In short
The hosts riff on audio/volume issues in their headphones, banter about Keyzie’s jacket with “Tony” on it, weather app frustrations, and upcoming trips—especially Jase’s Fiji holiday and talk of smoking “darts” (cigarettes/vaping). They also discuss Fiji’s alleged methamphetamine problem, duty-free cigarette rules, and how excited they are for Fiji with kids.
Guests
No external guests. The episode is a roundtable among Keyzie (Keezy/Keyzie), Jase, Mogi, and Tony (referred to as “Tony chat”).
Key claims
Their headphone volume can’t fully go to zero for one host; Fiji has a “massive” meth issue; duty-free cigarette limits apply (one packet on entry to NZ); Fiji weather is reliably ~26°C next week.
Notable examples
“pulsating Tony” jacket spotting; weather app randomly switching to Melbourne; planning snorkeling and golf during Fiji downtime; debating whether to smoke darts vs vaping.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOTechnical Gripes
0:14 to 1:11
Discussion about sound levels and audio equipment issues.
“Is that what you were waving at me just then?”
Jacket Chat
1:11 to 3:08
A lighthearted conversation about a jacket with the name 'Tony'.
“I mean, what's interesting with Tony chat is I'm just interested to know how far me having a jacket with Tony written on it will go.”
Weather Woes
3:08 to 4:45
Hosts discuss the unpredictability of weather and its impact on plans.
“Tony, that I had a real plan this morning.”
Upcoming Fiji Trip
4:45 to 6:04
Plans and excitement surrounding an upcoming trip to Fiji.
“Then after that, you've got a week of pissing down rain.”
Smoking Conversations
6:04 to 7:11
Discussion on smoking habits and behaviors while on holiday.
“Pull the curtains and look out for any vans that might be parked over the street.”
Duty-Free Dilemmas
7:11 to 9:30
Debate about the inconveniences of duty-free shopping while traveling.
“No, well, you know, we'll see how we go.”
Excitement About Fiji
9:30 to 11:30
Shared excitement about the upcoming trip, especially for the kids.
“Well, it's when you're coming into New Zealand, you can only buy one packet of cigarettes.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Keyzie. Keyzie.
0:03Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Dogging. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Hoda K. Have you been Raw Dogging at Keyzie?
0:19Mike Minogue:Yeah, of course. Is that what you were waving at me just then? No, no, no. I was waving because I was wondering if you guys have the same thing. He's got pork in his throat. It's kind of always been like this, but it's a little bit different at the moment. And that is your volume, you can't turn it down. Right. It's like it's down as far as it'll go, but it's still really loud in my cans.
0:38Keyzie:Right. Do you guys have that, or does it actually turn down? No, mine turns down. I can't even hear myself now. Right. I'd quite like that to be.
0:45Mike Minogue:Mine gets to a point, but it never goes to zero. Never goes to zero, which kind of makes sense, right? You would never want to turn your thick cans right down. Well, yeah.
0:54Keyzie:What, Jase? Sometimes I'd like to turn my hands right down. So, no, mine does go right down. I can hear myself like an echo when it's right down. Good on that. It's good stuff, guys. Good day today, guys. Tony's back in the house. Yes. You love that chat, eh, Keezy? Tony chat.
1:14Mike Minogue:Yeah, it's all good. I mean, what's interesting with Tony chat is I'm just interested to know how far me having a jacket with Tony written on it will go. A long way. Yeah, well, evidently, which is good. Well, I think we're holding back on it. Yeah, totally. Because it's certainly a vibe that you don't like it. Yeah, but that's never stopped anything before. Yeah, well, I change now. Because people love it. Yeah, I know, exactly. Why don't you guys get something embroidered on your shirts? That's a good idea. And then I'll call you like, Kevin.
1:44Keyzie:I don't generally buy clothing with people's names on it.
1:49Mike Minogue:Well, your wife buys all my clothing.
1:50Keyzie:Well, that's right, and my wife buys all my clothes. Except for what's stitched into the collar of your shirts and that. Yeah, yeah. And your pants, et cetera. Yeah, that kind of jazz. But they're not showing, Mogi. That's right. You know what I mean? Because people get confused. Yeah, well, I don't have a big Tony on my jacket. It's tiny.
2:06Mike Minogue:It's literally the size of.
2:08Keyzie:But it's in red, Kesey.
2:10Mike Minogue:It's an inch wide. And it's cursive. It's in bold type. No, it isn't. It's cursive. It's italic. It's pumping out there. No, it's not. Tony.
2:17Keyzie:Tony. As soon as you walked in, the first thing, when you first wore it, That's the first thing I saw was this pulsating Tony on your jacket.
2:25Mike Minogue:Well, that's a lie because I wore it twice before anyone even noticed it. Is that right? Yeah. Oh, wow. Didn't know that happened. And then Mogey randomly spotted it. I noticed it.
2:32Keyzie:I just didn't want to make a big deal of it.
2:34Mike Minogue:Well, I was chatting to, I think it was Clint from ZM. Eastwood? Yeah, Eastwood. And I was having a yarn to Manny McLean over there at the coffee shop. Was it Manny McLean? Manny McLean. And then. Jeez, your name dropping all over the place. And then Clint goes, oh, Tony. And then I was like, oh, cheers. because apparently you can't wear a jacket with Tony on it without the fellas latching onto it. He's like, because it's a Lee jacket, L-E-E. He's like, oh, yeah, watch out. They might start calling you Lee next. Oh, yeah. It's Lee. I don't even see the Lee. First name Tony, last name Lee. Yeah.
3:02Yeah. Right.
3:03Mike Minogue:You wish I was Lee, eh, Jase? Yeah, man.
3:08Keyzie:Good day. Thanks, Mogi. That was great. Yeah, good day. I was telling Keezy, actually. Oh, Keezy over here. Yeah, or a.k.a. Tony, that I had a real plan this morning. How'd you go? Which, well, I said I didn't have a great start to the day because my plan was immediately kicked into touch by the weather because she was fair old fucking pissing down and blowing a gale. So it was like the plan that I had, I couldn't do it in those conditions. Yeah, sure.
3:42Mike Minogue:When you were putting this plan together. Thanks, Keezy. Good question. Were we having a look at the... Did you look at the weather? Yeah. AKA planning? Yes, I did actually.
3:50Keyzie:Will it say pissing down? Yes, it did. No, it didn't. It didn't say pissing down. Did it not? It said a little bit of light rain in the morning and maybe a bit heavier in the afternoon. Right. But then you wake up and it's fucking pissing down.
4:03Mike Minogue:Pissing down. Because that app you've got, how much are you paying for that? $85 a month. Exactly. So the problem is you've cheaped out. You've got a cheap one. You need to get a more expensive one.
4:14Keyzie:The thing that's pissing me off about that app is it just randomly changes the city for the weather. Right. And so I'm looking at it going, oh, jeez, that's looking a bit grim. And then I look up the top and it's for Melbourne. And I'm like, what the? I don't want fucking Melbourne's weather. Why has it gone to Melbourne? It's bullshit, eh?
4:33Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. Well, I can tell you the next few days are looking pretty good. Up to 22 degrees. Friday's 22 degrees. It's looking real good. Then after that, you've got a week of pissing down rain. Oh, you're joking. Yeah, leading into your big holiday. You're off to Fiji, Jase. Yeah, man. To go snorkeling, a big snorkeling trip. This is funny, actually, because Jase is off to Fiji on his big holiday, even though Mogi's there for a week. Jase is there for three days. Well, ten days, to be fair. I'm there for ten days. Ten days, yeah.
5:09Mike Minogue:But Jase, man, that's a hell of a vacation.
5:11Keyzie:Yeah, well, you know, I tell you, fellas, I'm fizzing about it. Because what you do is you get there. I don't know what I'm going to do with all that time. You get there, you do the radio show, then you go to bed, you get up, you play golf. Yeah. You go to bed, you get up, you play golf, you go to bed, then you're on a plane home.
5:29Mike Minogue:And then radio show with old keys.
5:31Keyzie:Well, I thought I should tell you that I'm not planning on going to bed. Oh, good. You with me, fellas? Yeah, man, I'm with you. You with me?
5:40Mike Minogue:Yeah, okay. Well, they do have a huge methamphetamine issue in Fiji. Do they really? They do, massive. Yeah, I know Tonga's bad. Yeah, it's a great sort of port. It comes down from Asia, from China there. Right. And then it changes ships and that sort of stuff down there. Interesting. So we'll see how we go. Well, do you kind of get on the meth? Well, I mean, you know. I mean, it is a holiday, Keith.
6:03Keyzie:If there's a glass Barbie floating around, who am I not to suck on it? It is glass Barbie weather. Is it? Yeah.
6:09Mike Minogue:Yeah. It always is. It doesn't matter, right? You stay inside. Every day. Yeah. Pull the curtains and look out for any vans that might be parked over the street.
6:16Keyzie:While you're on your$150 a month weather app there, maybe, what is it saying in Fiji, fellas, while we're there? Well, it's a little bit far out. I don't trust a 14-dayer, I've got to be honest with you. Oh, yeah, actually. I keep thinking. I suddenly thought it was the end of this week.
6:31Mike Minogue:Also, tropical locations always just show one emoji of what it's going to be like, and it always has rain in it, because it will rain for half an hour. at some point. And so it always looks like it's going to rain. I can tell you that all of next week is 26 degrees. That's about right. That's good eating. That's hot. Jeez Louise. I've decided I am going to smoke darts as well. Oh, wow. Congratulations. Don't do it, Mogey. Come on, man. That would be like saying that you haven't got a self-control, Jase, but you know you're going to be launching into those little bastards. Nah, man. But I think, Mike, you should do your best and, you know.
7:04Oh, 100%. But at the same time, it's not, you know. It's not up to you. You know I have no willpower, man.
7:10Keyzie:Come on. Who are you drawing a kid? No, well, you know, we'll see how we go. I'm just going to keep on the vape. Yeah, that's the one, brother. You can do it, Jase. You can do it. You always say that to him, but you always find out he can't. No, I know. You still believe in him.
7:22Mike Minogue:I know.
7:22Keyzie:You believe in me, eh, Keezy? I believe in you, man. I believe in the idea of you, but not the reality. What I'm more concerned about is Keezy getting on the darts, because you know what he's like. But the thing is, Keezy can have a dart, just look like the sickest motherfucker on earth, and then give it up the next day. Because it tastes gross.
7:39Mike Minogue:It's just fun to do and it gives me nothing. Yeah, but you better have your denim jacket on when you're smoking darts. You're like Matthew McConaughey. But it'll be hot. And Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Yeah. It'll be hot so I won't have anything underneath it. Nothing underneath.
7:52Keyzie:What's going on in Keezy's mind that goes, I'm going to have a durry?
Read the full transcript
7:57Mike Minogue:I'm pissed up. Everyone is leaving to have a durry. Yeah. And I have to stay here. Or everyone around there. Yes, 100%. Yeah, okay. But also when I'm steamed, anything is way, is like, you're just doing something, aren't you? You're having a dart.
8:10Keyzie:There's fire involved. And do you like it just quietly? No. A little aspect of it? You suck that smoke into your lungs and blow the bastard out. How does it feel?
8:20Mike Minogue:So that's the part I like is that you're doing something, right? You're sucking it in, you're blowing it out. You know, I'd prefer it wasn't tobacco. I'd prefer it was something else like, you know, meth. Meth, yeah. But I don't get any kind of good feeling out of it. You don't get a head rush or anything? No. The enjoyment is purely physical.
8:37Keyzie:But that's only because he's massively steamed. I used to still get it when I was younger and I was pissed up. You'd have a dart. You don't really get the head rush.
8:44Mike Minogue:Well, maybe when we're in Fiji and, Jase, you're on the vape and not touching them because I believe in you. But, Mogi, I might steal a dart off you. Well, I'll tell you what. Here's the thing, Kesey. I'm allowed to take up to 250 cigarettes. I'm just checking what I can take over there. I can take a carton. There's no duty on that. That is duty-free, baby. So it's about$40. Really? So where do you get, what end do you get those? I'd get them at the New Zealand end. Because, you know, in the past. I don't like, I hate, this is me, I hate arriving somewhere on holiday and then stopping and going to duty free.
9:17I fucking hate it. Right. I would never do it. I'd rather pay top dollar everywhere. I want to get through, I want to get through customs, get the fuck out of there and get on my holiday. Yes. I hate stopping at duty free.
9:27Keyzie:But my experience of that is that they still cost a fucking shitload. in New Zealand. Because duty is tax, right? So all the tax is gone. Are you sure? All the tax is gone. Yes. Well, it's when you're coming into New Zealand, you can only buy one packet of cigarettes. Right, okay. Okay. So it's not as great. Well, that makes sense to me then, because that's what I thought it was. You could get one packet for whatever. No, it's the country you're going into. Right, okay. Yeah.
9:54Mike Minogue:I believe in you though, Jase. How good, man. God, it's going to be good, fellas. Ten days. We're going for ten days to Fiji. Me and you are, and Pugs. Are you taking the week off as well, are you? Yeah, me and Pugs are, yeah. They've just found out they've got an extra holiday, extra week off. They didn't even know they had it. They didn't even know he had it. They were like, man, we've got so much spare leave over here that we don't know what to do with you guys. I was like, yeah. Found some leave underneath his couch. And I was like, what about Jase? He should get some leave. And they were like, oh, no, he's already using up so much of it.
10:25Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, well, yeah. And so Pugs is going to be on leave as well, is he? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Are you all good to cut the podcast? There can't be hoity jizz and sperm boy.
10:35Mike Minogue:That's such a shame. Jeez.
10:41Pretty exciting, guys. But it's still only Tuesday, so I don't get too fizzed up yet.
10:46Mike Minogue:And also, you'll wait and maintain that I'm very excited for Fiji, but you are ten times more excited than I am. Yeah, I'm very excited because my kid gets to go. First time? Yeah, and she's really excited for it. Didn't I just go? Swimming, she wants to go snorkelling straight off the plane. She's worried about sharks. Well, you should encourage that.
11:06Keyzie:The great thing about Fiji, too, is the local people are great with kids. Yeah, that's what they say. They really fucking are. They're amazing. You've never been back to Fiji, have you? Yeah, I have. There you go. And then just a week later, you go back and pick them up again. Yeah.
11:25Mike Minogue:Hey, listen to the big show, 4 to 7 weekdays, Radio Hodaki. Can't wait. Yes.
11:30Keyzie:Yeah, mm-hmm. What? Napping.
From the publisher
On today's poddy, we're making big plans for the Fiji trip.
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