OUTRO: The Keyzies Are Coming To Town

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0:16Keyzie:Oh, g'day fellas. Oh, backbone keys.

0:21Mike Minogue:Morning, hello, thank you.

0:22Keyzie:How's everyone going this morning? I'm tired this morning. Yeah, same. Alright. Had an absolutely shit sleep. I had a good sleep last night. I'm ready to go. My sleep was worse. Can you carry the show then, Mogi?

0:35Mike Minogue:My sleep was worse than yours, Jase. Why is that, Kesey? Tell us about your sleep, Kesey man. I actually, no, it was fine, but I just wasn't able to go to sleep until quite late. What time are we talking here? 10.45. And that really does fuck you up on breakfast. It does, yes. Because usually I'm like 9.30 later. Are you in bed? Yeah, I was in bed, yeah. Just rolling around there. I've been in bed like sort of 8.45 most days this week. Shit. Yeah.

1:00Keyzie:I've been sort of running at nine o 'clock. He's staying up later than you, Keezy. I was in bed at 9.30 last night and then woke up at 12.30. And I went. What for? Did you set your alarm? No, just thinking that it was close to four, that was my vibe. Went out to the kitchen there and looked at the clock and went.

1:21Mike Minogue:I love how you have to go out to the kitchen to know what the time is. Well, I also wanted to have some water. You don't have water beside your bed, Jase.

1:29Keyzie:No, I don't. Neither do I. And it annoys me every time when I wake up and I need a lot of water. And I go, why do I never fucking have a glass of water by the bed? And yet. And yet. Well, you think to yourself, well, I've got to go out and look at the time. Yeah, exactly. It'll probably be when I get up anyway. So you know what I mean? I hear you, man. Yeah, man. It's probably where I drink my most water is during the night. I'm waking up just sucking it up. I was going to say, doesn't your wife complain about you fucking gulping your water? She does, yeah. And then you do like five wheeze. But what doesn't she complain about, am I right?

2:01What does it sound like?

2:05Like that. She's like, what are you doing? I was like, drinking water. Again?

2:13Keyzie:I love it. But also you've got to. I'm so thirsty. You've got to add in the five wheeze that it then induces as well. So you drink your water.

2:22Mike Minogue:That's not what it sounds like when you're drinking water.

2:25Keyzie:And then 20 minutes later, it's like, oh, no. Oh, 20 minutes. And then you go to the toilet and you piss right in the middle of the water with a powerful stream. You piss in the water and you go, which sounds like this. Yeah. Actually, I did that this morning because I go into the second toilet when I'm doing my ablutions. Oh, Mr. Two Shitters. Look at this guy. Rich guy. Two Shitters. And I creep into the second toilet to do my ablutions. Creepy guy. And this morning, and it's quite echoey in my bathrooms, I let rip. And I didn't even intend to either. It was just a massive fart, really loud.

3:02At the risk of doing a hoity J here, maybe I need to start recording one. The ones that I was wearing, I don't even need to do poos. It's just the farties. Yes. Farties, I call them Keezy around my joint.

3:13Mike Minogue:Cool, man. Preliminary to the poo. Absolutely shocking bastards, they were. Yeah. You think to yourself, Keezy, you'll know this, man. Where does it come from? Yeah. And I'll tell you the answer. You're nice. You're nice. It does, yeah. I don't think that. You don't think what? I'm so tired this morning. Next time I'll live chat you. It's all good, man. We've got you for the first hour now. It's going to be annoying for you. I know. It already kind of is for some reason.

3:44Keyzie:I haven't got you at all, Keezy. This is all on Mogey today. Yeah, man, let's do it. It's a mogi special. All right. But, yes, so I cracked an enormous fart. Yeah, good. And I heard my wife in the other room go, oh. What was she up to? Well, it was so loud that it startled her. Right. And she was like, oh.

4:08Mike Minogue:That did not happen. Your wife would have just gone, apart from the course. Was she all a quiver, would you say, Jase? She was all a quiver, yeah.

4:16Keyzie:Yeah. So she was startled by it. And that was all brought on, of course, by the hot pot yesterday. So you had a lunchtime hot pot.

4:23Mike Minogue:How was it at lunchtime? Fucking so good. So lunchtime hot pot is a go. Totally, man. We should go there for lunch one day. Yeah, we will. I want to go. Or dinner with our partners. Absolutely. We'll all dress up in suits. It'll be good. Pugs is saying something, but I can't hear what he's saying. What are you saying, Pugs? He's just saying, why don't we go today? No, fuck that, man. Fuck that. Oh, sweet. No, look. No, I'm going to a very similar restaurant for dinner tonight with my parents, so I can't go today. Oh, okay. Now, how's your old man feeling? About the WAAS. I talked to him. No, they were very chipper.

5:01Mike Minogue:Were they? Yeah, they were like, no, we're looking forward to going to the WAAS. And then we've all agreed we're going to - It's like you're talking to me gay or something. No, it's all good. No, it's fine. You be you, Keezy. Yep. But basically, we're all going to not take our phones to the WAAS. Yeah. And then we're just going to watch the Waz, hop in the car, go home, watch the ABs. It's going to be great. Who are they playing again, by the way?

5:21Keyzie:Dragons, is it?

5:22Mike Minogue:Ireland. Yes, the ABs are Ireland. The Dragons are playing Ireland. Yeah, yeah. And, of course, the Broncos beat the Panthers last night. So things are looking good for the Waz there. And why is that good? Well, because it means they're not getting further ahead on the table. Oh, got you. If we ever win, we're only two points behind them then. I see. We're dragging them in, mate. So that's good shit for us. And it's also they're getting a bit of shaky knees. We should do, we're going to do a Waz preview chat. We do. And we've got double to give away as well. We do. We'll have a bit of it. And also, I was talking to a mate.

5:52He goes, oh, come to yours and watch the Waz. And I said, yeah, but I said the All Blacks as well. So what's the idea there? And he said, you have the TV going and a laptop and watch them at the same time. I was like, are you fucking insane? Yeah, nah. So you ruin both games. Exactly. I don't get that.

6:09Keyzie:You don't pay attention to either properly. A lot of people will be doing that. Yeah, it's crazy.

6:13Mike Minogue:Whereas I would way rather just switch off all devices, double header. Absolutely. I'll go double header. And because All Blacks start first, that's what I'll watch first. Yeah, seven. I'll just stick to that. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

6:32Keyzie:I'll watch the All Blacks and not watch the Wahs at all. So the usual.

6:36Mike Minogue:The funny thing is I booked, I had a choice of like, because it's been ages since we played at Mount Spa, right? We've been all over the place. like Mount Smart Games in the last little wee while oh yeah nonexistent really a couple of weeks ago but like we've had like three in like two months or something oh yeah and so I was trying to choose which game to get my parents to go along to and I was like I need to guarantee a win right so I'll go to the Dragons yeah because that's shit but then now oh and the Panthers no I know but now it's like because the thing is with my dad if we go to watch the WARS and the WARS lose he will not let me forget it he'll be like oh god finally went to the WARS and they sucked, didn't they?

7:14Mike Minogue:And I'll just be like, no, I cannot have that. Is that right? So I chose the Dragons. But then as a result now, I'm like, fuck, we're only playing the Dragons and it's All Blacks Island. It's kind of gone the other way. Still good, though. But yeah, to be fair, they're both very excited.

7:30Keyzie:It's going to be a massive weekend for your father, actually, going to the Woz live for the first time, his son coming out. You know, there's a lot going on. Come on, Jase, we're better than this.

7:40Mike Minogue:We are better than this.

7:41Keyzie:What do you mean better? I'm really proud of you too, man. And you're going out for dinner tonight and you're hot potting. We are better than this.

7:50Mike Minogue:Come on, James.

7:51Keyzie:It's good stuff, man.

7:58Mike Minogue:And we're going hot potting. Three big occasions. I'm going hot potting, yeah. Oh, I'm not really going hot potting. We're going to a restaurant that does interesting things.

8:07Keyzie:Does your dad like chilli? Is he a chilli head? My mum makes a guacamole.

8:12Mike Minogue:A guacamole that's too spicy for him. A guacamole that's too spicy. She puts a few chilli flakes and a little bit of sweet chilli sauce in. But people are very much of that, especially, oh, he's not that old. How old is he? 67, 68.

8:24Keyzie:What I was going to say, is it a generational thing, though? You know, because their generation didn't really have chilli. So it is. Because on the plantation, they didn't.

8:37Mike Minogue:Jase, I thought you guys were going to look after me this next hour. I was literally just thinking, Jace is absolutely making a meal of old keys this morning because he's shown him at a weakness. Look how much happier Jace is now than he was before you said I'm tired. He's super sad.

8:55Keyzie:I'm only saying what you've told us about the plantation and your upbringing and stuff. And the point I was trying to make was that there wasn't really chilli on the plantation.

9:08Mike Minogue:Nah, because we couldn't afford it? No, you were rich. You were rich, but he didn't want to afford it. But he is your age. But especially people like that. Would it be fair to say that people in the regions? Yes, I think so. Your farmers, stuff like that. Your dad's like a farmer. He strikes me as a farmer when I met him. He's a car version of farming. Yeah. You know what I mean? He's just all about. But he's not a piece of shit, which is what I associate mechanics with. You know, mongrel, backbone. Because my mates who are into their cars, they're sort of like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, but your dad's not like that at all.