OUTRO: Shaggin n' that

0:00Mike Minogue:You g'day there, it's old Keyzie here. Just before you rip into this podcast outro, just a quick disclaimer. Don't play it to the kiddies there. Why not? Well, it's mostly about shagging and that. It's mostly Jace being a filthy bastard. Yeah, it's Jace being filthy and also muggy too, to be honest. Mostly Jace. So just a quick disclaimer. Jace and Keyzie. For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok. Or Raw Dogget. Four to seven every weekday on Radio Hoda Aki. Back bow. G'day, fellas. Fellas, I'm just looking past you, Jason. You've got these TV screens behind you.

0:38One is a photo of you when you're young, and the other one is the give it a... Come on, man. Old Prev's there. And the other one is us. When we first started doing the show, they did some promo stuff, a promo shoot.

0:51Mike Minogue:The black and white ones. Yes. The black and white ones. So that's five years old now. The issue is... Do we look like that? I think we do.

1:03Keyzie:I reckon I look older in that.

1:05Mike Minogue:It's because of the expression on your face.

1:07Keyzie:I fucking hate that photo, as I've expressed many, many times.

1:12Mike Minogue:Yeah, so it's you and a cheese cutter. The cheese cutter ages you. Ages you. You look like Del Boy off Only Falls and Horses. Great character. I do, actually. We've got a new one. Del Boy. All right, Rodney. I think that's better than Parker, though, so I prefer Parker. It's less offensive to be called Dalboy. Yeah. Dalboy's quite cool. He's the man. Yeah, we're not a million miles off, I suppose. Well, the problem is the marketing girl left and they didn't hire another one. Why do you need marketing at a radio station? What do you mean?

1:42Keyzie:I mean, we could, you know, my wife would come and whack off a few. Sorry, what? She could whack off a few shots. She could whack. She's a good photographer.

1:51Mike Minogue:So she'd come in and whack off a few of our shots.

1:54Keyzie:Yeah, totally, man. and she'd love to do that too. I bet. She'd be into it. Actually, we were chatting before this podcast and Mogi was accusing me, Keezy, you heard this, of having zero sex drive. He was saying I was an old Ram cast and that it was time for me to go out to the back paddock. Sorry, comparatively. Comparatively. Comparatively you have practically none. In my 20s. Yeah. Let's say late teens in my 20s.

2:24Mike Minogue:We might have had this conversation, but I'm 34 now. I know that I'm not as revved up as I used to be.

2:30Keyzie:Oh, for sure. It completely disappears. What you end up with is a memory of a sex drive. I actually... And you resent the fact that you don't have that sex drive anymore. I was listening to somebody today and I can't genuinely, I can't specifically remember where I was listening to it, talking about testosterone leaving men after the age of 30, just every year it gradually diminishes. But if you were looking at you, Mogi, right now, right, and you were sort of rating your sex drive out of 10, 10 being, hello. 10 being when I was 18 or 19. And one being when you go to sleep and you're busting that.

3:05Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Put a warning on this one.

3:09Keyzie:To one being. You right now, Jase. Where would you genuinely rate yourself? Okay. Compared to a 10 that I was, because I remember very, very clearly, and I just remember a very large percentage of your decisions being driven by how, when, can I, how can I, who. Yes. So three. Compared to a 10. Yes. Yes.

3:42Mike Minogue:But that's you single 18, 19, right? Yeah. So as you brought up before the podcast as well, Jase, relationships different, you know? Yes. You know? Yeah, yeah. So I would say I'm currently like if a 10 was me at my peak, I reckon I'm about a 7. Yeah. Jase is going to say he's the same. But if I wasn't in a relationship, I think I'd probably still be like an 8 or a 9. Oh, you're definitely more. Yes. Because none of it is free will. It's all hormones and shit. It's all biology driven.

4:10Keyzie:I would say, in all honesty. Here we go. Now, where do you think this is going to go? Okay, I think he's going to say five. No, no, I think he's going seven or eight. Okay. Yeah. Well, genuinely, what I was going to say, I would say my sex drive today is about a six.

4:28Mike Minogue:Yeah. Right, so just one down from me. Just between us.

4:31Keyzie:Between us.

4:31Mike Minogue:Not let neither of us be right.

4:33Keyzie:It's not, I swear to God, I was going to say six. Six out of ten, classic Jase. It seems to be my score at the moment. But I'd say about six Really? That's still pretty healthy

4:46Mike Minogue:That's good Yeah

4:47Keyzie:Because you still do a lot like Pervin Oh come on Keezy That's true actually Come on man

4:53Mike Minogue:No I'm good I reckon Dilly's probably He's like a nine

4:58Keyzie:But having said that If I were not in a relationship It would be zero No Really? No I'd say it was the opposite Go the other way Nah Nah I could not be bothered Nah you could be You always say that But that's not a choice. Your body wants you to be mating, even though you're an old-timer. Yeah, with massive ball sacks. That's right. Just swinging in the paddock there. That's right.

5:24Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

5:32Keyzie:You think I'd get a bit frisky by myself for a while?

5:35Mike Minogue:100%. Yeah. No, you'd definitely be, yeah. He'd still be. I genuinely don't think I would. But you've got to look at the old ass dudes who are still dating the younger chicks and being like – Oh, and – They've been alone and so they, you know.

5:49Keyzie:That is something I could never do.

5:52Mike Minogue:I'd say the percentage of people that go and see, I have no idea, woman of the night. Oh, yeah. That would be older. A large portion of them would be older blokes. Sure. Single older blokes. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, that would be –

6:03Keyzie:But I wouldn't do that either. Yeah, I wouldn't do that. No, neither. So – oh, come on, Kesey.

6:09Mike Minogue:What, me saying I wouldn't sleep with a prostitute Is like an outrageous thing Come on man I actually don't think, no I wouldn't Unless like Nah I wouldn't

6:20Keyzie:I sort of sometimes am like I wish I didn't have Still have a sex drive Well why don't you cut your nuts off One of the great philosophers Or one of the great buddhas I tell you what, your sex drive is as high as your partner's no I wouldn't agree with that I would not agree with that

6:43Mike Minogue:because she's like a 10 out of 10 now what I'm saying is your sex drive is as high as it's allowed to be by the person that you're with

6:52Keyzie:I was listening to Eckhart Tolle yesterday and he was quoting one of the great philosophers saying that desire causes pain or something in that realm and if we didn't have desire, we would have much less pain.

7:10Mike Minogue:But if we didn't have desire, I wouldn't do anything. Yeah, that's true. You'd have a lot less joy as well. He's a negative bastard. Oh, Eckhart, he is. He needs to get laid. I reckon he's got about a two out of ten sex drive. Maybe I'm a two, maybe I'm a one. Really? No, you're not, man. Come on, Mo, you're still a shagger.

7:29Keyzie:Well, as we've discussed previously, you're the filthiest bastard of all of us. I mean there's no argument about that That's true I mean Keezy and I were adamant

7:40Mike Minogue:Yeah no I'd agree with that Cause I'm pretty you know I'm pretty Conventional sort of I'm conventional but I'm like Don't take the jammies off

7:48Keyzie:Turn the light off I don't wear jammies

7:50Mike Minogue:I don't wear jammies You can't shag and leave your jammies on Just around your knees there

7:57Keyzie:Yeah your socks on Jeez you're a piece of work come on man at least make a try make an effort one time when i was really drunk well this is a