In short
A comedic “outro” segment from The Hauraki Big Show podcast, centered on haircuts, clothing/fit (seagull/stork shirt, sandals vs slacks), and playful workplace banter.
Guests
No formal guests; the hosts reference regular personalities—Keezy, Jase, Pugs, and Matt Heath (a right-leaning co-host/figure).
Key claims
Matt Heath allegedly dislikes moustaches (with a “nostril-width” rule) and is described as very right-leaning; Keezy jokes about looking like Adolf Hitler after haircuts and proposes a “Keasy moustache” to match.
Notable examples
Comparing Hoardy J to Parker from Thunderbirds; planning an Instagram poll (“Does Hoardy J look like Parker?”); joking about Pugs’ “business at the front, party at the back” style.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOHaircut Discussions and Reflections
0:45 to 1:30
Hosts discuss personal experiences and feelings about haircuts.
“I don't know, because I was just an anxious person.”
Fashion Critique and Banter
1:30 to 2:55
Light-hearted banter about each other's fashion choices, especially sandals.
“And then I've got my sandals on as well, which we've got to get a photo of.”
Criticism and Corporate Styles
2:55 to 4:25
Discussion on criticism from a colleague regarding fashion and corporate styles.
“I think it's because he's done his dash.”
Political Views and Personalities
4:25 to 6:10
Hosts explore the political views of their colleague Matt Heath and others.
“We're going to have to have a further discussion about Matt Heath as well because he's an ardent fan of this podcast.”
Comparisons and Identities
6:10 to 8:30
Hosts compare their looks and personalities with cultural figures, especially about moustaches.
“I just need a keasy moustache, and I would pull it off.”
Thunderbirds and Audience Engagement
8:30 to 9:55
Conversation about a character comparison and audience interaction through polls.
“I just don't see the resemblance I don't know what it was It's there Don't worry about it It's the same.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Dog It. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horek here.
0:15Keyzie:Sick list. Yeah man, yeah fellas.
0:18Mike Minogue:New haircut man.
0:20Keyzie:Yeah, well I mean by definition every haircut is new isn't it?
0:24Mike Minogue:Oh well jeez I'm just pointing out something awesome.
0:27Keyzie:Yeah it is awesome, you're right. No, you're right.
0:29Mike Minogue:Where'd you get it?
0:30Keyzie:At my local.
0:31Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah. It was good, actually.
0:33Keyzie:There's something very nice about a big burly man running his hand through your hair, isn't there? Yeah, 100%. I used to be quite - While he's kissing you? While I, back in the day, quite twitchy when I got, you know, my haircut. But now it's like - Why? I don't know, because I was just an anxious person. You're nervous, yeah. A nervous sort of jittery type. So even someone with a clipper was scary, or scissors? It was more the close presence of another human being. It wasn't scary. It was just my natural internal working. Skittish. Skittish. I'd have little shakes.
1:04Mike Minogue:Right, and now you're chill as.
1:05Keyzie:Yeah, it's quite nice. What's that on your shirt today?
1:08Mike Minogue:It's the seagull shirt. Is it? Oh, it's a stork shirt. I don't know. No, they're storks. Love your birds, don't you, Jase? Mogey's trying out his new fit today. Jase, have you noticed that? I've got my, well, this shirt I've had for a year and a half or so, Kesey. It's just a graphic tee? It's just a graphic tee, man. It's not got Game of Thrones written on it, sadly. but I can have that added. And then I've got my sandals on as well, which we've got to get a photo of. Yes. So you 50-50 on them? We'll get into details on that. Am I 50-50 on? On the sandals? No, I'm good as gold. You're in on them?
1:40I'm all in. Pugs came in, he gave me criticism, so we're going to talk about that on air. Wow. Straight away.
1:46Keyzie:That's coming from a person that wears boat shoes. Thank you. No, but also, that's coming from a person
1:51Mike Minogue:who traditionally is nothing but complimentary and positive. Well, that's the thing. I said to him, look, it's just a difference in taste. Is this the difference it tastes?
1:59Keyzie:As long as you feel good in it, that's all that matters. I don't feel good anymore. Oh, because of Pugs. Yeah, yeah.
2:06Mike Minogue:We can do that on the show. We can do that on the show, yeah.
2:08Keyzie:He wears sort of like business slacks with boat shoes. But he's very corporate.
2:14Mike Minogue:You know Pugs is very corporate.
2:15Keyzie:Well, he does this weird sort of half corporate and then tries to be funky and cool on top.
2:21Mike Minogue:It's like the clothing version of a mullet, like business at the front, party at the back.
2:25Keyzie:Like a radio clown.
2:26Mike Minogue:Yes. Yeah, like a radio clown. Yeah, yeah.
2:27Keyzie:A radio clown. It's like he doesn't know. He can't make his mind up when he gets changed. He's like a fucking chump. Am I going corporate? Am I going hip and cool?
2:40Mike Minogue:Or do I just flag all of that and just show up looking like a doofus?
2:45Keyzie:Yeah, man. I don't know what it is with Pugs lately. He's been giving me so much shit. And I just get to the point now where I just go, okay, man. I think it's because he's done his dash. He's over. I think so. Yeah, he wants to go to ZM, he was telling me. Really? He's heard there's an opening over there, and he's going to get over there. Well, I mean, you know, Hodaki. Any opening, he's there, eh, old pugs? Hodaki is a stepping stone. Of course it is.
3:10Mike Minogue:It's like when I applied for the ZM night show.
3:12Keyzie:Yes.
3:13Mike Minogue:Like, everyone knows, you know, I want to be at ZM. That's right, I forgot about that.
3:16Keyzie:I'm only here so that I can lay the sort of groundwork for ZB. You want to get on ZB? Totally, man. I'm just going to become a total right-wing nutjob.
3:28Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, nice. Yeah, that's good.
3:29Keyzie:Well, you're not far off.
3:30Mike Minogue:Are you saying that that's what Matt Heath is?
3:32Keyzie:No, no, Matt, he's his own man. You reckon? He's quite right-wing. That's all right. He's not, actually. He told me he's heavily left-wing. He is. And then I saw him, well, he's not, because then I saw him hanging out with eight members of the National Party.
3:46Mike Minogue:I think he just floats in between. He's a floater. Yeah. Yeah. Which is fair enough. What did you guys get up to here, man? I hear he hates you and your type, Keezy. My type? Yeah. What's my type? Guys with moustaches. Fuck that guy. Did he seriously say that? He's been going on about it all week. Fuck. What an arsehole. Not specifically you, but you are in that group. Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.
4:17Keyzie:Speaking of nice shirts, Oh, Keezy's really stepped out of the box today. I stepped out of the box, man. What have you been doing in the box, Keezy?
4:26Mike Minogue:Jack in the box? Jacking in the box. We're going to have to have a further discussion about Matt Heath as well because he's an ardent fan of this podcast. Yes, he is. He's going to have something to say about you. Well, I need Matt Heath.
4:39Keyzie:I wouldn't go so far as to say he's a fascist. Or a Nazi. Or a Nazi. Let's just say he's very right-leaning. Well, put it to you this way. He's got a very short haircut. Yes. Now, does that make him a skinhead? I don't know.
4:58Mike Minogue:I love Matt Heath is what I used to say before I found out about the moustache stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like I used to, he used to be, he was the reason. He was saying that a moustache on a man should never be wider than the extremities of the left and right nostril. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Far out. He's got some interesting views, man. Oh, I know. That's why he's doing so well. Because before, he was the reason I joined Hauraki. Yes. I was like, all the rest of those announcers, like Hoody J, Lee, all that. I could take it or leave it. Yes. Matt Heath. Matt Heath. And when I find out he hates moustaches, unless they're what?
Read the full transcript
5:29Mike Minogue:The width of your nose. The width of your nose. Yeah. That's an interesting look. Could you test that out, man?
5:36Keyzie:Just on that front, I've got to say, man.
5:39Mike Minogue:I love the idea of Matt Heath just randomly driving to work listening to this going, what the fuck? Yeah, exactly. He's also given up drinking. Do you know that about me? Yeah, yeah. And do you know who else doesn't drink? Probably a lot of people.
5:50Keyzie:Donald Trump. Oh, yeah. So no more. Just on the whole Hitler thing, I can't help but notice when I get a haircut, you know, when they fuck around. I look so like Adolf Hitler. It's really quite scary. The way my hair sits, when they sort of flatten it all down, I go, oh, my God. I just need a keasy moustache, and I would pull it off.
6:13Mike Minogue:No, the keasy moustache is not a Hitler moustache. It's completely the wrong thing to have taken out of it Very close No it isn't To be fair Adolf Hitler he would tower over you
6:22Keyzie:Yeah he would he was a big bastard wasn't he 5 '7 5 '8 Yeah I'm the same height as him as well
6:29Mike Minogue:Do you know I sent Pugs I sent Pugs a thing last night And I was like I don't know why I realised it But I saw Have you seen Do you remember what Parker looks like of Thunderbirds Yes I was like that looks exactly like Hoardy J fucking hell and I was like I don't know when we're going to use it haha that's a shocker I don't know when we're going to use it unbelievably Jase that's not a compliment you know and he is a he's got a real deviant look to him isn't he really old looking he's got a real um filth he's got a rubbery face picture Hoity J driving his car to work 100 % let's have a look
7:11Keyzie:I gotta see oh come on Oh, man. I don't have massive bulbous cheeks. To be fair, head tower over you as well. Can you play? That's nothing like me. I have no idea if YouTube will be able to see this. Oh, we're just putting this. We're just going to zoom in. Have you got a higher clarity image than that? I don't know. What's his name there? Parker Thunderbirds. Why don't you edit in a good little picture there, Pugs? That'll give you something else to do. Yeah, good idea, mate. When you're doing fuck all. Yeah, good stuff. I saw a photo of him and I was like, oh my God. I get compared to a lot of people.
7:49Keyzie:Well, the only reason I get compared to him. So do I. That one is not accurate. Others I look at and I go, yeah, no, I see it. I see it, but that one I don't see it.
7:57Mike Minogue:How about this? We'll put it to bed. We'll run a poll on our Instagram story. And just say. And just say, does Hoidi J look like Parker from Thunderbirds? I mean, you cannot say that that does not look like Jase.
8:10Keyzie:So is the big poll today that
8:13Mike Minogue:Does Jase look like Parker from Thunderbirds? Is this Jase? Or is this Parker from Thunderbirds? Come on, man I reckon that's the poll And then if they vote yes Then you have to refer to Mogi as M 'lady M 'lady? Oh, that is gold Look at that Oh, look at that
8:30Keyzie:I just don't see the resemblance I don't know what it was It's there Don't worry about it It's the same. Nah, it's not there. It's just a joke. Everybody gets it, man.
8:39Mike Minogue:I just think it's such an interesting looking character. Parker. I'm just looking at lots of shots of Parker. This is really good. It's good stuff.
8:50Keyzie:So is that our big poll today or your leather sandals with slacks? Probably leather sandals while we're on it. I reckon it's just a little bonus thing.
8:57Mike Minogue:We just chuck on the story. Yeah, we can chuck it on. Does Hoity J look like Parker? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah. It should lead the show. And then is the caption for this podcast, is it Hoardy J New Lid Special? Or? Or Matt Heath is Hitler, question mark? Or Hoardy J is Parker? Yeah, it's a toughie. It's a toughie. I think you've got to leave pugs for those big decisions. Yeah, yeah, he knows which ones to do.
9:22Keyzie:Yeah, well, he'll be fuming after we win him this afternoon, so I don't try. And I always come out worst in that regard. Either me or you will get the raw end of that, Keezy. Of pugs?
9:34Mike Minogue:Yeah, 100%. Why is that? Because he always finds...
9:39Keyzie:Is that what's this on? The title of the potties? He edits. I've never seen that. He edits in such a way to make it look worse than it is or sound worse than it is.
9:47Mike Minogue:Well, yeah. Most of the time it's pretty true to what's been spoken. Shit, is that 10 minutes? Where did that go? Flies by, man. Tell you what, four minutes on Hoody Joe's haircut, five minutes on Matt Heath Nazi Jack. It's gone. It's gone Bonus couple of Thunderbirds It's all over I should put out Matt He's probably got a right of reply on this So he's welcome to come down here Yeah Do the potty And explain the whole stuff Open invitation as always Matty Yeah yeah Wow Hey listen to the big show man Four to seven weekdays Radio Votup Oh yeah Good listening
From the publisher
On today's poddy, we're sorry, Matt.
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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.
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