THE DISCLAIMER: Self Sabotage

0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggy. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Hodeke.

0:15Keyzie:Oh, g'day fellas. Oh, backpaw. Oh, hello.

0:18Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah.

0:20Keyzie:Hello, yeah. Now you're talking.

0:22Mike Minogue:Fellas. Ha ha. Yeah, good stuff. I think that's the new opener right there. Yeah, I think so. That's how we do it. Yeah, yeah. That's how we do. How are we going, team? Good day? Good day? Really good, man. I'm in a row. Yeah, I'm bloody good, actually. That's good. Good old life there. And it's good stuff. That's great. Isn't it a happy place? Yeah. Well, I'm back exercising. That always makes you feel good, Keezy. It does. It does. Kids going good. Mrs. is going good. You know what they say? Happy family. Happy Mogey. Happy Mogey. Yeah, that's what they say.

0:58Keyzie:Do you do what I do? Oh, here we go. And I'm not as bad as I used to be. I used to be really, really bad on this front.

1:12Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. Go, everything's all G. There's a good, something bad's coming around the corner? Yeah, where's, hang on. Yeah, right. Can't enjoy it.

1:21Keyzie:Hang on, yes. Where is the, hang on, this is right. That is so fucking annoying, really. I don't get that. And I mean like chronically. Like my brain would go searching for a terrible thing.

1:33Mike Minogue:So that is literally turning a win into a loss, isn't it? Yes. Like everything's great. Yes. And you're like, okay, what the fuck's going on here? And then when you start losing, you're like, yeah, that's better. Yeah, there it is.

1:42Keyzie:There's my sweet spot. I'm back in familiar territory.

1:45Mike Minogue:So it's like your brain doesn't like being happy.

1:48Keyzie:Yes. It doesn't trust that. That's exactly what it is.

1:50Mike Minogue:Fuck, that's annoying.

1:51Keyzie:It's waiting for the other shoe to drop.

1:52Mike Minogue:Yes. The other boot. Speaking of, haven't seen those boots in a while, just saying.

1:57Keyzie:I wore them this morning, actually.

1:59Mike Minogue:Yeah, bullshit. When did that stop happening? Does it still happen? Oh, it happens occasionally, but nowhere near like it used to be.

2:06Keyzie:Because everything's always terrible. So he doesn't have to worry about that. Yeah, true. It's that thing of, but no, I'll tell you what it is. Being more present in this moment now, not worrying about the future, not worrying about the past, just going, okay, I'm just here now, and what a lovely day it is. And also I think it's an aging thing, which is I don't really give a fuck. And that's not as negative as it sounds. But it's just like, don't worry about it. But you also do worry about it. Occasionally, but nowhere near to the extent that I used to. I was shockingly bad. No, that's true. That's true.

2:46Keyzie:Even start from the start of the show. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

2:50Mike Minogue:You were worried at the start of the show. Big worry.

2:52Keyzie:I used to have massive anxiety doing radio in the early days of drive.

2:58Mike Minogue:Oh, I can imagine.

3:00Keyzie:Even when we started? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I did. Yeah. But that was for various reasons. Yes.

3:08Mike Minogue:It's because old Keezy wasn't, you know, pulling his weight. Pulling his weight. Thank you. That was how I was going to put it. I was sitting there just pushing his buttons, wouldn't speak up. Yeah. That's right. Old Keezy would just sit there silently. but I remember you used to twist the screen off the little mounting bracket there that screen's gone now you used to lean over and turn the computer screen around

3:30Keyzie:that was when I was in a full blown panic attack wow

3:33Mike Minogue:fucking hell that's amazing I need to get better at being present because one thing I've noticed is things go way too fucking quickly you know what I mean it's like oh yeah I'm excited for the Pyre Awards boom 2am steamed was I present brothel creeping thank you Moggy This is on YouTube. It's one A Pugs. Yeah, sweet, man. Thank you. Absolutely deep. Yeah.

3:56Keyzie:Boom. And K-Road's such a, what's a dark place? It's a dark place. It can be a fun place. It can be. It's great. I love K-Road. In all honesty, I spent very little time there. It's a delicious place. 2 a.m. on a Wednesday morning, though, Maggie? Yeah, I would say it's past its best place.

4:14Mike Minogue:Absolutely shitter. Seriously, when me and Pugs were at that bar, and it was the two winners who were great and then everyone had gone home except for us four and there was just like a middle-aged businessman who would have been, I reckon he would have been 50-something. Right. And he was just hammered singing back-to-back-to-back karaoke songs really badly. How good, I love it. And he did Freebird. How good. And he was up there hammered by himself. And I was just like, this is what factored into me being like, you know what, I'm going home. Yeah. There's you. Because it's just us and then that guy.

4:46Mike Minogue:Do we want to be with that guy? Imagine being that guy. I wonder if he had a bag on him. Wouldn't know, Moggy. No, I would not say that you would.

4:55Keyzie:I'm more intrigued by how he felt when he woke up. The businessman? Yes. Just Andy, run of the mill. Yeah, just... Another day in paradise. Where's my wallet? Where's my fucking... Where's my dignity? Yeah. The Horaki Beast Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. You know how good the Hauraki Big Show podcast is? Yeah, I love those fellas. Backbone. Yeah, backbone. You get it. You've got to get around the live radio show. Oh, yeah, when's that? Four to seven weekdays on Radio Hauraki and iHeartRadio. Backbone. Nice. The Hauraki Big Show podcast. Oh, my God. That was an anxiety. I've never talked to you about it.

5:42Keyzie:and I probably won't, the worst anxiety dream I've ever had. Oh, great. Last – when? Last week?

5:50Mike Minogue:And that was my fault. Oh, yeah. That was when I got him in trouble with that reel and it triggered the worst anxiety dream of your life. But that – I'm so sorry. No, but that –

5:57Keyzie:I've had worse. No, but that's – It was a shocking last year. Yeah, that's 100 % my fault. Was it funny? No. And now looking back in the – because you've had other ones before, which are, you know, some of the favourite stories of all time. That we can't talk about. Yes, which we can't talk about. They were more funny for you than I think for me. You were just devastated that you woke up. That was a shocker, that one that you were referring to.

6:21Mike Minogue:Was it anything related to that?

6:23Keyzie:No, no.

6:25Mike Minogue:Okay, so no.

6:26Keyzie:It was actually a scenario that's kind of occurred in my life before. I can't believe I triggered this. But much worse. because I've never had anxiety. Like I have anxiety dreams relatively often, not as much as I used to.

6:45Mike Minogue:Is that the one you used to like tangle the sheets up with you?

6:47Keyzie:Yeah, just turn them into ropes. But this one kept building on itself. Right. It kept getting worse. Like it started off really bad and got worse and worse and worse. What would be an example of one which is not this one necessarily? Well, I can tell you this one. Yeah, go on. This one. I'll put my feet up. I had a dream, right? And in my dream I woke up and I was devastatingly hungover. Oh, yeah. Like wrecked. And you weren't, obviously. You've let yourself down. Yeah. And I mean wrecked. I mean nauseous, headache, sweating, panic attack, heart palpitations. And in my mind, in the dream, I was like, I'm meant to be doing something today.

7:31Keyzie:And then I went.