OUTRO: What Day Is It?

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0:15Mike Minogue:G'day fellas. Hi. Hi. But yeah, Jase, you should consider having protein after golf, man. You should, man. Because it'll help you recover. The next day you won't be as sore. Yeah, well, I mean. Like if you have an up and go and you bring it with you, have it at the very end.

0:32Keyzie:I actually have up and go in my fridge, actually.

0:35Mike Minogue:Well, there you go.

0:35Keyzie:It's one of those things that my wife seems to buy, like a six-pack of them. Is up and go actually good for you? It seems like the sort of thing where it's like framed as being good for you, but it's probably got 900 calories. Yeah, probably. Pretty yummy, though. They're kind of foul. Yeah, yummy. Well, they're not yummy, though. It's got two Weet-Bix in it and some milk. Yeah, all that sort of bullshit. But my wife buys like a six-pack of them, presumably for my daughter, and they just sit in the fridge for like six months, and then we biff him. That's a one.

1:06Mike Minogue:You should definitely have one after golf. You should have one after golf. We're playing golf tomorrow, and Jase is like, should we need a golf cart? Oh, yeah. Because he was so sore after last time walking it. But you guys have been heavily into the carts because of that shithouse course, haven't you? Because it's so... At first we were, and then we started walking it, and then Jase's ankles sore, because it seized up on Friday crossing the road, remember?

1:26Keyzie:Oh, Lordy Jizz. Really did too, actually. It was fucking painful. Yeah. Fair pissing down. I was enjoying that. Yeah. It's like, oh. Out of nowhere. Yeah, good one. Yeah. I was driving home and I text the fellas because I absolutely started pissing it. And I thought, oh, the fellas will be stuck at the lights there.

1:43Mike Minogue:Yes, just as we were crossing the road. And then just as Jase's leg seized up so he couldn't run.

1:48Keyzie:And can I just say that Keezy left me in his wake. So you're on your own, buddy. I did. And then immediately went undercover in a car park. I guess what's interesting about that is I absolutely would have left you behind. Totally. What am I supposed to do? Did you leave him behind? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Well, I ran to the shelter. The way that it was framed, I thought that you were staying out there and suffering with him. No, no, no. So I ran across the road.

2:12Mike Minogue:He hobbled. And then I kept going to the shelter a bit and waited for him. No, he hoggled. And then he hoggled. And then once he caught up to me, I then ran again. And then he hoggled his way to bed again. Yeah, good.

2:22Keyzie:What I anticipated would happen would be that Kesey would cover me with his body while it pelted down, and I writhed in agony on the open road. But it didn't happen. Did that not happen like that? He just bolted. I'm shocked. And yes, I got wet. Did you guys have a great weekend? It's weird, isn't it? It's a fucking what day of the week? It feels like Sunday afternoon. Yeah, today's felt weird all day, actually. The emails have slowed up. I haven't known what to do with myself. What's that about? Yes. Truth. Yeah, good weekend, thanks, Keasy. Great weekend, Keasy, man. Yeah, great. Really, really great.

2:58Keyzie:What about yourself? What about yourself? On the hammer again, weren't you? No, actually, wasn't. Because you're looking a bit under the weather today. Not under the hammer at all.

3:07Mike Minogue:No, not stoned. What I am is I've been at home tinkering, because remember how you made that joke about me not tinkering? Spent the whole morning. Stuck with him. Yes. I was like, I'll show you. I want to fucking tinker. That's so good. But I spent the whole morning in the garage working on my bike and my truck and stuff. And then all of a sudden I looked at my watch and it was half past one. And I was like, fuck, I've got to go to work soon. Right. And so I had lunch really quick. I had a shower, came into work. What did you have for lunch? Guess. I didn't just stop getting it. Oh, really? Eating noodles?

3:37Oh, you do, man. That's bad. I can't have it that often because I get sick of it. Yeah, I don't. To be fair.

3:43Keyzie:I need a bit of a break.

3:44Mike Minogue:I'd have it about once a week, I reckon. Yeah, we do too at the moment.

3:47Keyzie:And my daughter's over it. We had eaten noodles on Friday. As I've previously said, we eat it all weekend.

3:56Mike Minogue:Yeah, right. So you order heaps of it.

3:57Keyzie:Well, no, not even heaps of it. It's just that my wife's got a reasonable appetite, but I eat like a sparrow. Oh, garbage guts. So I can have like three dumplings and a bowl of rice, and that's me done. Right.

4:08Mike Minogue:Doesn't that suck? No.

4:10Keyzie:How good is it? It's great because then you get to enjoy some more later. Yeah, for lunch the next day, Moogie. It's good shit.

4:17Mike Minogue:But like, you know, because eating is a great joy in life And you only get to have like five mouthfuls And then you're full and that's it So that's his normal Yeah, I know You're comparing it to your normal Which is like 50 mouthfuls Yeah, exactly But he's got a smaller mouth He's only a little I'm only a little fellow, Keezy I don't know, he's got a pretty fucking big mouth If you ask me

4:40Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki The Hauraki Big Show Podcast

4:48Keyzie:But no, it was a good weekend and my wife's in a play at the moment Oh, is she? Yeah

4:54Mike Minogue:We should go watch Yeah, fucking where's that? I told my wife that we'd go watch her in the play Nah Is your wife in a play, Keezy? Huh? You told your wife that you'd go and watch her in a play? Yeah

5:04Keyzie:Shit Is this another one of your weird sexual scenarios? Jase, when is the play? Who would like to come watch? It's at Titarangi Theatre Oh, tits The old tits there. Old titties. And I actually did say to her, I said.

5:18Mike Minogue:Jace's wife's in a play at the titties.

5:21Keyzie:I said to my wife, actually, the fellas are pretty keen to come along. And she went, oh, fuck, really?

5:26Mike Minogue:Yeah.

5:26Keyzie:And I said, yeah. 100%. I told Lucy about it.

5:30Mike Minogue:And she was like, I'd love to go. We could go have dinner. Is that Lady Chatterley's lover?

5:35Keyzie:No. It's a bit of a chick thing, I think. Oh, fuck. Is that what I'm going to miss?

5:41Mike Minogue:Legally blonde or something like that. No, no.

5:43Keyzie:You know, woman talking about their lives type thing. I mean, honestly.

5:48Mike Minogue:What would you do if we went and it was just women talking about their lives? Jason's wife slagging him off that stage. I'd love that. That would be very funny. Yeah, if it wasn't fictional, if it was the truth. Yeah, yeah. What, do you know what it's called, man? Come on, Jesus. Because that way the audience can Google it and go along and watch your wife.

6:05Keyzie:It's written by a New Zealander called Elizabeth Esther. You know the playwright? That's a good start, man. But the name just escapes me as we sit here chatting. Okay, then.

6:19Mike Minogue:Have you had to help her practice lines?

6:20Keyzie:Not yet. But you will? I've made myself available, and I constantly remind her I'm a well-known actor and top radio DJ. You are, man. That's the thing about you. I'm just looking up what it might be. Sorry, because of what I know. How long does it run for? Not long, I wouldn't have thought. Is it a Titarangi Playhouse? Yeah, Titarangi Playhouse. Two weeks.

6:42Mike Minogue:Because she was actor of the year in the 90s, wasn't she?

6:44Keyzie:Yeah, film and television, yes. She won best actor for Crush.