OUTRO: Keyzie's New Show

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0:15Keyzie:Dog G'day fellas. How's it going? Hello. I'm ready for this Friday man. Really? Yeah I'm done. Good stuff man. I'm just putting my jacket on the back of my chair because it's a bit all over the place. Are you ready for the week to be over? I am. I'm done. You're right. Ready for up the whars.

0:35Mike Minogue:Have you got one more show left in you? I've got one more shit show in me. Shit show. The shit show with me. With me, Moogie. Imagine if you just had a one-person radio show called The Shit Show. It's The Shit Show. And it was every night. With me, shit for brains.

0:50Keyzie:I think there actually was a show called The Shit Show. No, it doesn't sound right. No, you're thinking of Booja. No, that was a shit show, but I mean, you know, a massively successful shit show. It was. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Only surpassed by the big show. Indeed. Eh? Eh? Eh? Do you enjoy golf today, Jase? Yeah, I'm bloody sore. Yeah. Because we haven't played for so long, Mogi. My back's fucked. But, no, it's great to have a smack around, a bit of a wander around. How did you just go? Average.

1:27Mike Minogue:Poorly. I think I might have beaten you. Yeah. Kese played well. I forgot to tell you the scores. Just on vibe. Right. I beat him on vibe, but I bet I'll count the scores and I will have lost by like five. No, you played well, man. It was good. So you're fuming, Jase.

1:42Keyzie:No, not at all. It's not my favourite course, that course. Oh, right. His heart wasn't as easy. It's very flat and pretty tedious, but I enjoyed Takapuna. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It is. Yeah, it's great. But it was very cool to smack a ball around. It's got the driving range and shit there. I like it. Yes. Hundy P, man.

2:04Mike Minogue:Hundy P, man. So, yeah, good. Yeah, cool. So, did you end up getting, did your wife end up saying yes to those brake pads being done? Yes.

2:13Keyzie:My car went in for a warrant, Mogi. And as always, it's always like, oh, this is fucked. This is terrible. No, you're exaggerating. This is an abomination. I thought he was just going to fix the sort of thing under my car, the plastic bit that covers the engine. You can literally take that off. Well, you can take it off. But then they say dust gets sucked up into the engine. But then the front tyres needed replacing. The back brakes were on metal, on metal, on metal or something. No, they weren't.

2:41Mike Minogue:This is why you don't take your car. I don't think you personally shouldn't take your car to a mechanic for a warrant. Well, you don't. I go to... I told you this already. Yes. But this guy is really good. Totally. Is this the guy you're complaining about now? No. But your rear brake pads, he said it's metal on metal. It's a lie because you haven't heard the metal on metal sound at all. You'd know because it makes a noise. And then I was like, instead of getting him to change it, me and Hoity J will change the rear brake pads and make a video out of it. I was like, that'll be fun. But it's too late.

3:16It's been done.

3:17Mike Minogue:Because he was just like, no, just fix it. Here's$1 ,000 billion. Yeah, same.

3:20Keyzie:So what I thought would be, you know, but it's always been the way with me in cars. What I thought would be a very cheap exercise. How much? I don't know yet, but it's going to be a bit pricey. But at least tyres and brake pads are pretty standard. That's standard, man. They're not switching you up there, man. It's all G. And I showed Keezy the damage on my wife's car that was caused by a member of our family. A little scratch, remember? The little scratch. And he was like, oh, no, that's fucked. Yeah, so it's like a proper, like, it's fucked.

3:49Mike Minogue:Yeah. But other than that, though, it's going good, eh?

3:51Keyzie:Yeah, it's zipping around my little aqua. Yeah. The little aqua. Nice. What are you doing this weekend, Moogie?

4:01We're going to go in a bout with a kid. Got to get out of the house, you know. Get away on Saturday there somewhere. Or other might go out to the waterfalls out at Piha.

4:10Mike Minogue:Piha. Oh, is that the one with the big dune? I don't know. I've not been there before. Bethels. I've never been there. So I'm going to get out there to something like that. I've got to leave the missus to it for the day. She's got a bit of work on you, see. Oh, really? And then the waz, and then I've got to catch up with a mate, and then I've got to get back to the gym, man. When are the waz? I've got to get back to the gym, Saturday night. Saturday night, okay. Why, are you just going to make sure you're free? Yeah, totally. Absolutely. Yeah, so not much, man. But this is a thing, I'm just easing back into it, because this is our first full week we've had in a couple of months.

4:44And so this five days a week thing, it's taken it out of me this week. Jesus Hoise Hoise The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 On Radio Hauraki The Hauraki Big Show Podcast

4:58Mike Minogue:If someone said we could do One day Of 15 hours straight radio And 6 days off Those are my two options And then they'd just play the 3 hours of radio They'd split it up into 5 and play them out But it was a full day 15 hours Like it's fucking ages Yep I'd do that

5:16Keyzie:I'd do that too in a heartbeat. Six days off. I've known people that have wanted that to be the situation. Yes. And found very little support amongst management. So, you know.

5:33Mike Minogue:But, right, if you do a certain kind of radio show that is not at all reliant on current events. Yes. For example, our show, a lot of it, is just bullshit. Yeah. I don't see any reason why we couldn't just meet on a Monday, fart it all out. All of it out. Of course you do. You know why we can't. Why is that? Because the beauty of radio, 90 % of it, Keezy, it's got nothing to do with the content. It's the fact that it's live. Yeah, it's true. That's what people care about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So people will know if it was pre-recorded.

6:04Keyzie:And I think our listeners would be ropeable if they knew that we pre-recorded everything. Because I think they get a certain perverse pleasure out of knowing that we have to be here to do the show.

6:17Mike Minogue:I would argue that they wouldn't care because, for example, the people listening to this right now, it's a podcast. They know that we're not currently doing this. Yeah, but this is a podcast. Okay. There's a difference. The expectation is different. So maybe we're doing this wrong. Maybe we do a podcast that gets cut up and put onto the radio. There we go. You know what I mean? And we quit our radio job. Rather than a radio show. So we do a podcast and we let them put it on the radio. That's right. There we go. So we go back to them. Next time our contract, we go, hey, we want to change and just do a podcast but feel free to put it on the radio 407.

6:49Mike Minogue:Feel free. And we're going to do that podcast. We're going to do a 15 hour podcast. You know what I mean? How many breaks is that? It's a lot.

6:56Keyzie:Fuck done. Fuck done. Fuck done. It would be, yeah, 80 breaks, 90 breaks. I reckon the first four or five hours of that podcast would be great.

7:10Mike Minogue:And then the final five where we've run out of ideas.

7:13Keyzie:There's your issue. Yeah, from the third hour on, I think we'd struggle. Yes, that would be your issue significantly. But if you're drinking... That would be fun. 100%. So what we're proposing is that we drink and just record an entire week's worth of radio while we're drinking, and then they just slot it in.

7:34Mike Minogue:Every week on a Monday, we get together for 15 hours and hit the piss. So the first show's live. We could do it that way, you see. Okay, so we meet Monday at 4pm. Yep, live and then we go through till 5am or so. That's a great idea. I reckon we pitch this. Do you like that, Chase? Yeah, man, I'm in. Okay. Are we going to booze sponsor on board? Good luck.

7:57Keyzie:Good luck with that.

7:58Mike Minogue:Imagine pitching that to management, like sitting them down and being like, right, so we've done some thinking.

8:03Keyzie:Well, as I say, I've been aware of that being pitched to management, but sans the drinking. Park.

8:12Mike Minogue:Was that approximately like 10-ish years ago?

8:16Keyzie:Oh, it was a little while ago, yeah.

8:18Mike Minogue:Because I think now the way the industry is now with podcasting and stuff, compared to back then, back then it'd be like, fuck no. But now with podcasts, it's like, you know what I mean? As a drive show, you reckon, Keezy? Sure. Okay. Let us know how you go. Well, no, hang on. I thought we were all in this together. Now all of a sudden it's... We are. I'll sign off on it.

8:39Keyzie:I thought this was you, the Keezy shit show. What do you mean the Keezy shit show? The Keezy shit show where you've got your own show. Where you do 15 hours of radio. The shit show. I don't know about the Keezy shit show with me. Shit for Brains is a good name for it.

8:53Mike Minogue:Well fucking you think of a better one then because I'm pretty damn sold on that one. I love that name. Is shit for Brains one of the all timers?

9:01Keyzie:Yeah I was gonna say I haven't heard that for a long time. No bullshit you haven't shit for Brains. I called you shit for Brains yesterday. That's where I got it. It was um That seems pretty full on. It feels very much of my parents' generation. Shit for brains. It was 80s. Yeah. It was 80s. We were throwing around shit for brains. Yeah, shit for brains. The idea that you've got shit for brains. It's not a compliment.

9:26Mike Minogue:No. How do you reckon you'd like - Old shit for brains. How do you reckon a human would go if you unplugged their brain and just plugged it into a turd? Put a shit in there. And just put a shit in there and just hit go. Probably better. Probably just do whatever you're doing. Some people better. Some people better, yeah. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, man. What are you doing this weekend, Keezy, man? Busy weekend. Oh, house stuff. House stuff, and then we've got lunch tomorrow with friends, and then dinner with friends, and then my wife's volunteering for Make-A-Wish, and then we've got just punishing shit, to be honest.

9:55Mike Minogue:Yeah, it's fun, though, isn't it? It's good to be alive. But, yeah, we'll be hungover tomorrow. Yeah, that's the thing, you see. I'm back on the wagon, but I'm thinking to myself, but I can't just keep restarting every week. It's too much, so I'm done. You're on the wagon?

10:10Keyzie:I'm on the wagon, babe. I'm on the wagon. You're not going to ask me what I'm doing for my weekend? I know what you're doing. What is it?

10:21Mike Minogue:You are... Oh, you are... Shit, you told me. What was it? See how much he listens to me, Moggy? What are you doing, man? It might be faster if I just ask you.