OUTRO: Looking Like a F***wit

0:00Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggy.

0:11Mike Minogue:4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horete. You got a new old t-shirt there, Keyzie? No, it's an old old one. He's worn it a lot. I always wear it, yeah. All the time. I remember, I know your other one, your red one. I don't know that one so well. It's actually, yeah. Winter Nats. Yeah, another Winter Nats one. I actually have two of those. I know your other Winter Nats one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've actually got four Winter Nats tees. Yeah. What are Winter Nats? Winter Nationals is the biggest, what you, surely you'd know from upper middle class Bogan family.

0:40Keyzie:Yeah, I do. Well, explain it to me then. Well, I want you to explain it for the audience. Why don't you explain it? It's admin practice. Is this admin practice?

0:48Mike Minogue:The Winter Nats is the biggest drag racing event in Aussie on the calendar year. Oh, is it in Aussie, is it? Yeah, it's over in, so like every two or three years when I was a kid, we'd go over, go to Movie World so that dad and my brother could go to the drags. I think those must have been rich. No, not rich. Movie World. My dad and my mum worked very hard. Very hard. And they put all their money aside to take us. So they worked hard for the money? Yeah. So hard for the money. 100%.

1:12Keyzie:9 to 5. Was Movie World just like where they played movies? Yeah. Right, okay. Do you not know what Movie World is? Well, it just seems like an overblown kind of title for going to watch a movie.

1:25Mike Minogue:It's like a theme park based on Warner Brothers. So you go there and there's like Spider-Man rides. It's the Looney Tunes. Right, okay. It's all that stuff. It's an amusement park. It ruled when I was a kid, man. A theme park. Happiest place on earth, man. Oh, that's Disneyland. Yeah. Scooby-Doo. I was never taken to amusement parks as a kid.

1:43Keyzie:There weren't any when you were a kid? Oh, there were. There was the Easter show and all that sort of stuff. But, you know, it was just like, no, no. Did you not go to an AP and I show? No, nothing, man. Or an A &P show. Just get back to work was what I was told. You love A &P shows, eh? Yeah, I love A &P shows.

1:58Mike Minogue:I have actually been to the Springston A &P show a few years back because one of our aunties had entered some brownies into a baking competition. Who did? One of Lucy's aunties. She was always baking brownies, was she? No, it was actually shortbread. Sorry, I said brownies, but it was incorrect.

2:18Keyzie:Mogi's in one of those moods. What mood's that? A kind of fringy filth mood, I'll call it.

2:26Mike Minogue:But, yeah, it was interesting. There's like new tractors and shit and like, oh, look at these chickens. Like it was a chicken competition. It's such a great day out, isn't it? When you can see the ads for it. Do you guys want to come and have a look at these tractors and these chickens and shit? But the chickens are like, who's got the most beautiful chicken? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you seen that documentary, Jase? No. It's easy. It's good, isn't it? The New Zealand one. It rules.

2:46Keyzie:I lied a little bit. They used to have down in Taranaki when I used to go on the farm there, they'd have like calf day. You know, like best calf and best sheep and shit. Lambs.

3:00Mike Minogue:Lambs showing is what all the kids did. That's what my wife did, and she's got all these ribbons still and was in the newspaper for showing lambs. It was pretty bloody tedious, to be honest with you. I was like, you fucking hillbilly, really? It's just like. I was writing a bloody, I don't know. There's something about a calf, though, you know, when you're feeding them milk.

3:17Keyzie:And it sucks on your finger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, they can suck.

3:26Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki The Hauraki Big Show Podcast

3:35Keyzie:I mean they've got a powerful power Yeah because it's to get the liquid out

3:39Mike Minogue:It's that thing It's to extract the liquid Of course it's powerful

3:43Keyzie:It gives you an idea of what breastfeeding must be like You know what I mean?

3:48Mike Minogue:What a cow sucking on your finger

3:49Keyzie:Yeah well just the pull and tug of it You would think you would like you'd know from putting your sort of your forefinger in a baby's mouth when they suck on, when they do it, more than a lamb.

4:02Mike Minogue:That's a good point. Did you do that? Did your daughter ever suck on your finger? Yeah. Was it quite? Just on the knuckle. And was it quite hard or not really? Yeah, well, it's funny because they've got the ridge, hard ridge of the gums. Oh, the gums, yeah.

4:15Keyzie:No, I think that's what caused my daughters to get into smoking, you know, because with my smoker's knuckle there, they'd be sucking on back. Oh, true that. And they'd be like, no, I tell you what, we never really did that. But one of my girls, her big thing as a baby was playing with hair. Right. So she'd be just lying in your arms and she'd just twirl your hair in her hand. She still does that, actually. Right. It was very, very cute. Did you ever have really long hair? Yeah. Yes, I did. How long? Like really long. Oh, my God. I told you about. How long? That doesn't tell us. Well, past my shoulder blades.

4:50Keyzie:Past my shoulder blades. Oh, my God. and I used to wear it. I think I've told you guys this in a ponytail. Which is a really horrendous look. But for the time, that would have been about right, wouldn't it? Well, I don't even know then.

5:05Mike Minogue:So what age was this?

5:07Keyzie:Late teens, early 20s.

5:09Mike Minogue:Do you reckon me in my late teens, early 20s, if I came across you?

5:12Keyzie:I can't even. No, no, no, we're on you.

5:15Mike Minogue:So for the record, late teens, early 20s for me, I was a pretty standard Kiwi fella. Eyes to the front. do you reckon I would have liked you? You ask this question a lot, Keith. I think you do. Yes, I do. Really? The answer's the same. That's good. The thing is, I just picture Jason, his like, I don't know, Paisley seems to be a thing he throws out. Winklepickers are a thing. Yeah. Ponytail. Doc Martens. Doc Martens. I just picture it. Corduroy pants. I think in your teens is when you're at your most judgy and bitchy. I think I would have been like, who the hell's this guy? Yeah, but what would you have been wearing at the same time?

5:51Mike Minogue:with your beaded hair. I never had cornrows, thank you. I wanted them. Did you really? Yeah, but I never got them. God, it would have been good if you did. Yeah, I grew up. It's not too late. You know, Snoop Dogg and shit. Lil Bow Wow. Yeah, yeah. You sort of connected with that African-American culture, X to the Z. That would have been appropriating culture, certainly. Well, I don't think getting cornrows is anything. Like, Sean Paul had it. Who? He's not black. Sean Paul. Oh, the guy from Jamaica. Sean Paul. Yeah. Yeah. That's fine. He's not Jamaican. He's like Spanish or something. Sean Paul.

6:22Mike Minogue:Yeah. Whereas Mogi was.

6:27Keyzie:He was running the purple boots, you remember. No, I just had a mullet. And I had a mullet, but it was so curly that it went. Mogi. It occurred up in a ball at the back of my head.

6:36Mike Minogue:He is Jamaican. Yeah. I would never have guessed that Sean Paul was Jamaican based on how he sings and talks and looks. I thought he was like South American. And his last name is Enrique. Enrique. So it's a blend of the two. On the weekend. So we're both right. We're not. That's a victory.

6:55Keyzie:I actually don't know who you're talking about. No, I mean, I couldn't tell you what any of the songs are, but I remember him being like, he's sort of like an informer sort of guy. Snow back in the day.

7:05Mike Minogue:Da, da, da, da. Do I dare on Rebecca? I think that, you know,

7:14Keyzie:if you liked sucking piss and getting stoned, you would have loved me.

7:17Mike Minogue:See, I wasn't big on the getting stoned at that point. Right, okay. I was pre that.

7:21Keyzie:I think Mogi and I would have gotten on tremendously well.

7:25Mike Minogue:But Mogi, I feel like I'm picturing Mogi and Levin. Yeah. And he's dressed exactly the same. No. I would have got smacked over for dressing like that. No, for you. Like how you're dressed right now. Jeans, T-shirt. Why were you pointing at me?

7:38Keyzie:Did you think he was talking about me?

7:39Mike Minogue:Yeah, if you were dressed like that in Levin, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not now. No, not like how you were dressed now, but the Paisley. Yes. Yeah, it wouldn't have gone well.

7:47Keyzie:The stone pipes. But you also wouldn't have been... No, they were okay, although there was a bit of a pushback against tight jeans for quite a long time. That meant you were gay immediately. It's a different type. Yes, now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You won't be without this. Yeah, I love a TJ. The worst thing about, you know, my look... No, but there's nothing you can do about it. Well, yeah, that's true. And also, but I've already said it before, but my Winkle Pickers were slip-ons.