OUTRO: The Fiji Special

0:00Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggett 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horeke. Oh, g'day fellas. Here he is. G'day Jase. Here I am. Here he is. I got lost there for a while but then I found myself here. Yeah, ma 'am. I tell you what, fellas, we're here in Fiji, and what a salubrious, magnificent establishment this place is. I mean, Fiji in and of itself is beautiful, but this place is next level. It is. It's too good for us.

0:38Mike Minogue:Yes. It's way too good for us. Well, it's not too good for us yet, but soon it will be. But I bet there'll be lots of people that it's too good for. I saw a lot of Australians out there. Oh, it's too good for them. And you can only imagine it's going to go off the rails for them.

0:51Keyzie:Oh, yeah, totally. I'm amazed that they're even allowed in here. I mean, that's not racist, is it? No. No, no, that's all good. That's all G. And I'm staring across the little desk here, and Mogi's got himself a massive coconut drink. What is that particular combo there that you're running, Mogi? Well, it's making my head quite hot, so that's normally a precursor to an effect on the speech. But what it is, it's an entire coconut with a head lopped off it. And then it had, well, the gentleman asked me if I'd like it strong or not, and it seemed rude to say no. So I think it's pretty much just a lot of rum and some coconut water in there.

1:34And then he decorated it with a bit of pineapple, one cherry, and something else. And, yeah, it's good. She's strong.

1:43Mike Minogue:I tasted it. It's like someone just lopped the head off a coconut, tipped all the water out and then just tipped rum into it. Yeah, okay. And then gave it to old Mogey. He asked me if I wanted five-year-old, seven-year-old, or 15-year-old rum. Right. And I just said, whatever's the cheapest. Yeah, yeah. I don't need 15-year-old rum and a coconut. If you're drinking it out of a coconut, it doesn't have to be fair. It doesn't have to be fair.

2:05Keyzie:Give me Captain Morgan. Which one has the highest alcohol content on it? Responsibly, of course. Of course. Well, you fellas were doing that. I went for a quick plunge in the surf. and boy, oh, the tropical waters of the Pacific Islands. I tell you, fellas, it takes me back. It really does. We saved the lives for the show. Oh, okay.

2:26Mike Minogue:Well, what about? Why aren't you wearing your matching shirt with us? It's really, I just understand.

2:32Keyzie:It is so funny that Keith did this. Well, I'll tell you why, because I had a T-shirt underneath it and when we got to the airport, after we'd done all the photos, et cetera, I was actually getting hot, so I took it off.

2:44Mike Minogue:So Jase would rather walk around with a Brooke Fraser T-shirt than to wear his cool Fijian shirt that we've all got that are all matching.

2:51Keyzie:Well, actually, it was chafing my nipples, if I'm being honest. I think it's the material.

2:55Mike Minogue:How is it chafing your nipples when you've got a T-shirt?

2:56Keyzie:Well, I had taken the T-shirt off and then I put the shirt back on.

3:00Mike Minogue:Is Pug's wearing his? No, but he's not part of the big three. And also, he's been fat out. He's not part of the main big three who are broadcasting and he'll be taking photos of us and you're going to have a Brooke Fraser T-shirt on.

3:11Keyzie:I'll tell you what. just for Keezy because he's so wound up about it. I'll put it on for him, okay?

3:17Mike Minogue:I want you to look like you're a part of the team enjoying yourself. I know you're not and I know you hate us. Keezy! Oh, God. Nah, since I got detained, well, Puck just did and I sort of held his hand through it. Just what I need to do is get the show done and then I'll be chill. Yeah, you've been pretty uptight to be fair to you. But a lot of it is from a lack of food which I was suffering at the airport. And I was like, I'm good at the moment, but if I don't eat and I just had in my mind that it was an hour drive that we were going to have to endure, while also not knowing how long we were going to have to wait for you guys, two hours I needed to get some food in me so I've eaten two chicken wraps from the local airport and everybody started banging on like something's going to go terribly wrong with me.

4:03I'd be surprised they cooked it fresh on the spot Oh really? In front of you? In front of me and absolutely delicious, the best airport food I've ever had. But, Keezy, I saw you hit the wall with the food. It's like at that point you just need some food in you.

4:18Mike Minogue:I need food too. And then also I knew that because I was like, okay, we're going to get food and then we'll meet back up with Pugs. So I saw where Pugs was, got on the Wi-Fi so I could communicate and then Jace went one way, Mike went the other way and I was just like, I have no idea what's going on.

4:33Keyzie:Oh, I had no idea what was going on either. I just went towards the ocean. Well, we came walking through. You told us Keezy to go to a certain bar, so we went there. We walked past Jase immediately, and we said we're going to that bar over there. I didn't hear that. And then you just wandered away from us. Yeah, well, I was just checking out the beach. I mean, we'd just arrived, and I wanted to see what the beach was like, and it's beautiful, by the way. It is.

4:54Mike Minogue:Seriously, Jase. No, seriously. No, I'm being 100 % genuine right now. We're going to play golf tomorrow, right? Yes. Jase is going to wander off to the beach. Other than that, you don't have to hang out with us if you don't want to. I'm being serious.

5:08Keyzie:You turned around and went back up the steps and said, I'm just going to go and find pugs. Mogi and his mates wandered off down the thing. Our mates down the thing. And I was like, oh, I'll just go and check out the beach. That's all that happened there. Yeah, right. Jeez, I feel really under attack here. It's not good, is it? First day of a holiday. I've had to change my clothes. It's the most stressed out we've ever been. I reckon. Jason and I were having a yarn and we said to ourselves, jeez, it's not bad, is it, as a job, actually? No, it's great. This will do us. Very grateful. And we'll really appreciate it once it's gone.

5:36Plenty of water to go into the bridge, of course. But, yeah, geez, she's a pretty magic spot.

5:43Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

5:52Keyzie:Do you think that's a little swimming pool there, or is that just decoration? That's decoration. Yeah, okay.

5:56Mike Minogue:So just for the listeners too, we are broadcast. But it'll be over your head, so I don't want you going in there.

6:00Keyzie:Yeah, okay. Well, at least you can see me from here if I get in trouble. There's double overhead on Jase. There might be some floaties we can use.

6:09Mike Minogue:Fellas, can I ask you, what's up? Just for the audience, we're broadcasting from a conference room. So if it sounds echoey now and also on today's radio show, that's why. It's only because it's fucking super echoey in here. In fact, it's so echoey that as soon as we started, our assistant that's been provided by the hotel here immediately bailed. He'd heard enough. He's gone now. I think that was the content. Yeah, it's part of it. This is how echoey it is. Yeah. So what's the plan tonight? We're going to finish the show, obviously, around about 7 New Zealand time. Which is 6pm Fiji time, which is great.

6:42Mike Minogue:Yeah, that's right. Which is party time.

6:44Keyzie:Yeah, we're on Fiji time now. And I think that'll be probably happier. What is the plan, given that we've got a round of golf tomorrow and I understand it's going to get up to 35 degrees? Yeah, 36.

6:55Mike Minogue:Okay, so my strat is we go from here to get my bag and I check into my hotel room. Well, all of us need to do that, I think. I then take a steamer. Right, okay. because I didn't get to take one this morning and I've just been waiting to take one. Is that what it is?

7:08Keyzie:Well, it's not. You were really hungry and you had a big steamer waiting to go.

7:13Mike Minogue:It's a combination of many, many things, Jase. And then I will have a shower, not because I'm doing a steamer, but just because I want to have a shower. That's a tradition. Actually, no. Instead of doing that, I'll go for a swim. After your steamer? Yeah, that's good. You should have a shower first. Nah, I did swim. Well, unless you're going in the ocean, then it's all good.

7:31Keyzie:Well, just let us know what pool you're going to be swimming in. That's all Adults only Kitties

7:35Mike Minogue:Right Yeah yeah And so that's what I'll be doing And then I'll probably have some sort of late dinner At about 8 or 9pm

7:44Keyzie:What's the plan for you guys? It's almost all gone man Do the show firstly Yeah And then hang with the fellas Go for a walk along the beach It's beautiful that beach Maybe Depending on what the tide's doing A little dip I wonder where the sun sets I've got no idea No No, I have no idea either.

8:05Mike Minogue:Bit of an ocean swim, see what the fellas are doing. Go from there. Yeah, I'm not going to go for any walks. I will walk to the pool. I will walk to the bar.

8:14Keyzie:Well, I mean, in fairness, the beach is like 100 metres away.

8:18Mike Minogue:But I don't want to walk across the beach and down around to see what's around. I don't care. I just want to swim and drink cocktails. I'm like that. To be fair, usually I'm not when I'm overseas somewhere else. But because I've been to Fiji, I've been to this resort before. and I just want two days of golf and swimming and doing air fall.

8:36Keyzie:Great stuff. Sweet as, man.

8:38Mike Minogue:Is that so much to ask? Is that too much to ask, man? I don't think so, man. So on a scale of 1 to 10, how pissed are you going to get tonight? I think it depends how the mood is after you've done your steamer, doesn't it, and you shower in there. Yeah, it'll be my post-steamer mood. With one obviously being completely sober, 10 being mogy after one coconut, I reckon I'll be like an 8. Yeah, I think we do need to get more drinks in here. I'll say that. Don't say that Then look at pugs And I didn't I did Keezy do it Keezy's trying to get you To get drinks

9:08Keyzie:Oh there's waters over there He's pointing at the waters I don't think that's what Moggy was talking about Just quietly A couple of coconuts Would be good They are good That was good But yeah Even just a beer You know This is like The flashiest OB We've ever done Yeah If we're going to have beers In Hokitika It feels like we should be Having them in Fiji Fiji Yeah, man. No, but it is. It is a spectacular place. It's a little bit like a mall with pools. Yeah, look, I mean, this is the sort of place you could lift up into the air and drop on sort of any beautiful beach anywhere in the world. You're certainly not going to get much of a taste of the local culture outside of the fact that everybody they hire here is the friendliest person in the world.