OUTRO: *Sigh*

0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Dog It. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Hoda Aircast. I'm just watching Jase across from me. He's got his headphones on there and then right before, just as that little sting there was playing, He pulled one of the headpieces back and started wringing out his ears. Right. To get some wax out of it. That's awesome, man. I was waiting for an Uber to pick me up and bring me in today. And I thought, oh, as I was looking for some deodorant, as I was looking for my wife's deodorant because I packed my own, and my own pits had started streaming.

0:43Yay. I saw some earbuds, some cotton buds. Yeah. Gee whiz. I must have gone through 10. Yes. Getting the bastards. I'm pretty consistent with it as well, but one of them was just not having it. Kept on going, kept on going, kept on going. Yeah. Just the one side. Well, there's a couple of things there.

1:00Keyzie:They say that those are the worst thing you can use to clean your ears because it pushes it in. Yeah. But I'm addicted to it. I love it. It's a nice feeling. But I don't go in. Yes. I just go around the edge. Yes, same. I swirl. Because you see some people where they obviously believe that, and so they do nothing. Yes. And you're looking at them and you're going, I can see the wax climbing out of your ear. Yeah.

1:27Jason Hoyte:Get a cotton bud. Do you guys feel like we're very prone to it? I mean, I'm prone to it because I'm wearing headphones all the time. And so it leaves it. What I learned when I went and got my ears professionally cleaned was because I wear headphones all the time, it keeps it warmer, which means it's moving around a lot more. Is that right? Yeah, you're more prone to it.

1:42Keyzie:Well, first and foremost on that, fascinating topic this. This is good stuff. Yeah, that's special. I have very small air canals, so I've been told. And so I'm constantly got the earbuds and, you know, what are they called, cotton buds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think putting one of those in your ear and swishing it around is better than coming. And that's how much I like doing it. I've heard that when you do that and you've got that in there, your leg starts going. Yeah, it does. I'm like a dog. Muggie's vibrating. I'm like a dog that's getting its ass scratched. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm like, ooh.

2:19Keyzie:Or a cat. What do you like? And one of the sexiest things that's ever, one of the nicest feelings I've ever had was one summer where I had terribly blocked ears because I was doing a lot of swimming. Ah, yeah. Swimmer's ear. Well, I guess it was swimmer's ear. Don't ever tell fucking Keezy that. I'll never live it down. And anyway, I was bad. I was deaf as a dodo. So I went to the nurse at my local medical centre. And she did the old, the candle kind of thing. And when it released, it was the nicest feeling. It's euphoric. It's warm as well, isn't it?

2:56Jason Hoyte:You've got hair colours. Yeah.

2:59Keyzie:And it just, I think that came in my pants when it happened.

3:05Jason Hoyte:I'm sorry, fellas. No, it's a charge. I've had it professionally done a couple of times and they use the vacuum now. Yeah, yeah. And it's the same thing. You get up and you can hear the breeze when you're indoors. It's amazing. What was I going to say? Now I've got drops that you put in your ear and then it lubes it up and then I've got a little water squirter thing that blasts it out rather than using a cotton bud. It's fucking Admin. But I just do it in the shower. That's what I meant. I hate Admin. I do it. But I said, yeah, bud. I'm ready for a holiday.

3:36Keyzie:I was always with eye drops. I can't do eye drops. Right. I just can't do them. My eyes just start blinking and going mental. I used to do them for years after I got hit in the eye with a skyrocket. So you had to do it like, fuck, it was a lot. It was like three to five times a day. I can't remember which. But they told you how to do it. It was really good. So you grab up your eyes and you open the lids like that. But you rest the bottle across the bridge of your nose so that the nozzle sits directly above the pupil. and then you do that and then you look back into the back of your skull and it drips and then you can't see the drip.

4:13But it's perfect placement because a lot of people hold it straight up and down and then it's no good. Then people are sort of watching to make sure they've got it lined up properly. There you go. That was the best thing to come out of being blinded by a skyrocket. That's a great tip though, Mogi. Thanks, man.

4:30Keyzie:Me and my mates, who shall remain unnamed, we had eye drops all the time, of course, because our eyes were so blitzed from being stabbed. Clear eyes was a real thing, eh? Yeah. All the boys had them. I don't want to name names here, but one of my friends, and I've told you this before, you just need to mention marijuana and he'd get bloodshot eyes. Yeah. It was just a shocker.

4:49Jason Hoyte:I have been known to get an absolute shocking bloodshot eye. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

5:03Keyzie:And yet then there's some people, you know, that will smoke a doobie and be off their heads, but their eyes are clear as. Yeah. What's that about? How does that work?

5:13Jason Hoyte:Always keep some eye drops on deck, man, when you're on a night out. You never know.

5:17Keyzie:When I left work last night, I had a hoity-jay moment. As I was walking to leave in the little corridor outside by the toilet there before the doors, there was this dude standing there, and he did such a hoity J sigh. He was just standing there on his phone and he went, to such an extent that I stopped and I went, you all right, mate? And he went, nah, man, I'm toast. Really? What the fuck? Obviously I didn't go into it. I went, oh, it'll work out, mate, and just carried on walking. But it was just the way he went. I don't know how you spell that but that should be the name of your book yeah it would be this with Hoity J the Hoity J story I've told you why because even my youngest daughter does it now it's a great stress release she takes the piss out of me all the time I'll be saying something and she'll go You know what I mean?

6:30Keyzie:It's like, don't you fucking start.

6:31Jason Hoyte:I think that's very nice that you checked in with him, though. I think that's very kind.

6:35Keyzie:Well, but the funny thing was he looked a bit stressed, but he didn't look out of control stressed. It was just, he just looked done. He was just like, I don't fucking know anymore. It's good to know you're toast. I'm toast. That's all I know. But there you go. Hey, fellas. Fellas. How good is this fucking weather at the moment? I love it. Bluebirds, mate, bluebirds. I'm saying spring is on its way already. Well, this is the classic, and it's funny that a man of your age would say such a thing. 43? This used to be a thing that would happen. Well, it happens every year, but you get a false dawn.

7:17Yes. And the false dawn is so good that you forget that it happens every year, and you get day after day after day. What's different about this is I put it in a different category. In Auckland, you get about a month of really proper cold, great winter weather, which is, you know, cool air coming out of your mouth, not windy, not pissing down with rain, blue sky, but freezing, you know, like you get in the South Island or pretty much everywhere outside of Auckland. So it's that. But then we'll also get that thing in September where it's hot. It's also hot in the shade as well. And you go, oh, beauty, summer's here early.

7:52and then it will fucking piss down for six weeks and it will not stop.

7:58Keyzie:Mogi, you are bang on. That's exactly what, and actually when I was saying that, when I was thinking that today, I was going, oh, it's feeling a bit springy today. And I went, oh, but it always fucking does this. It does. And I tell you what, of course we get the, can I say this, Indian summer? You can, I don't know why you can't. Can we look up where that came from? I've Googled it before because I've always wondered. Because I don't want the management going through my Google sort of searches and all these racist remarks. Okay. But, you know, we get that in March, January very much, and sort of April where you have this magnificent weather and then it shits the bed.

8:37Jason Hoyte:Yeah, which is about the right timing. And Indian summer is a period of unreasonably warm, dry weather that sometimes occurs in autumn and temperate regions of the Northern Hemisphere. Sure. Why?

8:46Keyzie:And southern everywhere. We get it as well. Yeah, I remember reading books when I was a kid. There was this guy, Fitzgerald or something, and he was sort of like a Mark Twain, but for kids. Right. And he was always banging on about an Indian summer. That was the first time I heard it. I like that. Yes. Yeah. It's very nice.

9:06Jason Hoyte:You know what I mean? Here we go. Using the phrase is discouraged and claims that it is disrespectful of Native American people. That's what this week's going to say. Have we got any facts there? You know what I mean? It's like we're discouraging it. I'm not telling you why we're discouraging it, but we're discouraging it because it's got the word Indian in it. Well, surely... What are the origins of Indian summer? And is it racist? Mogi, that's your pen. Is it politically wrong? The term Indian summer generally refers to a period of unseasonably warm, dry weather that occurs in autumn, especially after the first frost.

9:45Jason Hoyte:The origins of the phrase aren't completely clear, but it started appearing in American literature in the 18th century. American literature. There you go. So they don't know where it came from, but they're pretty sure it's racist. I think we're fine. Yeah, yeah. Fucking hell. Good stuff, fellas. Ten minutes just like that, fellas. It's just zipped by, hasn't it? It really has. We'll get into your mood on the show proper. Yeah, mate.

10:08Keyzie:I'm in a great mood. We are now. Isn't it amazing, though, how the show does that, Jase? Because you were in a hooah when you came in here. I was in a great mood when I came in. Hey, pugs. Yeah man Yeah good on you mate Alright What a terrible hat you're wearing Hey I'll see you as bastards I'll see you as bastards In a couple of weeks out there Yeah man Yeah whatever Yeah Fucking I'm in a whoever mood

10:31Jason Hoyte:For fuck's sake Listen to the Big Show 47 every weekday On Hauraki And check out the Insta At Hauraki Big Show Love ya