OUTRO: Most Boring Bleeps

0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggy. Four to seven every weekday on Radio Hoda Aki.

0:15Keyzie:Oh, g'day fellas. Bang, bang. Hello. Just seen here on the emails, Jase, you wouldn't have seen this, man. Probably not, no. There's an email here from our wellness team here at NZME. and as part of their wellbeing programme they're pleased to offer a complimentary 15 minute spinal health check with the New Zealand College of Chiropractic. They're a great opportunity to have your spinal health assessed, discuss any aches or discomforts you may be experiencing and receive advice on maintaining good posture and spinal wellbeing, Jase. I would be into that. Because you strike me as someone who's got a touch of the bifidus.

0:54Keyzie:I've got to be honest Well no I'm good as long as I'm moving It's when I stop Keep trucking And you're like getting up off the couch If I've just been walking around I sit down on the couch for 20 minutes I get up I'm like oh fuck Can I put it to you this way Keezy If this was 1981 And you had to go to work Middle of winter And Jase was your car You'd get up out of bed You'd go outside, you'd start the car, you just leave it a neutral and you keep it running. Then you go back inside. Yeah. You'd have a shower, a bit of breakfast, give it a good 30, 40 minutes, and then Hoity J is going to be ready to go.

1:32But once he's warmed up, he's sweet as.

1:34Mike Minogue:But that's the difference, though, Jace, is that if Hoity J was a car, maybe he would warm up. That's true, actually. When we play golf still to this day, zero warm-up, straight into swimming, straight into my back hurts.

1:45Keyzie:I mean, I don't know how you guys are with this, but getting up in the morning, I'm the same. I get up and I'm like, ah, piece of piss with me.

1:53Mike Minogue:Same here, but that's because you and I have the same issue, which is I think we both need a stiffer bed. Yeah, I think so. A firmer bed. Because mine, fuck, every morning I wake up with a sore back. Do you? Yes. And it's because of my bed. You've got to get that sore out.

2:06Keyzie:Well, interestingly, it's not that interesting, but it did tell a story is when we were in Vietnam, we slept on hard beds. Have you been to Vietnam? Yeah, I went to Vietnam. I'll tell you about it one day, fellas.

2:17Mike Minogue:Well, that's the thing. You said your back was great.

2:19Keyzie:We slept on hard beds the whole time. Well, you know, we're firm beds and my back problems disappeared.

2:24Mike Minogue:Yeah, so it is 100 % and the softness of your couch will be the same thing. Same with my couch.

2:28Keyzie:My hernia hurts today though. It's really getting a bit protruding. I might have to get it stitched back in. Do you find yourself when you're sort of hanging around the house by yourself because your wife works or you wander around the city by yourself, do you find yourself in conversation with your hernia, Jase? Just little chats, little asides? What I find with my hernia, Moggy, is I'm in a constant battle to not push it back in. But you're meant to push it back in. Yeah, I know, but it hurts so much when I do that.

2:56Mike Minogue:And for the audience, where it is actually makes it look like you've got an outie belly button. Yes, but much grosser. Way grosser. So, yeah. So, Jase, do you currently have an outie? I don't think. I think it's gone back in again. Do you know what you should do, Jase, is you should get a tattoo and you should tattoo the hernia red, like a button, and then over the top of it, put something like push to reset or... Push to start. Yeah, if in a hurr of a mood, press to reset. Press to put in hurr of a mood. Sorry, excuse me. Jesus. Holy fuck. Right, Keezy? Press to put Jason to a hurr of a mood.

3:36Mike Minogue:By the way, that Meadow Fresh thing there, I was listening to The Breakfast Show. It's an experiment. Oh, is it? Yeah, they've got Stephen Adams to sign it, and then they're just leaving it there because they reckon one of us is going to steal it. Oh, really? Yeah. No, no, I was told not to touch it because it means so much to Jerry. Nah. And I'm not a basketball fan, so I'm not that interested.

3:55Keyzie:To give you an idea of what we've got here, we've got a meadow fresh quick brekkie, protein and fibre and energy in every drink.

4:05Mike Minogue:It's more of a they think we'll just eat it. Oh, yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. So to give people an idea, and it's a vanilla flavour, I wouldn't drink that shit in a million years. I would, yummy. No, no. So I'm out. So it's too close to me. I wouldn't go near it. Even though it's got a picture of Stephen Adams with a basketball on it. Yes. That's still not putting me over the edge. No.

4:24Keyzie:And I like a... Flavoured milk. Flavoured milk. But not even I'm tempted. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. You know how good the Hauraki Big Show podcast is? Yeah, I love those fellas. Backbone. Yeah, backbone. You get it. You've got to get around the live radio show. Oh, yeah, when's that? Four to seven weekdays on Radio Hauraki and iHeartRadio. Backbone. Nice.

4:56Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show Podcast. Jase has got a new addiction. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I know. God, you're going to be a monster. What is it? You are going to absolutely blow out frozen yogurt. Yeah. We had one last night. I don't think he will because he's had so many addictions and you look exactly the same. Well, you asked me what it was, where it was.

5:20Keyzie:It's called. And my wife humiliated herself when we went there because there's a whole little range of sweets that you can put on your yogurt. She said, oh, I might put some sweets on mine tonight. I know it. Good on you, love. And she had some tweezers, and she got a whole tweezer full of M &Ms and then dropped them all over the floor. Oh, my God. A whole tweezer. How many can you carry in a tweezer? Well, she had a real. You mean like tongs? Yeah, tongs. Sorry. What did I say? Tweezers. You just get one at a time. Yeah, one douche douche. So that was bloody good, though.

6:01Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah. I do like frozen yogurt.

6:04Keyzie:And you kid yourself by saying, oh, it's really good for you because it's yogurt. That's bullshit.

6:10Mike Minogue:You've seen the Seinfeld episode, eh? It's a famous episode. No. I'm not a big fan of Seinfeld. They open a frozen yogurt store and everyone's addicted to it because it's low fat. But it's actually just really, really bad. Everyone gets humongous. Everyone gets humongous. That's kind of what's happening to me. So I've just, we might have to do some beeping here, pugs. We might have to do some beeping. But I've just Googled ****** as a store that you go to. Yes. This is the headline. Simply not yogurt. Yeah. A frozen yogurt company has been fined for selling frozen yogurt products which did not contain yogurt.

6:43The fine has been reduced from$270 ,000 to$70 ,000 because the companies charged by the Commerce Commission were both in liquidation. There you go, 63 counts. So they've resurfaced. Does it look like that or has it changed? Yeah, no, it looks like that. Oh, yeah. So there you go. I wonder if it is yogurt. I wonder what's in it if it's not yoghurt.

7:03Keyzie:Well, there's all sorts of flakes. Yeah, well, that's a good question. Probably just ice cream. But...

7:09Mike Minogue:I know what's in it. No. Do you want to know?

7:13Keyzie:I worry about the young lady in here. I worry about the young lady serving there. She's very sweet and, you know, and they're up fucking late, man. And it's like, you get some bloody customers, I tell you what. It's like down near ******, down by the ******.

7:33Mike Minogue:Yes. There's a creperie.

7:35Keyzie:Oh, yes, I know the one.

7:36Mike Minogue:We went to the late night creperie once at like 10pm and this lovely French girl was working there and everyone outside was either wasted or unhoused and there was no security person or anything. It's just her by this window. Right. Great crepe. Great crepe. Really delicious. Did you give her a few facts? Nah, nah, none.

7:55Keyzie:I had to, when we were on our way to Yogurt Story last night, Mogi, it was about, I don't know, 8.30, and there was a guy lying in Aotea Square, and it had blankets over him, but he was on the steps in Aotea Square, you know, where the statue is. And both my wife and I stopped, and we were looking at him, and I was like, is he alive? Yeah. Grey hair. And I was like, oh. So we went to Yogurt Story and got our yogurts. And then on the way back, we sort of walked past him again and he wasn't moving. And I was like, no. Did you rob him? Hold this, darling. Hold my yogurts. And I went over and I just had to check that he was still alive.

8:47Keyzie:And he was. He was all G.

8:48Mike Minogue:Did you say g'day?

8:49Keyzie:I said, you all good, mate? Backbone. And he blinked and smiled and did the thumbs up, and I went, oh, okay, good. It's off his face. No. If he is, fair enough. But it was just a really peculiar place to do it on the steps of Aotea Square because people going up and down the steps all the time. He looked like he had made a bed. Did you ask him to move on? No. Fucking hell, man. I went back to my... Good on you, mate.

9:16Mike Minogue:It's so cold at the moment. Fucking freezing. Oh, yeah, winter's here.

9:20Keyzie:You've got to get off the ground, fellas. I don't sleep on the ground. I know, for people that are sleeping on the... Not good. You need to tell them one-on-one, Jase, not on our podcast.

9:30Mike Minogue:I do. Yeah. I do. So when you say get off the ground, where do they sleep? On a bench. On a bench. But then air will come underneath you. But cardboard, but yeah, you lose way more...

9:39Keyzie:Concrete's very cold. You lose way more body heat if you're lying directly on the ground, Kesey.

9:44Mike Minogue:Yeah, right, because you were unhoused for a bit there, eh?

9:46Keyzie:I have been. Yeah. Yeah. Really? but anyway so it's not yogurt that's believable but it doesn't say what it is that's weird well no no I can only assume that they went under and that they've come back

10:06well according to this they're no longer in business J so I don't know where the fuck you've been going as of this year that brand to say it being beeped again is no longer operating no longer an operating business and their Commerce Commission case is closed. The original nationwide chain of 22 stores no longer exists.