OUTRO: Just Swimming In Chat

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0:15Keyzie:That's correct. G'day guys. G'day team.

0:18Mike Minogue:Good weekend, man.

0:20Keyzie:Yes. Yes. I was very pained, that yes. I was in a bit of pain. Really? Yeah, yesterday.

0:30Keyzie:we played bowls at my wife's work do. Oh, that's right. You're going to tell us yarn on air. No, I won't because I've got another yarn in regards to that. And I woke up on Sunday, because I've always had fucked ankles, woke up on Sunday morning and got out of bed and was like, oh, fuck, how I could barely walk on my right ankle. You just shut up and get on with it. I was just hobbling and my wife was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? And I was like, I have no idea. my ankle is so painful. And I was like, what did I even do yesterday that would make it painful? And then my wife said, well, we played bowls.

1:06Keyzie:And I was like, fuck, is that where I'm at now? Yeah. That I played bowls for like an hour and a half, two hours, and I can't walk the next day. How pathetic is my body now?

1:19Mike Minogue:It's pretty pathetic. At least we can change your nickname from Hoggle to Hobble.

1:22Keyzie:Fuck, it was sore, man. It's still sore today. And I've got a sore wrist. I didn't even use that wrist.

1:27Mike Minogue:Jacking it.

1:28Keyzie:Yeah, but I don't use that wrist for the jacking it.

1:30Mike Minogue:So when you were bowling, do you do the method where you drop a knee down as you roll the ball?

1:35Keyzie:Yeah, you do the sort of crouch down.

1:37Mike Minogue:So you just crouch or do you put a knee down on the ground? I'll show you. Okay. No, you don't put a knee down. I do. Yeah, nice. Okay, I see. And so that action there, which is just more of a crouch, that injured your ankle. Yes. And that was as vigorous as it got. I think if you kept it up, Jase, eventually you'd come good, man.

1:55Keyzie:Well, look, my theory is when you've something like ankle pain, just keep walking. Yeah, you warm it up. That's what I had, remember? Yes. Recently. It's ridiculous. I used to get it with umpiring too. How was your weekend, fellas? Great. What a weekend. What'd you do? Bit of sport. Well, I worked all weekend, obviously. Obviously. And bit of sport, though. Bit of rugby. You like that, Jase? Do you enjoy that, man?

2:23Mike Minogue:Let's not talk rugby here. Yeah, we'll save it for sports chat. You don't get much to talk about, do you? I'm fuming. You don't get a couple of minutes. It's not long enough. We talked about the, we watched the cricket yesterday. I watched USC. Cricket with my parents there. Oh, did you? I've never sat on the couch and watched the black caps with my parents, but we did that yesterday evening. Yeah, I didn't do that. It was enjoyable.

2:40Keyzie:Was it? Yeah. Did you notice with the cricket, and it's a very telling sign, about probably midway through the West Indies innings, like most of the crowd is gone.

2:51Mike Minogue:That's because it's Sunday night and the game was still going at 10 o 'clock. and it was like 5 degrees. Apparently it was because, yeah, there was an easterly change and it was freezing cold. It was terrible. It was freezing cold and then everyone pissed off. That's right. There was a lady there that had like a beanie right down like a balaclava so her eyes were just showing and a blanket right up. So all she had was like slits in this blanket to look through and then she even left.

3:12Keyzie:I still think they probably, even without the weather, probably that's going to be the case. When you're going at 10 and 11 at night. It's bullshit. It's fucking ridiculous.

3:21Mike Minogue:On a Sunday, on a school night. Yeah, well, the next game is in Napier, and that's 25 degrees. Right. That'll help. What time will that start, 10 or 2? It depends on the day, but it should be 10. Yeah, I hope it's 10.

3:33Keyzie:Napier's a funny one because at some part of the day they have to go off because the sun will – Well, it depends what time of the year it is. Yes. So it's in summer, obviously, but a certain time of the summer is when it goes between the stadium and something else. That was when we were there, eh? Yes. Like a black match or something. It's happened a couple of times. Yeah. Yeah, have to go off till the sun. Sun strike, have to stop. So Napier, they lost any internationals because the ground wouldn't leak properly, wouldn't drain properly, sorry. And then the first game back, they had sun strike.

4:06So the sun would come in behind the bowler's arm and be right in the eyes of the batter. So they had to stop the game for about an hour, an hour and a half.

4:14Mike Minogue:That's interesting because that wouldn't fuck you up as a batsman, though, obviously. I came around a corner today because I drove back from Tauranga to Auckland today. and there was a truck, like a big semi, pulled over on the other side of the road and it had a metallic silver visor at the top of the windshield. And it was just a backbone eating a pie. It was, you know, just pulled over to have a pie. Sweet as. But the way he was parked, as soon as you came around the corner, I thought a car was coming straight for me with his headlights on. I was like, what the fuck? And it was just Sunstrike off this visor.

4:43Mike Minogue:It's fucked, man. It was the worst I've ever seen.

4:46Keyzie:Sunstrike's a bastard. It's happening now actually on the way home, I find.

4:50Mike Minogue:Yeah.

4:50Keyzie:It's that the sun's in a certain place on the motorway and going up the hills to my house where it just comes blaring in. If you sit on a phone book, you should be all right. I should be, eh?

5:00Mike Minogue:Or if you won't, stay a little later, so leave at 7.30 instead of 7.

5:04Keyzie:You see, well, that's the problem with my show is I'm such a short ass. I put the shade down and I'm still too short. It doesn't do anything. Yeah. The sun still gets through onto my face.

5:14Mike Minogue:Maybe you should install, like, Venetian blinds on your windshield. Yeah, maybe. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. But yeah, no, a beautiful weekend. It was good. It was toadonga, man. How's your motorbike? Ah, it was good, man. Brum, brum, brum, brum, brum. We'll discuss it on the show. Ah, it's another thing we can't talk about. We'll get you guys to just help diagnose what's wrong with it. Yeah, man. Yeah, I'm just effing and jeffing with it the whole weekend. It was fun. Has it got any air in the tyres? The real one didn't. Yeah. Does it have petrol?

5:44Mike Minogue:Yeah, it does now. Has it got handlebars? Yep. Factory ones. So we'll need to diagnose that, but good fun. The reason I bought it was to learn how everything worked, and it's been good for that. I've pulled that shit apart a million times.

5:57Keyzie:Yeah, right. Christ, the amount of hours I've spent just dismantling engines. Christ. I wish I could have it better be about five years of my life. Yeah, right, would it? Yeah, man. Just dismantling? Yeah, just taking it apart. Yeah, taking it apart. Not putting it back together at all.

6:11Mike Minogue:And just biffing it in the bed?

6:13Keyzie:You know, and you just get grease on everything, and, you know, fuck. Just grease? Yeah, oils. Yeah, various oils. Avocado oils. Various oils. Just an absolute pain in the arse. I thought I'd have more stuff to chat about, given it's a Monday, but I got nothing. Right. Well, it did happen. We can't talk about sport. We can't talk about... Keezy's motorbike. Well, you see, the thing is, we don't want to talk, you know, we don't want to blow the show before we even start it. The show load. I find Mondays very interesting, actually re the show. Not so far. They can be, no, I mean the actual radio show.

6:50Keyzie:Yeah. Really good or really bad. What's your vibe today? You've got like two days of material potentially and that can work your way and sometimes it just doesn't work that way at all because you're really lazy. It's hard to know, man. Monday-itis. Yeah. What else have you got, Keezy?

7:11Keyzie:Moggy's in weird noise-making mood. Yeah, what have I got? No, well, yeah, I've just worked all weekend. That was my lot, really. Worked on the podcast studio, Keezy. It's looking good, brother. You're going to love it, man. That's good, man. You're going to absolutely froth it, cool Keezy, with a couple of...

7:29Mike Minogue:That's not cool Keezy. That's like cool pugs. Yeah, I'd say more cool pugs than Keezy. I've got something interesting. Actually, I've got a mate who's been out of the game for a while. He's about my age. The dating scene? 47, 48. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, good looking fella he is. And he's come, like, he's sort of having a yarn with somebody who's quite a bit younger than him. Quite a bit younger than him. Oh, the old Mogey playbook. Quite a bit younger. Oh, wow. The old Pugs playbook. But it seems to be going, like, it's going all good, but he can't close the deal. He doesn't know how to even broach the subject.

8:04Of what? Of, like, how do I move this from being just two people talking into being like, let's fucking, let's get at it. So he's having a bit of a shock. She texted him up over the weekend, I think, relatively late. And my wife's been sort of coaching him through it. She's like, these are all signs that she's interested. And he just like, he can't. Fear of rejection. Yeah, but he doesn't even know what to say.

8:28Keyzie:You mean in terms of like just going on a date or something? No, just converting it. So actually saying. Okay, yeah, let's meet up and. Or just come over. Yes. Yeah, and as my, well, I better not say that. But, yeah, it's an interesting thing because he is a good-looking fella, great, great human being, and he's letting this one, he's just completely cooking it.

8:53Mike Minogue:Right, maybe he's one of those guys that's used to the other sex doing everything. Yeah. You know, them making the move.

8:59Keyzie:But has he just come out of a relationship or has he been single for a while? He's sort of kind of just come out of a relationship. He's been in it for a little while, but he's been out of it for a while as well. Right, okay. He should know. Interesting. He should know, yeah. Yeah. Maybe he just can't be fucked. No, no, he's keen. He really likes her. Oh, right. Yeah, he really likes her, and that's the thing that's a bit sad, isn't it? And then he was just like, ah, bugger it, you know, can't be fucked.