OUTRO: What's On The Tin

0:00Mike Minogue:Do you want to do the potty now, Jase, or are you... Yeah, man. Yeah, what's wrong with you, man? Nothing. I'm good. You don't have to do it if you're going to be in a hurry. Did you book tickets? I'll get into it. For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok. Or Raw Dogget. Four to seven every weekday on Radio Horeke.

0:24Keyzie:Oh, g'day, fellas. Mac man. Hello.

0:30Mike Minogue:You booked tickets, Jase, man? I mean, it's done, man.

0:32Keyzie:For the play? Yeah. No, not yet. Yeah. Maybe tomorrow night. Ooh. Someone out tomorrow night. Yeah, maybe. It is. But unfortunately, because my wife's keen too. Yes. But unfortunately, she's kind of busy at the moment for tonight. Yes. So maybe Saturday? Saturday, Sunday, and Tuesday. Oh, it is Sunday. Oh, okay, good. Yes. Yeah, no, we will. Maybe it's a matinee on a Cindy or something. Maybe a five o 'clock or something like that. This is the play I went to last night Keezy Play Fight Which is from Silo Theatre Which is the same joint that did A View from the Bridge, Jase Right Having a hell of a run They are Jeez, it was good Shit, it was good Jeez, Louise Shit, it was good And you should try and get your daughter to go as well My daughter?

1:19Absolutely, you should It's a big call But, well, I think she'd find it worthwhile She'd probably best if she doesn't sit next to you Right She probably wouldn't want to anyway There's sexual content in there. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, no, because maybe your daughter's going. No, I'm just saying, oh, yeah, okay.

1:35Keyzie:I'm just acknowledging that there's sexual content. So maybe she would sit away from you. But it's a pretty out of a set-up. It's in the round. Right. But it's in like an old church or something. In the round. Does that mean they're performing in the middle? That's right. Yes. Same as the other one, actually, if you're from the bridge. That was more in the rectangle. It was in the rectangle. In the square. Come on, man. Andy. But it's in like an old, I don't even know what the building used to be, but maybe it's a church kesey. Church kesey. Oh, church kesey they call it. I'd sign up for church kesey.

2:05Keyzie:Yeah, because I think, because I was talking to my wife about it last night, I think the silo must jump around a bit. I think they've got this place and they haven't been there very long. Right, okay. Because I've never heard of it up on K Road. No, no, apparently it's pretty new, but it looks like an old town hall in the middle of nowhere. Nice. Like rural New Zealand or something like that. But very weird. And then the whole place is lit. So you're lit the same as the, not that kind of lit, Keezy. Oh, like lights. The lights, yeah. I mean, you could be if you wanted to be. Absolutely you could.

2:34But the same as the actors, you know. So you can see all the audience, which is a bit disconcerting.

2:39Keyzie:It would be if I was acting. Yeah. I'd hate that. Yeah. One of the things, Keezy. Oh, hello. One of the bonuses when you're on stage. You can't see anyone. Yeah, generally speaking, you're blinded by the stage lights. So you said that.

2:53Mike Minogue:And then I still remember when I did my first stand-up at Sky City Theatre and I could see you guys. Everybody's stony faces.

2:59Keyzie:I could see all of you guys. I remember actually the first play I ever did, Showboat, and my director telling me the same thing and saying, Jase, you're not going to actually see in the audience because you're blinded by the lights when you go on stage and stuff. And I went, oh, okay. Opening night saw every fucking face there was to see. I think the trick is to look into the lights, not into the audience. It was like, and it was a big crowd too. It was like four, five hundred people. So you were shitting yourself.

3:29Mike Minogue:I remember when we did our Night of Culture, the comedy performance we did last year. As soon as I came out and lay on the ground, because it starts with a mime sequence that I used to do. Yes. As soon as I lay on the ground, I had a quick sneak peek, and all I could see was Tony Lyle sitting at the front on the end. That's right. He snuck in there, didn't he? Who was a comedian himself. So it's like, oh, I wonder who's in there. Oh, cool. A comedian, great. Yeah, yeah. So that threw me off.

3:53Keyzie:Yeah. The worst kind of audience is, especially for stand-up, is comedians, generally speaking.

3:58Mike Minogue:But they all go and support themselves, support their mates, though, right? Yeah, yeah. Some do, yeah.

4:01Keyzie:Yeah, others boo.

4:02Mike Minogue:But at that awards night the other night, there were a big crew of them all applauding heaps.

4:06Keyzie:I remember Johnny and I. I bet you guys are horrible. Doing a show in Melbourne. Yes. And there were eight. Count them. Kiwi comedians in the audience, and you'd know them well. Really? Not a tatter. Is that their fault or yours? It was a fucking good show. Right. Apparently not. Not a tatter. They were probably on LSD. And it was so disconcerting. We were like, what the fuck is going on?

4:36Mike Minogue:Can we name names here? No, we can't. Right, okay. And you were certain that your show was good?

4:41Keyzie:It was a good show, yeah.

4:43Mike Minogue:All right. Was it a jolly good show?

4:45Keyzie:I don't know, jolly good, but it was a good. But, you know, it's one of those scenarios where if you're not getting anything from the audience and you're doing comedy, it gets harder and harder as the show goes on. So were they the only ones in the audience? Yes. Yeah, there was eight of them.

4:59Mike Minogue:Wait, wait, so you were doing it just to the eight Kiwi comedians? Yes. Oh, well, that's a difference.

5:04Keyzie:We did another show where – Well, because they were the only ones that turned up. You wouldn't do it for them fuckers. Then if there was the only one – What are you doing? But then we also had a show where there were only four women in the audience who sat in the front row. So that's where Johnny did the big spread eagle leg thing and his fatos fell out.

5:23Mike Minogue:His actual fatos.

5:24Keyzie:His true story, and they just cracked up laughing. That's disconcerting too when you've got four women in a front row all cracking up laughing at your cock.

5:33Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

5:41Keyzie:They were giggling their whole way through the show. We felt like strippers, like bad strippers. But also because your show involved a lot of stripping

5:48Mike Minogue:as well.

5:49Keyzie:And they were just giggling the whole way through it. We were like, fuck, this is weird. You would feel like a stripper if you got your dick out in front of a full woman. It's just that he was wearing tights, but he was wearing boxes, not underwear. And he does this big spread-eagle Shakespearean thing, and the boxes opened up. And his fatos came forth. And then he realised what he'd done and immediately clutched himself and stared at me. did you carry on yeah what do you do sorry John got his cock out yeah good stuff we've got that on video too oh have you yeah someone was videoing we need to clip that up

6:30Mike Minogue:can you put it up on Insta I'll ask John would love that 100 % man 100 % what do you goose anyway but back to that just because I do want to promo it it's got Mirabai Peas Peas oh god Liv Parker who's on Celebrity Treasure Island there and Anna Scottney and it was brilliant. Five Buzzy's Get Along. It finishes on Wednesday, I think. Good stuff, man. I'm not really telling you guys, but the audience, you know. Yeah, right. Because I know you won't go, Kesey. You'll hate it. You wouldn't understand. I'm actually going to a show this weekend. Oh, right. I'm going to a show. A friend of mine is in a show.

7:10Mike Minogue:She's in a musical. Oh, God. Can we put this on the show? And so this is why we are heading down. No. and so this is why we're heading down home ways because she's in a show and we've always wanted to watch her in a show because I know that she's a very very talented performer she's got a great voice and it's musical got a bad feeling and we caught up with her the other night we're like hey bought tickets to your show and she's just like oh god the whole thing's been an absolute debacle the director's this person's sick this person here's been put in she's intentionally not letting this person do that and she's like the whole thing has been the worst show experience of my life.

7:48Mike Minogue:So she's shifting blame onto those around her. No, because she's always wanted us to come see a show. And she did Cats and a few other ones.

7:56Keyzie:And now she's freaking out that you're actually coming to see her. She wasn't freaking out.

8:00Mike Minogue:She's literally like, so now you know who to look out for. Look out for this girl. Look out for this girl. And when the director comes out, you boo her. Right. Because it sounds like she's a nut.

8:07Keyzie:It sounds like your classic sort of production, really. Yeah. God, it sounds terrible. Always fucking drama.

8:13Mike Minogue:And you're not getting paid for it. She's driving an hour to get to it every however many days for rehearsal. Wow. It sounds like an absolute shambles, but she'll be good at it. Yeah. She's good, but I was just like. Well, we'll see. But now I'm more excited to see it.

8:26Keyzie:Did your wife forgive you when you got home for dissing the meal? Her meal, her box? Her burrito in a bowl?

8:33Mike Minogue:She said, what's wrong with burrito bowls? And I just said, they're fine. I'd just rather it in a wrap. And then I opened the wraps and I had that. And then, good news, fellas, there was leftover mints, so we're having it again tonight. Yeah, good. What are you guys buying, like half a kilo? Half a kilo of mints. I tell you, fellas. And then you pour tinned corn into it and tinned beans. Oh, no. And then you mix in like a burrito mix and some stock. No, I'll stop you there. You serve that shit up when we come over to your joint, Keezy, I'll be fuming. I'm going to. Tinned corn. What, tinned corn kernels?

9:07I hadn't, yeah, I'm not a fan of tinned corn. Anything pretty much. Any vegetable tinned I'm not a fan of. You're like in a spout of goose. Fuck you guys are fussy. It's not fuss. It seems like it. I don't mind a kidney bean that's tinned. Well, that's right. I mean, I don't think I've had a kidney bean any other way. No.

9:24Keyzie:Could I say that? You can buy them dry, of course, and then moisturise them yourself.