OUTRO: Zinc On Ya Face

0:00Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggy. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Hoda Aircare. Yeah man, g'day fellas. Fellas? Hi Jase. Oh, here we are. Keyzie, have you gone downhill man? What do you mean? You seem worse than you were this morning. Yeah, you seem tickety-boo this one. I was quite surprised. And now it feels like you've disintegrated. Well, it's because first thing in the morning after a hangover, you're a piece of shit. You're still a bit pissed. You have some water. You have a brekkie. You have a coffee. And you're like, all right, sweet.

0:38And then you sit down at NZME Wellington on a couch for half an hour and switch off. And now I'm a piece of shit. Yeah. But I'm having a coffee. It should be sweet as, fellas. Oh, a coffee will do it, man. That's for sure.

0:49Keyzie:Yeah, I've overdone the coffees. It's my first one, Jason. First one this day, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck, I've had four, which is not good. And then when you add in six oysters on top of my buffet breakfast, I'm feeling slightly nauseous, to be honest. But really horny. Horny. And anxious. Me? Horny. Do you actually, genuinely, because you've eaten six oysters, do you feel slightly... It's complete bullshit. Is it? Yes. No, I don't feel any kind of... It is fucking rubbish. Maybe we should test it. I haven't felt horny in like five years, Keezy. Yeah, it's been ages. I'm dead down there.

1:27Keyzie:It's just... If you say old ram cast or back paddock... It's just, you know, it's just... That side of me is disinterested these days. Do you reckon we should... I don't know how you'd test it, but do you reckon we should get all the stuff that they say is an aphrodisiac? Mogi's resting his legs up on my chair. It's very comfortable, man. I need somewhere to put my feet. He just wants to lie down. Sitting's not going to do it. But, yeah, we could have a couple of dozen Keezy just absolutely battering each other. I don't know where it comes from, actually. What, the horniness? The whole idea that there's an aphrodisiac.

2:02In fact, any aphrodisiac I've never found to be particularly arousing.

2:07Keyzie:I'm the same, Maggie. I mean, I used to seek out aphrodisiacs and never did anything to me. Mind you, I didn't need them back being Keezy. There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness. There must be something to it, though. because I know a lot of Chinese medicines and stuff, it's like eat the testicles off of something or the horn off something. Yes. And it's good for... But it must be a thing. Doesn't it like rhino horn or something? Gets you really horny? Does it? Yeah. Just poach a rhino so you can get horny. Well, the oysters are high in zinc. They're one of the richest natural sources of zinc and it's a critical mineral for testosterone production and sperm health.

2:52Okay? Oh, wow. Low zinc is linked to reduced libido and fertility.

2:57Keyzie:Right, okay. I might go to the chemist and start getting some zinc products. Feelers? Putting zinc all over your face. Totally. Well, I mean, if I... I'm not going to say that. Oh, God. I just know what this day is going to be like. The Hauraki Big Show Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki The Hauraki Big Show With Jace, Mike and Keezy Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki But anyway For those listening Just so you know We're in the Wellington offices studio We've never broadcast from here before And it's the day after the live show We've been to Beirvana All of us are slightly dusty And we've just spent quite a bit of time there Around a whole lot of people just on the piss Well Jace isn't dusty I'm actually not dusty, Keezy.

3:46I'm just horny. I kind of wish you were dusty. Yeah, and so... Why?

3:50Keyzie:Because you're finding me... I think Keezy's finding me really annoying today. You are really annoying today. You're so annoying. I don't know, like, just... Because I'm full of beans. No, you're not. He's like, I really want a cold Coke. And then we get up here, and he looks in the fridge. He's like, oh, is there any Coke here? And the lady's like, no, because it's just our personal food. She's like, literally, there's a two-four down right there. He's like, oh, no, don't worry about it. but he's been bitching about wanting a Coke. It's like, look, Jase, we've got half an hour. There's a place right there.

4:18He's like, nah. And then Dilly goes to walk out, and then Jase says, oh, where are you going, Dilly? And he's like, to the toilet. He's like, oh, I thought you might be going to get a Coke.

4:27Keyzie:Having said that, Dilly just did go and get Mogi a coffee. And Keezy. And Keezy. No, he got his own. Oh, right. Dilly got his own. He's Insta boy. Nah, I wouldn't send the web guy to get me a coffee. That's diva shit. I'm a backbone, man. But having said that, it's a beautiful day in Wellington. It really is. It actually is a lovely day. And the studio we're in has got a magnificent view. Really does. I'm liking it. So last night, that was the first time I've been to an OB and drunk at it. Yes. And stayed till the bitter end. I got thrown out, actually. I was the last one there. Wow. Holy cow.

5:00What time did it close? I think midnight. Right. But you would have been with Wadi, right? The guy who runs it. He was gone. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, really? That's good effort. Yeah. But they literally had to pretty much throw us out. Mogey, get your ass out of here. Enjoy it, mate. See you later, fella. But yeah, it was fucking punishing. It was good. It was good. It was good, but it was punishing. Yeah. There was a great father and son, or two boys and their old man. Oh, lovely, lovely guys. They come over from Napier. Yeah. Their old man there, he got fucking hammered. Did he? He was, I don't know.

5:38I think legless is an appropriate description of it. Wow. Okay. They were like, oh, Maggie, when do you see the old man? Man, he's steamed. And he was. He was all over the show. Yeah. Had to chuck him in an Uber and send him home. Isn't that so great, though? The old boy, his two sons, they go over, join in a big night, have a fucking ripper of a time. The old boy gets steamed. Like, that's awesome. That's good shit. The boys were stoked. Yeah. They were also steamed as, as well. They were steamed, yeah, but the dad was on next level. That's fucking great. It's good stuff. That's good bonding.

6:11That's family shit. It's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Getting steamed together. I reckon it is. Because I've never been steamed with my dad before. Because the age difference. Well, he drinks responsibly, eh? Well, he does now. Yeah, he didn't used to. Right. But the age difference. And so when I first started drinking, I was at that age where I didn't want to be seen dead with my parents. Yeah. And then you eventually come to the point where you actually really want to, and then they're a bit older and they don't drink as much anymore. Yeah. I'd love to get steamed with my dad. Yeah.

6:40Keyzie:Why don't we get your dad up here? have a bit of a curry night and get on the steam with Keezy's dad. So the first time I get steamed with my dad is with you guys. Yeah. Well, that might encourage him a bit more. He might be more interested in that, Keezy. Yeah, he might. How cool. The thing with him, from like 40 years of working with sheet metal and stuff, he's got arthritis, so he has this medication, which means he can't drink. He can only drink, I think, once a month or something, and he has to drink light beers. So he's got all these parameters around him. And so he always saves it for when I'm coming down to Tauranga.

7:14But he'll always only have maybe like five beers. Right. You know? So we could get him up, fill him with butter chicken, get Mogi and Hoody J down, get on the lash. They'll both be like, actually, we're not drinking, fellas. Yeah, not drinking. And then it'll be like, actually, I'm going to turn. I've got some work to do or something. And Jase will be like, I'm going for a walk in my way. Yeah, I'll take my laptop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll be sick, man. They'd love it. Yes. Or G, Mogi? Yeah.

7:41Keyzie:I'm just looking at all the apartments across the way there and wondering if I, because, you know, I'm looking at apartments at the moment, whether I could live in one of those. You don't want to live there, man. No, I'm just thinking, especially there, I'm looking at, you'd be just, you're looking at a wall across from you. It wouldn't be that cool. Well, we used to refer to that because we put a lot of people in there for movies. Yeah, where are you talking about? This one right here. Oh, yes. I won't mention the name of it. But crew members and actors as well, and we used to call it Absalom.

8:11it's like a really metal clang, clang, clang on the foreground when you're walking along it's super noisy and it's yeah, it's a bit of a shitter yes actually that woman that I pointed out on the billboard yesterday oh yeah yes that was who I dealt with for that Mogi, being back down here has it made you think fuck man I need to come back to Wellington and live here no, no because all of my mates are saying don't do it yeah all of my mates down here are like it's a shithole man yeah The weather, they're just like, no, the weather's no good. But it was great yesterday because I had like five mates that I went to school with.

8:47So a lot of guys there I've known since I was five. Awesome. So that was good. Yeah, and had a great year until then.

8:53Keyzie:Have they aged well? Yeah, they have. Yeah, they're all doing really well. Yeah, good. Yeah, every one of them. You know, and this is the thing. Auckland gets a lot of shit thrown its way, but Auckland, I have always maintained, is a great city. It's a good city, man. Totally. It is. Well, I only live in my suburb. People complain about the travel. I'd never go anywhere. I tell you one thing that's always, you know, really got deep inside my goat about Wellington is the fucking road system. Yeah, it sucks ass. It's just horrendous. Yeah, one ways. Yes. And, like, that tunnel. Everything going through that tunnel is bullshit.

9:28It's bullshit, fellas.

9:34Yeah, right. I found the roads here pretty sweet. Yeah. Oh shit, the music's playing fellas

9:41Keyzie:We made it, we made it boys We've only got a full radio show for three hours It's gotta be, I reckon Radio Awards stuff Zoe who's on the other end of the line there Just get ready to package it all up Send it straight to the Radio Awards I might go and get a Coke actually Yeah sure you will Hey listen to the big show It's 4pm till 7pm every single weekday on Radio Hoda Thanks for coming out to the show yesterday as well Yeah, it was awesome we'll definitely be back down to Wellington alright see ya bye