In short
The episode is a banter-heavy “OUTRO: Leaf Blowers” segment from The Hauraki Big Show. Topic: autumn annoyances, especially loud leaf blowers outside the hosts’ windows, plus street sweepers that allegedly just push leaves back onto the road.
Guests
none—this is a roundtable among the regular hosts (Keezy, Jase, Mogey, and “Mogey” referenced as Officer Mogey; also “Chris” mentioned).
Key claims
leaf blowers are “fucking loud” and dangerous because leaves make streets slippery; street sweepers don’t solve the problem.
Notable examples
Franklin Road’s huge trees; a story about Wellington Paranormal crew needing a chair to avoid standing; discussion of Warriors/All Blacks and Black Caps, including a standout catch and a player with Māori All Blacks family ties.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOWeekend Recap and Weather Discussion
0:15 to 1:49
The hosts discuss their weekends and the upcoming weather forecast.
“I don't accept those loud as fuck headphones I just had on.”
Leaf Blowers and Street Cleaners
1:49 to 3:21
A humorous rant about leaf blowers and street cleaning frustrations.
“And Keezy was just telling me apparently this week it's going to shit the bed.”
Life Complaints and Autumn
3:21 to 4:21
The hosts comment on complaints about life and the inconveniences of autumn.
“Can you see how you are slowly turning into one of those old women in your building?”
Bathroom Habits and Personal Stories
4:21 to 7:39
A light-hearted discussion about bathroom habits and personal quirks.
“Absolutely not And also, what would you rather, Jase?”
Sports Talk: Rugby and Cricket
7:39 to 11:01
The hosts engage in a lively conversation about rugby and cricket performances.
“No Yeah What's this the Is it the second or third time They've won three on the trot Second Second time It's a disgrace Did you watch it?”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggy. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horeke. Oh, g'day, fiel. Hello there. Mate. Hello there. How's everyone going? Fucking excellent. I don't accept those loud as fuck headphones I just had on. Yeah, mine were really loud too, but I'm trying to think who could be using it before me and that must have been me. Yeah, it's you. From Friday. Yeah, because you do have it unbelievably loud. I do have it quite loud. I find there's a certain level I need to get to to be comfortable. Right.
0:41Keyzie:And if it's too quiet, I don't like that.
0:43Mike Minogue:Is it because you love the sound of your own voice? No. Right. It's because, yeah, okay. It's either that or you love the chillies.
0:50Keyzie:I truly don't love the sound of my own voice. Really? You wish you could change it? I mean, it's a great voice. Let's not get me wrong, but I don't love the sound of it.
0:58Mike Minogue:Here we go. If you could switch voices with me or Mogey, who would it be? Oh, definitely Mogey. If you could, who would it be, me or Mogey? Oh, definitely Mogey. Right, okay. Yeah, sure. Mogey, what about you? Jase. Yeah, yeah, totally. He's got one of the great voices. You know that. I know that.
1:17Keyzie:Your voice is quite high patch. What do you mean?
1:22Mike Minogue:Classic. That's good stuff, guys. I can be deep if I can drop it down. I've heard you drop it down. I can drop it right down.
1:27Keyzie:Yeah, but it sounds fake when you drop it down, though. Sounds like you're really having to lower your bull-oss to try and get it out there, whereas for me, it just comes out. It's all the durries I've smoked. It just comes out. It just comes out, Keezy. Well, mine comes out like that. Good weekend, fellas? Yeah, it wasn't bad. You're done, man. You're fucking done with that topic. Yeah, I am. Next topic. I'm over it. I was sick of you. Yeah, it was a good weekend. What a beautiful weekend. It's been amazing. So good. So good, guys. And Keezy was just telling me apparently this week it's going to shit the bed.
2:00Keyzie:You're going to shit your bed. Well, I did, but as well as the weather. The weather's going to shit the bed. Is it? Yeah. My cat's going to shit. Chris is going to shit my bed. We could play golf this week, finally. And then he goes, but the weather's shit, so nah, next week.
2:14Mike Minogue:100 % Jase. Jase, golf is so low on my priority list, man. I've got stuff on. Wednesday no good. Thursday no good, guys. Yeah, Friday's good, though. Is it? Friday and Saturday is really good. Saturday Sunday Saturday Sunday's beautiful Which is mean But the week is shit Yes Walked to school today With my kiddo there And yeah The leaves were falling From the trees Beautiful Yeah Isn't that just so Fucking nice Beautiful Autumn's actually annoying
2:42Keyzie:It's hot as fuck
2:43Mike Minogue:Annoying autumn though For your personal yard You know what I mean
2:47Keyzie:I'm not stoked about The leaves falling Because those fucking Leaf blowers Because on my street there's just tons of trees. You're going to fit in so well at your place. But they also have these little these little tracks with these sort of wipers on them. Street cleaners, yeah. Street sweepers. And they just go up and down.
3:08Mike Minogue:Yep, sweeping the street, correct.
3:10Keyzie:No, but they just sweep it onto the pavement and then it just gets blown onto the street again. Have you got the email of your local MP or council member? Because you're going to have to sort this out, Jase.
3:19Mike Minogue:It's outrageous. You should join a local group. Can you see how you are slowly turning into one of those old women in your building? You get fixated on the stuff around you And pretty soon You're going to be getting very upset about nothing Leaf
3:31Keyzie:I've got to say though Leaf blowers are fucking loud Especially when they're right outside your window Life is so good You can just walk around with your headphones on Oh I do that sometimes as well Or I turn the music up
3:45Mike Minogue:But can you see why the old people get angry in your building? Life's so good they need something to complain about Yeah Yeah Because your life rules Jase So now it's street sweepers You're taking it out on the beggars
3:56Keyzie:I'm only making the point in terms of Going into autumn And there's massive trees You're right, there are a lot Franklin Road's a good one
4:07Mike Minogue:Down here And that's got huge bloody trees Beautiful road It's lovely But yeah, you're right, annoying
4:16Keyzie:It just goes on and on Not enough to bring it up, I wouldn't have brought it up
4:20Mike Minogue:I wouldn't let it affect my mood Absolutely not And also, what would you rather, Jase? Leaves Silence and leaves everywhere Really? Yes You don't know what it's like having leaves everywhere, man It's actually really dangerous They get really slippery People fall over, man Especially if people pass off their heads around your joint Which is everywhere
4:35Keyzie:If people are massively unco, that's on them I can see you falling over Nah, man, I'm solid as I remember that run between the wickets, bro Yeah, but that was because I was hindered by pads that didn't fit me properly
4:48Mike Minogue:Yeah, but you wear a different kind of pad when you're out and about, man. It'll still happen.
4:55Keyzie:I don't wear adult nappies, all right? He refuses to, despite doctor's advice. And if my undies are a bit damp at the end of the day, so be it. Be that on my wife's head when she does laundry. Is that what you're saying? But no, I'm not a leaker. No, that's good, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Kia kaha. Actually... I'm full-time sitting now. It's so rare for me to stand up and urinate
5:23Mike Minogue:Oh yeah same I don't think I ever stand up I hate it if I have to Really? Oh yeah Do you know where I stand up? Is that your office? My office Yep I stand up there And I stand up here at work obviously
5:34Keyzie:Is that because the toilet's filthy?
5:37Mike Minogue:No just because when I'm in a public place I stand up
5:39Keyzie:Oh yeah that's right You get all Oh it's dirty You're correct
5:44Mike Minogue:I like to be comfortable And I'll sit down on my toilet Yeah Or a friend's house You do it there? Yeah, I do it there. Right. Like when you host us, Moggy, I'll be sitting down at yours. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.
6:03Keyzie:There is something I still enjoy standing. I don't. A big, powerful stream with your legs akimbo. A big, powerful stream when you flush the toilet, but you don't need to because it's just dribbled onto the floor. Why are they akimbo? Because your legs are kimbo and then you lean forward at a 45 with one hand against the wall above the cistern. Exactly. Yeah. And just go. Yeah.
6:26Mike Minogue:Oh, that sounds great. Yeah, man. That sounds so good.
6:30Keyzie:I mean, I can't believe what old men you guys are having to sit down for these. We don't have to. Yeah, I choose to do it. I prefer, prefer it. I love to sit, though. I'm a big sitter. Big sitter. Given the opportunity. We had a guy on set for Wellington Paranormal and he would always, he had to carry around a chair. because I just fucking hate standing up.
6:48Mike Minogue:You hate it. I hate it. So there was a seat guy because Officer Mogey needed to sit. Well, he's a third AD, so he was there anyway, and he'd have a seat in our water bottles and shit, you know? Yeah. And your drugs. And my drugs. Yes. Yeah, right. So, Jace, can you try sitting down?
7:05Keyzie:Oh, I do sit down during the night. He finds it hard to get up. So that, well, I do sometimes with my hip.
7:13Mike Minogue:But you know
7:13Keyzie:I don't want to wake my wife up When I go wheeze So I do sit then I don't turn on the light
7:19Mike Minogue:Right so you're not legs Do you use the en suite In the middle of the night?
7:22Keyzie:Yes I'm not going out To the other bathroom I'm just doing wheeze It's only poos I'm so sorry for asking I'm not doing a Keezy steamer
7:30Mike Minogue:Keezy steamer
Read the full transcript
7:31Keyzie:If I was doing a Keezy steamer I'd use the other bathroom You'd use another building
7:34Mike Minogue:You couldn't handle A Keezy steamer mate No and I don't want to either
7:38Keyzie:It would kill you Don't handle it It'd be a couple of handfuls By the sounds of it
7:43Mike Minogue:For me just one ordinary Kesey steamer For you it was like a life changing event You would be like holy shit
7:48Keyzie:I'd lose like a stone of weight 100 % Up the wires? No Yeah What's this the Is it the second or third time They've won three on the trot Second Second time It's a disgrace Did you watch it? It's a disgrace Yes I did
8:04Mike Minogue:Did you enjoy it?
8:05Keyzie:They look good They look good
8:06Mike Minogue:So you watch the Warriors Yes They look good You enjoy it And then you go on the radio and you say they're shit.
8:11Keyzie:When did I say that?
8:13Mike Minogue:Like every Monday.
8:14Keyzie:No, I said they were good. For the last five years. I said they were good. No, you didn't. Tanner Boyd is a good player.
8:19Mike Minogue:Very good, isn't he?
8:21Keyzie:And they're looking very, very good at the moment. They'll shit the bed, of course.
8:25Mike Minogue:You want them to, eh? You want them to shit the bed.
8:28Keyzie:It's just classic Warriors stuff. Oh, yeah.
8:32Mike Minogue:Fuck off. It's just bullshit. Oh, yeah. Fuck off. Fuck off. Stop lying in it. Is that what you like with the All Blacks, man? Ten injuries. Is that what you like with the All Blacks?
8:42Keyzie:Oh, we've got injury problems. We've already got injury problems. He's one of these classic fucking union apologists, eh? Jason, yeah. He's the reason union's dying. He's all about the union. I watched a bit of union, too. I enjoyed it. Yeah, you loved it. It was good. Union rules. Hurricanes are going off at the moment. They're playing really well.
9:00Mike Minogue:Isn't it crazy? Once upon a time, it ruled my life. And now I couldn't tell you the score of any of the games. I can tell you all the scores And all of the NRL Well not all of them But I can tell you who won Isn't that crazy man I wish they'd just go back to MPC
9:14Keyzie:Yes I love the MPC too Just have a New Zealand competition With all the best players Playing in the New Zealand competition And for their area And for their area Be fucking sick Yes I just Agreed Do not give a shit But also I don't have enough time anyway Even if they did MPC I wouldn't watch that either I've got no time I've got no time
9:34Mike Minogue:You need to find more time I've got time for the Waz and that's plenty can I say that? is that enough? I think it is I don't need to be watching heaps of sports the older I get the harder I find to justify watching sports
9:47Keyzie:I watched the black caps yesterday for a while did you? why? and I was just like this is shit
9:56Mike Minogue:this is shit well it's because
9:58Keyzie:it's just fucking a conglomeration of players no one really cares about this particular series The final match series against South Africa's C team that they sent out here. They've got none of their players that play in the IPL, so none of their best players. We've got our test match openers opening for our T20 team. They're like 37 years old. You don't even bring in the younger guys to try them out when you're playing against people like that. They did yesterday. Did they? Good.
10:23Mike Minogue:I saw that catch from that new cat. Did you see that catch from that guy? Unbelievable. Fucking hell.
10:29Keyzie:And he came on. That was unbelievable. And he's mouldy as well. It must be the first time I've had a mouldy player in God knows how many decades. His father and grandfather played for the All Blacks. That's right, Māori All Blacks. Oh, Māori All Blacks. But he was great because he came out to bat. He opened the batting. First two balls, four, four. Really? Just smacked it and then got out.
10:47Mike Minogue:What's his name? I can't remember. Katane? Oh, yeah, could be. Katane. Yeah. Good looking fella. First name or second? That was his second, I think. Second name. Yeah. First name. But his catch, the catch was... Unbelievable? It was. Next level. It's one of the best catches I've ever seen in my life. One of the hardest catches to make I'd say Running in Yeah Diving forward Jase
11:08Keyzie:I think so Jase What do you reckon
11:11Mike Minogue:Hardest catch Yeah I think so I think so I think so Fuck leaf blowers though eh Jeez I'm going to smack you in a second Leaf blowers and the wahs can get fucked They can get fucked But on that note though Jase That new shirt is looking good That is a Thanks man New strat New strat Love it New strategy baby Hey listen to the big show 4 to 7 weekdays Radio Horaki .
From the publisher
On today's poddy, Leaf Blowers and sitting whilst taking a piss...
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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.
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