OUTRO: Mogey attends a play

0:00Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggy. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horeke. Oh, g'day fellas. Backbone. Backbone. Hello. It's so surreal. Today I was up in Mangafai there, Moggy. I went there last night. You were scaring all the fish away, were you? Scaring all the fish away. But I always find it weird. It's like when I come back from the batch and go straight into doing the show where you go from a really – Well, it's just you're in this really beautiful environment. The beach is beautiful and stuff, and then you go back in and you're talking shit on the radio.

0:43You could make that your reality, though. Tony can help you with that, man. What, make – you mean move, Keezy?

0:50Keyzie:Yeah, 100%. Well, I could. I could. You could.

0:53Mike Minogue:What you've done instead is move into the city.

0:56Keyzie:And do the show remotely. Oh, no, you'll have to leave the show. Oh, I'd have to. Yeah, this is the end of the show. That will be the end of the road for you, absolutely. Fellas, I wouldn't want to let the fellas down. I'm okay. We're all good. I want you to be happy. That's the important thing for me. If that means moving to Mangafai Heads and quitting the big show, then so be it.

1:15Mike Minogue:But you know what I mean, though? You could make that happen. I feel like your dream would be to live somewhere like the Batch or like Mangafai, maybe not as remote as the Batch. It used to be my dream. Not anymore. Not anymore. Oh, here he is. Big city life. Is that what your dream is?

1:29Keyzie:Well, yeah. Funnily enough, I bumped into our old mate Liam Dan. Oh, yeah. Business editor at large. I was talking to him. He said he was going to chuck you 150K to go into your, yeah. He's keen, man. Your buzies and your stick mags. Stick mags and toasted sandwiches. Yes. Yes. We were talking about it and, you know, I was saying I have an apartment in town now. I rent an apartment. I don't have an apartment. And I'm loving it. And I said to him, if you had said to me five, ten years ago, I'd go and live in the CBD, I would have gone, fuck no. No way would I be into that. And my dream was always Coromandel or somewhere really.

2:10Keyzie:But I've realised my reality, and my reality is I do not have the brain for that.

2:15Mike Minogue:No, you'll go crazy.

2:17Keyzie:I would go mad. Right. I have these fantasies of loving it and being, like I would love to live by the beach. That would be great, genuinely, but I would need more going on because if I'm not doing shit, I'm a mad bastard.

2:33Mike Minogue:You would be a mad bastard. Might I suggest Mount Maunganui? No. I think the city's good and then you've got the batch.

2:39Keyzie:That's right. Well, that's the other side. We're very lucky. I was talking about your stepfather, your father-in-law, I should say, Yes. And he said he's sort of had it up to here with you going out. I was telling him that I reckon that he needs to pull the plug on you going out there. Yeah, fair enough. It's just not good for your mental health, man. Because sometimes it's not, sometimes it's rainy. Yeah, yeah. And you get really down. Yeah, and sometimes there's people there. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And I said, could you sort out your booking system at least, man? Hoody Jays, you're a shocking bastard.

3:08Mike Minogue:And then Pete said, oh, it was a piss take into that intentionally. Yeah.

3:12Keyzie:We haven't actually been there since October last year. That's crazy, isn't it? And we're like, fuck. I've got my mother coming up this weekend. I only booked her in on - Marge. Me old Marge there. I only booked her in a couple of days ago there. And then my cousin who lives on Waiheke was texting me yesterday saying, oh, what are you doing for Easter? We're going to be awake and have our house on Waiheke.

3:32Mike Minogue:Awesome. No. No, because his mum's coming. Because my mum's coming and she can't go. There's not enough room for mum. Oh. So she can stay at our place in the city, actually, and look after the cat. And me and the missus and the kid can go over to Waiheke. So it'll be Marge and Birdshit Cress at your house. Yeah, that's right. Watching Come Dine With Me. Hey, I'm sorry to do this, fellas, but I really want to talk about the play. Oh, yes, sure. That I saw over the weekend because we only have time to do it properly. The play that Jase's wife was in. I really enjoyed it. Did you go to it? I did.

4:01I went on Saturday night. That was that photo that I shared.

4:04Keyzie:Did you not see the photo in the chat? With Jase's entire extended family.

4:08Mike Minogue:Yes. I was on the piss on Saturday night. I did wonder about that. You came in with another comment. But it was long. Yes. It was longer than I thought it would be because I think it started just after 8 and got out at about 20 past 25 past 10.

4:25Keyzie:Jesus. It wasn't that long for me. Oh, I'll tell you why, Mogey. They had technical issues. Oh, did they? Yes, for the second half. Ah, is that what was going on? So, yeah, there was a delay going on. It's funny you say that because you would have met Miriam. I did. Yes. You bet I did. She said to my wife Is that your mother-in-law? Yes She said to my Oh that's the one you bought The sexy lingerie No no No I bought that For my wife's mum Oh sorry Yeah yeah She came up to Kosh I mean my wife Yes After the play and said Well it's a very long play Ah See that's what we've talked about And My wife was like Okay The first comment out That's a good one Yes That's a good one But then in her defence, she wrote a very long description of what she enjoyed about it in the family chat.

5:18Keyzie:Ah, did she? Well, there you go. Yes, yes. I really enjoyed it. I thought all of the performances, except for one, were very good. Yes. I thought the young fella in it was very good. Yes, Leonardo. I met him afterwards. I thought he was like 38. No, he's just a young fella. He's 26, that guy. Fuck off. Yeah, yeah. He's 26. Fuck off.

5:39Mike Minogue:No, I thought he was like 40. Isn't that unreal? It's the hair, isn't it? The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. What this play is about is people, is women at various stages of trying to or not have kids at varying sort of ages and the different ways that you can approach that. Very good because there's IVF chat in there, which my wife and I went through and all of that sort of stuff. And it's, fuck, it is fucking harrowing. Yeah. It's really full on. It was eye-opening for me. Oh, my God. It's a fucking nightmare. Yes. And how that – because we were similar to that character.

6:15They said they would never do it. Yeah. We said we would never do it. If you couldn't have kids, then that's nature. Yes. And then, of course, you can't have kids. You're like, fuck you, I'll have kids. Yeah. And then you start going down – and it's fucking expensive and all that sort of stuff, and it doesn't work for us. So I thought it was – yeah, I thought it was really good, and I thought he was very good. I know what you mean, but you did say about upstaging, but I think there was a need to lighten some of the tone. Oh, yeah. But I thought, yeah, the actors were really good. And Kosh was great.

6:45I thought one thing about what, which I didn't like about what she had to do was everybody else had their dramatic hurdle. There's a different term for it. But you learnt about them and then their dramatic hurdle came up quickly and then it was about them trying to get over that for the rest of the play. You knew what everybody's issue was, but for her, hers didn't come for a very long time. The second half of it. Yes, yeah, yeah. And I don't know why they did that. Yeah, yeah. Because it should have been earlier. So for your wife's character, she was a professional woman that had had kids, got them off to school and was coming back to the workforce and then ended up getting pregnant again.

7:22Yes. But that part of it didn't happen until very, very late. And so she was just a woman that was sort of going through and she wasn't really trying to get it, you know. And if they brought that forward and then the thing was that the husband would have wanted to have another kid and then it was her trying to get through that decision more. Yes, I agree. And so there was more drama for her earlier on. Yes. That would make more sense.

7:43Keyzie:I agree, totally. Yeah, I thought that was – because it happened very quick and then she was bang, bang, bang and that was it. Yes. It was odd. It was odd. But, yeah, great stuff. Good on you. And Radio Hodaki got a couple of mentions at the end of the night. Oh, did they? Yeah, well, because they sold out. That's so good. And there were a couple of nights where they were literally turning people away. Right. And they said that doesn't happen. Isn't that just awesome? Yeah, it's brilliant. It is. It doesn't happen in – I wouldn't have thought. I don't know. But also the funny thing – In Wellington it certainly doesn't happen.

8:14Mike Minogue:The funny thing is the big show and theatre do not – well, you guys do. Are not synonymous. Our listeners that I meet, I can't imagine any of them going to the theatre. Well, I can tell you how many backbones I saw in the crowd, and that was none. Yes. Except for your daughters, both of whom I've got a lot of time for. Yes. I just saw the lovely photo, by the way. Especially your youngest one. Yeah. Very, very funny. Yes, she enjoyed chatting to you. She's great. I'd like to spend more time with her. She's very funny. She is really funny. Oh, she is.

8:41Keyzie:And it's like I've told you, there's been times, many times, where she's cut me down very, very sharply. And I've been like, fuck. That's the thing, eh? Because they're learning from the best. Yes. And so they get an apprenticeship from a fucking guy that's graded and then you get smashed. But, you know, my wife and I were talking about it. how, you know, because our family, we do a lot of chat and it's a lot of humour involved in our chat. And she's found often when she goes out with other people that there's not the same level of comedy.

9:19Mike Minogue:Did you ever become self-aware of the fact that you're providing all the entertainment whenever you do like a – when we go out for dinner with certain people, and to be honest, it's no one we hang out with now, you go, fucking hell, we're doing about 80 % of the lifting. here. Totally.

9:32Keyzie:But that's also because I'm one of those people that if I'm in a social environment and it's nothing happening I feel obliged to talk. Otherwise you just throw people out halfway through a drink. Exactly. Hard out. And I noticed that going up to my wife's mother's place in Mangafai there with my other daughter. It's interesting family dynamics. I am definitely the idiot of the family. 100%. An idiot. 100%. And they just all look at me like an idiot.

10:04Mike Minogue:Yes.

10:05Keyzie:You know, it's like you were an idiot. And I go, oh, okay, that's it.

10:09Mike Minogue:Do you ever do stuff that's not in their eyes? Like, wow, Dad, well done. Oh. Oh, I don't even know if they'd say that. No. Yeah. No. When was the last time you – like something you've done that was really clever and maybe figured something out or I don't know. Or is your job just to be the idiot?

10:28Keyzie:Well, you know, like our daughter Scarlett was like, I'm so proud of you guys for moving to the CBD. There you go. She's very proud. 100%. And it's like, whatever, man. Don't talk to me, man. I'm an under-communicator. I learned more about you from sitting next to your daughters, and I've learned from you in, what, five or six years. That would make sense. They were showing me photos, telling me yards. What? Chase has got a prop box. I want to sit next to them and learn from them. What? A prop box? A prop box. Every now and again, a prop box comes out, And out of the prop box, I'm assuming it's from your sugar and spice days, a dildo will come out or any number of things.

11:07Keyzie:We did have a sugar and spice prop box that was filled with sex. Yeah, and so one of your daughters was talking about that. Yeah. Scarlet was – one of them brought – I don't think I've told you this story. We literally had people over and – I think you might tell me this story. I think it was Scarlett. And it was a massive vibrator, which she'd turned on. And she was like, and the two people that were with us were really straight. How old was she? I don't know, seven or eight maybe. And she put it on the bench and it was vibrating on the bench. And she was like, what's that? And Kosh and I were like, oh, fucking hell.

11:51Keyzie:It's good stuff. Because it was genuinely a sugar and spice prop. And we were like, oh, that's a prop. And the people that were there were like.

12:00Mike Minogue:Sure it is. Why is it fully charged up? Yeah. And then your other daughter there was talking about, oh, I should stumble across your old sugar and spice videos. Oh, right, yes. And lots of phalluses and all that sort of thing. So for a teenage girl, she was, you know, It's one of those things where it's sort of a feigned... Oh, God. But really, love it.

12:25Keyzie:Absolutely love it. Imagine having a boring dad. Yes, well, I don't know if I'm a boring dad.

12:30Mike Minogue:No, I don't think so, man. Hey, listen to the big show, four to seven weekdays. But I really loved it. Yeah, great.

12:35Keyzie:I really enjoyed the play, and it was great to see. I agree with your analysis. Yes. Absolutely, I agree. Out of ten. Give it a four. I reckon it's a four out of five buzzies because I really enjoyed the thing. Now, as you said, is it the best play in the world? No, but I really enjoyed it. Same, yeah. I still really enjoyed it. I tell you what, it was a lot better than I was anticipating. Same here.

13:02Mike Minogue:Yeah, great. I was like, oh, God. And my wife was even talking about it. If we read the synopsis of that, I'd be like, nah. Yeah, exactly. And they did a great job, especially knowing, coming from that IVF stuff, it was really good. Good stuff, fellas. Seed, by the way. Seed. This is the Big J. 47 Weekdays Radio. How do you know?