OUTRO: Just Table It

17 Feb 2026 · 11 min · 6 chapters

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In short

The hosts banter about tradies being slow to respond, sanding a table in constant rain, and choosing furniture—especially coffee tables—plus a side discussion on making/trying crumbed tofu in a spicy soy-sweet dip.

Guests

No guests appear; it’s just the hosts (Kesey/Josh and others referenced as “Pugs,” “Hoity J,” “Mogi,” “Maggie,” and “Jase,” but they aren’t interviewed).

Key claims

Tradies often reply late; “I’ll be here then” never means on time. Tofu is usually bland unless crumbed and fried, then paired with a spicy soy-style sauce.

Notable examples

A Trade Me dining table listing (starting $150, offered $80). A “boat wood” coffee table in an aqua color that family members hate. A chipped picture frame nail-through-concrete story.

Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.

Chapters

Tap a time to open that second in VO

Casual Banter and Meeting Recap

0:11 to 0:36

Hosts engage in light banter about a recent meeting and personal feelings.

“4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horek here.”

Discussion on Communication Expectations

0:36 to 2:06

The hosts share experiences about communication with tradespeople and service providers.

“No, I thought you'd had a previous meeting and maybe you were like sort of just processing that meeting.”

Tofu Recipe Conversation

2:06 to 3:50

A humorous exchange about a requested tofu recipe and cooking ideas.

“And we've discussed this many times, but the idea of I'll be here then is never really when they're going to be there.”

Dining Table Talk

3:50 to 6:30

The hosts discuss a dining table for sale, along with personal anecdotes about furniture.

“I love the idea of crumbed tofu in a dipping sauce.”

Coffee Table Aesthetics and Family Opinions

6:30 to 9:16

Hosts debate the aesthetics of coffee tables and share family opinions on furniture choices.

“No, you're looking at, you don't want this one.”

Hanging Pictures and Home Decor

9:16 to 10:40

Discussion about home decor challenges, including hanging pictures and the stresses involved.

“I'm going to tell her you told us about that.”
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Transcript

Automatic transcript. May contain errors.

0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggy. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horek here.

0:15Keyzie:Yes indeed. G'day fellas. Hey. Hi. What's up Kesey?

0:22Mike Minogue:What are you? What's up Kesey? You're very quiet today. We just had a meeting man and you are not into it. I was very, well, to be honest, it was, yeah, it was all G. You had a meeting today?

0:31Keyzie:Just now, Josh. Just now. We were just in it. Oh, that meeting. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I thought you'd had a previous meeting and maybe you were like sort of just processing that meeting.

0:42Mike Minogue:Nah.

0:43Keyzie:I had a bit of a meeting today too. Hell of a go.

0:51Keyzie:It was okay, fellas. That's good, man. Yeah, it was fine. You know when

0:57Mike Minogue:That's really weird The way he just behaved just then It was odd wasn't it That's really weird You're a weird man

1:01Keyzie:You know when you contact someone Yeah I do To do a job for you Oh yeah And they get back And they go Yeah that's great That's great Just let me know What's sort of happening with it And then I'll get back to you

1:14Mike Minogue:Is it the picture hanging guy

1:16Keyzie:And then You send them all the details In the morning But you don't hear back from them That's all GA When are they meant to be coming There's no date set sometime this week, but it's just weird because when I sent it the first time, it was quite a quick response, and today there's been no response. You'd be no good in the dating world, man. No, I wouldn't. I think he's got until the end of the day to get back to you. If he hasn't gotten back to you by the end of the day tomorrow, then you've got a problem. Then I've done something wrong. Yeah, that's right. He's running a business. He should get back to you by the end of the day, but at the same time, he shouldn't drop everything.

1:51No, that's right. To answer old hoity J. That's the vibe I'm getting from you, man.

1:54Keyzie:I'm not meaning to have any kind of criticism. I'm just wondering, you know, that's all G. It is. Because I know especially when you're working with tradies sometimes, they can be a bit lackadaisical getting back. Lazy bastards, you call them. You know what I mean? Shit house. And we've discussed this many times, but the idea of I'll be here then is never really when they're going to be there.

2:14Mike Minogue:No.

2:14Keyzie:Do you find that?

2:15Mike Minogue:Me? Yes. No, because I'd usually hang the photos up myself.

2:19Keyzie:No, this isn't pictured. I don't really relate at all. This isn't picture chat. Have you had a coffee or something? And then I asked Pugs. Or like a Red Bull? I'll be really honest with you. I'm fucking shattered today. Really? I feel so tired. This is me just trying not to fall asleep. And then I said to Pugs, hey, Pugs, sir. What did you say to Pugs? Can you send me a tofu recipe, man?

2:42Mike Minogue:Yeah, but you said it in a piss-takey way. I did not. You did. It was just a genuine.

2:47Keyzie:Hey, Pugs, could you send me a tofu recipe? and he went, nah, man, that's fucking on you. You do your own tofu recipe. And I said, what? Whoa. Did you ask him in the group chat? No, just out on the off, face to face.

3:03Mike Minogue:But you don't actually want a tofu recipe though.

3:05Keyzie:Yeah, I do. He does for Friday night. Fuck off, we're not having tofu. Well, you're not, Keesey.

3:10Mike Minogue:We're not going to have tofu, Keesey. Are you going to make a small bowl of tofu for pugs and pugs?

3:16Keyzie:I'm looking to make a small delicate bowl of something. A delicate bowl. And so I said, well, fuck you then, Pugs-Arlams. I'd have a bowl of floating tofu pieces. You know, you could, because you can crumb a tofu pretty good. You get a bit of corn flour on them, some spices and things. I think that'll be nice, matey. You can bake them in the oven and then have them in some kind of a dip in sauce. Yeah, that's good. If you had a little bit of toothpick action, you know? Yeah, yeah. Just a little bit of whore's doom. I'm liking that. But they're only a tofu thing. And maybe you could have mini shish kebabs where you've got cubes of tofu, but also little bits of capsicum.

3:48I mean, you know, just spice it up a bit for the poor bastard. The guy doesn't get it out much, man.

3:53Keyzie:I love the idea of crumbed tofu in a dipping sauce. You're right, Keezy? You're very quiet today, man.

3:58Mike Minogue:What are you talking about? Yeah, I'm great. And a little bit of spice in that. Yes, I agree. Definitely in the crumbing. Because it can be, I don't know if you guys find this, but it can be that your tofu is a little bit bland. I have never eaten tofu. Have you not? Are you serious? There's absolutely nothing wrong with tofu. Totally. I've just never been in a situation where there's been tofu on offer and I've eaten some. Yeah, right. Any shared meal situation. Are you happy now? I'm talking quite a lot. Yeah, thank you. Any shared meal situation, no one has ever ordered some tofu. Right. And so I've never just had a not yum, but so I don't even know what the texture is, what it tastes like.

4:29Mike Minogue:No, it's silky. It's bad.

4:30Keyzie:I like a deep fried kind of tofu scenario in an Asian-y sauce.

4:35Mike Minogue:What kind of Asian-y sauce?

4:37Keyzie:I don't know. Some sort of spicy, soy-y, sweet-y. I'm trying to think. Yeah. But I'll investigate. Or I might just, but crumbing. I like that. I like it.

4:46Mike Minogue:Why don't you just go down the road to one of your local Asian restaurants, order a tofu dish. Yeah, that's a good idea, actually. And then just put it in one of your bowls and be like, hey, we made this. That's a good idea. That's a really good idea. I think I'll do that. Just leave it in the plastic takeaway. Yeah. Help yourself. With a plastic fork or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. Good day. I had something come up today because I've got quite a bit on at the moment, but then I had something come up which meant I had to do that all day so I didn't get to my to-do list.

5:21Right. And I fucking hate it when that happens. Do you have a bit of work to do? I like crossing things off my little list there, Keezy. I didn't get a chance to do that today.

5:28Mike Minogue:I was outside sanding a table and then it started raining. So I brought the table in and then it just did not stop just light spitting all day. Yes. And it was just like I can't do it in the shed because it's going to get dust and shit everywhere. And so I just waited inside for it to stop raining and it didn't. Just Keezy standing at the window looking out like Parker. Sighing like Hoity J in his apartment. Except for outside there weren't any homeless people fighting. It was just a spot where I could be sanding a table. We've got a table on Trade Me at the moment. A couple of other things actually.

5:58I should put them up on the big show Instagram. Is it a big table? It's a dining room table. Okay. You know, Rimu. Oh, nice. Starting price$150. Offer.

6:08Mike Minogue:Plug alert. Sell out. Piece of s*** paid under the table. Backhand it. A legal plug. Someone offered me 80 bucks. 80 bucks. Starting price, 150, 80 bucks. Yeah. Go fuck yourself with your 80 bucks. I'd take it, man. Get rid of it. No, I'm not taking it. I was tempted, to be honest with you. You love taking it, usually. I love taking it. Because we're looking at tables. No, you're looking at, you don't want this one. No, okay, yeah, good. You've got to get like an eight-seater. This one's a shitter.

6:35Keyzie:I saw a table the other day. Did you? Tell me more. And I put it on our family chat. and to a person my family hated it. Every one of them was like, no, fuck, that's fucking ugly, Dad.

6:48Mike Minogue:How can a table be that ugly? It must have been really shit.

6:51Keyzie:Can you send it to us and we can call it shit too? It was a coffee table. Which is it, man? It was a coffee table. It was quite a big coffee table.

6:59Mike Minogue:What shape?

7:00Keyzie:Square. We can't get on the same page with coffee tables. She's all about a round table. I fucking hate them.

Read the full transcript

7:06Mike Minogue:We did an Instagram voting competition, my wife and I. Right. And it was my rectangle one that folds up so you can eat dinner at this. Thank you. And that one. And everyone that's come over has been blown away by that. And that's what the vote eventually went for. The vote went for that one. I'm surprised. Yeah, because the circle one looked better. But my wife and I, I'm very much function and she has very much form. But I think form is, I don't think a circle is form. I think a circle is a bad use of space. It's fucking annoying to use. I hate them.

7:32Keyzie:I don't like circles either. It was made of boat wood. Old boat wood wood. Oh, yeah? Boatwood. Yeah. And it was very cool. I liked it. Can you send me the link? I'll send you the photo. I'll send it to you now, fellas. Yes, please. Let's have a look. Can you please get some new glasses? Look at the fucking state of you. Jase has got glasses with one arm on them. Can I just say that the photo doesn't do it justice. Okay. You need to see it in its natural light. If this is a photo that you've taken and at the bottom of the frame is your koozer. reflected in the glass on top of it. Or one of your buzzies.

8:11Keyzie:You guys, you see, I'm going to get, I'm comforted by the fact that everyone hates it, so I'm the only one that liked it. But as I say. You're comforted by that. It couldn't have gone worse. I'm comforted by that. It looks better in real life. There you go. It's on the chat.

8:26Mike Minogue:That's what people say when they've got a new boyfriend or girlfriend and they say this is a bad photo. All right, let's have a look at this shitter. Oh, my God. It's blurry. Oh, yeah, I know those. Yeah, I like those. Thanks, Mogi. I was saying those, yeah. That looks like the sort of thing that you might find at Settlers' Furniture Store.

8:44Keyzie:It's a place up in K Road that's been there forever. Just the name Sangu or something. Nah. But it fits the space between our cultures perfectly. I think hating it's a bit rough.

8:55Mike Minogue:The issue is a coffee table traditionally is not as much of a statement as that one is. Like that paint colour. Yeah. It's quite full on. It's an aqua. It's like the coffee table is just a thing. where usually the art around it is what makes them pop. Thanks, Maggie. Yeah, man, I do like it. I like it as a talking piece. So when people come over, they go, fuck, who chose that? That's shit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was me.

9:17Keyzie:But all my girls were like, no, no. And my wife likes it, though. Why are you asking your kids? Yeah, well, that's right. Fucking hell. I might just buy it to spite them. Fucking oath.

9:28Mike Minogue:Imagine if you had a talking piece.

9:33Keyzie:I'm hoping all my pictures will be hung by the time you fellas come over It's not looking good at this point I've told you man I know They all get flung out the window Yes They're just sort of leaning against the wall at the moment Not true of course because I know what it's like It takes forever I'm not even lying that there's still pictures leading up against the wall six months later Can I just tell you this very quickly My wife was hanging one up the other day And I was going Why is this taking so long? She was hammering in the nail. And I was going, why is this? And then she went, oh, it's chipped.

10:06Keyzie:And I went, it's chipped. Why the fuck would it chip? She was hammering into concrete. And I was like.

10:16Mike Minogue:Did you go like this first?

10:18Keyzie:She didn't. It's like you're getting a guy. And then she went, oh, it's concrete.

10:22Mike Minogue:Oh, my God. That was so stressful. I'm going to tell her you told us about that. Do. You called her a shock and a mess. I was disgusted. That was a real turn off. What the heck? What the hell, man? That's good stuff. Hey, listen to the show, 4 to 7 weekdays. Radio Herdaki, good stuff.

From the publisher

On today's poddy, make your own bloody tofu.

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OUTRO: Just Table ItThe Hauraki Big Show · 11 min
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