OUTRO: Windows? In A House?!

0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Dog It. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horeke. Yeah, fellas, yeah, we're back, baby. Keyzie, Keyzie, Keyzie.

0:21Keyzie:I've got to say, what a sorry-ass bunch of bastards I'm looking at today. I disagree. Brand new, man, 100%, 100 % mogi. That's what they call me 100 % On Tuesday Maybe Tuesday or Wednesday They call me that Yes G'day fellas How we going Good spirits man Good spirits Yeah good So how you going Keezy A bit quiet there

0:40Mike Minogue:Yeah no not very good Oh That's all G though Yeah Not because I was caning it either I had a very small weekend actually I had a very Just stay at home Doing nothing weekend You couldn't handle Wellington man It broke you It broke me It absolutely snapped you in too Well this is the second time I've done a live show And then someone's got me sick Straight away Right The last time was when I was going to Bali and someone at the Dunedin live show was sick and then I got it for the first like five days and then you got swimmer's ear then I got swimmer's ear but this time I got it I woke up this morning with an earache oh shit but I sprayed some swimmer's ear stuff in there anyway just in case just in case yeah yeah and then I googled it do you think it was

1:21Keyzie:the hot chilli shot you seem to go downhill from there really nah actually I think that would have the what the chilli dog yeah the hot chilli dog The chilli dog on the live show there. Nah, it wasn't. We've got a bit to work through, I guess, don't we? In the show, we can eke this shit out. Yeah. You know, it's interesting, because I said to my wife,

1:42Keyzie:because we were playing golf today, Keezy and I, I said to my wife this afternoon, I've got a feeling Keezy's not going to play golf tomorrow. Did you actually say that? I did, yeah. And then I woke up this morning, and there was a message from Keezy. So he's a bit under the weather, he can't do it. And I was like, oh, bugger. It's a nice day for it, too. It was a beautiful day.

1:59Mike Minogue:And to be honest, I - It wasn't too bad.

2:01Keyzie:Did you order a cart, by the way? Yeah, I was still going to play.

2:03Mike Minogue:And I was like, I'll order a cart. Because I know that Jase really wants to play with old Keezy. Yeah, he does, doesn't he? I was like, I'll book a fucking cart. Because I wouldn't be able to get around walking. I'll be gassed. And then, yeah, I didn't sleep at all last night until about 5 a.m. Right. And one of the things that helped me sleep like a baby was texting Jase, saying I'm not playing golf, and booking a restaurant that my wife and I had been discussing whether or not we should book it. And for some reason, I was just awake thinking about this restaurant, and whether I should book it.

2:28Mike Minogue:Right. And then you just do those two things out like a light. Good stuff.

2:32Keyzie:Interesting though. I think we should have some sleep chat because I seem to have, not now, but at some stage, I seem to have gone into a new weird zone in my sleeping. Okay, yeah. Which I'm not happy about. Just send it through the chat, man. I'll send it through to the chat. Sleep chat. I'm in a shit period as well with my sleep, but I get to blame my landlord for that. Yes. What's wrong with your landlord? Oh, the curtains. Curtains. No curtains over the fucking windows. You've got to wear an eye mask, Moggy. Come on, man. Well, no, I've got an eye mask there, but that's not how it works. Your bedroom should be dark.

3:01Totally, totally. Or at least dark-ish. And I do wear an eye mask, but I'm getting in touch with him to sort it out because it's fucking ridiculous. You've got curtains over most of the windows.

3:13Keyzie:Actually, that's an interesting point, Moggy. You've just reminded me of renting my place out. Curtains are a big thing. You're probably going to want to have windows at your house as well. Yeah, well, apparently that's what fucking took me back. It's like windows? You have to have windows in your house. What the fuck's that about?

3:28Mike Minogue:Yeah. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show with Jace, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at four on Radio Hauraki. But don't you have a sun lounge that's all window? Yeah, pretty much actually. So that's the window room, right? So if you want windows, you go in the sun lounge.

3:47Keyzie:You just go into the sun lounge there and you get all the windows, you know, fill your boots. Yes. With windows. With windows. The problem we have with curtains is that my wife likes to make, or she doesn't like to make curtains, but she's very good at making curtains, but she can't be fucked making curtains. You can spend$50 and buy some. Because it annoys her. But then there's all the weird measurements. No, there's not. You can't quite get the right curtain for the right size window. What are you talking about? There's so many complicated things. But I'm going to have a word with your landlord and fucking just give them a piece of my mind.

4:23Well, I'd just be able to Google it and find out whether they're meant to have curtains or not. I'd be surprised if the answer's no. Yes, you are. Yeah, thanks.

4:30Keyzie:Having gone through all the requirements of a rental property, you do require curtains and good quality ones.

4:35Mike Minogue:Thanks, man. Well, that's weird because my last rental before we moved into the place that we bought was it had kids' curtains everywhere, pink ones with like even in the kitchen. So what they've done is gone, fuck, we need curtains. What is the cheapest curtain we can get? And they just put that in every single room and it was kids, bright pink and purple, like polka dot curtains. Yeah, how good. It did nothing.

4:55Keyzie:Well, it says nothing about them being aesthetically pleasing. They just have to get the warmth in. It's up to you whether you rent the joint or not, isn't it? And as you guys know, when I'm making love, I like an audience, so we don't have any curtains in our bedroom at all. You guys haven't done a performance for longer than fucking Oasis. Your neighbours are going to be dying for a comeback, brother. Oh, they are, man. They're hanging tough on the audience.

5:18Mike Minogue:But they were like stage curtains. red ones that opened and then a spotlight came on. Yeah, big velvet bastards. Yeah. How was your weekend though, Jase? You went to the batch, man.

5:28Keyzie:It was beautiful, thank you. I'll talk about it in the show. It was beautiful, man. We made one major blooper on the food front, i.e. we had none. Yeah. But apart from that, it was great. It was really nice. Oh, that's good, man. Because it was meant to be a bit of rain over the weekend and we went, oh, fuck it, let's just do it anyway. And then it didn't eventuate? It didn't eventuate at all. Classic Auckland. It was glorious weather. Auckland is shit like that yeah man yeah I've just asked ChatGPT I'm starting to get quite an antagonistic relationship with ChatGPT because it's getting fucking dumber they've changed the model they've upgraded you know they've delivered the latest one I've gone back to the old one but I just asked are landlords required to supply curtains in your house and it said depends where you live

6:14in New Zealand ABCD in Australia it's like I've been talking to you for over a year you know where I live you know all of that and now you're wasting my time with that shit but I've got to be careful because I've started getting abusive towards it oh no so in 10 years time when the robots turn on us I just called it a fucking idiot and I don't know how helpful that is what did it say? what if that starts coming he goes got it New Zealand only but it is annoying because it never used to be like that now it's getting dumber so if anybody out there knows why that's happening well it's probably learning from me that's probably the problem yes Am I right?

6:49I'd say that's the problem.

6:50Keyzie:Did you do your, the kids thing, the baby shower? No, I was sick. How good. I was talking to somebody else. That was a silver lining. They were going to a baby shower. A couple of mates of the dude I was staying with down in Wellington rang up for a year and they were off to a baby shower. They couldn't quite believe it either.

7:11Mike Minogue:Because Lucy was, it was like the morning, it was Saturday morning and I was not on a good way. and I was just sitting on the couch watching a replay of Melbourne v. Canterbury Bulldogs. Great game. Who won? And Melbourne. And my wife was like, are you sure you should go to this baby shower? I hadn't even thought about it. I was like, there's going to be little kids there, like pregnant ladies, old people are going to be there. And I was just like, oh my God, no, I definitely shouldn't go to this baby shower. You're right, I'm not going. And then she was just like, oh, I suppose if you had, and I was just like, no, what you've done now is realize that you have to go on your own and now you're like oh you would rather the pregnant lady got sick as a dog than go to this thing by yourself that's right what a backbone yeah yeah and then i was like no you know and i was like if this was your baby shower and and someone showed up that sounded like i did because my voice was fucked for like a week um that made it sound even worse and didn't end up going so it's a shame missed out on the baby shower as soon as she got home she's like oh i would have been you would have hated it in your current state there's just kids running around screaming and you know chatting about babies and yeah yeah fun yeah man yeah good stuff do you know how much energy it took me to tell that i've got like five percent of my energy reserves and that's the best i've got you got a big show in front of you as well yeah it's gonna be a fun part i've taken away my stopwatch which is

8:33Keyzie:fucking awesome well we should actually tell the audience too they've done a massive cleanup in the studio i'm actually finding it slightly disconcerting it's great uh there's no filth or stuff in the studio at all it's been cleared out finish your shift yeah well i'll make sure i deposit a bit of filth around the place well it's funny because i was talking to mania um

8:53Mike Minogue:and i was like uh because he was talking about them clearing out the studio and i was like um when you come in the morning does jason have shit left there and he's just like yeah 100 % like half filled glasses of water and stuff. That's bullshit. I hope it's screwed up things of our rundown, Jase, which you don't argue with. Occasionally I might do that, but I do not leave my water glass and there's no other filth. But Mania's like, so does he think that I come in and half fill a glass of water and like leaving coffee cups and stuff around, he only uses the same coffee cup. It's a Star Wars one.

9:25Mike Minogue:Well, it's not Jase because Jase doesn't drink coffee. No, no, no, no, no, no. But Jase accuses them of doing that.

9:29Keyzie:Well, there's like four or five bloody cups on the bottom, I think. And that is true because I have seen that.

9:33Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know whose those are. But, yeah, I was like, yeah, every day I come in and I play, where the fuck has Jase put my headphones and what has he left on my desk? I don't have his headphones. It's because you unplug them and plug your ones in. I always leave those there. There? Yes.

9:48Keyzie:Well, where else am I going to put them? That's a good question.

9:50Mike Minogue:We're going to start monitoring it, though, we decided. Sure. Okay, so just.

9:53Keyzie:I need to be verified in my vehement opposition to his accusations.

9:59Mike Minogue:So for the next month, man, just best behavior, right? Nah. It's good stuff. can you grab our mate man cheers brother hey thanks for listening to the big show podcast man this show hopefully will be better than this 47 every weekday what do you mean man