OUTRO: Pube Chat

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0:27Keyzie:Yes indeed you massive backbones. And talk me through the hat, Pugs. Hey. I'm not happy about it at all.

0:36Jason Hoyte:You didn't say anything when you walked into the office today.

0:40Keyzie:Well, I didn't notice it at first. Yeah, see, that's not a bad thing. But it's a kind of boofy. Buffy? Well, how do I describe it? Can you say that? Yeah, you can say boofy, can't you? No, no, I'm speaking a word. It's like, you know those dresses that women wear And they've got the big sort of puffy shoulder pads Yes What are they called?

1:05Jason Hoyte:I know what you're talking about

1:06Keyzie:It looks like that and I'm not happy about it

1:09Jason Hoyte:On the top of my dome, eh? It's an old painter's cap That's what it is, yeah Yeah And it

1:18Keyzie:You know how I called you Jolly yesterday? Yeah, didn't love that It's really bringing that home for me. What, it's making me look more jolly? It's making you look like a very jolly fellow. Which, you know what, man? I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. I don't have an issue with that, you know? Yeah, but it's weird.

1:38Jason Hoyte:Thanks, man. It's a vintage painter's cap. I wanted that kind of hat for a little while. I was like, oh, I could give that a try. And it's got all these bits from around Northland. Yeah. And old print. Obviously I can read. Are you just describing it for the audience? Thank you, because it's an audio medium.

1:56Keyzie:Can I ask why you wear hats? Because you've got a luxurious mane of hair.

2:02Jason Hoyte:Oh, thank you. I thought you were going to say luxurious collection.

2:05Keyzie:I just have this urge all the time to run my fingers through it. You know what I'm saying?

2:11Jason Hoyte:There's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure we could work something out.

2:14Keyzie:Oh, yeah.

2:15Jason Hoyte:Yeah.

2:16Keyzie:By the way, you sending me that Scooby-Doo porn yesterday, not good.

2:22Jason Hoyte:Why?

2:23Keyzie:It was just weird. It just weirded me out. I mean, when I'm sitting at home and my workmates, you know, sending me Scooby-Doo porn. Well, the only, look, I'm like, no, I'm not. I mean, I watched it, obviously.

2:37Jason Hoyte:Exactly.

2:37Keyzie:Because I wanted to see what you were into.

2:40Jason Hoyte:If your family was home, I wouldn't have sent it. But you're a bachelor at home and, God forbid, I think about a workmate outside of work and just let them know I'm thinking of them by sending them Scooby-Doo porn.

2:48Keyzie:So what are you saying then that basically whenever you're not with your partner, you're Scooby-Doing and having a go at yourself? That is what I call it. Yeah, yeah. Is Scooby-Doing. Sure. Yeah. By the way, what is your lovely partner? She rang me last night actually. Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah. In tears? Yeah, well, because it's the first night you've had a part for ages apparently. It is. And she was pretty forlorn that she didn't have old pugs on her. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. I thought you were going to say forlorn that she doesn't get more nights apart. What does she think of your hats? She likes the hats.

3:22She loves the hats.

3:24Jason Hoyte:Right. She likes this one. It's obviously a bit more left field. But, yeah, she's always, I mean, she runs a few berets here and there, and she's chucking them on me sometimes. She's very stylish, I've got to say. I would agree with you. I would agree with you, yeah. Kind of wacky? Oh, I'll let her know.

3:40Keyzie:Well, you know, I mean wacky in a really nice way.

3:43Jason Hoyte:She's got a very unique individual sense of style. Yeah, I mean, there's been a couple of times where I've seen her

3:48Keyzie:and I've gone, whoa, what's going on there?

3:51Jason Hoyte:That's not appropriate, Jase. You know, just in terms of... A, that's my partner, but also B, you're in a workplace. I mean... And she's technically a colleague.

4:00Keyzie:I'm talking about her ensemble. Ensemble. Ensemble. Actually, that makes you look French. I'm down with that. I'd love to look French, man. Mais oui. Mais oui. Un, deux, quatre, cinq, six, sept, neuf, neuf, neuf. But like, my wife's like that. She can be quite out there with her clothes. She's got a lovely, like, I want to say understated,

4:28Jason Hoyte:but still individual sense of style. And this is from that I've only actually been in her presence a handful. Like, I could probably count it on my hands the amount of times I've seen your wife.

4:37Keyzie:Have I, when she was a, she was a real tomboy. Your wife? Yes. Yeah. Have I ever, this is a true story and it's the cutest story ever. Yeah. She was best friends at primary school with this kid. I think his name was like Leonard or something. Sick name. And they were best friends for like eight months. Yeah. Then one day they went to a pool and she put on her swimsuit. Yes. And came out and walked out to the pool and Leonard was like, oh, my God, you're a girl? Oh. And the whole time he thought my wife was a boy and they were best mates. And then he kind of ended the friendship. Oh, really? Because she was a girl.

5:30Keyzie:That's sad. After eight months of being like best mates. and then he kind of just sort of drifted off. I think that's sad. That is really sad. That is a real shame.

5:38Jason Hoyte:And you know what? I bet he thinks about that friendship. How hilarious that for eight months he thought she was a boy. I would love to have seen the outfits that she was running at that time to be considered as a man.

5:52Keyzie:Yeah, I mean, in her youth she was very wacky. Very wacky? Yeah.

5:55Jason Hoyte:But also I feel like it runs because you're a very artistic person. Yeah, that's true. And, you know, your family would get a little spice of that. In terms of, like, one of your other daughters that I've met, very, very individual sense of style. Very alternative. You mean my youngest? No.

6:14Keyzie:Oh, yes, she's alternative. I know who you mean. But also your youngest, who I have also met. Oh, you're talking about Millie? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's one of those really super cool people that can wear op shop clothes and look great. Yes. Whereas I could never get away with that. Not for lack of trying from your wife, evidently. I never pulled it off. But she is. My youngest daughter dresses like a classic Westie. Yes, 100%. A massive sweatshirt with heavy metal on it. Yeah, exactly. And then she'll, you know, dress up when she's going out and it's like she's a completely different person.

6:55Keyzie:It's like, wow. Yeah, that's good fun. How good. Yeah, but most of my girls are actually pretty elegant. Yeah. It's a way to express yourself. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

7:13Jason Hoyte:I don't know what it is about me and hats. Like ever since I was like very young when I went on like family trips and stuff, I wouldn't want souvenirs. Like I just want a hat. Yes. Like a cap. So you were like a weird kid. Oh, 100%. Really obnoxious. I can imagine that. Really obnoxious kid. Were you like a schoolyard bully? No, shit, no. When I was very young, when I was very young before school, I would just go off and do my own thing, very chill, very quiet. Went to school, was like, I guess, the jolly kid, if that makes sense. Bugs aren't the jolly kid. And then when I got to intermediate high school, massively obnoxious.

7:50Jason Hoyte:Wow. Just couldn't shut my fucking mouth. I literally can't imagine you being obnoxious. Oh, dude, like, just yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, thinking I was the cat's PJs. So what happened? What do you mean? Well, what happened between jolly, jolly little pugs on. I was jolly throughout most of the school, actually. Was it just puberty? Was that what it was? I don't know. You went through puberty? I have no idea. I don't know. I just, yeah.

8:14Keyzie:Were you late to puberty?