OUTRO: The Speakeyzie

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0:15Mike Minogue:G'day families. Hello.

0:18Keyzie:How's everyone going?

0:21Mike Minogue:I'm absolutely rooted, but other than that, chipper though. Tell us your flight today, man. 6am. Yeah, it's in the morning. Get this. People say sometimes they'll say 6am this morning No need That annoys me Does it? Yeah it does You had a flight at 6am This morning Yes I was up I was supposed to My alarm was set for 4.30am Right? In the morning In the am In the morning Yeah that's the one I got up at 2.30am Because I woke up And then I was like I've got to get up in two hours anyway So fuck it So I got up Get to the airport Arrive and the security line is all the way through every single part of the security area and out and down towards the baggage claims area.

1:06Mike Minogue:Nice. And I've got like 35 minutes to my flight. You're like, oh, shit. Okay. But I was like, hang on, everyone here is on a 6 a.m. flight. It'll be fine. Wait in line. Someone's chundered in the middle of the security line all over the ground and it's like brown and disgusting and people have like not noticed it and walked through it and rolled their suitcases through it.

1:24Keyzie:Oh, no.

1:25Mike Minogue:And the security area smelled like vomit. And it took ages. And I was just like, this is a shambles. And then they put us on the plane. And then they were like, hey, we're going to delay. Our pilot has missed his call time, aka has slept in. And so I was sitting on the plane for like 45, 50 minutes. Would you say that? They said, and there was a bit of chewed in the voice that he's missed his call time. So we've managed to wrangle another pilot. He'll be here in about 15 minutes. Yeah, I just say there's an issue with the paperwork.

1:54Keyzie:Yeah, well, that's what they usually do. It makes you look an imp. I mean, often, especially with the sort of regional flights, they'll go, oh, God, there's not enough people on this. We'll just try and cancel it so we'll get more people. What was that flight that we were on where the woman there said it was a shit shot? Remember that? That was recent. It was recent. Wellington? That was shocking. I was shocked by that.

2:16Mike Minogue:What's up with you, by the way?

2:17Keyzie:I thought you were Zooming. I didn't realise you were flying down there.

2:20Mike Minogue:No, I was down there in person with 60 or 70 students. So you're not listening, man. clearly not but we'll get into this on the show though yeah we will which is great what's up with you because you've done this twice now you've like twinged yourself or something

2:33Keyzie:yeah my hip's fucked I had to hold on to my car ceiling to get out of my car you're about due for a hip replacement yeah totally I am I was saying my wife and I were walking last night and I said I should actually in all seriousness book in my hip operation now because I can't get in and out of my car it's fucking painful

2:53Mike Minogue:but you would have and I don't want to be that guy, but you would have sought attention for it. You wouldn't just go straight to surgery. I've had physio for it. Really? Yeah.

3:03Keyzie:When was that? About a month ago. I find that hard to believe. I find it really hard to believe.

3:10Mike Minogue:We've not heard anything about that. And we know that nothing happens in your life that doesn't get brought up on the show. I don't tell you everything about my life. You have not had physio. That is a lie. Okay. And you do that too when you're lying. Alright. No, that's fine. That's fine. Okay.

3:27Keyzie:And I'm also getting massive stabbing pains in my stomach too. Well, you know what that is. That's my ulcers.

3:34Mike Minogue:Oh, is it? You wish. Yeah, that's what I wish.

3:37Keyzie:When I get stressed, I get stabbing pains. But you know why you're stressed. Oh, what are you stressed about? Lots of stuff. But anyway, so you got down there on time then, Keezy?

3:46Mike Minogue:My plane was an hour delayed. I landed and the taxi, it was pre-booked. I was like, oh, poor fellow. He'd be waiting there for ages with my little sign. He calls me. The flight date times, I don't know. Yeah, he calls me and says, hey, man, I'm 15 minutes away. And I'm like, cool, I've got half an hour until I'm talking. Right. And he's 15 minutes away. And the traffic said it was going to be 34 minutes to get there. It was just a fucking shambles. The whole morning was a shambles and I was really tired. On the bright side, you're only talking to students. Yeah, but I remember when John Campbell came down and spoke to us.

4:15Mike Minogue:And I remember it was really exciting. And I'm not John Campbell by any stretch of the imagination. Did you hear that? But I went from in a rush, out of the taxi, G'day, man, how you going? G'day, how are you? I'll just come and introduce you, and then you'll come in. I was like, yeah, okay. And then like 30 seconds later, I was walking into a room, there was like people clapping, and then I was doing a lecture on radio. Yeah. It was fucking like boom, boom, boom. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

4:45Keyzie:In a way, that's a good thing. You don't get to sort of, I mean, obviously you had to piss around with all the delays and stuff, but you don't want to be waiting around once you're there to go and get it done. You know what I mean? It's good to just be chucked into it and then just go, okay, here I am, let's do it. So you puked all over the customs line. Were you that nervous, Keezy? Yeah, because when I get nervous, I just couldn't sleep last night,

5:08Mike Minogue:so I just got on the hammer.

5:12Keyzie:That only works for a few hours.

5:14Mike Minogue:It was embarrassing because when I went to speak to the students, I had gone wheeze beforehand, but I didn't clean it up properly and I had a big wet patch on the front of my crotch. Yeah. And it was really embarrassing.

5:23Keyzie:Yeah, I can imagine. I can imagine.

5:27Mike Minogue:But what have you guys been up to? But it would look like a bit. It would look like you're doing a bit. Yeah, it was a bit. Oh, Kesey's wet as pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's deliberately pissed himself. And then I turned it into a lesson for the students. They loved it. Yes. They loved it. Did you get a few more followers, man? Did you direct everybody to your Instagram page? I think I got maybe six more followers. Yeah, cool. Classic though. Also, interesting, the female audience were way more engaged than the dudes. Oh, they always are. But it totally reminded me of being at school, and all of my mates and I, all the guys, were fucking hopeless.

5:59Mike Minogue:And you just look around, and the girls are writing notes and stuff, and I'm like, oh, cool, the people are writing notes. I'm like, hang on, people aren't writing notes. All of the girls are writing notes, and the dudes are just sitting there. I think the women, though, in my experience, they were just drawing cock and balls. Oh, were they? Yeah, because it sort of makes them look like they're studious and interested, but really it's just schlongs. Really? Yeah.

6:18Keyzie:Oh, wow. Just on that, actually, we had a guest speaker out at our school who was also a radio broadcaster talking about that as well. Have a guess who it was. Back in your day? Back in my day. Okay, Murray Deeker. Yes. Bang on, Logan. I was just trying to think of the oldest person in radio.

6:37Mike Minogue:Hang on. I was trying to Google who invented radio.

6:40Keyzie:And I've got to say.

6:42Mike Minogue:Was it Guillermo Marconi? To his credit, he was very good. He would have been very good.

6:47Keyzie:He was very good. Yeah. And he dropped, you know, a few swear words. Yeah. That'll get the kids on side. I did a few. He did a bit of filth, which was sort of, you know, suggested rather than blatantly spoken. And then one of the boys asked him at some stage, Sir, what did you mean by blah, blah, blah? And everyone sort of giggled. And Murray Deeker walked off the stage and walked down to this kid and just whispered in his ear. And then walked back up on stage again. And the kid was just sitting there going. I can't remember who it was, but yeah. It was pretty good. Yeah, well, yeah, very accomplished.

7:23He did quite well, didn't he, in the old radio? He did, yeah.

7:26Mike Minogue:So was he a radio guy first? I didn't even know that. Who? No, he was a teacher first. Right, well, he was a baby first. What did you think he was if he wasn't a radio person? Deeker on Sport on Sky. Oh, right. Yeah, no, radio. No, he was in radio forever, man. Right, was he a sports talkback guy? Yeah. Yeah, right. When he first started. And I hated his show. So serious. Yeah. Like sport is just the most important thing. Like no sense of humour. Yes. When I heard it. He must have had one.

7:56Keyzie:He could have a sense of humour, but it was interesting. But God, it was serious. I read his book, The Man in the Mirror.

8:03Mike Minogue:No, that's Michael Jackson's book.

8:05Keyzie:Because he's had some, you know, issues. Oh, he has, yes. and he was talking about when he first started in Talkback Radio, he was so nervous that he just got all his mates to ring him up because he was terrified that no one was going to call. Oh, wow. And his mum and family members and stuff, and they just pretended to be other people asking him questions.

8:24Mike Minogue:Right.

8:25Keyzie:He did that for about a month.

8:26Mike Minogue:But then people were calling in.