THE DISCLAIMER: A Different Time

0:00Mike Minogue:Renting a car always feels like a bit of a battle, but in the stuffy, slow-paced world of car rentals, Snap is in a league of its own. So it's no surprise that Snap is the official car rental partner of the One New Zealand Warriors. When you rent with Snap, you're helping support the team that brings us all together, sweet as. For your next adventure, choose a car rental company that backs our boys. Visit snaprentals.co.nz. Snap. Simply better car rental. For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Dog It, 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horeki.

0:45Oh! Oh! Man! Can you hear the phlegm in there, can't you? Oh!

0:53Keyzie:G'day, fellas.

0:55Mike Minogue:Hello. How's life? This is the first I've spoken. 15 minutes ago I said something to Pugs. It was the first words I'd said today. Wow. Because I've been at home alone. It feels weird.

1:08Keyzie:Yeah, it does sometimes, isn't it? I'm often surprised by the sound of my own voice. Because you just start chatting to yourself, don't you? Yeah. People won't know this, but you are often practising lines and things, sort of walking around the studio here muttering to yourself. Yes. Practising lines and things. Funnily enough, Moggy, funnily enough, since you've been saying that, my wife is currently, she's about to do an audition for something. Yeah. And she's been muttering lines to herself. And I keep going, and I said to her today, what are you doing? And she said, doing a hoity J.

1:46Mike Minogue:100 % she is.

1:47Keyzie:And I went, what? And she went, doing what you do. And I went, oh, okay. Yeah.

1:52Mike Minogue:Does she call you hoity J? Sometimes. Just to reinforce a bit of radio tea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good shit. Yes, but you'd often do it, especially if you've got the top of, so for example, if it's a goat, something like that. You know, if there's a big announcement thing, a big break? Oh, yes, yes. Or it was always at the start, your first sentence is for the Black Clash? Yes. You'll always be running that one, running that one, running. Yep. Red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather.

2:19Keyzie:It was very, very common for me pre-audition to just be walking along saying my lines out loud. When you learn your lines, do you put anything on it or are you just learning the words? Or are you learning how you'll say it as well, the intonation? I'm initially learning the words. Yeah. And then I make sure that I say it out loud. Because often when you, and I've spoken to you about this, Keezy, I don't know if you heard. How many times has he told you? What is it again, say it? You've got to say the lines out loud because when I first started off acting and doing auditions, I'd just learn the lines quietly in my head.

3:01Keyzie:And then I'd do the audition and I'd say the words out loud and go, oh, is that what it sounds like? And actually kind of throw myself.

3:08Mike Minogue:But you need a private space. I can't even, like, when I've done my auditions and I'm practising my lines, I can't even have my wife with an air shot. She has to be, like, out of the house. Same, generally speaking. I'm the same. Early on, it's certainly like that. It's embarrassing. It's just weird. I just feel like I can't relax and do it.

3:24Keyzie:Yeah, yeah, yeah. But even I used to do that with stand-up comedy. I used to be saying my lines as I was walking into the club.

3:31Mike Minogue:And would you make sure you're doing it in an empty room?

3:34Keyzie:No, just on the street. It was a happy coincidence. Just on the, you know, at the lights. Oh, yeah. Muttering to himself. At the lights, yes. And then somebody would give him two bucks. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah. Do you remember the$1 and$2 notes, Jase? I do. Really? Did you keep many? Was the$1 note brown? The$1 note was a sort of a weird... Beige? Beige-y. It was white, creamy, and then the writing was slightly darker than that. I've never seen one. The$2 note was a purpley, sort of bluish colour. Oh, yeah, that's right. Purpley, bluish hue. I kept them for many years when they got rid of them. the great travesty of course being that and you knew this would happen was that lollies at the shop used to be one cent each.

4:25Yeah. So you would go to the shop with your one dollar and you would get 100 lollies. Yeah. That's what we call good eating. Yeah, totally man. And then they got rid of the one and the two cent pieces which of course is slightly different and you're on to your fives. It was one lolly for five. and they started because that was my great concern, Keezy. And they said, oh, no, it'll be five. And then before you know it, three for five. And then very soon after that, they're fucking robbing you, man. See,$100 to$20.

4:55Mike Minogue:Yeah. See, when I was at school,$20 for a dollar was like good. I was like, fuck yeah. What's in$100? I don't know what it is now. Probably half that. Oh, pretty bad, yeah. When I was at school. When I was at school? I didn't even have school.

5:09Keyzie:And I used to buy my lunch occasionally, and I've said this before, and I'm just trying to remember, actually. A pie, a packet of chicken chips, and a donut. And a raspberry bun. Oh, you go down that. And a donut was like 20 cents or 50 cents. I can't remember. 20 or 50. Fuck, that's good, eh? Maybe 50.

5:30Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Oh, g'day, mate. Oh, hi, mate. Yeah. Look, if you want the chance to win all our on-air competitions and stuff and get amongst the live conversation, tune in to the Hauraki Big Show, four to seven weekdays on Radio Hauraki and iHeartRadio. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. Remember going to the movies was$1.25. That was the cheapest I remember that being. Yeah. $1.25. Doesn't that feel like it must have been 1927? Yes. Fuck you. The pictures. It really does. We go to the pictures. Yeah. It really does feel like that. There's no sound. Well, it's weird because I'm already starting to catch myself saying shit that my dad used to say to me.

6:19Mike Minogue:Yes. Like when I was a boy, all this was just farmland. Yeah, exactly. I say that all the time about shit. I remember my old man took us around when we were young, around Wellington to his old haunts where he was growing up, and just got himself into a fury about how things have changed. Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah. You know, this is, ah. So it just turned into a really miserable experience.

6:44Keyzie:I'm in this situation now where I'm seeing my wife and I through my daughter's eyes. Yeah. You know what I mean? And going, oh, fuck, we're turning into those old people. What are you doing? I don't even really, I can't really describe it, Keezy, but just being der brains. Well, I can give you a couple of options. Number one, what's really great that's just started happening is my daughter imitates us now. Does she? So we've become, we obviously say things the same way all the time and repeat ourselves in a way, you know? Like you've got quotes and she mocks us.

7:21Mike Minogue:She'll come out every morning and you'll go, oh, here he is. Oh, I'm always doing that. But more along the lines of like mock it to denigrate us, you know, like sort of like, oh, you're going to be there. Whatever it is, you know? But it's like, oh, right, so now we're that. Yeah. Now we're fucked. And then the other thing that I've caught is my wife saying, like my wife will, Frank and my daughter will show something to my wife and my wife will go, oh, that's cool. And in my head I'm like, right, you can never say something's cool again. Do you know what I mean? Because my wife saying something's cool, she used to be cool saying that.

8:00Mike Minogue:Oh, not anymore. But now she's a mother. Yeah. I hear her saying that. I hear myself saying something that's cool to my child, and I can hear it, and it's like I can't use it anymore because I'm an uncool old piece of shit. Well, maybe cool isn't the word anymore. Maybe cool. That's the equivalent. Cool is the word, but you know when old people say cool, can you imagine somebody older than you saying, oh, that's cool. I'm seeing it right now. What do you fucking know about cool?

8:23Keyzie:Yeah, I'm cool. I've just kind of like with my daughters, the classic for me now is organising a trip and my daughters are like what are you fucking doing?

8:39Mike Minogue:I think my parents who are very well travelled like they travel all the time I think the way they organise trips is ridiculous. Exactly and yet they've done it their whole lives perfectly good but then you come in and me and my wife were having a chat about this the other day but there's more your way is not necessarily the right way No. So I've got a way that I do it. Yes, and it works. But there's a thousand other ways to do it. So just because people don't do it your way doesn't mean it's the wrong way. That's right.

9:07Keyzie:It's just not your way. I think it is, and too, because, you know, like my daughters are machines when it comes to organising trips and they're really good with deals and stuff. Whereas my wife and I will be like, oh, fuck it, let's just do this and let's do that. And they'll be like, why are you doing that? But also you haven't been accustomed to going on trips Because your whole life you're on the bones of your ass raising four daughters. So because of the hard work you put in, they know how to travel. Yes. But you are just learning it now that they've gone. Yes. But, yeah, that's exactly true.

9:42Keyzie:That's exactly the truth.

9:43Mike Minogue:See, I think the way my parents travel, isn't it ridiculous? They're pretty damn savvy, but I would do things differently. You would do it differently, yeah. But at the same time, they traveled at a time where you had postcards and you had to drive into a town and book a motel. And ask for directions. And you had to arrive there before the motel's closed so you could have somewhere to stay and follow a map and stuff like that. Yes. I wouldn't be terrible, but I would suck, right? You'd be good at that, Keeser. No, it'd be great. And that's what I like. I like the... The adventure. Well, I like the people.

10:15Yes. That's the part that I like. And so all of these things that are there to make your life better, inverted commas, remove your interactions with the people. And so the maps now, if you get lost, you don't stop and ask for directions. If you're checking in somewhere, it's an Airbnb, there's a lockbox with a key in it. That's right. There's no interaction. There's all these ways that we're streamlining in our lives. You just, you on your own every step of the way. Yes. Except for your wife. And it fucking rules.

10:42Mike Minogue:So good, man. I don't want to talk to anyone. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know. That's why I'm going to Japan. It's just vending machines. You can put your money in. Well, just so that. There you go. And then a small hatch opens and ramen comes out. And then you go back to your 10 square metre apartment. That's right. Case in point, actually. It beat off.

10:59Keyzie:We were looking for an Airbnb in this particular place in Australia, right? And there was just fucking nothing there. And my wife was like, why don't we just stay at a hotel? Yeah. And it's like, yeah. 100%. I didn't look at hotels. Yeah, totally. Let's just stay at a fucking hotel. What are we doing here? But you do get used to doing things like that. Yes. So I was looking for a book. I can't remember what it was. I can't remember what it was. And I couldn't find it. and I was looking high and light and this guy had recommended it to me and I was just like, it's not anywhere, man. It's like none of the books still stock it.

11:33It's not on Amazon, by the way. And he goes, have you tried the library? Yeah. I forgot that libraries existed, man. Yes. No idea.

11:43Keyzie:My wife loves it. Did I go there? No. So does my wife. The library's great. Yeah, I mean, I've been there four or five times now just accompanying my wife.

11:51Mike Minogue:Just following her.

11:52Keyzie:Just following her. Yeah, I do. She, you know, and she goes there every sort of 10 days, gets another 50 books.

12:00Mike Minogue:And then puts you in the little pen.

12:01Keyzie:Puts me in the backpack. Then walks home with a sack full of books. Is it shitting the bed again out there? It's just starting to rain, yeah. But on the bright side, it's four degrees. Yeah, cool.

12:13Mike Minogue:Hey, big show. 4pm till 7, weekdays. Hauraki.