In short
A casual “OUTRO” segment from The Hauraki Big Show where the hosts banter about daily life—shorts ruined by tree sap, cleaning hacks, shaving/stubble routines, and an upcoming haircut plan (fade/taper, eyebrows), plus pride in a daughter’s practical exam.
Guests
No guests appear; only the regular hosts are referenced (Mogi, TZ, and Keesey/Jase).
Key claims
Tree sap can be removed with rubbing/isopropyl alcohol (or hand sanitiser); baking paper plus a hot iron is suggested for oil stains.
Notable examples
Sap-stained “favourite shorts” and a previously noodle-oil-splattered new shirt; discussion of a barber using disinfectant and offering eyebrow trimming.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOLighthearted Banter and Energy Talk
0:15 to 3:00
The hosts engage in playful banter about their energy levels and the weather.
“I feel like we should let Mogi get his noises out.”
Shorts Talk and Stains
3:00 to 4:57
Discussion about shorts, discussing stains and experiences related to tree sap.
“That's when you get oil stains from eating noodles and stuff on your shirt.”
Cleaning Hacks for Stains
4:57 to 5:57
Hosts share tips on how to remove tree sap and other stains from clothing.
“You shave, say you shave tonight Two days So that's two days you got there?”
Personal Grooming and Haircut Discussions
5:57 to 8:10
Discussion about grooming habits, haircuts, and the experience at a barbershop.
“I went in there, and I said, I want a number four all over.”
Family and Proud Moments
8:10 to 10:00
Hosts discuss family pride and upcoming events in their lives.
“Tapered sideburns, a fade with a bit of length on top.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggy. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horeke. Douche, douche, douche. G'day, fellas.
0:16Mike Minogue:Douche, douche, douche, douche, douche. Hi, guys.
0:19Keyzie:I feel like we should let Mogi get his noises out. What do you think, TZ? Well, that's just because, as I was saying, I'm just a little bit on bugger day. I had a shitter of a sleep last night, so I'm trying to get my energies up now. I feel like you're using all your energy. Nah, because I had nothing. Now I've got a little bit. Because I feed on you guys being annoyed by me. Do you? You must be so full.
0:41Mike Minogue:You must be full. Fuck, man. What a beautiful day. It is a lovely day. Aren't we blessed, guys, to be alive?
0:48Keyzie:Yes, very much so. And it's really heating up. I even wore my Crocs today. I've got to go and get some shorts, man. Yeah. I'm running some good shorts at the moment. I'm happy with my shorts. Good shorts. And because I've been playing golf with Keezy at the Y-Tax, my legs have built up a bit. No, not generally. Generally speaking, my legs have built up a bit.
1:08Mike Minogue:Can you just say I've got some new shorts that are really great shorts? Can you say that? Got a new shorts. I've got some new shorts, and they're really great shorts.
1:16Keyzie:40-J, best in the world, eh, number one. I'm not saying they're the best shorts. That's kind of what you just said. I just said I've got some shorts, and I'm really happy with them. And they're the best shorts in the world.
1:25Mike Minogue:Are they the ones you're wearing now? Is that what I said? Are they the ones you're wearing now? I'm not wearing shorts now. Well, they mustn't be that great because you've taken them off to go to work. Yeah, well, because they were dirty. Dirty bastards they are.
1:35Keyzie:That stains all over the front. Stains lead on that.
1:38Mike Minogue:I've got so much fucking tree sap on my favourite pair of shorts and I cannot get it out. It is like glue. Do you want to know how to get it out, man? Should I put genuine solvents on it, like paint remover and shit?
1:50Keyzie:In all seriousness, I would be tempted to go methylated spirits. What kind of tree was it, Keezy?
1:54Mike Minogue:I have no idea.
1:54Keyzie:I'd go methylated spirits.
1:56Mike Minogue:Yeah, because I've got meths. I've got prep salt, which is good for wax and grease and stuff. I'm just like, I've got petrol. Do I pour petrol on them?
2:02Keyzie:Stand by. Well, you know, back in the day when my girls. I've asked me old mate. Chat GPT. He's starting to talk to me like I'm me. Tree sap is a bastard to get out of fabric, it says. Is that what it says? Shocking bastard. Fuck off, it says that. It says that. Tree sap is a bastard to get out of fabric. But the good news is you absolutely can get it out, Keezy. Don't need anything fancy. I want to be clear about that. Rubbing alcohol. Isopropyl alcohol. I've got isopropyl alcohol. You have it around the house because you use it to make cannabis oil. I use it to clean various electronics and stuff.
2:37There you go. Or even hand sanitiser. Put paper towels under the fabric. Dab or pour a little alcohol onto the sap. Gently rub with a cloth or your fingernail. The sap liquefies and dissolves and washes normal. Boom. Or eucalyptus oil or tea tree oil.
2:49Keyzie:I've just had a memory. Speaking of hacks. Jase did this. in terms of sap or something really sticky like gum or all that sort of shit. Baking paper.
3:01Mike Minogue:Underneath it and an iron? No, yeah, and an iron. That's for oil. Oh, is it? That's when you get oil stains from eating noodles and stuff on your shirt. Yeah. And it still has those dark splatters. Yeah. Baking paper on top, iron.
3:13Keyzie:My wife was so furious with me the other night on that front because she bought this new shirt for me. What animal did it have on it? I don't know that it had any animals. I bet it had like a... It had shapes, I think, Kesey.
3:26Mike Minogue:A goose on it or something.
3:27Keyzie:And we got eaten noodles. And I got the spicy dumplings and spicy sauce and the chicken fried rice and got a massive oil splatter on my new shirt. She was like, for fuck's sake. You've only had it for an hour and it's already covered in stains, you filthy bastard.
3:48Mike Minogue:Useless.
3:48Keyzie:And all my shirts are like splattered with oil.
3:51Mike Minogue:Yeah, so that's where you need the baking paper and the iron Okay, good to know. Well, you told us.
3:57Keyzie:My understanding, because it was only a vague thought in my head, was that something was sticky like chewing gum and all that sort of stuff. It might work for you. I'd like to see you do it. You put baking paper and then a hot iron on it and it absorbs it. Feels like it would melt it all over the fucking joint, all over you. To know, to know.
4:13Mike Minogue:All I know is it's fucking annoying. I wanted to wear my favourite shorts today and I couldn't because they were all sappy. Oh, Kees, are you all good, man? You haven't had a shave either. What's wrong with that? You haven't had a shave. No, but I never do. You normally save your nose shavings for your Mondays. Jase hasn't had a shave either.
4:26Keyzie:No. Well, I've been having to shave with filming every day, so it's quite nice to look hot, have a bit of stubble action going on. You know what I mean?
4:34Mike Minogue:I couldn't be bothered shaving today. And also I was like, I've got to do the Kiwi Pong tournament on Saturday. Oh, yeah, you're going to run some. So if I shave today, then it'll be, I was like, so I'll shave tomorrow. Okay. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show Podcast
4:52Keyzie:How hairy are you, Keezy? How, in terms of your stubble, fellas, what sort of time frame? You shave, say you shave tonight Two days So that's two days you got there?
5:04Mike Minogue:This is the third day
5:05Keyzie:Oh, okay Oh, no, this is I think because your hair's so dark, it looks It stands out Yeah, it looks more, whereas Mogi's is kind of tabby A mottled Yeah, sort of ginger, white, grey Grey brown. It's all over the show.
5:19Mike Minogue:I actually think this might be, I shaved maybe on Saturday. Right. That's fucking ages ago. I just trim mine back with beard trimmers on your Sunday. Okay. And it just sees me through the week.
5:30Keyzie:Yes. You know. I do, yeah, I was quite liking running the little beard for a while. Not that it was bushy. But you know what I mean? It was quite, I quite liked it once I got through the itchy part.
5:40Mike Minogue:Didn't you say you're getting a haircut soon? Tomorrow. Oh, tomorrow's the day. Were you going to do it over the road here?
5:45Keyzie:No, at my local fellow. You're going to do it over here. You're going to change it up. He puts the black hair powder in your hair. Gel in your hair, the dye in your hair.
5:53Mike Minogue:But you're going to ask him for a fade, and he said he's not going to do it, didn't he? No, I asked.
5:57Keyzie:I went in there, and I said, I want a number four all over. And he said, man, I'm not doing it. You've got great hair.
6:02Mike Minogue:Yeah, but I agree.
6:03Keyzie:And then he said, you know, how about I just trim the sides and I leave a bit of length on top? Perfect.
6:08Mike Minogue:And I went, yeah, sounds good, man.
Read the full transcript
6:09Keyzie:Okay, fine. Do it. And he did it. And he was fast. Yeah, man. He was fast.
6:13Mike Minogue:Because you've got a busy day ahead, right?
6:16Keyzie:Here's a really – I didn't tell you fellas this.
6:19Mike Minogue:Stop keeping your secrets from us.
6:21Keyzie:And I don't know how I felt about it. While he was cutting my hair, right – You rub his nuts on your hand underneath the gown. Yeah. He had a comb, right? He walked across the room, and of course there's mirrors, so I could see him walking across the room, and he had the comb and did it through his hair. And then you sit on you. And then came back in. Nah. Is that all G? No.
6:48Mike Minogue:I mean, I don't give a shit.
6:49Keyzie:Yeah, I mean, that's... I mean, they have that thingy that they put in, right? That disinfectant-y thingy. Yes, yeah, yeah. They tend to, obviously, after each cut, I imagine, they do that. I think it'd be frowned upon. It wouldn't be common practice. No. It just sort of took me slightly aback. I was like, is it? I think with a family member, you would do that. But other than that, you probably wouldn't.
7:07Mike Minogue:Maybe because your hair's so oily. It's not that oily. He combed yours and was like, wow. Splat us all over your shirt. Look how much oil is on this. It was like dripping off. And then he puts some through his hair, and he had like this beautiful slick back hairdo from one comb.
7:20Keyzie:Yeah. But what I am looking forward to, because my sideburns are very 1970s at the moment, and I want to get those bastards turned up.
7:27Mike Minogue:I already can taper them right up. Yeah, yeah. Well, they're quite long. They are long. They're very long. So I want them to be. And that's the part of your head that looks the oldest, is your sideburns.
7:37Keyzie:Agreed. Yeah. When I get really booked. And actually what I really enjoyed about him actually was A, his efficiency, and B, he was like, what about your eyebrows? You want me to do your eyebrows, buddy? And I went, yeah, sure. And he was like, oink, oink. Because I can never do those fuckers. You've got to do them. You know, I've got old man eyebrows that sort of twirl out everywhere.
7:55Mike Minogue:When you go, can you say, Keezy reckons don't have sideburns, just get a taper. For my sideburns? Yeah, because they basically, no burns at all. But you've got to say Keezy reckons because he'll know who that is.
8:07Keyzie:What I'll do is - He'll know. Show him a picture of TV. You won't need one. Actually, do a video. Tapered sideburns, a fade with a bit of length on top. Yeah. Do I ask for a fade? I reckon you should get braids.
8:22Mike Minogue:So tapered on the sides. Cornrows. Like a number two fade on the sides all the way up. Yeah. All the way up. Oh, hang on. A high fade.
8:31Keyzie:Why are you smiling like that?
8:32Mike Minogue:Because it'll be sick. I always smile at sick cunts. Well, you had that high fade a few years ago when we did that Movember thingy.
8:39Keyzie:But isn't a fade, my understanding of a fade, is that it's degrees of? That's right.
8:45Mike Minogue:So it would be like three, two, one maybe.
8:47Keyzie:That's right. It's gradually longer.
8:49Mike Minogue:So a two fade is the shortest part of it will be two. Right, okay. Rather than a zero fade or a one fade where it really comes down to skin. So if you go two fade, it'll slowly get longer and then you have long hair on top. Okay. I reckon do that. And a tapered sideburn. Tapered instead of sideburns. Just tapered. Okay, yeah, cool. I reckon you're a gangster, man.
9:06Keyzie:I'm going to look fucking hot as fuck, man. I actually reckon it'll look great. Well, I remember I got a haircut a little while back and Jerry said to me, Jesus, that's taken fucking 20 years off you, Jase. Hell yeah. Right.
9:18Mike Minogue:And if you get that done and then wear your new goose shirt with the oil stains on it, fucking hell, look out.
9:23Keyzie:Well, I'm thinking too that maybe I get a bit of bling. What are you thinking? Like a really thick chain. You know, like the West Indian players wear.
9:34Mike Minogue:No, a really, really thin gold chain is what's bling now. You've got gold?
9:39Keyzie:My character on, yeah, gold. Outrageous fortune. My character on the show I've just been doing wears a really thin gold, and I just hate it. Right. Makes me look like a filthy fucking. Yeah, that's what we're going for. Piece of work. That's right, yeah.
9:55Mike Minogue:I'm excited, man. That went fast, man. I'm excited for Horty J's new haircut.
9:58Keyzie:Big day tomorrow, actually. My daughter's also sitting here practical. You have got a big day tomorrow. You're going to have a stressful day tomorrow. What time's that? Her practical. 10.30, I think. Oh, that's good. And you're involved in that? No. Do you have to drive her or anything? No, my wife's doing all that. She doesn't want me to be any part of it. Probably a good call. She's just like, no. Yeah, absolutely not. She's just finished her course too. I think she's done very well. Wow. She's right up there. Fucking awesome. You must be proud, man.
10:28Mike Minogue:I am very proud. Are you proud, man? I'm proud. Do you want to do a break on the show about how proud you are?
10:32Keyzie:I can if you want. With no punchlines. No punchlines, just genuine earnest. I'll go through all my girls and I'll just list them off. No, just one. Okay.
10:40Mike Minogue:Just her. Okay. Hey, listen to the big show, 4 to 7 weekdays. Radio Hodaki, good listening.
From the publisher
On today's outro, just a short back and sides, thanks.
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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.
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