OUTRO: Phone Facilities

0:00Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggett. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horeke. Oh, g'day fellas. Backbone. Hello. You look like you had a tough sleep actually, man. That's the first time I've seen you look up. You've got bloodshot eyes, glassy eyes actually, maybe not so much bloodshot. No, I had a really good sleep.

0:33Mike Minogue:But you know when you've been knackered for ages and you have a really big sleep and then you're kind of even more fun? Yeah, yeah. But then tonight I'll have another one hopefully and be sweet. And then you'll be asleep tomorrow. That's kind of what happens where you go, oh, I've had a big weekend and you're like, oh, I just need to get to bed on Sunday. It'll be all good. You won't. No. You need the big one then on the Monday, but then if you've had a back-to-backer like you have.

0:55Keyzie:What I used to find was actually day three Day three was the day where I was in a whore of a mood Well that's today for me Yeah, I think all the chemicals have left your body And you're just sort of, you're running on empty You know what I mean? Because all the good juice is gone You're just like

1:17Mike Minogue:You should have seen, because today I had an interview with the Women's Day lady Yeah Oh, it's not a good day for you to do that interview, bro Are you going to go across shocking? Well, we had the photos and that taken weeks ago, which is good. But this was just a Zoom interview, my wife and I. And it was literally like five minutes before the interview and I was just like on the couch in a hoodie and track pants. And my wife was like, so are you going to get changed for this interview? And I was just like, ugh. In a hoodie and a hoo-er. And a hoo-er. You would have turned it on when the cameras rolled over.

1:47Yeah, you know me.

1:49Keyzie:Funnily enough, I had a similar thing this morning because I ended up driving my daughter to her fucking job. Oh, really?

1:55Mike Minogue:That's not similar, though, is it? I'm sure.

1:56Keyzie:Well, in the sense that I wasn't hung over or anything, but I literally rolled out of bed, put my trackies on and my daggy old sweatshirt and put my old daggy shoes on. And I was actually not meaning to drive her to work, but she was going to be so late that I went. That she knows that you'll cover for her. Yes, she is. When really she should be the one that bears the repercussions of her own actions. And you were talking about it yesterday. I agree. I agree. Laughing at the fact that she said she was going to get there on time. Yes. And yet she did because you. Well, she was 10 minutes late. Oh, that's not acceptable, Jason.

2:30Keyzie:But I was walking. You're a shocking bastard. We were both walking into town up to the car park, and I just caught my side of myself in a reflection. I was like, fuck, I look like a piece of shit. I do that a lot now. Like I've got three sets of tracky pants, but one of them's really daggy, and I actually chose those ones. You're a second ass. I didn't think about it when I went out and I went, fuck, I look terrible. But hey, who cares? Yeah, I roll up to the shops and my Ugg boots and my tracky decks and all that. I don't know about slippers in public, eh? Well, neither. I do. And you shouldn't.

3:03I think it's not right. But I was just like, I just got to take them off. I got to put on another pair of shoes. Isn't it funny how sometimes. I got to then got to put on another pair of shoes. The smallest thing seems like the biggest. Yeah, the biggest thing.

3:14Keyzie:Oh, look, that's the beauty, though. That's the beauty of. You wish. Slip-ons But then with my sketches I've noticed With the paving in town It's very slippery Is it sketchy? Jase fell down a crevice In between a couple of tiles I've got no grip I'm literally skating along With my sketches It's not good Sounds funny Just in terms of that I was sitting on the couch today Watching this great old Italian movie It was fucking really good I can't remember what it was called. Buzzies. No, there were no buzzies. It was all about this raging alcoholic. But anyway, I was sitting there and I was starving and there was nothing really to eat in the house.

4:00Keyzie:And I was like, I've got to go and get some food. Were you fuming? I wasn't fuming, but I just couldn't be fucked. And I sat there for two hours and couldn't be fucked. Have you had food since? Yeah, well, then I went, for fuck's sake, get a grip of yourself and went and got a barn me. Good job, man. Just down there. It was good work for me. But the idea. But it was just so ridiculous and I was so hungry, but I just could not be fucked moving.

4:28Mike Minogue:Man. Stupid. Now, if there's one thing for me that motivates me, it's food. Like, if I'm hungry, I'll fucking go and get food. That's the thing about Kesey, man. He does. Not like you, Jase. You hate it. He does hate food. I love food. He's a piece of shit, eh?

4:39Keyzie:That's not what I'm saying. Sometimes, I nearly did the dumplings, actually. I nearly went, fuck this. I'm going to go down and get some.

4:47Mike Minogue:I had noodles for lunch. Did you? Sichuan pork noodles, medium spice, wide noodles. From the place? The Ush. Yeah, yeah. The old Ush there. Fuck, it was good. Yeah, it was really good. What are they called? The Sichuan pork noodles. Okay. And get the wide noodles. It's an extra dollar, Jase, which you'll be unhappy about.

5:06Keyzie:My wife always gets the wide noodles. Jase, that is pure filth.

5:12Mike Minogue:That is disgusting.

5:13Keyzie:She prefers wide noodles, man.

5:15Mike Minogue:That is disgusting. What's the other thing? What's it called, man?

5:17Keyzie:Keezy, she likes wide noodles.

5:20Mike Minogue:So do I, though. You do, though. I love them. Funny story, actually. You can't get enough of the wide noodles. Actually, the noodles today were just a wee bit al dente as well, just a little bit. Fuck, it was good. Yeah. Fuck, it was good. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

5:38Keyzie:You know how I was having stuffed mushroom pasta for dinner last night? Oh, that's right. Ravioli. Oh, yeah. Yeah, with some fucking chilli in it, you weird. And it was funny. I was cooking away there and making a beautiful mushroom sauce with a bit of fresh chilli and garlic. And I opened it up, and it wasn't what I thought. It wasn't stuffed pasta. It was this little bag of linguine with this grody fucking pasta sauce. So linguine's the spirally one? No. Just the spaghetti. The spaghetti. But it was for one serving. And I was like, this is not what I thought it was. and I bought it. Did you call Kesey and ask him how to split a one-person meal?

6:16Keyzie:Well, fortunately, I made it work, fellas. That sounds about right. I was a legend. You're a backbone. It's always a happy ending. Jace is a backbone.

6:24Mike Minogue:The moral of the story is Jace is a fucking legend. Yes. But that's like when you just took a backbone shirt on holiday. Why did you buy a serving for one that wasn't even ravioli? And it was bigger than what - It's got the Bellamy's, man. I'm telling you.

6:35Keyzie:I thought it was exactly the same packaging as the stuffed pasta, except it wasn't the stuffed pasta. Except it was completely different. That happens quite a lot. And I just grabbed it and put it in the supermarket trolley there and fucking bought the damn thing. And also eight bottles of shoe polish. Yeah. Yeah, by accident. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was like, what? And they were like eight bucks a pot. So that's like 64 bucks a shoe polish. I mean, I got home and I went to fucking cook and I was like, what the fuck's all this shoe polish? I wanted vinegar. But I made it work, though. Because I'm a legend.

7:09Keyzie:I did forget the olive oil, though, fellas. And I went to cook them and went, oh, fuck, we've got no oil. Do you see oil press has gone under? Is that an oil? Yeah, an avocado oil. Oh. Actually, and an olive oil. It's a spinny one, you know. It's a Kiwi company, though. They've gone under owing$10 million or some shit. Isn't that devastating? It would be. It would be fucking devastating going under and owing$10 million. Yes. I'd like to go under and owe nothing. Just go under. Just go under and just stay there until the water fills my lungs. Yeah, and just keep swimming down to the sand. Just rise lifelessly to the sea.

7:51Totally. Yeah. That's so true.

7:53Keyzie:And just get washed up on the beach. Thank you. We'll be doing that over in Brisbane, Jase. Jase, there must be beaches in Brizzy. Of course there are.

8:02Mike Minogue:Yeah, I might go.

8:03Keyzie:Yeah, what?

8:03Mike Minogue:Just for your shopping woes. Yeah. My wife and I last week discovered something called a shared note. Yeah, we do that for our shopping list. Yeah, and it pops up on both of our phones. We use reminders. You use reminders. We do that too. So the notepad is on your shopping, on your phone, and you add something to it, and then my wife gets a little notification. Chris added something to the shopping list. You know, if Jay's had his way, look at the way he's looking at you now. He would have you burned at the stake for being a witch. Yeah, but he just wants to have a vape, though. Usually, like, if he wasn't in the middle of this bed, he'd be like, oh, Keezy, that's really helpful.

8:40Mike Minogue:I'm going to do that. Yeah, then he wouldn't. And I'm going to go to the doctor afterwards. And then he'd buy a new phone.

8:44Keyzie:Is that what I'm usually like with your suggestions? Yeah. Am I?

8:47Mike Minogue:Yeah, you're really open and, like, positive about them. I think I do have a note facility on my phone.

8:54Keyzie:It's called an app. An app. A facility. Is that what an app is?

8:58Mike Minogue:A note facility.

9:00Keyzie:I'm designing a new facility. I love the way you select words sometimes Yeah and it's probably a good idea Because I tell you what My wife's a shocker in the supermarket She is a shocker Do you have a list or do you just go on vibe Well you know We'll have this for dinner And then she'll spend 80 or 90 bucks At the supermarket And I'm like And she'll often come back Or she'll spend 80 or 90 bucks With nothing to eat Yeah. How has she done that? She just buys. She's got a case of the Hoity J's. Fucking random shit. And, you know, we need it, you know, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, oh, and then they didn't have that.

9:41So I decided to go for, and it's like, I go and do a shop for 30 bucks. Because you're a legend.

9:47Mike Minogue:I'm a legend. And what's in the shop? A box of crackers? And some shoe polish. Some shoe polish. Shoe polish. And the wrong pasta. Boom. There you go. That's how you do it.

9:57Keyzie:Now, usually I'm very efficient, but yesterday was not good. It wasn't good, fellas. I think I need to go have a coffee. I bet it was great, man. Do you need a coffee? I was just thinking, I want to go and have a coffee. Yeah, I think I need one. We're meant to be talking to someone next, but I think I need a coffee to talk to that person. Well, fucking hurry up. Stop banging on about it. Hang on a minute, mate. We're doing a podcast here, man. We're just trying to get up to the 10-minute mark, and we're there now. Jeez. Just go and get a fucking coffee and stop banging on about it, you two. I'm not going now.