OUTRO: Steamer Special [R18]

0:00Mike Minogue:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggett 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horeke. We'd better do a disclaimer here right from the top. This is the first time we've ever intro'd with a disclaimer. So if you've got kids in the car, if you're sensitive, just skip this one. Yeah, and the reason Jase isn't here right now is because he's currently in the toilet doing a steamer. So we've done breakfast this morning. It's our first time doing breakfast for a little bit there. So everything's a little bit out of whack, isn't it, all your routine?

0:42Mike Minogue:So Jase was absolutely clinging on, barely clinging on for the last hour and a half of the show, just constantly going, oh, my God, I've got to go to the toilet. I've got to take it down. The other funny thing for the listeners too is 10 o 'clock hits, we finish our show. Yeah, that's right. We then say we're going to do our outro, and then Mogi has a meeting over the road at 10.15. Yeah. But Jase is like, I desperately need to go toilet. Mogi's like, oh, guess what? So do I. Yes. I suggested we do a side-by-side. Jase doesn't want to do that because he said in his word, it's going to be an absolute shocker.

1:17Mike Minogue:It is, yeah. He said, I have got a massive shit in my ass.

1:24Mike Minogue:Pucks is losing the plot That's just

1:26Jason Hoyte:Just the way to What a way to describe it

1:32Mike Minogue:The way we're describing it Is because Mogi's going to have this meeting And he's changing to business Mogi And we were like You should just walk in there And just be very upfront I've got a massive shit in my ass right now So we just need to move this thing along We've got to cut a deal here

1:50Jason Hoyte:Do you guys ever get a sore tailbone From sitting down? I don't know why I've got a sore tailbone And the only time Literally crying Yeah sorry That just really caught me off the couch The whole talk I'm getting a mess of shit in you In my ass It's not even funny It's fucked up It's gross The only time that I was familiar With the sore tailbone feeling Was when I was in Vietnam On the hard young loop On the back of the Okay he's definitely delicious Look at the reaction Anyway Fuck I've got a sore tailbone From sitting down in there Which is rare Because I do it every day And you were

2:29Mike Minogue:And this isn't a joke You were riding bitch in Vietnam

2:32Jason Hoyte:Yeah 100 % On the back of that thing And going over all the bumps and stuff And up the hills And here comes Look at that He's got a bit of pep in his step Here comes old shit Hi Jase

2:44Mike Minogue:Hi Jase Go on muggy Don't worry man We've covered for you brother Oh, yeah, cool. Can I go? Now, which one did you go in?

2:54Keyzie:The third one. Someone's still in there. He was in there when I was in there. Third one from the handicap on the left? What, you were going at the same time as someone else? I'll let you know how I go. From the mirror. So don't use my one.

3:04Mike Minogue:Third one from the mirror before you get to the...

3:07Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, furthest from the mirror, not counting... Next to the handicap. Yeah, next to the disabled daughter.

3:13Jason Hoyte:This is real radio. Yeah, yeah, it's good stuff. This is what podcasting was made for. Under control now, though. Oh, jeez, God. All good, though. That was urgent. It was. Yeah, I've never seen you lose sort of composure like that when it comes to the toilet. Yeah, yeah. Because you don't even fart in front of your wife. No. In front of the nation on this podcast.

3:31Keyzie:It was just like my hot pot was suddenly upon me.

3:36Mike Minogue:How was your hot pot last night?

3:38Keyzie:It was really good, man. I really want to try it. It's so, I know I bang on about it. It's so fucking good. Yeah, it is me. You choose all your own ingredients. The soup is amazing, and it's just delicious. $14 last night, does it mean?

3:55Jason Hoyte:$14 is pretty good, actually. I can't really argue with that. Yes. Because yours is quite expensive. I do the buffet one, which means unlimited, and that's$35. But you choose. You can have as much of whatever you want, but they charge you if you leave food waste. So they have a sign-up that says, and I've never seen it in action. I've seen food left behind. That's good policy. Yeah, it is good policy. It's really good. But if it's 200 grams, it's like a$20 fee. And then if it's 400, it's like 40 bucks. That's a great idea. Something like that.

4:27Keyzie:Because that's what people do. They make guts of themselves and they fill up and then they go, actually, I've actually got way too much food here. I'm a shocker.

4:35Mike Minogue:Yeah, you would be. No, no, no, no, no. Let me finish. I'm a shocker for going to a buffet and then just wanting to eat like the pizza and all that sort of shit. Whereas my wife's eating all the seafood, whereas I don't really like prawns and oysters and shit.

4:48Keyzie:Yeah, I go seafood too. Yeah, but then you get gout, eh? No. And then you have to shit in the middle of your show. It wasn't the middle of the show. It was the end of the show.

4:58Mike Minogue:All right. You put all the show in there. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. What are you going to do for the rest of the day, Jase? I'm interested.

5:11Keyzie:Seriously, man. No joke. I was pretty crook last night. I had a headache. I had a bit of a toothache. I was coughing. I'd lost my voice. I was up. Sorry, is your tooth better now? Yes, but my head's very sore. But then got up at 11.20.

5:31Mike Minogue:PM.

5:31Keyzie:And I was just like, oh, fuck, man. And then kind of got back to a fitty kind of sleep and then woke up at two and that was me.

5:41Jason Hoyte:How do you go, Pugs?

5:42Mike Minogue:Because you usually wake up heaps as well.

5:43Jason Hoyte:Usually I do. Last night I caught up with a mate who needed to catch up and I had a couple of beers. Yeah, I had a glass of wine last night. I had like three low-carb beers and like a bit of food or whatever and then got home at like maybe 9.30. That's pretty good. I sleep by 10.30, I would say. I was asleep by 9.30. But then awake at 4. I woke up at 4 too, yeah. I woke up at four, went on my phone, burned my retinas for an hour, and then got up. Yeah, nice. It was awesome. That's good stuff. Oh, Mogey's back.

6:17Mike Minogue:You guys, I'd still be in there. How is your steamer, Mogey?

6:19Jason Hoyte:Yeah, I take a while when I do pews.

6:21Mike Minogue:Well, actually, Jase, I didn't have a great time in there. No, you didn't. And I've got you to thank. You got me to thank. Oh, God. I went into that toilet, Jase. Oh, why are you sending that fucking photo through? Are you fucking kidding me? I can see the preview. That is disgusting.

6:37Jason Hoyte:And my fucking iPhone. Did you do that? I'm not sending that message. Is that yours? Let's have a look.

6:42Mike Minogue:Is that your poos? Look at the time it was seen. It's not possible that it was mine.

6:49Jason Hoyte:I'm not even opening that.

6:50Mike Minogue:My bowl was clean. He is a sick son of a bitch. I can't believe you took a photo of that. Did you flush it? When somebody commits a crime like that, it's not mine. I'm not flushing it. Jase can go back there. Just so you know, I've deleted it for me out of the group. I don't need that in my phone. That is fucking horrific. That does look like a hot pot steamer.

7:09Keyzie:It's not. My bowl was immaculate.

7:12Mike Minogue:Can I say it's got Hoity J written all over? The old Hoity J calling card. Come on, man. What good stuff, guys.

7:20Keyzie:I was going to get some brekkie on the way home, and that's just totally fucked up for me now.

7:23Mike Minogue:Truth be told, I went into the disabled toilet, and that was what was there. Right. It's shocking, isn't it? It's disgusting. Thanks for sharing. Cool. Just confirming, tomorrow for the potty and next week, You guys aren't going to take a shit in the middle of the day.

7:41Keyzie:We'll see how we go.