In short
The hosts banter about being in a foul mood, a brand-new shirt, bad sleep from a street fight, and a dinner argument over ordering too much pasta; they also discuss bear facts and showbiz opening-night fatigue.
Guest backgrounds
No guests appear in the episode; only mentions of people at dinner (Sophie, Lucy’s cousin Kath, and “Rebecca”/interns) and the hosts’ wives.
Key claims
Bear attacks can involve defecating in the same area; opening-night energy drops off on the second night; “youth is wasted on the young” because Wednesdays aren’t for getting smashed.
Notable examples
ordering extra cacio e pepe/pork-fennel tagliatelle/chili-garlic/zucchini pasta; receipt photo in the group chat; a 3am “haymakers” street brawl outside the window.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOStarting the Day with Humor
0:11 to 0:45
The hosts banter about moods and the day's work.
“4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Hurt Aircare.”
Interns and Work Dynamics
0:45 to 2:16
Discussion about interactions with interns and colleagues.
“But then it was like, I get in there and it's fucking Kesey's doing his facts about various things.”
Dinner Tales and Arguments
2:16 to 4:50
A recount of a dinner experience filled with food choices and disagreements.
“I know when you're in a great mood, man.”
Sleep, Fights, and Morning Routines
4:50 to 8:00
Host shares about a sleepless night and morning interactions.
“I said motherfuckers, which I think is a bit more respectful.”
Theatrical Performances and Reviews
8:00 to 10:34
Insights on the challenges of theater performances and reviews.
“This is a man that's been married a long time.”
Wrap-Up and Final Thoughts
10:34 to 11:48
The hosts reflect on the podcast and sign off.
“It's tomorrow, you know, it's tomorrow's fish and chip paper sort of shit.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Dog It. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Hurt Aircare.
0:15Mike Minogue:Oh, g'day, fellas. Backbone. What crawled up your butt today, Jase? And died. What do you mean, man? What crawled up your ass and died? You're in a whore of a mood. What are you talking about? You come in here at three on the dot and go, well, are we fucking doing some work or what? It's like we've got an hour until the show starts.
0:31Keyzie:I'm here to do a job. I'm here for a, not for a long time, a good time. Neither.
0:36Mike Minogue:So let's just bang into it, fellas. A new saying from Jays says, I'm not here for a long time or a good time. I'm here for a shit time. Then you spent five minutes colouring his hat in.
0:45Keyzie:But then it was like, I get in there and it's fucking Kesey's doing his facts about various things. One of the young interns and I'm like. It's Dylan.
0:54Mike Minogue:He's worked there for three years.
0:56Keyzie:Can we just do the show, please? I know, man.
0:59Mike Minogue:One of the young interns. He literally came to hook a tickle with us.
1:01Keyzie:You're a sexual predator. You're a shocking bastard.
1:04Mike Minogue:For chatting to Dilly and asking how Lincoln Park was.
1:06Keyzie:You weren't chatting to Dilly, Keezy. You were chatting to Rebecca. Who the fuck is Rebecca? He can't even remember their names. He doesn't even bother with the names. That's what really gets my goat as well. He's straight on the follows. Yeah. Hey, did you know that when a bear kills a person, or kills its prey, then defecates in the same area.
1:28Mike Minogue:See, now that's something you've learnt from I Survived. It is, actually. After that show you've been watching. That's how you chat them up.
1:36Keyzie:It's fascinating stuff. And you know what they also do? Are you trying to now fuck us? Is that what's happening? You're allowed to say facts. Because you're keezying us. Because there's been two stories where dudes have been attacked by bears and then they scalp you. Like they rip the back of your head off so they can get to your brain. Yeah, it's good eating. That's fucked. It's full on shit, man. But what is wrong today? Nothing, man. I'm great. My wife walked up with me right to the door today. Do you know what I think the problem is, man? I think you've overheated. Yeah, possibly. Because you've got that undergarment on underneath that shirt.
2:10You're kiesying your shirt because you don't want it to smell.
2:13Keyzie:I am in a great mood. I don't know what you fellas are talking about. I know when you're in a great mood, man. This ain't it. Nah. Do I not sound like I'm in a great mood?
2:22Mike Minogue:Yeah, but you've put too much mustard on it now because the podcast is recording. And what I like is that you've got a new shirt on. No, it's not a new shirt, baby. That is a fucking brand new shirt. I've never seen that shirt.
2:34Keyzie:Fucking don't start with that bullshit.
2:36Mike Minogue:Why is that? That's so funny. It's so good to have two things. One is that you get fucked off by you've got a new shirt and then the other thing is you've had a haircut and it makes you angry. I have not had a haircut
2:54Keyzie:Actually I need to get that I need to remind myself to get the hairdresser's name Because I keep forgetting it So you need to put it in the chat fellas alright Could you do that for me Yes absolutely it's in the chat man How was your meal last night Really nice
3:09Mike Minogue:What did you go with No there was not a lot of drinking going on Me and one of the guests Sophie we had a couple of glasses each
3:17Keyzie:Oh, your wife's cousin.
3:19Mike Minogue:No, that wasn't Sophie. Sophie was another person who was with us. Oh, yes, another. And then Lucy's cousin, Kath, she had one cocktail. And then Lucy had one glass of wine. Youth, Jase, youth. You know what they say about youth? It's wasted on the young. Thank you very much. Why? Because it's a Wednesday and they don't want to get smashed. You're out and about, man. You get on it. You don't fuck around with that stuff, PZ. I'll remind you guys of that. Fuck sake. I will remind you guys of that, man.
3:46Keyzie:What did you eat?
3:47Mike Minogue:Pasta.
3:48Keyzie:Yeah, obviously. Fucking hello. What kind of pasta? Pasta la vista. Pasta la vista.
3:56Mike Minogue:No, so here's the issue is we had two of the house cacio e pepe, because it's amazing, and then we had a pork and fennel tagliatelle, I think it was. Very nice. And we had like a chili and garlic-based one. Very nice. And then there was a zucchini one, which was so nice. I was like, should we order another one? And everyone was like, yeah, that's pretty nice, eh? Yeah. And my wife is very like, oh, we better not. I was just like, fuck it, let's order another one. So I ordered it, comes out, no one eats any of it. You're a fucking bad boy. And my wife's just like, told you you shouldn't have ordered that.
4:26Mike Minogue:No one eats any of it except all guzzle guts. Well, obviously I ate it because I fucking ordered it. And I was just like, hang on, you guys told me to order it. And then my wife did the whole like, I told you. So it sounds like a shit of a night. So we had a whole lot of an argument. Did you pretend that you were going to pay for the whole bill? I did pay for the whole bill. Oh, yeah. And then took a photo of the receipt and put it in the group chat. Nice. I said, pay up. Pay up, bitches. Well, I didn't say bitches. I said motherfuckers, which I think is a bit more respectful. But yeah, dinner was great.
4:59Keyzie:Please, Pugson. We don't like that kind of language on the podcast. What kind of cocktail did she have? I'm not. It's pretty rare as well, actually. No, you can say what kind of cocktail it was, surely. I don't know. If you know, you don't know. The Horaki Beach Show, weekdays from four on Radio Horaki.
5:16Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show Podcast. Kath, you don't hear that very often in a young person. Catherine? Kath. Well, she's not like super, she's 33. Oh, old, right.
5:26Keyzie:But she's not old. She married.
5:29Mike Minogue:Yes, she's married.
5:29Keyzie:And she's looking good for 33, you were saying.
5:32Mike Minogue:A hundred percent. I'd say that about all of my friends and all of my relations. Everyone is looking good for whatever their age. Jase, you look fucking good for 39. Actually, Parks, can you beep that? You look great for 39, Jase Thanks, man It's a shame you're always frowning, especially today
5:49Keyzie:It's like Well, that's why people come up to me on the street all the time I had another one today Save it for the radio, man It just doesn't stop No, it doesn't stop, that's right
5:59Mike Minogue:That is such a funny thing to start doing on the show Is a whole break dedicated to someone telling you you look good Yeah, they were just loving it They were just loving the look of me And they just came up and said, man, you look handsome God, you're handsome And I was like, huh. Wow, that's such a cool story. Wow. So she was mad.
6:17Keyzie:But having said that, I had a terrible sleep last night. Who were of a fight in the middle of the fucking morning? Oh, was there? Outside or inside? Outside. It was one of those ones where it literally sounded like, to start with, 10 people were having a party directly out in front of our window.
6:35Mike Minogue:There were people out there drinking. I parked there last night outside your apartment, and I was like, holy shit, There are a lot of people out here on the piss right now.
6:42Keyzie:Yes, on the other side of the road? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yes. They love it. And then I realised it was a fucking horror of a fight. What was the problem, Jase? I don't know. It all comes to a head at about three in the morning, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. And it's just people screaming at each other. And then there's the confrontation. And then there's the douche douche. Oh, it does get to that stage, does it? Yes, often it does, yeah. How'd they go? just hoeing into each other and then they just both No sort of technique No it's just like haymakers Yeah shit and then they sort of stagger off screaming at each other It's good shit man I love it Staggerfoot Fist Fight Yeah Staggerfoot Fist Fight is a lyric from a Grinspoon song in an Australian band I've always liked that Staggerfoot Fist Fight and that's what that is isn't it Piss people throwing haymakers Good name for a band that Staggerfoot Fist Fight is good isn't it Now Grinspoon's stupid Grinspoon's not great Great band.
7:40Mike Minogue:So is it because of that bad sleep that you're in a whore of a mood? No, I'm in a great mood. I got up at about six o 'clock and made my wife a coffee.
7:50Keyzie:It was her turn too, and I went, hey, don't you worry about it, love. Old Hoody J's got this one. Absolute backbone. Are you listening to this, man?
Read the full transcript
7:58Mike Minogue:Fuck me. I'm taking notes. Yeah. You should, man. This is a man that's been married a long time. He's got to talk himself up.
8:03Keyzie:And I brought it in. She said, God, you're looking good today. Can you please... But she was talking to the coffee, and then she's like, oh, God, it's too hot. Yeah. It was quite hot, actually.
8:16Mike Minogue:How did her show go last night? Good. Better? Yeah.
8:20Keyzie:No, well, often on, you have the second night's often quite shit. It is. Oh, it's sort of a drop off. You have the high of the opening night, and then the second night is notoriously bad for dropping off again. Right. But she said it was good, and she had heaps of friends there, so that was good. Because when you're rehearsing, everything is about opening night. Yes. It's opening night, opening night, opening night. And then you do opening night, and then the realisation dawns on everyone. Oh, fuck, this goes for three weeks. Exactly. Right. Yeah. Exactly.
8:47Mike Minogue:So no matter how many plays you do, that still happens. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Isn't that interesting? It is.
8:52Keyzie:I remember when Johnny and I - Because all that nervous energy comes out on the first night, so you're flat the second night. Totally. When Johnny Brough and I did the show Atrocities with Sugar and Spice, It was a massive opening night, and it was such a fucking exhausting show. Everyone was telling you how great you looked. And it went fucking great guns. And then the second night, I remember standing in the wings just going, oh, fuck, we've got to do it all again. And I suddenly felt completely exhausted.
9:23Mike Minogue:Well, interesting enough, even us doing our comedy show last year, our variety performance, was a night of culture. The first night was very exciting stuff, And the second night, I remember being like, ah. I don't want to do two. I only want to do one. So are you, Joe. I would have done a week of them. I wouldn't have cared because it was fun and it's something I'll probably never do again. I remember you and Mania will end up doing a show to give me a record. He won't fucking do something like that. He'd love it. Fuck no. Absolutely love it. No, he wouldn't. You know wacky sort of bits and that?
9:52No, he wouldn't.
9:53Keyzie:And it's even worse like when, like I remember when I did Hamlet many, many years ago at the Maidman or whatever it was. And that was like a three-week run or a four-week run. And the guy that played the king, well, one of the main parts in Hamlet, got a really bad review. Oh. Like early doors? Yeah, like after the opening night. Fuck. And, you know, like the review was really good overall, but he got a really bad personal review. Who was that? He was an English guy. I can't remember his name. He'd literally just come over from England. and he was just walking around going, well, you know, usually in England we support each other in this situation, you know?
10:33Keyzie:I mean, I just feel like I've been abandoned here and we were all going, what the fuck? How does he support you? Don't worry about the reviews, mate. It's tomorrow, you know, it's tomorrow's fish and chip paper sort of shit. Right. You know what I mean? But you just sort of let him. We just let him hang. Yeah, fuck him. Just stew in his bad review. Well, he's taking a Kiwi's job. And so when you get that scenario, Keys in, foreign muck. You know, you've got to do another 30 performances. It's like, oh. When no one thinks you're shit. Shit, yes. Or you can just prove them wrong. And it affects how many people buy tickets.
11:05How long does Hamlet, I've never watched, I don't think I've ever watched any Shakespeare. Right. Neither, never will. I've tried reading it. Oh, we read Romeo and Juliet. Yes. How long does Hamlet go for? How long is that? Well, it was over two hours. Is it? Yes. No, that's too long.
11:21Mike Minogue:That sounds boring, man. He's done it right though, doesn't he? God, you're in a hula of a mood, Keezy. Okay, man, if this helps, if pawning it off onto me helps, and starting the show saying... I might get a coffee. Starting the show saying Keezy's in a hula of a mood.
11:33Keyzie:Trust you to fucking get into porn. Yeah, you sick bastard.
11:37Mike Minogue:What? I don't know. You said pawning it off. No, yeah, pawning it off. Here it is. At least he's still sharp. Hey. This is the big show, four to seven weekdays, Radio Horaki.
From the publisher
On today's poddy, Jase is in a hua of a mood so you're in for a treat.
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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.
Providing a hilarious escape from reality for those ‘backbone’ New Zealanders with plenty of laughs and out-the-gate yarns.
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