OUTRO: The Biggest Poll

0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggett. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horeke. Bye bye. G'day fellas. Are we nailing that still?

0:20Keyzie:Broth's hot man. Yeah we've just been given a new place that's just opened up in the courtyard right next to the offices here at NZME. and they specialise in juices and soups and, well, not soups, broths. This is a broth. And they've given us, what is it, a turmeric, ginger and chicken broth. Broth. It's good stuff. It's like this bloody good idea to have going into winter. Bloody good idea. Really good idea. Well done, man. Now, if they partnered it with a stick mag, then we'll be talking.

0:51Mike Minogue:Turmeric's annoying, I guess, when you make a mess with turmeric. Fucking tansy. I very, really use turmeric. In fact, I never. You should, Moogie.

0:59Keyzie:It's very good for inflammation. Oh, inflammation of the... Of just your bodily parts. Your penis.

1:08Mike Minogue:Oh, thanks, Keezy. Honker?

1:09Keyzie:What were you thinking? Doesn't seem to affect me there. Nah. Though I did once have a yellow erection. Oh, yeah, jaundice. Yeah, just... I don't know. Nah, come on. I just can't even the arse going then.

1:23Mike Minogue:No, not on this one. This is being filmed for YouTube in this one. Fellas. Or as you call it, poo tube, Keezy.

1:30Keyzie:No, I don't. My wife. My wife. My wife. Gave blood today. Gave. My wife gave blood. And here's the thing. She couldn't do it for ages. Because she was over in England when they had mad cow disease. And she's one of those people that loves this sort of shit. Did she have mad cow disease? She didn't have it, no. You were saying that that's her nickname at home.

1:57Mike Minogue:Yeah. I was trying to figure out a way to make that joke without being too offensive. I might. You're saying that your wife's a mad cow.

2:05Keyzie:Now that I realise that this is going on YouTube, I might change direction here. Why? Nobody watches it, don't worry about it. Yeah, well, that's true. Why don't we discuss? How come it's not growing on YouTube, Keezy? Can you help me with that?

2:16Mike Minogue:It is growing on YouTube, man. It's fucking going great guns, as Jase would say. Fill your boots, man. Yeah. It gets about 500 views. Well, I guess it's because we don't do it every day. A couple of likes. There it is. Also the - A couple of likes. The content's pretty average too. Oh, the content's fucking shit. It's a shit house. Yeah. Should we discuss last night? Okay. In a way that's delicate, that won't freak Pugs out? Pugs are just going to have to suck it up. And he can just eat it out. Eat it out. It's bad. So just before the show last night, I was thinking about it on the way here. I feel like we should address it because it's funny.

2:50Mike Minogue:But we'll do it in a very professional - We can do whatever we want, Kesey.

2:54Keyzie:Yeah, I mean - You don't have to explain yourself to him. No, I do. I feel like I do. Pugs will just have to live with it, man. He does what we say. No, he doesn't. Have you ever heard the word talent? That's what we are. Not around here. And Pugs, if he doesn't like it, he can come and have a word to the talent.

3:12Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. So last night, right, we have this meeting before the show, the radio show, and it's hey for the day in lieu which is coming up, raising money and awareness for bowel cancer. We're doing it up the Skytower, very exciting. First break. Our boss said, now we need to point out that Pugsun was leading this meeting. And our boss, and you went there for this Pugsun, Toddy, Aussie Toddy the Mad Prick is what his nickname is around the joint. And he said that Pugs has been working on it all day. That's what he said.

3:52And that's not a word of a lie. That's what he said. Did he actually? He did. And then I also said that he was using it, that you were using the whiteboard pugs because he says he uses the whiteboard, so it was nice to see somebody else use it. Yes, he had massive whiteboard action. The whiteboard with lots of stuff written up there.

4:07Mike Minogue:Was that you, Pugs? I wrote it up because it seemed very convoluted and it was very last minute and I wanted it to be clear. And it was last minute. That was the interesting thing. So on the way into work, we get a text, blah, blah, blah. I got this thing with the Sky Tower. Great. Come and have a meeting. Pugs isn't there Todd says Hey Pugs have been working Really hard on those fellas All day And he's been on the whiteboard So what happened was Basically it was like Hey Can you integrate into the show The fact that we're going to Light the Sky Tower up

4:35Keyzie:Right

4:36Mike Minogue:We're like yeah cool And maybe it's a big poll Because the person Who lights the Sky Tower up Will also get to wear A wacky costume You're dressed up like a building And I'll be honest with you It's really funny It was really really funny I would have been happy To wear that Yeah because it's so silly It was so stupid And then right Literally 30 seconds as we're about to go live on air we're about to do the big poll who has to wear the costume and push the button we were on air and Pugs was on the phone to the guy and when we were on air that's when we found out that we didn't get to do that anymore as we were live on air we were like shit just give us a thumbs up or a thumbs down Pugs and then as we were on air Pugs is on the phone he makes the executive decision which is fair enough to go no can do on the costume fellas which meant we were then doing a big poll We got some admin coming from the other end.

5:22Mike Minogue:Yes, that's right, which is pretty standard. At that point, I thought that was the end of the big poll. Yeah, same. Then we got the thumbs down. The thumbs down, but then we still was like, okay, so we're going to do the big poll. It just turned into who gets to push the button? Vote on the Instagram there. And all of us, after we went off air, we were just like, no one gives a fuck who pushes the button. It's all about the costume.

5:45Keyzie:I will say. But I thought it was funny in the end. It ended up being really funny. I will say that Pugs just loved his Julius Caesar moment of the thumbs down, didn't he? He was all, he was like, power, power. Because the guy was saying it was sweet as well. Yeah, he was saying it's fine, and Pugs was like, you know what? Fuck that, man. Thumbs down. He dies. Neap. Yeah, and it was funny in the end. But one of the lamest, certainly the lamest big pole of all time.

6:19Mike Minogue:So if you're listening and you're like, I literally don't care about this big pole, just know that. We felt the same way. Because it's cool. We felt the same way. Lighting up the Sky Tower is cool. A big pole as to who gets to do it. Yeah, who gets to push the buttons. It's hard for anybody to get passionate about that.

6:34Keyzie:I hope Pornie J pushes the button. I don't know what you guys are talking about. I was fizzing, man. Were you? I was so excited. And I got to wear the hat. That was funny. The Sky Tower hat.

6:47Mike Minogue:That was the funniest part. On the way out, there was a hat sitting there. We were just like, should we make out like I have to wear this hat when you do it? Chug it on already, Jay. Let's go, mate. And it suited you down to the ground, I have to say. It was great, wasn't it? A little fedora with a feather in it. I looked like Robin Hood. Yeah, you did. I don't know about Robin Hood.

7:03Keyzie:A very camp Robin Hood. Yeah.

7:07Mike Minogue:It's gross. You're going to have to beep that.

7:11Keyzie:Well, I was going to get into some wife chat here, but we've sort of run out of time. Maybe I'll do it on the show. We've got time. No, it's not something I want to rush.

7:17Mike Minogue:Why are you scared of your wife?

7:19Keyzie:I'm not scared of her, man.

7:21Mike Minogue:Like, surely you're not being, like, it's just having a bit of fun, right?

7:24Keyzie:Well, this is the thing. I was having a bit of fun with her today on the old chat, and she didn't take it as fun. It's because your fun is just being annoying. But that is fun. But that is fun. But I wasn't actually being annoying. I was being sexy.

7:40Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. Okay, sounds annoying.

7:41Keyzie:Yeah, that sounds gross.

7:42Mike Minogue:That sounds real gross.

7:43Keyzie:Yeah, I suppose it is pretty gross, really, isn't it? What are you doing? Do you think? Can I read it? You know, well, I was going to read it out. 100%. But I'll do it on the show. Even better. I'll get the music ready. Even better.

7:55Mike Minogue:See how much game old hoody Jay's got. Should we all send a sexy text to our wife and see who gets the best reply? Oh, God.

8:03Keyzie:It's not sexy. It was jokes.

8:06Mike Minogue:I reckon we should all send the same text to our wives at the same time that says, hey, how about you and me tonight? Or something like that. Wink, wink. And then just see who gets the best response. I think that would be funny.

8:19Keyzie:I've already sort of blown my kind of chances today. It would probably be funny, but my wife probably wouldn't think it was funny. That would be the issue. Yeah, right. And I know how committed we are to not offending them. Well, my wife's just replied to, you know. Why don't we just call them up and talk, you know.

8:38Mike Minogue:Talk filth. Yeah, but don't let them know that they're live on air.

8:41Keyzie:I said to my wife, Ria, a little conversation. and I said, well, but thank you, you've just given me some good content. And she was like, well, I'm nothing if not good content, upside down smiley face. Yeah, that's fine. That's good. Fair face, she's gutted. That's great. She's gutted. That's her saying, yeah. I might as well not even go home tonight. You know what I'm saying, fella? I wouldn't be surprised if she just went, you know, fuck you, man. I don't know why you should reward her.