OUTRO: The Ultimate Mozza

0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Dog It. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horek. G'day mate, how are you? Oh g'day fellas. Hey, old Pugsans just running around like a chicken with its head chopped off about to go and work at Reburger. Yeah man. Like a sauce chicken with its head cut off. It's been one of those afternoons, actually,

0:35Keyzie:where little things have happened that have just got deep inside my goat. They have, haven't they? Whereas for me, it's water off a duck's back. Yeah, well, that's good. Yeah, I'm all good. That's good. And I'm not just talking about work-related stuff. I'm talking about other stuff. It's just like, you know, I had a really lovely morning. Beautiful day, fellas. Lovely day. Another beautiful, blue, crisp day. And then, you know, the afternoon just turned to fucking shit. Did it, man. Yeah, but that's okay.

1:03Jason Hoyte:I certainly don't feel like a catalyst in that for you, Hoody J.

1:06Keyzie:No, it's nothing to do with you, Pugs-un. Let's hope the evenings. I might have to make love or something tonight just to smooth out my day. You won't be able to get a lot. Yeah, that's true. Due to stress. What will happen is I'll suggest to my wife we make out, and then under the pressure of the fact that it hasn't happened in six months, I'll fall apart sexually with my limp fatus and just sit weeping naked on the side of the bed. Sorry, that's never happened to me before. She says, well, that's a lie. It's been 28 years. Oh, brewers droop, hoit, they call them. Yeah, and then she'll say something along the lines of, why do we even bother?

1:44Keyzie:Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll be like. I'll put the kettle on. Yeah. Exactly, man, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yes. But I don't even have the excuses for Brewer's Drew. You know what I mean? I don't even have that excuse. Just a sagging. You know what you've got to do, man, to make sure you can get it up? What's that? You've got to be like Conor McGregor and do weights with it, man. Oh, yeah. You've got to do some curls. A weight to my fuckers. Tighten a string there, man. Yeah, just do a little press-up. Curls. Curls. De-doosh, de-doosh, de-doosh, de-doosh.

2:21Jason Hoyte:I wish I could see that photo. I'm kind of intrigued. I did search for the uncensored version, couldn't find it. You're a filthy bastard. Maybe that's been scrubbed. Well, it's just pure curiosity, man. It'll be there. It'll be running a semi-automatic. Loving it. Absolutely up to the gills from the sounds of it. What happened there, and those who don't know, is it Azalea Banks? Who was it? It was Azalea Banks. She's a pop star. Yeah, so she received the – Controversial. In the request, just in the request, in her messages from Conor McGregor on Insta, a photo of him with his fast horse hanging out his fly, no less, and he said he was curling weights.

3:02I don't know exactly what he had hanging off it. Shirtless, sweating like a coke addict, which is what he is. And then from the sounds of it, he's sobered up at some point and then got back in touch and said, if you fucking do anything with that, and threatened her and she immediately released it to the world.

3:20Jason Hoyte:As somebody who listens to Azalea Banks and knows her various controversies, she seems like the worst person on the planet. That you could send it to. I mean, you shouldn't be sending it to anyone, but also to ask or expect that somebody won't share that. She has never cared about just blasting stuff online.

3:35Keyzie:Excuse my ignorance here, fellas. Who's she? Singer.

3:39Jason Hoyte:She's a singer, rapper, pop star.

3:41Keyzie:Makes some good tunes for me. I actually, funnily enough, watched a Conor McGregor fight the other day where he got his head smacked in. and I've watched a few of his fights, you know, just on YouTube or whatever. God, he's a strutting little peacock, isn't he? He was great back in the day. I mean, in that sort of gladiatorial environment, I guess it's great that you just totally back yourself. And he mocks his opponents and he's like, come on, come on. Well, he was though, but he was also a fighter's fighter. So fighting was everything for him. He lived a clean life. He considered drinking a weakness.

4:19and so his entire focus in those early years was just getting to the title, and he was absolutely amazing. He would predict the way fights would go. He was absolutely amazing. What's happened to him since those days is a sad tale of addiction.

4:33Keyzie:Yeah, well, it's interesting because obviously he's a multi-multi-millionaire. Well, he sold his whiskey company. Yes. So he established a whiskey company. He sold that for$600 million. Okay. And that's just that one thing. Yeah. Yeah, so he's going pretty good. If I've got 600 mil in the accounts, it's goodnight nurse for Hoity J. Oh, 100%. Are you kidding me? I would absolutely die.

4:59Jason Hoyte:You give me one mil, I'm chilling, brother. I'm living easy, man. I'm doing a Hoity J.

5:04Keyzie:I might survive and not kill myself on one mil. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's good. And by that I mean just drug addiction and booze. Yeah. I don't mean, you know, top myself. No. And so forth. But the one thing, this fight that I watched when he did get his head smacked in, and he got pummeled bad. Why am I forgetting his name? I can't remember the name of the dude, unfortunately, because I'm not that. I cannot believe I can't remember his name. Oh, Faye. But to his credit, at the end of it, he shook his hand, and it was like, well done, mate. Oh, that might have been Nate Diaz. You smacked the crap out of me.

5:40The one that I was thinking of is the guy that didn't lose the entire time, and they hated each other's guts. from Dagestan, Khabib. Khabib. Bit of a fighter, obviously. Does he hang weights off his dick? Oh, no, he's Muslim. He's an interesting dude, actually. They're all very funny. There's a whole bunch of them that come from Dagestan, the one village in Dagestan which has got a population of about 1 ,000 maybe, that's a guess. But they've had like eight Olympic champions for wrestling come out of this tiny little town. Where's Dagestan? It's attached to Russia. Okay. So it's part of the Russian territories now.

6:20Federation. So as soon as he won the world title, and particularly after he smashed over Conor McGregor, he was just given land and hundreds of millions of dollars, and he's a god over there. Yes. But very, very grounded, very grounded in his faith and all that sort of stuff. Really amazing guy. He's very, very funny. Great sense of humour.

6:40Keyzie:It almost feels like when you're in that hemisphere of massive wealth and et cetera, et cetera, you do need a kind of grounding in something. I think so. You know, to just anchor you to a realist. You have to be a very strong person otherwise. A speech like Conor McGregor came from abject poverty, like the projects, absolute. So you do that and then you get to the top and you've been the fighter and you've been number one. It's like that thing of coming off stage, right, for rock stars. Yes. What are you going to feel? What is going to give me that feeling of glory? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's, you know, an ounce of cocaine every single night in super yachts.

7:23Yes. And, you know, passion. What can only be described as a fairly unattractive woman who aren't your wife on various beaches around the world and then being photographed and having that splashed all over the news for your wife to then have to live down. And what an honour that must be for her.

7:40Keyzie:Well, I'm assuming that she probably took him for a few bob. They're still together. In fact, I don't think they've ever married. I think they've got three or four kids. I think they'd be running a thing like Sharon Osbourne. If I don't know about it, I don't care. Do you know what I mean? That's what Ozzy was. He's going to do that. I just don't want to know about it. But publicly rubbing her nose in it by being so indiscreet, which is what Connor's doing because he's off his head all the time. That would have been quite the rush. At this point, she's got to walk away. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I feel sickened for her.

8:13Keyzie:I would, in that situation, get a very good lawyer. Oh, that's$600 million? Yeah, and go. It just got much smaller. Can I, look, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll walk away, give me 300 mil. Oh, sure. And I'll be happy with that. Yep. You know what I'm saying? I hear you.

8:32Jason Hoyte:The Hauraki B Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show Podcast Just to pivot and I feel like it's important that this is content on the show that thing that we were freaking out about I was right it's not for a week You're a fuckhead man 100 % I feel like it needs to be It's actually even worse now because I was so excited to do it I know I know and so I feel like it needs to be Let's talk about this Okay So Fucking hell Absolute fucking drop kid Absolute debacle for me this might be one of my best. This has never happened, by the way. No. It has.

9:10Keyzie:Dylan Moran walked in the building like two years ago. I don't remember that part of it. All I remember is him being a fuckwit, Literally, we're sitting at the table out there.

9:20Jason Hoyte:For context for the audience, I thought we had an interview a week away, then thought it was today, and so we all freaked out. Can we say who it is? Yeah. Who gives a shit? Jeremy Piven. Jeremy Piven, who I'm a fan of. Yeah. and has been in a bunch of shit that I've loved. I think he's very good, obviously, in Entourage, but heaps of other stuff. And was looking forward to it. And I was gutted. Pugs was like, oh, no, he's coming in next week. I was like, this is what got told to me when I came into the office. I was like, oh, red shit. And then five minutes later, Pugs was like, oh, fuck, it's not.

9:53It's today. Yeah. So then panic stations, except for me, I was like, yes, I get to have a yarn to him. How good. You're freaking out. Well, purely because I - You're not particularly familiar with his work. No, no.

10:04Keyzie:I know him as an actor. But you need to have a look into him before you talk to him. But I need to have a little bit of a, you know, ticky tour. Which is fair enough.

10:10Jason Hoyte:And I'm freaking out because I've fucked it. But it's not a big deal by any stretcher.

10:14Keyzie:I mean, it is to me. It is to you, yes. It gave me more stress than I needed in my life right now. I'm sure you've spent the last 20 minutes.

10:21Jason Hoyte:I'm fucking fuming about it. Yeah. Yeah, rightfully so.

10:27Keyzie:And I've missed out on the half-price sushi, which I was fully intending on getting. But now he's not coming, Joe. So there's a silver lining there. Yeah, yeah. We'll interview him next week. Yeah, so now I can worry about that for next week. But let me just say, give it five minutes and he'll be back. It was 100%, yeah. To be honest, it did for about a minute. And then I was like, ah, fuck it. We'll be fine. We'll be fine for longer than that. We can just wing it. No, no.

10:47Jason Hoyte:You've just only come down. And I'm like panicking. I'm banging notes in the dock. Like, here's all the stuff for it, man.

10:53Keyzie:Yeah, that was the other thing is like two pages of notes and he's going to be here in three minutes.

10:59Jason Hoyte:Yeah.

10:59Keyzie:Good shit.

10:59Jason Hoyte:Well, the good news is we're a week prepped ahead, brother. Okay. That is my bad. That is 100 % on me freaking out. Yeah.

11:08Keyzie:Well, it's quite funny that, you know.

11:09Jason Hoyte:I just want to be clear. I don't give a shit except for the fact he's not coming now. How easy is that conversation? You get to have a conversation with a guy who's pretty funny, a good chat. He'll be very sharp. He's an actor and he's a comedian. He's been in some cool shit. A very, very easy conversation. and interesting that he's now deciding to do comedy because I feel like he did it way back in the day and he's only just started up again.

11:31Keyzie:Must be really struggling on the work front. I think that's what it is, but that's what it's like for all New Zealanders, all New Zealand actors, isn't it, is you have to be doing some other shit and then you'll be talking to him about that and you'll be able to say, how do you think I got into radio? You think I want to do this shit? I don't want to do this shit. There's your out, man. Thanks, man. I might talk to him about how when I was acting, I was also a male escort. Yes. Oh, yeah? You run with that with me? Well, I'll run with that. I'll run with that. I'll run with that. You say that you're a male escort and you made no money, so to try and make a sideline of income, you became an actor.

12:05You did quite well. Yes. But still, your main passion is.

12:09Keyzie:And that was because I got brewers droop. So if you're like a male escort, you get brewers droop. It's fucked. Yeah, he'd have a bit of brewers droop chat. Listen. Here we go. He's back.