. Because I have, you know, my earlier days, certainly been involved in conversations with people that were so mind-numbingly boring. Yes. That you thought there might be a chance. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

5:50Mike Minogue:Well, that's like we were working on a particular TV show last year, it was, and a very well-known athlete who's quite good-looking came on. Yeah. And I was like, fuck, she was boring. Right. And I had a yarn to a mate of mine who's mates with her. I was like, oh, she's pretty boring. She gets quite nervous. I was like, okay, I just assumed that people had just been laughing so much. It was a comedy thing we were doing.

6:15Keyzie:Yeah.

6:16Mike Minogue:I was just like, fuck, it's boring, man.

6:19Keyzie:This is a generalisation that I'm about to make here. About all women? No, about sports people. Oh, good.

6:25Mike Minogue:Oh, they're boring.

6:26Keyzie:Generally, they're not always great chat.

6:29Mike Minogue:They're not. Well, in New Zealand, I think. New Zealanders are. But like Aussies and stuff are. There's some truth in that. A lot of the sports people we talk to, yeah. And I think the problem with that is is because they've all been through media training. So none of them are themselves. They're all a robot. Correct. Which is nobody is interested in a single word they say.

6:46Keyzie:And terrified. Like that. And terrified of making a mistake or saying the wrong thing, whereas we just don't give a fuck.

6:52Mike Minogue:So you would never hear, like Charlie Gubb, for example, Backbone, I don't think you'd hear him saying half the stuff on the radio if he was in the current squad. That's right. Now he's not. And similarly I found that with Richie McCaw when we met him. Was it a Black Clash thing? Oh, in the helicopter. In the helicopter. Yes. And he wouldn't be renowned as being a particularly interesting guy in the world based on his interviews and his media personality. He was a great man. He's a lovely fella. And Sam Kane, similarly, did a thing with Between Two Bears this week. And he's like, full credit, all that shit.

7:23And it's like, you get them away from that, and they're people. But they're not allowed to be, which is crazy, because you want to know the personalities. It's like a lack of personality makes me not want to bother. Especially those two, though.

7:33Mike Minogue:They've both been captain of the All Blacks, right? So you can't be seen to having any. It's like how, Jase, you don't like Scott Robertson doing his break dancing because he's the All Black. Who cares? All the fun stuff, you can't do that anymore. Another classic is Dan Carter. I've interviewed him a couple of times but I interviewed him here at Hodaki and we were yarning off air about the classic Vortex Mega Howler ad and he was like bro I got paid 500 bucks for that this is like 6 years or something that ad has just like haunted me ever since hilarious yarn and then we switched the mics on I was like I'll ask you about that on air and I asked him about it and it was the most like it's just the media training kicks in and it was just so boring because they were afraid of saying the wrong thing I know which is a shame because a lot of those you play footy at the weekend or whatever but everyone's a hard case.

8:15But saying the right thing is the wrong thing because no one gives a shit about what you're talking about. Yes.

8:20Mike Minogue:That's like that guy Toby Rudolph in the NRL a couple of years ago, that post-match interview, plays for Cronulla. And what's your plans after the – how are you going to celebrate the win or something? He's probably going to go to – there's a classic pub over there. It's like the shittest pub that everyone ends up at. Going to go there, see if I can pull something, but I'll settle for a three or – he said something. And he got hauled over the coals and then like never – has never been the same. But in the NRL, generally, you can get away with it. It's when it's about women. Yeah, which is fair enough.

8:47Mike Minogue:But he kind of went too far. But there are some guys that, you know, Jonathan Thurston's funny. Yeah, they've got far more characters.

8:56Keyzie:He was great, Chad, on the Black Clash, actually. But also, he was one of those people that just, I think, had actually reached that point of actually not giving a fuck and just having a good time. But he never did. He was like that all through his playing career as well. That's what I mean. That's a vibe that he just liked having a good time.

9:11Mike Minogue:But I think it's a thing where you can trust yourself to not say the wrong thing, right? But I don't think they can. You've been told they can't. Yeah, you can't. Don't trust yourself, so they get rid of that. Let's be honest. We're talking about rugby and cricket here. This doesn't seem to be a thing in the league as much. Netball. That they're so heavily. I haven't talked to a lot of netballers, to be fair. Yeah, I haven't talked to a lot. Actually, to be fair, there's a lot of netballers who have way better talent than rugby union. Yeah, and the female rugby union players. Yeah, that's not great.

9:37Yeah, absolutely. I agree.

9:39Mike Minogue:So there you go. It's just rugby and cricket. So there you go. I don't know where that sexist shit comes from, Jase. I don't know what the need is for that. Yeah.