THE DISCLAIMER: Future Thespians

0:00Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Dog It. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horek here. Oh, g'day fellas. Big man. Hello. How are we this morning? Fucking weird waking up with rain, like heavy rain. It is quite bizarre, isn't it? My wife even offered to drive me in today and I went, no darling, you stay in bed. I can cope with this I can deal with it because I thought about picking you up yes as on my drive past because I was like as I was at the lights about to come down to town I was just pitched because it was raining quite hard and I was picturing Jase getting swept away down into a gutter and then down into a drain but you didn't even offer I offered at least yeah thank you for that I appreciate it on the chat easy I jumped in there I thought poor old Jase I didn't see it until I actually got in I'm sorry man I should have thought about it earlier I thought he would drive this is miserable for poor little hoity J there yeah So I made the offer, Keezer.

0:59Keezer, you were just saying that you thought of it. But that was at 5.38, mate. Yeah, I know, but you came here after me, so you could have made the offer. Even after seeing my offer, you did nothing. I did see one young lady.

1:10Keyzie:I felt for her. She was dressed in like this in the dark. Yeah, I was just, yeah. But she was dressed for like the office, skirt and shirt, and was absolutely drenched. Do you know what? She was probably in theme. She might have been a prostitute. You've seen many of those these days on the streets, do you? And not... Jase? Well, I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know, to be fair. Well, you would. But it was very sort of office-like garb. Garb, yeah. That she was wearing. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So, you know... The Secretary. Have you seen The Secretary, Jase? That film, The Secretary, with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal?

1:51Oh, yeah. Oh, hello. Hello. I did the rounds, cheesy. Hello.

1:56Keyzie:So you're saying she was in costume? She may well have been, yeah. She might have been. She might have been. It was a very wet costume, can I say that? But in terms of your Ladies of the Night, you used to see them everywhere. Like in Wellington, I don't know where they hung out. Here, K Road. K Road. K Road, there we go. Not that I know that. The sort of offshoots of K Road, if I used to live there. Yeah. The little offshoots, they're not on the road. Yeah, yeah. Down the side street. Is that what you're saying, Casey? The little hill that goes to Hopetown Street. Yeah, I know the one. There's a public toilet.

2:27There was a new public toilet that they built there? That's where they take them, and the local residents aren't happy about it. No. Also, there's a dry cleaners. There used to be dry cleaners. Oh, a laundromat? So you can take your suit in and... No, that's where they'd go and wash garments and stuff all throughout the night, and they'd be in there and almost run their operation out of there. Really? Yeah.

2:46Keyzie:It's probably a good joint to do it, really. You know what I mean? You've got a captive audience. You've got a prostitution ring. Yeah. Is it a ring if it's just one of you? Yeah, can be. Fucking prostitute chat at 5.45 in the morning. It's a bit full of... He's a shocking bastard. Pugs is shaking his head in disgust. Sex worker. Sex worker, Mogi. What were you saying, Street? What were you saying? I said prostitute. Prostitute. Yeah. Is that odd? Trust Pugs to know the proper term. He likes to show respect. He's been corrected by them before, though. He has been corrected by them. Yeah. Do you mind?

3:22I'm a sex worker. Even that seems a bit stronger, too.

3:26Keyzie:It is very early to start with the sex worker chat. You know what I mean? Well, now any sex workers listen to this, we're thinking, why? What's wrong with talking about... Where's our backbone shout? Great, Steve. Backbone. You defended the fans, and now the sex worker's Jase, man. Hell of a combination. God, I mean, I'm going to be an endangered species on the street soon. The Hauraki Beach Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Renting a car always feels like a bit of a battle, But in the stuffy, slow-paced world of car rentals, Snap is in a league of its own. So it's no surprise that Snap is the official car rental partner of the One New Zealand Warriors.

4:06When you rent with Snap, you're helping support the team that brings us all together, sweet as. For your next adventure, choose a car rental company that backs our boys. Visit snaprentals.co.nz. Snap. Simply better car rental. Oh, g'day, mate. Oh, homos, yeah. Look, if you want the chance to win all our on-air competitions and stuff and get amongst the live conversation, tune in to the Hauraki Big Show, four to seven weekdays on Radio Hauraki and iHeartRadio. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

4:44Keyzie:But, yeah, fucking miserable out there. But to be fair, we've had very little rain over the winter break. But this is where you brace yourself, isn't it? Yeah, I'll cop it. Because it's going to be like this for the next three months. Has spring sprung? Yeah, it has. Although, what are we in? Yeah. Yeah, it's spring. I was thinking about how much water we've got to look forward to. Auckland's a shocker. Well, I was actually amazed to learn, because it's been such a dry winter, that the dams are full. It was like, how did that happen? Because usually in Auckland, the dams are running out by now.

5:18Keyzie:Oh, fellas. Well, they'll be full during winter, but we've had such a dry winter. It's like, how can they be full? Maybe it rains overnight. Maybe. Yeah, when you're not looking. When I was driving down the Western, like it was pissing down quite hard. My wipers were on full tilt. Probably not quite necessary. Yeah, I put mine on full Keezy, if I'm honest, and then I dropped it back one. Well, mine's on auto. You were a bit overexcited. I hate auto. And auto was just like, yo, we're going to fucking get this water off. But as I was driving along, I was like, what's that behind me there? And then I was in the fast lane, so I moved over one.

5:51and a dude on a motorbike with a fucking T-shirt and a Kathmandu vest on, leaning forward as hard as he could, just hooned past me. And I was just like, fuck that at 5.30 a.m. Yeah, getting to work, man. Just backboneing to work. Totally, man. Because a lot of people, especially in Asian countries and stuff, where all you've got is a motorbike. What? Just easy. What do you mean? Come on. In the Asian countries. Speaking from someone who knows, who's learned. Southeast Asian countries, all you've got is a motorbike and it's fucking typhoon season and you have to get to work or whatever. Yeah. You have to ride in the rain.

6:24Fuck that.

6:24Keyzie:And they've got like a barn on the back of it. Easy, easy. A barn me. No, a barn. Like a house. That was the thing that amazed me in Vietnam was just how much shit people could get on a little scooter. Like poos. Well, no. Like, you know, their whole work set up. Well, it's the wife on the back, the kid in the front. Yeah, that freaked me out. Between the mum and dad as well. Yes, yeah. So good. And then they'll have like a goat. Yes. It's fucking rules, man. Or an ox. And then you come back here and you're like, why can't I carry everything on a small scooter? Yeah, I have to have a special child seat for my daughter until she's eight.

7:02Oh, yeah, that's coming up pretty soon, isn't it? All that sort of stuff. What's that, mate? Your little bikey. Oh, it is. October, isn't it? Yeah, well, they're saying November now. Big hog moody. The problem I've got, I'll be completely honest with you, is through the business jizz. Oh, right, okay. But the thing that's a real pain in the arse about it is I've started walking.

7:23Keyzie:Yeah. And you're loving it. And I love walking now, so I don't actually need a bike. It's great, isn't it? It's a time to contemplate and think. And I don't have any headphones or anything on. I'm just wandering around having to think there and there. It's an easy way to lose some calories. I've got the film shoot coming up, fellas. No doubt they'll force me to take my shirt off at some time, or I'll force them to force me to take my shirt off. You know what I'm saying. As you should, man. As you should. But that's, yeah, it's good to get out and about and have a think, because otherwise I've always been like, oh, I'm going to get to work, I'm going to get to work.

7:52But you don't have to get to work. No, exactly. Because it takes half an hour.

7:55Keyzie:I kind of miss the drive from out west into work because that was my downtime, driving to work and driving away from work. That was my downtime. What about when you're at home? Is that on downtime? Well, it is, but it's a different kind of downtime. It is. You know what I mean? When you're in your car, my brain – You zone out. Yeah, you zone out pretty much. And I haven't, honestly, I'll turn the radio on occasionally if there's something on Hodaki or, you know. Oh, definitely. I left. Only OD. My stereo is always off. Like, just driving silence. Yeah. Just ponder. Ripping arse. Sure. Jagging it.

8:29Went to my daughter's school play last night. Oh, how was that? That's a hard pivot. Look, I can't talk about it on the show, which is why I want to bring it up here. It was absolutely terrible. Right. The acting? No, the kids were really good. The kids were great. the actors because it amazes me that they can learn all the lines but they do. I think kids are the best actors because they're still Oh well I'd refute that.

8:58Keyzie:Yeah but you know you can see some amazing performances from kids because they buy into it so completely. Yeah. You know what I mean? What about like would a kid be better than No. Yeah good point. I mean what's interesting is and look I say that with the greatest of respect. The problem is I'm comparing it to Moana, which was her first one a couple of years ago, and that was fucking great. Right. Oh, wow. I was legitimately expecting, oh, God. Here we go. You're supporting the school, and that's what you're there for. Get them into the arts. Absolutely all about it. But Moana was fantastic. But it seems like what they do is there's places that do school productions.

9:37Yes. So you hire them. They've got the script. They've got all the costumes. Wow. They come in. They teach the kids how to do the whole thing. and that's their job. That's what they do. I don't like that. You don't like that? Oh, I suppose in our primary school and that. Yeah, no, that's fair enough. I've never heard of that before.

9:58Keyzie:So it's like a company that, wow. Which I hadn't heard of before, but it was like three, I think they've got most of the costumes. They're pretty flash costumes, but they had like, when you're trying to get every kid in the school, so it's not a senior production or anything like that, but there's 330 kids. Wow. Every one of them gets up on the stage. Every one of them gets to do a song and dance number. Oh, God. That sounds tedious. Well, I tell you what, it would have been fine. It would have been, because people listen to the show from the school, and I think people by and large will agree with me, but it's 90 minutes long.

10:33Yeah, no. It's 90 minutes, which is the same length as Glen Gary, Glen Ross. Yeah. I've never seen that.

10:41Keyzie:I can do an hour. An hour and a half. Was there an intermission? No, thankfully. Yeah, thank God. But there's also no snacks. An hour, because there's too many kids for one play for 90 minutes. You need like an hour or 50 minutes of your class, like three classrooms worth of kids. Yeah. Doing all the stuff. That's interesting. My wife. Would you not alternate in one year half the school and then the other year the other half of the school or something? Yeah. Maybe. My wife teaches drama to like seven and eight-year-olds. Bit of a nightmare apparently. apparently, she often finds herself going, you, you, you and you.

11:16Keyzie:Yeah, my daughter does it. Go outside and have a run. Yeah. Just go and have a run. Great. And then they go and run it off. You can put teacher in Chariots of Fire. Yes, exactly. And then they go, what? But it's a hell of an achievement by everyone. Like this company that does it. Yeah. These kids, it's all, there might be 15 song and dances. Wow. That's pretty amazing. It's unreal. And everyone has got a song that you've never heard before in your life. So they're having to learn every, and the kids that aren't on the stage are in the chorus. So they're the chorus for the whole song. So they're singing the whole thing.

11:50So if Mogi Minogi comes out and sings part of the first song, will you then not see Mogi Minogi again until like song seven? I can tell you what happened, Keezy. I didn't see Mogi Minogi until the very last scene. See, that's. And then I spent the entire time looking for her on the stage. And I found her right at the very end. Like I'm recording everything else. Yeah. Right, and what was funny was she was a red comet. She was a red comet. That was her role. There were about 80 red comets. See, there's too many kids. It's too many. Without a word of a lie. And so you're trying to find her. She looks exactly the same as everybody else on the stage.

12:25And I finally found her only because as she was coming off the stage, she was last. Yeah. And she dropped something. So that meant she got kind of a solo. Oh, God. She stopped to pick it up. She was upstaging. Upstaging. But she had a ball. Left her wallet and phone on stage. Hey, listen to The Vink Show, four to seven weekdays, hauraki, although we're on brekkie next week. Yeah, we're on brekkie. Just on the Monday, yeah.

12:50Renting a car always feels like a bit of a battle, but in the stuffy, slow-paced world of car rentals, Snap is in a league of its own. So it's no surprise that Snap is the official car rental partner of the One New Zealand Warriors. When you rent with Snap, you're helping support the team that brings us all together, sweet as. For your next adventure, choose a car rental company that backs our boys. Visit snaprentals.co.nz. Snap. Simply better car rental.