OUTRO: Muscley J

0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggett. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horeke. That's true man, yeah, here we go. Who wants to start with some weather chat fellas, anyone? Shit out there. It's raining.

0:23Keyzie:It's not great is it? Do you know what I love about Auckland rain man, it goes straight down. It does. Well, actually, that's not entirely true, Mogi. I was looking out my window today and it was slanting. It was so strong. I guess compared to my years in Wellington. Sure. So there's a difference. I was going like this at the moment. That'd be going 120Ks in Wellington. Yeah. Right in your face, Kesey. Right in your face. Right in my face. Right in your fucking face. In your face. What have you guys been up to? I was going to say something else, but then I didn't.

0:53Mike Minogue:Today, my wife and I, because she was working from home. What have you been eating, man? You've been burping up a storm. Ah, baked beans. And you're going to go and get some, oh, for breakfast. Are they Watties baked beans? Yeah. You know what I wouldn't mind trying is the Heinz ones. The OGs. No, the, no. No, I'm allowed to try it, Jason. Yeah, I'm going to try them.

1:14Keyzie:No, don't even try it. Why? Well, I'm telling you now. Don't shelter me. You will be disappointed, Keezy. That's all I'm saying. Totally, man. Spread your wings, though, man. They're not acceptable. What about a cannellini bean? Do you like a cannellini bean?

1:28Mike Minogue:Mogi, I love beans of all different varieties. Right. It's like, for example, refried beans, Mexican food. Love it. Yes. It's so good. Absolutely.

1:35Keyzie:That's my favorite bean.

1:36Mike Minogue:Is that your top bean? I like Mr. Bean.

1:38Keyzie:What I do now with my baked beans, and I do it every time now, is I fry up some bacon. I chop it very finely. Hody J, A number one, best in the world. Very finely, and I cook that in its own fat, you know, and give it a bit of a stir around. Then I put my baked beans in there. With the fat? with the bacon. With a fat one. And I've got that great jar of chili with the nuts in it.

2:01Mike Minogue:Oh, the Mrs. What's it called? Doubtfire. Chili oil.

2:05Keyzie:Yeah, it's chili oil. It's the bomb. And I get a little half teaspoon. Sometimes a whole teaspoon. That shit is amazing. And I chuck it in there and a bit of cracked pepper. Yeah, give it a stir. And then I get two pieces of white toast, slather it in butter, and then pour those bars into it. Spicy beans. Yeah, spicy beans with bacon. Can you let me know what this chilli number is here? Sure, man. I'm none the wiser.

2:26Mike Minogue:If you just type in chilli oil, it'll be the one that pops up in every single supermarket with the lady on it. It's red. Oh, the lady. It's good stuff, Mogi. Lady and red. There's two types. There's chilli flakes and oil, and then there's chilli sauce. I prefer the chilli sauce.

2:40Keyzie:My wife actually made a very delicious udon noodle soup last night with chicken breast and egg and all that sort of stuff in it. You chuck a spoonful of this shit in it, Mogi, and the red oil just seeps out into the whole bowl. It's beautiful. Can I ask you, fellas, if it's Laugan Ma? That sounds about right. Yep. Possibly.

3:01Mike Minogue:Red jar? Red jar, yellow lady. Yes. She's wearing something yellow. It's good shit, mate. If you love your chilli, that's the one to go for. That is the one to go for. I hate chilli. Will I like that? You don't hate chilli, Mogi. You love chilli, man. You love chilli, Mogi. Fellas, fellas. Seriously, if you get a really bland Asian dish that someone's made and it's not very good, a bit of that and a little bit of Kewpie mayo always saves the day. A little bit of salt, a little bit of pepper.

3:27Keyzie:I often say, you know, when my wife cooks a meal. Got any of that Lao Gan Ma. I say, would you be offended?

3:34Mike Minogue:If I put some Lao Gan Ma on this?

3:36Keyzie:And now she just goes, no.

3:40Mike Minogue:Yeah, actually, my wife used to get pissed off because I was obsessed with sriracha for a while. Oh, yeah. and I'd put that in everything. Before I've even tasted it, I'd sit down, put it all over it, and then she'd be like, can you at least taste it first and see if it tastes nice? It's sort of gone now, isn't it, the sriracha? It's not as prevalent. It was everywhere it was.

3:56Keyzie:Funnily enough, today I was making a cracker.

4:00Mike Minogue:Making a cracker? Are you fucking kidding me?

4:03Keyzie:A cracker. I was going to put a little dollop of sriracha mayonnaise on it. Yeah. Right? God, this is good stuff. And the top fell off and it just went all over the cracker. I had to biff it. I was effing and jeffing

4:15Mike Minogue:so what'd you do? I biffed it no then what, did you make another one? No I sat on my couch and starved and just got grumpy fumed, yeah, fumed are you gonna come with us to go get sushi? because you're obviously hungry and you're gonna bitch and then you're gonna steal chips where all three of us are going to get sushi you should just come I'm thinking about trying to, oh no I need to eat dammit yeah, forget that, starve I was gonna just not eat and wait till I got home but I'm gonna go to the gym after the radio The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

4:55I started up on my exercises again today, fellas. It's been a long time for you, man. You haven't been going to the gym at all. Have you been doing your – so now the way you've framed that there, Jase, I'm going to put it to you. You didn't go to the gym. You did some more of your chair yoga.

5:08The laziest of all the fucking yogas. No, the – Is there bed yoga?

5:13Keyzie:The chair yoga I slammed pretty quickly because it was ridiculous.

5:18Mike Minogue:Still paying for the subscription. I don't know. You've got to keep paying it. I just delete it off your app.

5:21Keyzie:Well, funnily enough, just this last weekend, I finally cancelled my fucking gym subscription. Oh, right. Because I kept trying to do it through the bank, and the bank went, no, you actually have to go to the place and do it. And so it was like, ah. So you did it through the bank? What are you? And then, how old are you? Because it was an automatic payment, and I thought I could just stop the automatic payment. No, because you have to give them probably a month in advance, was it? Well, that's what they said. So I went in there and I said, yeah, g'day. And they recognised me because I'm a bit of a radio star.

5:51Keyzie:They know who I am. Oh, of course they do. And they recognised me and the woman behind the counter. Fucking hot, wasn't she? I beg your pardon, Keezy? Just rewind that 15 seconds and you'll distinctly be able to hear Jase mouthing the words fucking hot. Oh, come on, you guys. Come on, man. Carry on the story, though. What gym is this? Keezy's going to do that. I'm not going to tell you what, Jim. And she said to me, Yes, no, that's all fine, but you've got to give us a month's notice. Yeah. And I was like, fuck off. Just so that they can prepare for you not being there. Yeah, totally. Which you haven't been for the last 12 months.

6:28Keyzie:Well, it hasn't been 12. I was there this time last year. How about 12 months? That's 12 months ago. That's literally 12 months ago. I would say it's definitely been a good six or seven months. Yeah, 12. And I was going, why am I doing that? Why am I paying that? I'm not even fucking going. That's bullshit. You should go to the gym because you're worried about your stage. You're looking at yourself in the reflection of the harsh lies. Well, I'm going to talk about that on today's show. Yeah, yeah. And it's not a pretty suck because I don't know if you fellas know this. I was in pretty good nick mid last year.

6:58Keyzie:You've got a couple of titties on you. I've got titties on me at the moment. I've got a couple of man buzzies. A couple of those sweet heirs. Plus you've got a dump truck. And I'm not happy about it at all. No. No.

7:11Mike Minogue:Why not, though? Well, because at his age, it's going to have an effect on the health of his heart, Kesey. You start running a bit of a paunch in a couple of them there titties, you're at a higher risk of a cardiac event. He's 39, man.

7:24Keyzie:I know. I'm not young, Kesey, I admit it.

7:27Mike Minogue:You're only five years older than me.

7:29Keyzie:I know, man, but I mean, I was looking at you at the black clash and just going, holy hecka, someone's let themselves go over the Christmas party.

7:40Mike Minogue:Ha, sweet. And it immediately turns into a drive-by on keys. Yeah, I just get sprayed with an Uzi out the window. That's good stuff. What was your exercise?

7:53Keyzie:Look, look, small steps, fellas. What was it, you fucking lazy people?

7:59Mike Minogue:Were you running or just running a yap?

8:02Keyzie:Yeah. The one thing that I will say, you know, that I haven't been going to the gym, but I have really upped my walking. Yeah. I've been doing a lot of that with my wife. And how much good has that been doing out of interest? Well, a lot of good, I think. I think, actually, I'm a little bit more aerobically fit than I was because I was fucking a shocker. Combine with your golf, yeah. I couldn't walk up a hill without fucking nearly dying. Mind you, the last time Keezy and I played golf, we walked it and it fucking damn near killed me.

8:29Mike Minogue:And it's a hilly bar, it does. I did 10 ,000 steps yesterday for possibly the first time in my life. I like that. It's just the rain that stopped me. purely out of by accident you weren't trying to not trying to so I just I walked to work then I walked here then I went to the gym and then I came here and then I walked home and that was 10 ,000 that's a good amount it's a good amount so I'm going to try and do that every day

8:56Keyzie:it's a nice walk too I'm massively looking forward to living in the city that's the whole point we're just going to fucking go we're going in this direction to this point yeah My wife is super fit. Say that again. She is super fit. I saw that aerobics.

9:15Mike Minogue:I think I'm going to start running again.