OUTRO: Tax The Fellas

0:00MacBone.

0:01Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok. Or Raw Dog It. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Hurt Aircast. Oh, g'day fellas. MacBone. Hello. Yeah, great stuff. God, you and Pugs have got a couple of sets of titties on you, am I right? Yeah, man. Fuck yeah. I've been listening to your podcast. fellas. That's where I've got that from.

0:31Mike Minogue:But who's going to be the most voluptuous? Voluptuous. There's no M in voluptuous, man. Volup. Voluptuous. I've never said voluptuous out loud until yesterday. And it was wrong. But actually I kind of like voluptuous because it's lumpy. Someone keeps calling the hotline here, which only certain people have the number to. Can I answer it? Yeah, man. Okay, let's just see who it is. Hodaki Who's this? Hey there It's Jack Me off That's the one Jack Why do you keep calling The hotline man? What's going on? Oh this the hotline Yeah man It's the hotline man Yeah what are you What are you doing? There's like a hotline light That keeps flashing In the studio What is that light?

1:18Mike Minogue:My bad I've had a So I won the The dump delivery Oh I see You're pissed up now But Oh yeah Yeah, but my boss, I was talking to Zoe, I think it was. Yeah. Yeah. And we were trying to sort something. I was like, oh, yeah, because I'm working at my boss's house. Right. So I gave her the address, rang at my boss. I was like, oh, my God, like, there's a bunch of export shit coming through. And he was like, what the fuck? I don't want that. I don't want that stuff at my house. Blah, blah, blah. I don't want that. I was like, oh, man, come on. Free purse. Okay. Okay. She was like, and then, yeah, so we didn't pull through, but I was just seeing if there was a possibility to pick it up.

2:02Mike Minogue:Yeah, I bet you were. That's fair enough. Well, that's fair enough. It is fair enough. Did Zoe give you an email or anything, or was it just this number? No, it was just she called me off this number, and then I tried to contact her because my boss was like, nah, they can't come. So it was a mission trying to get in contact. I can't tell you what, man. And we can probably sort you something out. The only condition is you've got to quit your job because that guy sucks. Oh, man. I got a big growling from him, eh? Oh, really? What's up with that? Come on, man. The whole day I was keen ass for it and then...

2:39Mike Minogue:Yeah. I'm sorry to hear that. Do you know what the delivery is meant to be? It's just like... A couple of dozen beers or something. Do you want a couple of dozen beers or something? Oh, yeah. I'm happy for anything. Okay. We should try and drum him up some piss, shouldn't we? Yeah, bloody oats we will. Hang on a minute there. I don't think today we'll be able to. Mogi's going to go over chat. Jack, all right, we'll just pop you on hold, man. You stay there, all right? Oh, you guys are awesome. Thank you. No worries, mate. Okay, I'll just put him on hold.

3:08Keyzie:Yeah. I think I have seen. But wasn't that light the one that was flashing before that said we were off air, or is it when it's...

3:15Mike Minogue:So there's a light in the middle of every radio studio, and when it flashes blue, it means the station has dead air and nothing's playing. Right, okay. So there's three lights there, you see? Yes. The middle one is flashes yellow. That's when someone's calling a hotline. What, like a regular phone line? No, no, no, like a direct line to the studio. Oh, okay. Which is like you're used to, if you're teeing up an interview or something, they can get straight through all the, cut through all the, you know. Yes, all the admin. And then the other light, which is the red one that's on now, is when you're recording.

3:42Mike Minogue:Right, okay. So I don't know what Mogi's doing. He's going out there to tell someone to deliver some piss.

3:47Keyzie:Yeah, yeah.

3:48Mike Minogue:To be fair, what we could do is just put the piss at reception. Yes. And then he could come pick it up. Well, that's right, yeah. Maybe we do that. Who knows? Well, Maggie's coming back in. That could be a good option. We were just thinking, I don't know where you got to, but we were like, why don't we just chuck a couple of boxes out at reception or something? Well, I agree. Yeah, I completely agree. There's eight dozen sitting there. I wonder what the prize is meant to be.

4:10Keyzie:It's usually, I think, like a couple of dozen beers and chips and snack of changies. Toddy said, boss, Toddy's got it in charge and he'll get something through to him before Christmas. But I think you're on to it. He literally said that. So I think you're on to something. Just leave in a few dozen beers at reception. Yeah, I reckon. Jack, are you there, man? I reckon chuck in a box of Snack of Changies. Okay, Jase, are you there, Jack? Do you like$1 ,000 in cash, man?

4:34Mike Minogue:Oh, I'm not going to say no to that. Yeah, okay, cool. We're just checking. Just making a note of that. Yeah, just making a note of that. So what we're going to do, Jack, is we'll leave some beers at reception here, and you can come pick them up. When do you want to do that? Are you in Auckland? Yeah, yeah. I can pull through now. I don't mind. You don't mind, eh? Yeah, you're desperate to get on the hammer Twist my fucking arm What we'll do is I'll put you on hold And Pugs will give you the address to come pick up And we'll just pop a couple of boxes out at reception Oh, you guys are so good I love you, Jack Good on you, Jack By the way, we're midway through the podcast And so this is going to be included in it, by the way Yeah, I listen to that all the time Yeah, good on you, mate You have a good day See you later

5:14Keyzie:Yes, Buzzi's Pugs was going on at length about his winter coat. He's getting a winter coat, as he put it, and it turned into Buzzy Chat. I know, I know, I heard it. Yeah, so actually I was looking at my Buzzies today. They're all right. They're good. They're looking good. They're looking good in that top because it's so tight. Yeah, well, it's actually very snug because I wear it under my jacket now, generally. No, it's lovely, mate. Yeah, thanks, man. It's good. Hey, Jay, so I just need you to go into your phone there and just go and have a look at your messages, mate, all right? Like your text messages?

5:55Your messages, oh, sorry, and your Instagram.

5:58Keyzie:Instagram. Yeah, I was thinking about doing this on air, but I think people are probably over it.

6:04Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. I haven't received any messages on my Instagram. No, bet you haven't. So if you go into requests.

6:19Keyzie:I don't even know what that is. Should I help him? Yes, Kiff, you could help him. Because this is only meant to be about 10 or 15 minutes, this podcast. What the fuck's going on there?

6:26Mike Minogue:Okay, so chat. Oh, my God, what are you watching? The next parade. Requests.

6:32Keyzie:What are we looking for? He would have$8 billion there. Now, can you go through and there's probably somebody there called Georgia? Yes. Mahaffey. That's it. I was trying not to put in the surname, but all good. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. What about that? So Georgia is the general manager of brand for One New Zealand. Yes. And she saw the video of your shit phone and thought it was an absolute disgrace and has been trying to get in touch with you to give you a phone for quite some time. But of course, because you don't know how to work your messages, you've been completely oblivious. Yes. But anyway, all happy now.

7:09Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. Isn't it fucking ridiculous how Jase just gets given free phones because he refuses to upgrade? What's funny about it is it's because of your guys' outrage.

7:19Keyzie:It's not even my outrage. Jase is perfectly happy.

7:22Mike Minogue:I'm chill, man. I don't care. But the thing is, I'm actually really going to miss your amazing selfies, your blurry selfies. Oh, yeah, true. The camera lenses will still be filthy. Yeah. So I think the quality of photos will still be much the same. How are you finding that phone, Jase? It's great. it's you know

7:38Keyzie:it's just a fun as I was saying to the fellas yesterday I wouldn't know how to know 90 % of the stuff on it I just don't even know what it is you must have noticed it as something of a difference in terms of being able to watch your video just general yeah so what I've been saying to the fellas it's a lot of claret a lot more clear better picture a lot less cracks and a lot less duct tape over the screen yeah sellotape well what I thought

8:00Mike Minogue:honestly just then I thought Jason was going to be like nah I haven't noticed a difference just to like why not you know

8:04Keyzie:but I haven't really it's still the same thing I mean, what does it matter? But I'm very grateful nonetheless. Cake easy. You guys play?

8:16Mike Minogue:Oh, how did you go? Didn't you guys play golf the other day? Last Friday. Yeah, how'd that go? Yeah, great. I played really well.

8:21Keyzie:Yeah, he did.

8:22Mike Minogue:He did play very well.

8:23Keyzie:It was good to have a whack. We've talked about this, though. We'll play next week. We're going to play next week. Yeah, yeah. Next week? Yeah. We'll play this week. This week I've had a lot of house admin going on. Oh, yeah. Next week, let's go. Let's go for it. Especially if the weather's like this. Holy hell. Holy hecka. Holy hecka, yes. It was a minted today, eh? Beautiful. Not too bad over the weekend there, fellas. What are we doing for the weekend?

8:44Mike Minogue:Perfect, perfect weather to go for a little backcountry ride on your motorbike. Oh, I'm getting that. I'm following through on that too. You going to do it? I am, yeah. That's good. Yep. What I've finally done, because I had to talk to the accountants, you see, is I'm finally off provisional tax. Right. I've been on provisional tax for about five years. You know what that is, Jase? Yes. Yeah, it's a fucking absolute life destroyer. Well, you have to pay up front. In advance. For tax on income, which you don't even know what your income is. We exist. And they want it now. It's a fucking, I'm trying to work out, it's for people that are in business, it's not for individuals.

9:22And so we're in business, but we've just run a company, at that stage, we're just running a company and doing our work through it. So billing through radio and any film work or whatever. And then we bought a house and we thought we had GST, I think, money set aside, or tax tax money set aside maybe, and we wanted the money to put towards a deposit on the house, and we were like, oh, that's all good because capital gains, et cetera, et cetera. Market crashes. Yeah. But worse than that was we didn't know that it would put us in a provisional tax situation. Right. And so for the last five years, we've been hit with these huge tax bills every single year.

9:56Yeah. And so we're finally out of that. So weird. And head above.

10:01Mike Minogue:They make it so difficult for you to get ahead. literally had this conversation last night with a mate of mine we were having dinner and he was like hey what's your accountant's name we were chatting about accountants and then he was like yeah I just got hit with provisional tax for the first time and I was just like oh I had that like three years ago and you're just like oh you want how many thousands of dollars? like for us it's tens and tens of thousands of dollars so if you pay this now pay this now in advance for next year or I could pay it next year why do you need it now? it's none of your fucking business

10:31Keyzie:I've never had to pay provisional tax but what they used to do when I used to pay child support, right? You stopped paying that though, eh? Well, now because all my kids are like 50. And fuck, man, I will never, ever forget this conversation that I had. And so they do the same thing. They project what you have to pay in child support from your earnings from like two or three years previous. Right. And I had a scenario, and this is no word of a lie, where I had a fucking bumpy year. Young Hercules. two or three years before and I earned something like, I don't know, $110 ,000 or$20 ,000. Which for me, back in those days, was a fuckload of money.

11:11Keyzie:And these days it's a lot. And then they base for the year coming my child support on that year and that year I earned$39 ,000. But I had to pay child support based on a salary of$120 ,000. And the child support would have been greater than probably your income for the entire year. Exactly. And I remember getting on the phone and going, but I'm not earning that money. And they're not interested. Not only was she not interested, she went off her head at me. Yeah. About fathers not paying child support. And I was going, I've got three other children for God's sake. How am I supposed to pay? You can see what I'm earning.

11:52Keyzie:I'm not earning that money. Far out. Like it was stressful. Hey, make it hard, man. So why would you have to? It must be business because I know about provisional tax. Well, yeah, for us as contractors in business, so it becomes provisional when you haven't covered all of your tax of the year. So we were individual contractors. We hadn't paid for it because that money had gone to the deposit on a house. Right. We were like, that's all good, but we didn't know the repercussions of that. Our accountant didn't let us know that. Yes. So, yeah, it turned out to be a massive pain in my ass. But she's all good now, fellas.

12:26Good stuff, mate. Yeah, like you're paying off like 800 bucks a week on tax or some shit. And you're like, but I'm still paying tax on this year's income. Yeah, exactly. So I'm paying my tax plus next year.

12:39Mike Minogue:But then what I don't understand is your last year of business, do you not pay any tax? No, it's, what is it, your first year? I don't think you do any. And often you're not in profit anyway. And then on that first year, then they'll project it for the following year. But I don't see what the advantage is outside of, like, for the government to collect that money. I don't see what the advantage is. Because all you're doing is making things difficult for business owners who you want to be successful so that they can employ people and make money. Especially when that's just getting started. Especially when they're just getting started, yeah.

13:12Keyzie:Well, we were having that chat yesterday, weren't we, about GST and going, what the fuck's the point? Don't worry about it. Especially for sole contractors. And it's like, you pay GST for me, thanks, and then I'll just give it to the government. But you can claim it. You can claim it, yeah. You can claim stuff.