OUTRO: Involving The Wife

0:00Keyzie:Good stuff. For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggett.

0:12Mike Minogue:4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horete. G'day fellas. G'day Keezy. Hello Chris. Hi Michael, how are you today? Good thank you. Hey Chris, what's your middle name? Jason! William.

0:28Keyzie:William, okay.

0:29Mike Minogue:Yours is Jason... Charles. Charles Hoyt. Yeah. Michael Vincent Minogue. Yes. Cool. Yeah, okay. Good. Well, not James. No, James is William as well, I think. He is. How are you going, fellas?

0:41Keyzie:How's your day? Talk me through your day. Do you want to know what I did? Talk me through your day.

0:44Mike Minogue:Do you want to know what I did? Put all the pressure on us. You just sit back and say fuck all. Yeah, because I can't be fucked. I... Tell us about your day, fellas. Arms crossed, lean back. Yeah, and preferably for nine minutes.

0:56Keyzie:Yeah, about that.

0:57Mike Minogue:I woke up today, right? That's good. That's good shit. That's good shit. Had a coffee. Make a sting for that with your pugs, mate. Started watching the second episode of the show I'll review today, which is Night of the Seven Kingdoms. Oh, yes. And then I haven't gone outside my house until I left today and haven't spoken to anyone. I have been doing fuck all. Right. And it's been great.

1:20Keyzie:Yeah. It is nice to have those kind.

1:23Mike Minogue:That is disgusting. What the fuck, Mogey?

1:25Keyzie:What? That is disgusting. I have my mouth closed. What else am I going to do? Leave the room, you foul beast. To bed. I'm not running some kind of hoity J household here, brother.

1:37Mike Minogue:Actually, that's a good question. You know how I used to go outside and rip arse near your tomatoes? What do you do now? Oh, no, you've got to go in the elevator.

1:45Keyzie:Well, the good thing about the new place is that there's high ceilings. So what, you climb up under the ceiling. So I bought a ladder. so I go into the room, into my room.

2:00Mike Minogue:Wait, wait, wait. So you bought a ladder and a floating shelf. And you go and sit up there. He's installed a floating shelf with a few tomato plants on it, like four metres in the air. Gets up there on all fours.

2:10Keyzie:The good news is there's lots of windows and it's a big open space. Is it the smell you're worried about, not the noise? Oh, no, I'm conscious of the noise when my wife is present. That's what I'm concerned about. Yeah. I would hope you wouldn't be going outside when you're alone to fart. Oh, hell no. Yeah, thank you. No shit no. Good. No, I rip arse when it's just me. And I enjoy it. You're ripping that arse. I genuinely enjoy ripping arse when I'm by myself.

2:41Mike Minogue:For some reason I can't help it, but I'm picturing Sinead over in Ireland listening to this. Oh, Sinead. I've got to stop it, though. I don't know what she looks like. But you know at the toilets. Casey wants a photo of you, Sinead. No, I don't. You're a filthy bastard. In fact, if we could get an office photo, thanks very much. Yeah, that would be really nice. That would be good. That would be cool. And just put a circle around Sinead for Keezy. Can you not say it in that voice?

3:03Keyzie:Can I just say, Keezy showed me something on his phone yesterday that keeps popping up on his phone, and he said, Jase, who do you think this looks like? Oh, yeah.

3:18Mike Minogue:I need to clarify what it is. It's a bot that you get sent into your hidden requests on Instagram that's just churning out R18 links and stuff. Right. And there's a whole lot of different fake people on this one chat, but the same one keeps popping up.

3:33Keyzie:And he showed it to me, Mogi, and he said, who do you think that looks like? He'd already shown it to me. And it's a woman in a bikini. And it's a woman, quite a voluptuous woman in a bikini. He didn't notice. And he said, I think that looks like your wife. Yeah. And I was like, excuse me? No, you cracked that. No, I didn't. You loved it. I was disgusted.

3:52Mike Minogue:No, same, and I feel bad about it, but it's just the way that she looks. When you look at it quickly, because it's such a small little profile photo, it looks like your wife. It shows me the difference in our eyesight, because he showed it to me. I said, he said, who does that look like? I was fucked if I know.

4:06Keyzie:Is it even a person? I can barely tell you're holding a phone. Was it because she was wearing glasses, do you think? Or was it the buzies?

4:15Mike Minogue:No, no, no. It's nothing to do with the buzies. That's what makes it weird. It's the brunette with glasses. You're telling me it makes it weird. It's the brunette with glasses. Because the woman in the photo, I would say, is maybe like 40 and is brunette with glasses and the hair is out. And several times that I've met your wife, she looks quite similar. See what he's done there? What? Like, I know it's weird, right? But I'm just telling you that it's really weird, man,

4:42Keyzie:and it's freaking me out.

4:43Mike Minogue:But I can't help it.

4:44Keyzie:Have you ever met my wife when she's wearing a bikini?

4:46Mike Minogue:No, I said it's the face and the hair and the glasses. It's not. The weird thing is, the weirdest thing about all of it, is that the woman in the photo, not that there's anything wrong with this, is African-American. I know. And your wife is Caucasian. She is. Well, then who the hell did I see you with then? The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. Hugs. How was your day, Maggie? Hang on Pugs, can I show you the photo and you just verify it? You verify it He's the verifier of Jason's life He's an honest guy

5:25Keyzie:If anyone knows Buzzi's That's Pugsan

5:31Mike Minogue:This photo needs the Buzzi verification stamp Alright, look at the top photo there And tell me whether that looks sort of like Jason's partner Does it? Yeah, it's the glasses choice 100 % It's the same style of glasses. I can see where she got the answer from, Jase. I mean, I would have gone along the lines of, oh, look, this woman with her jugs out wears a similar pair of glasses to Jase's wife. And then I would have said nothing about it. And yet these two sickos, look at them. I know. What? What do you mean? Look, I just got it verified by Pugs, who's a very honest person.

6:05Keyzie:Well.

6:06Mike Minogue:And it does look like your wife. Not when it comes to buzies.

6:08Keyzie:He just gets out of control.

6:09Mike Minogue:Do you want to have another look at the photo? Put your glasses on, have another look. For God's sake. Genuinely. I want to know what Mogey did today He did a bit of work man Spoiler alert, the top photo All I can see is buzies Just look above those There's a head there Tell me that it doesn't look like your wife

6:30Keyzie:It doesn't look like my wife I did a bit of work today Oh did you man? All day though

6:37Mike Minogue:I can't see it That's great man It was pretty good. It was a good day, though. I had a good day. But I haven't been to the gym all week. I've been too busy working, Keezy. But I tell you what I did have is I had a good sleep last night. Nice. Went to bed at eight. Wow. We started to watch the second episode. We were going to watch the second episode of Night of the Seven Kingdoms there. And it's just like, you know what? Fuck that. How about we go to bed? I'm going to sleep. You know what's been great? We're in separate bedrooms. Yeah. My wife's got a cough.

7:07Keyzie:Yeah, she's still got it. She's still got it, man. And she's getting heaps of them. Chesty. So I bullied her. She's a shocking bastard. I've bullied her into going to the doctor because she never goes. She's like you, Jay. She refuses to go. Then she'll make an appointment which is 10 years down the track. And it'll be gone. Because she has to see her doctor. She can't just see any person with a medical degree. It has to be her doctor. And then she'll just forget it. Right, okay. You know, so it's all very convenient. I will say on my behalf, if I do make an appointment, I will go there. Yeah, what a backbone.

7:39Keyzie:It's just I never make an appointment. But she gets lots of coughs. Yeah. And the reason why I know it's her is because I catch everything and I've never caught a cough off her. But last year she must have had five of them.

7:49Mike Minogue:Do you reckon she should get off the darts and the piss, man?

7:53Keyzie:Does your wife smoke? She's only she was on them. She's never had a cigarette or even a puff of a cigarette in her life. Wow. Yeah. That's amazing. It's pretty good, isn't it? Yeah, it's really good. She saw that for what it was right from the start. Yes. Because old Kesey started in his 30s, the piece of shit. Yeah, he did. I haven't had a cigarette.

8:07Mike Minogue:How's your smoking going, Kesey? I haven't had a cigarette since last time, since the last Hauraki thing where like Manaya and Beck and stuff are having. Well, neither should you, given your asthma. How are you going on the vapes, Jase? I don't have a vape. Fuck me. I'm asking for an update on the fact that you've given up vaping. Oh, Jesus.

8:25Keyzie:It's okay. It's been a very – I've had moments of stress this week, and I've gone, oh, I need to suck. Yeah. I need to suck on something.