THE DISCLAIMER: Irresponsible at the Airport

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0:15Keyzie:Oh, g'day fellas. Hello. Did you even say backbone then, Moggy? I've sort of developed that a little bit further. Right, okay, nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't say anything at all. He's overdeveloped it. I say nothing, man. How's everyone going? I've been good, thank you. Thanks for asking. What did you guys get up to on Friday? We did the show. We did. Because, just for reference, I left after the live show on Thursday night. Yes. And came home. You abandoned ship. I abandoned ship. We'll do it again. Had a great weekend. But I hear that you guys had a fun day. It was a fun day. Well, look, you know, Bervana's always...

0:47Which annoys me that I took a day off when it was a fun day. That fucks me off. That would really annoy you, actually. Yeah, well, it was quite an interesting one because I had a few... I never drink at the live shows. but I decided to on that occasion. It was bloody great. We had a beer. Got to be at about midnight as it turns out. Myself and Pugs and Dilly's son. You were gone, Keezy. That's a good shift. Jase, you were in bed. From starting in the Arvo, you know. Starting in the Arvo, yep. So I wasn't, look, I wasn't horrendous the next day but I certainly wasn't a million dollars. Yeah. And so I didn't drink at Beervana at all and then I had a few meetings.

1:21Jase had to go and catch up with a mate and then I had a couple of, and then still got to the airport four and a half hours before our flight. And they're in. They're idle hands. Oh, they're in. So it was just at the airport. So the trouble is, so what happens here is we know, but for the listeners, what happens is we get booked at the crack of dawn to fly wherever so that we can do a show eight hours later. Yes. And then we finish sort of six to eight, and we did. And then you've got six hours to kill before you go home. Yeah. So I went to the airport, and when I was at the airport, I tried to change my flights.

2:00I thought, I'll try and get out of this bastard a bit early. And when I was doing that, I ran into a guy that I used to work with in film. I hadn't seen him for about 15 years. Peter Jackson. Peter Jackson his name is. And what's his name? Phil Smith. And he's a camera dude, and he's been working overseas in London and stuff. Yes, cool. And he worked on Dune. Oh, cool. Yeah, he does. He's really, really good at what he does. What about Dune 2? I don't think he did Dune too, but he certainly did Dune. Ah. And then, so when you get there, now I didn't have any. I thought he would have access to the lounge.

2:35Right. But he didn't. So we went to this little corner bar there before you go through. Before you go through at Wellington Airport. Yeah. Before you get through there, there's that one in the corner. It's a good little bar. It's a great bar. Now, what's great about it is they had margaritas on tap. I think he had one ginger beer, and I probably, in the two hours that he sat with me, I probably had four margaritas. I was feeling good. And then he left. And he was like, shit, I ran into old Mike Minogue the other day. Jesus Christ. He probably, when he left, I was probably. It was time for him to go?

3:10No, I was just, I was good as gold still. Yes, feeling good. Feeling good. Now, when he left, another mate that I used to work in film, he joined me, he just walked past and he was flying back to Gisborne. So he joined me, he drank two beers and the time it took me to have a sip of the beer that I was now drinking. Wow. He double smashed them. And he was with me for maybe half an hour or so. And then I'm just sitting there. I think I might get myself another margarita. And I'm sitting there. And while I'm sitting there, I turn to the side. And who should be coming my way but old Hoity J? The Gistmeister.

3:42Yes, that's me. And so Hoity J joined me. And we were having a good old chinwag. Yeah, man. I'm fucking jealous. It was great stuff. In a good hour or even more, good old chinwag, and I said to Hoity J fairly early on, maybe 15, and I said, would you be keen on a margarita? And old Hoity J said, well, I'll be honest with you there, Mogey, I'm pretty steamed as it is. To which I said, I know, mate. Yes. I know. I know, yeah. Because we're having a lovely old chat. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Now that's good listening. And it's live. What are you listening to there?

4:27Oh, me? Oh, sorry. I was listening to the Radio Hauraki Big Show. Right. Four to seven weekdays. Yeah, that's quite specific. And iHeartRadio. Wado. Cheers. The Hauraki Big Show Podcast. And so we got into the margaritas, had a couple of margaritas there. And then it was time to jump on the plane.

4:52Keyzie:Yeah, because I was getting a bit angsty about that because we were cutting it very fine, Keezy. And I kept saying to Mogey, We should probably go now. We should probably get through security and shit, man. Especially the amount of time it takes you to get through security. Well, yeah, exactly. Take my fucking boots off. We were absolutely, by this point, pretty publicly drunk. Like, out of ten? Ten being fucking blackout. Well, I think there's full-down drunk, but we were just cracking up. It's probably the most enjoyable, it's certainly the most enjoyable drunkenness I've had for probably years.

5:26Wow. Yeah. I've just, right in the pocket, I've just, the exact right amount of booze. The Goldilocks zone. Things are very, very funny. Great yarns. The situation's funny. We're at the airport, we're pissed. Yeah, it was just absolutely carefree from my point of view.

5:44Keyzie:But it was, yeah, it was that bloody gnarly six hours. And I went for a little ticky tour around Welly and visited a few of my old homes. Yeah. Not good. Had a couple of burgers. Yeah. Two burgers. Two burgers. Fucking hell. Which was pretty good. Yeah. And then on the plane, it sort of continued on. And it was like, keep them coming, buddy. And I think the guy was like, oh, no, we'll probably. Is it the kuru hour or something? It was the kuru hour. Knock it on the head. Absolutely could not believe our luck, so get on there. They've got cans of margarita. Thank you. Fucking hell. They were on the panheads.

6:26Look, we would have been no joy to be around. No. At all. But Jason and I were having an absolute ball. Old Dilly was sitting next to us in some state of disbelief. I don't know if he was getting any video footage or not. He better not have. Because I had the group chat going, and I got a message. It just said, racist Dilly. Dilly the racist. Dilly the racist.

6:48Keyzie:And that was the only one. Do you remember that? No. What was he being racist about? Nothing at all. So when we got off the plane, we got off the back. I'm pretty sure this is right.

7:00And then we were coming up the stairs, and it was me going up first. So it's like those opposing flights. You go up the first one, a little platform, and then you turn around and you go up the other way. And so you're right behind me, Jason. And then looking down, and then there's two old women. Yes. And then behind the two old women was Dilly. And I have to get the exact quote from him. He'd know better than me. But I said to him something along the lines of, geez, Dilly, you're a shocking racist. Or something along those lines, which then made these old women really worried. And their heads are jerking around.

7:41And then Dilly's like, what? I've just been called a racist. in public. And then me and Jase were just dying, dying laughing. That's so fucking annoying. Absolutely crying with laughter. Couldn't talk, couldn't walk, and that was getting all the way out through the baggage handling area. It was just absolutely. And then Jase went to the toilet. He came out still crying laughing. I was like, I can't even remember what we were laughing.

8:15Yes. Ah, it was magnificent.

8:18Keyzie:And then home went bound. And then home went bound. And then so I got an Uber and then I got home. Well, I got the guy to drop me off. I've done quite well not to buy any cigarettes up until that point. Yes. That wore off. And so I went to the local. I got the guy to drop me off up the corner from my place. And then I went into the thing, couldn't find my wallet. Ah, fuck's sake. At the bar? So I'd said to the guy, I'll just grab a packet of darts and I'll just drop you off the money tomorrow. He's like, yeah, all good. So then I - He was probably still laughing hysterically at this point. Well, I still have my suitcase.

8:53You know what I mean? And I'm pissed up. It's like, let's get this guy out of here. So then I grabbed a scooter, a flamingo scooter used New Zealand made. With your suitcase? Put the suitcase on it and then rode that home down that hill. Yes. Which is pretty quick, man. That's a fucking steep hill. She's pretty quick. Well, absolute yard sale. I fucking came off it. My suitcase goes flying. Oh, my God. The flamingo scooter is just fucking crashing, rolling on concrete. Oh, my God. And I'm just doing, you know when you're running so fast that your legs are going out the back. Oh, so you jumped off it and tried to stay up.

9:33I jumped off, and I managed to run alongside it and not eat shit. Oh, my God. Which was an absolute miracle. Miracle. And then I went home and my wife was there with a mate of hers and I just annoyed them. Excuse me. And then called in New Zealand the next day and I left my wallet on the plane. Oh, yeah, good.

9:54You hoping on a scooter is such a bad idea. I was cracking up because I was like, this is such a terrible idea. This is exactly what Jase talks about, why you shouldn't get on one of these things that is far out. I can't remember exactly what happened. With a suitcase. Desperate for a dart.

10:12Keyzie:Thinking you're sweet as. Yeah, you should be right. What I will say, no darts for Hoody J. Yeah, well done. No darts. Yeah. I was very happy I went all day without him. Pretty proud of that. It would have been easy. I wasn't proud of my satty. Were you just a shell of a man? Yeah, fuck yeah. And it was the day, of course, that my wife has organised all sorts of admin. Oh, no. And it's just like, no, no. No, no, you go and do that, darling. Oh, good on you. Well done. I'll see you later. But that, I will say, that's why you drink. For that shit right there. That's why you drink. So you'll be chasing that now.

10:49I had a ball. No, no, I'm just really happy that it happened. Yes. I wish you could have been there, Keezy. I wish I was there too. I'm fucked off about that. Yeah. I want to go home and have a go at my wife.

10:58Keyzie:Yeah, that's me done, though. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Absolutely. That just reminded me on the Saturday, I was like, fuck this shit, man. So that's why it's good that your wife had all that stuff planned. Yeah, empty house. And my wife was great as well. She just let me do absolutely nothing. Yes. Actually, I wasn't horrendous, all things considered. But, yeah, I'm very happy with that. It's a good memory. We were laughing like you wouldn't believe. Poor Dilly. He's just like, fuck you guys. Oh, my God. Dilly the racist is not a great nickname, but I think it's going to catch on. Did he have any beers?

11:33I think he had a beer. I don't think he said a word the entire flight. He would have been way too loud. Oh, my God. Jason Moe, you're fucking hammered. We would have been so loud. Yeah, and just...

11:44Keyzie:Yeah, I was just waiting for the report, you know, to come out in the news. That's right. Can I say... There's the paranoia at extreme levels. Extremely good-natured, the best kind of drunks, you know, but very happy and, yeah, not arseholes by any stretch at all. According to them. Yeah. Yeah, according to our drunken heads. Hey, listen to The Big Show, 4 to 7 weekdays, Radio Hodaki. Good listening.