OUTRO: To durry or not to durry?

0:02Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggy. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Network. Well, g'day fellas. G'day Jase. How you going man? You all G? Yeah, I'm all G man. You loving it man? No, I'm kind of over it already and we're just doing the podcast. I've seen a new top you got on man. Yeah, it is. I got it from the recycling boutique. It's bloody good.

0:36Mike Minogue:I love it. It fits me like a glove. You sure do. We're down here in Dunedin, by the way. Yes. We're at Emerson's. Mogi's been away a couple of days. He's back today, though, and he's sounding fucking gorgeous. I'm sounding sick, man. Can't wait to see how I sound at the end of it. I was sort of feeling like I sounded okay until I put these headphones on. Right. Quite nasally. Yeah, quite nasally. Yeah.

0:58Keyzie:We were sort of thinking, we were chatting yesterday about, you know, about the state of you, you know, and your Hoover and death. You know, you're obviously vacuuming up a lot of shit when you're outside, and it stands to reason, doesn't it, Keezy? Not all of it's going to be good for you, you know what I mean? But I'm up to the eyeballs in flu meds. I've got my Otravin Plus. I've got my Panadol. I've got my Coldrel. Fuck yeah. You're just shoving it all in there. I'm on my third packet of cough lollies. Fuck yeah. Let's go, baby.

1:27Mike Minogue:You just have to get to seven. That's it. And I've had a coffee there. How many darts have you had?

1:31Keyzie:No darts. Same. This is a terrible thing. Pugs turned up and he pulled out a pack of camels. Yeah. Are they filterless? That massively triggered me. Yeah. Because I haven't seen durries. I haven't been around durries.

1:46Mike Minogue:So you're telling me this bet that we've got where you're going to give up the vape and durries and everything. Yes. Literally all it takes is to see a durry.

1:54Keyzie:Well, just chuck me the packet there. No, don't.

1:56Mike Minogue:Don't chuck him the packet.

1:57Keyzie:I haven't, genuinely, I haven't had a Dari in months. Oh, they look good. Many, many months, actually. And so, you know, especially when we're on the road and stuff. I'm looking at the packet here. You've got teeth like that, man. You're like, exactly. So you might as well keep going. You know, I'm looking at that and just going, well, there you go. Oh, my God. That could be you, man. And they're the really compact ones from Vietnam. They're only a little one. It's only a little one, Kesey.

2:21Mike Minogue:They're only tiny, man. I mean, one won't hurt me. See this picture of this guy's teeth here. This is what your wife sees every night. Well, that's all right. I don't care. She's still with me.

2:34Keyzie:They are particularly. This is really tempting. Get those away from me, please, Bugs. Fuck's sake. Is it that much of a temptation? Yeah, massively so. Well, especially when we're doing a live show. Yeah, it's true. You know what I mean? It's one of your triggers. Hi, sorry. One of your live shows or any time you're sort of alive. Well, it's like, Keezy, you said I'll have a few beersies for settlers. A nerve settler. A nerve settler. That's what a ciggy is for me.

3:00Mike Minogue:But the thing is, if I see a bear, I don't go, whoa. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. You just smashed into it straight away. Yeah, I mean. Okay, I guess I do understand. Yes, yeah. To be fair, if I hadn't had a bear, when was the last time you had a durry?

3:16Keyzie:We were thinking Fiji, weren't we? Yeah. And even then, you only had the one. And I was trying to think when that was. In the morning, because I came to your room. No, but what date it was? No, it was in the morning. I gave you a room. What date? And you reeked of durries. When did we go there? August? October? It was October. Wow.

3:36Mike Minogue:Let me search. Yeah, right. So if I hadn't had a Bearsie since October and someone was passing around a Bearsie in front of me, I would be exactly the same. And you're doing a live show. I'd be exactly the same. Yes. I get you.

3:46Keyzie:So you're giving me permission then, Keezy? For what? For a durry.

3:49Mike Minogue:Fuck no.

3:50Keyzie:What? May is when our bet starts.

3:52Mike Minogue:Well, that's right. But if you get back on the durries, you have no idea. There is no money on this. You have no idea how. It's not about money for me. Do you know what? The beauty of all of this is, of course, because for those who don't know, I've got a bet with the jizz master. Who do you jizz? The jizz master general. And Keezy. I'm betting them$100 each and they're betting me$100 each that James can't go the month of May without smoking a cigarette or having a vape, any kind of sort of nicotine product. Apart from nicorette. I'm allowing the nicorette. The gum, yes. And I'm getting my money's worth, man.

4:23I've thrown a cat amongst the pigeons, and it is like,

4:26Keyzie:you two are a fucking shambles. Can I just say, on that front, Mogi, Kesey yesterday upped his bet to 200. Oh, without me being there? Yeah, he just upped it. Because my wife is so furious that I've taken that bet. Oh, I see. So what he's trying to do here. Kesey said, I back you, Jase. I'm upping my side of it to 200. Right, but I only have to put 100 up. Yeah, you still only have to put 100 up.

4:51Mike Minogue:Okay, so this isn't what happened at all, obviously. because Jace is the one telling the story. But what he tried to do is say that I'm so confident in backing him, which I am. No, you're not. That I will pay his$100 as well. Yeah. So it became a situation where he has no financial loss and he just has to vape. And he gets to watch me give you$200. That's right. It's a win, win, win, win. Literally, if that was if I was him, I would be straight on the vape.

5:14Keyzie:But having said that, Kesey, it is my life we're talking about. Oh, no, no one cares. No one values that.

5:20Mike Minogue:I do. Um, so... Moggy, what's best for Jase? Come on. I just want Jase to be happy, man. That's the difference between you and me. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. How funny was it this morning when we were at the breakfast table and Pug San pulled out his$2 pack of camels from Vietnam and then you were like, Jase, get amongst it, mate. Fuck yeah. And then I was like, Jase, no, don't. It was. As you said at the time, it was like the angel and the devil, like literally on its shoulder. And so you can understand how torn I am.

5:59Keyzie:I've got Mogi's sexy, disease-ridden voice on one shoulder, and I've got Kesey's nasally quang on the other. Healthy, smoke-free.

6:09Mike Minogue:I'm like, God. This is interesting, yes, because you listen to Mogi, who's fucked right now. Yeah, he is. And you'd still rather listen to that and be like, Yeah, smoking's a good idea. Yeah, well, of course.

6:19Keyzie:I want to listen to the voice that's telling me I can do something. No matter what state it's in. Yeah, totally. But, yeah, it has triggered me, I must admit. I mean, I can feel it in my lungs as we speak.

6:31Mike Minogue:Can I just get a reading on you before I keep investing money in you? What sort of percentage out of 100, when I say that I'm willing to put money and get behind you, Yeah. How much does that impact your want or desire or ability to give up? Can I just sort of, just before you answer, Jase, do you remember when Jase lied through his teeth earlier this year? Yeah, literally just the other day, yeah. And he said that the reason why he'd given up, and when he said that he was lying to us, was because his daughter had said to him, Dad, you've got to give up. And Jase said, you know what, daughter, you're right, I'm going to.

7:10Well, I never actually said that to her. Yeah, exactly. He lied that he said that to her. Yeah, and that's his daughter. So all of that was a lie, and that was somebody he actually loves. So you think he gives a fuck about you and your$100? I don't think he does.

7:22Keyzie:Keezy, the fact that you're prepared to put$200 up massively influences what I'm going to do.

7:29Mike Minogue:I also love that me backing you up and trying to help you be a healthier person is now turning into you squeezing more money out of me. It's just like...

7:37Keyzie:I don't get any of it should I fail. Do you want me to... Look how happy he is. I don't get a cent of your money. No, but you still have to pay him. Well, no, because you've taken on my bed. No, fuck that. That is fucking bullshit.

7:54Mike Minogue:What are we doing here? This is so bullshit. I feel like I've been brought into a den, like a con artist's den.

8:03Keyzie:It's going to happen, Keezy. It's not... No smoking, no vaping in May. Having said that, I think today... Not even a full stop at that. Having said that, today's a different day and it's April. That's right. Fill your boots. You'd be mad if you didn't.

8:24Mike Minogue:You're such a shocker. He just wants someone to feel like shit like he does. No, no, no, not at all.

8:29Keyzie:I won't feel like shit. I'll feel fantastic. Yeah, he'll be fine. Jase will be fine. I'll be loving it. I think it's good for Jase to be reminded that having a cigarette actually doesn't feel that great. That's true. This is what I'll do. I'll have a cigarette to remind myself of how much, how gross it is.

8:48Mike Minogue:Yeah, right, okay. There you go. Yeah, just one little drink. After all, who should know? Who should care? It's our little secret. I'll just have one little durry. That's a good idea. One beer and one beer. One beer and one beer and one smoke. Yeah, okay. You'll be sweet as this, man. I'll have one.

9:02Keyzie:Well, look. I'll have one night on the Darys oh multiple how about this

9:10Mike Minogue:because I think I'm going to have a cigarette and go that is so foul how about this every dart you have I'm also going to have one sweet with you alright you might get me addicted to Darys you do that whenever you're on the piss anyway only if everyone's doing it

9:27Keyzie:I like the admin I like lighting stuff on fire It's great being down here again, fellow. She's filling up pretty bloody quick again. She is, absolutely. By she, we mean Emerson's.

9:39Mike Minogue:And by filling up, we mean the backbones are pouring in. Yeah, totally. Lots of dudes in their mid-20s, eh? Yeah. You're joking. Yeah, I know. Not a lot of 45-year-olds. Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it?