THE DISCLAIMER: Stranded With The Fellas

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0:15Keyzie:Oh, g'day fellas. Backbone. Hello. Here we are again, eh? Eh? Another day. Deja voodoo. Another$10 ,000. Are you recycling your joke from out there, Jase? Yeah. That's no good, man. Oh, did you say that earlier before I got there? Yeah, you said it. Yeah, nice. Sort of, you know, creating this facade that I get$10 ,000 a day. Per show? Yeah. Fucking hell. And on the weekend? Because what he actually said was, another day, another dollar. Nobody said anything, you know. Just, you know what it's like out there. Indifferent. Especially when he starts talking. Indifferent. And then he was like, I mean,$10 ,000.

0:52And then one person looked up. Oh, that was me. I was like, yeah, this guy gets it.

0:57Mike Minogue:And then he was like, fuck, here we go. This is gold, man. He's like, this is gold. He wrote it. He got a little notepad out and wrote it down. Get along the potty.

1:03Keyzie:And here we are, man. Look at us, man. Boom. I fire it off at the start there and we're on to a winner.

1:10Mike Minogue:We're off to a flyer. We're absolutely killing it, man. I got quite a funny situation earlier today. Forget the situation. They got me face and. It was 10.30. In the morning. Early, right? Yes. And I decided I was having lunch at 10.30. Because we should point out that Keezy, Chris Key, is a hungover piece of shit. Yeah. We need to point that out.

1:35Keyzie:I mean, I take that for granted most days, Mogi. But this is for the audience. We get it. I mean, we know. But you have to explain to the audience. You've got to set it up. Yeah. It's part of radio, Jase. Keezy is a hungover, what was it? Piece of shit. That was it. Fellas, come on, man. You just have to look at him when he walks in the door and you know. Oh It's the hooded eyes Oh the text machine today was a disgrace Today? A little chat room yeah Oh our group chat Yeah yeah It was really bad man Yeah was it? Yeah So what did you have at 10.30am

2:10Mike Minogue:So 10.30am Yeah I wanted a burger Remember how I messaged the group It was like Trying to get us to get you burgers Re-burgers I messaged the group and I was like Pugs shouts the fellas re-burger for lunch With his company credit card And he says, sure, but you have to make some content around it. Well, we're doing that right now. But like visual, you know, social was his saying. And then I was like, oh, fuck, I really want a burger just to cure it, you know, just to boom, drop a burger on top of your hangover. Ah, re-burger not open.

2:40Keyzie:Oh, no, no. Well, 10.30, to be fair.

2:43Mike Minogue:I had to go to a competitor. Oh, yeah. A direct competitor. Yeah. So I'm pulling into the car park of this direct competitor. Car park? It's a car park. Not a drive-thru. No, a car park. I believe you. The only other thing in this car park is takeaway joints, right? So it's literally this one car park in West Auckland where there is like 10 takeaway joints. I know the place. Do you? Yes, I do. Yeah, you probably do actually. I pull in there and there's this dude, this young backbone and a gold Ford laser from the 90s with no hubcaps on it. And I'm driving past and he pulls, I'm like, what's this dude doing?

3:26Mike Minogue:As I'm going past him, he looks at the window at me and shakes his finger at me like, what are you doing, Casey? You can't go to Reburgers, mate. And I was like, straight away, I was like, oh, fuck, here we go. This is literally unhealthy food alley where I am right now. Everyone that pulls in there knows what they're doing. Yeah, totally. Everyone's hungover. Everyone's getting a big feed of shit food. And so I drive around the block there and park up and go inside. I'm like, okay, this backbone hasn't seen me, which is good. And I'm sitting. I get there to pick up my order. It's not ready yet.

4:01Mike Minogue:I haven't even started cooking it yet. So I have to sit there for 10 minutes. And I'm just sitting there and then I just hear this like, do-do-j, do-do-j. And this prick is driving past in his car yelling do-do-j at me. And I'm just like, fucking hell. I just want to have my shameful hungover food. In peace. In peace, yes. Where are you sitting at this moment? Like I strategically sat like further in the restaurant waiting. Right. But he like. And he drove past. He crept past slowly. Outside. Outside going. Shouting it out the window. But I couldn't hear. Like I was like, fuck, that sounds like something to say to do.

4:34Mike Minogue:They look out there. It's just the back of the Ford laser. I'm just like, fucking let me eat my burger first. All right. And then give me shit. It's a dozen rows that somebody has just done you. Yeah, man. It's like I've got to walk around with a big sign saying, do me. But like when you're feeling vonies and pretty ashamed. Having your finger waved. And yeah, someone's like, hey, Keezy, fuck it. And then I was picturing them like, oh, get a photo of Keezy at the competition. Oh, Keezy should be at Reeburger.

5:07Keyzie:Yeah, yeah. Oh, Barry. Oh, God almighty. What a shatter. He's got a bit of a doing over there and people urinating on his property and do-do-sham and do-do-boss. What have you guys been up to, man?

5:23Mike Minogue:The Horaki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Horaki. Oh, g'day, mate. Oh, hi, mate. Yeah. Look, if you want the chance to win all our on-air competitions and stuff and get amongst the live conversation, tune in to The Horaki Big Show, four to seven weekdays on Radio Hauraki and iHeartRadio. The Hauraki Big Show Podcast. Had a bath last night there, Fiels? Yeah, good stuff. Good stuff. Yeah. Pretty good stuff, a bath, isn't it, there, Fiels? I reckon you were bathed for 15 minutes. No, I made about half an hour. I was reading a book. Wow. I was reading a book, John Togood's book. You're really tired, man.

6:09Hey. Hey. I didn't think I was. That was a pretty good yawn. Until Casey's yarn started. Until your yarn made me hungover. I think I've caught your hangover. And since then I've just been working pretty much. Oh, I'm watching more alone. Yeah. Watching more alone. I won't talk about it on the show because I think people get sick of you talking about the same old shit. But, oh, mate, we've just had the Christian fella. Yes. He's lost a fair amount of weight, I've got to say. Yeah, he's a pretty skinny bastard. But he's got to 40 days and 40 nights, which means he's exactly like Jesus Christ, and he's been evacuated, a medical evacuation, where, of course, Jesus went on to die for all of our sins and save us from eternal sin.

6:58But that's kind of where the similarities between Jesus and this guy ends. Yes.

7:03Mike Minogue:40 days and 40 nights. That's how long the great flood lasted. 40 days and 40 nights. No, he went into the desert for 40 days and 40 nights. He was.

7:10Keyzie:From recollection, that guy basically didn't get any food. He had one fish and just starved himself for 40 days. To be fair to him, he was pretty upbeat. He was. He was.

7:21Mike Minogue:He had the good Lord with him, man. Yes, that's right. 100 % because he had the good Lord with him. It's an amazing thing to have if you can have the good Lord. Yes. But they have that smile, generally speaking, the people that have the good Lord, don't they? They've got that look about them. A certain type of religion has it, not all. but he certainly, he was thrilled so he just starved himself for 40 days and went home Isn't that interesting, there's a guy starving himself for 40 days in the wilderness and there's another dude and there's another guy in West Auckland hammering a burger massively hungover 10am and a deep pit of shame That's right, and I know which one I'd rather be and then there's a guy who's catching fish and eels left, right and centre The old fella Yeah, and he's great.

8:06I really like him. But I'm on a cliffhanger with him. Yes. In that he's got horrendous gout. Yeah. Oh, seafood. Yes. He's eaten so – because he gets it really bad anyway. Yeah. But I don't think he'd made the connection. But he's been eating eel every single day. He gets gout. Which is pretty rich, isn't it? And his – it's one of the richest seafood you can have. And his ankle has just – Huge. It's massive. Absolutely massive. But now the medic, because they get checked up regularly, so now the medic boat's on the way to see him and he's hoping that they're not going to find out.

8:42Keyzie:Right, yeah. Because he doesn't want to get evacuated. He wants to tough it out. But it's very, very funny. It's really good, that show, because that's another element of drama in it is when the medics come out. And a lot of them are like, I know I'm fucked physically, so I just hope I can bluff my way through this bullshit. Yeah, mentally I'm all good. But yeah, the religious guy was quite happy to go home. But the numbers are thin and pretty quick now. It takes a while, but then they start dropping like flies. It's quite interesting because it's all around the same amount of time. Yes. But I'm enjoying it.

9:15Who would last the longest out of us? I've got no practical skills at all. No. Really, I've got none. Jase, you've held a fishing rod for longer than any of us, but I've probably caught more fish than you, even though I've never been fishing.

9:30Keyzie:I would genuinely, I reckon I'd last maybe two or three nights. I think you'd last the longest because you've got the most beef on your bones. Yeah, you've got a massive ass. So you'd be able to, you've probably got five, six years in you. You've got like layers of hungover burger fat on you.

9:49Mike Minogue:I'm like a camel. I store it all the way in my ass. You've got all the burgers wrapped in your ass.

9:54Keyzie:Well, actually, just on that front, a lot of contestants do that in the show where they beef up massively before they do the show so they can burn X amount of fat before they get down to the nitty-gritty.

10:06Mike Minogue:Are the contestants allowed to link up? Because if we did it, you guys could all come and eat my ass.

10:14Keyzie:I'd go home. I think I'd go home. Yeah. It depends where you went. I think if I went to that place, I'd be in a world of trouble. Same. I think the only thing keeping – But, like, I do watch a lot of, you know, camping stuff. Yeah. And I reckon I could probably go two or three, and then I'd be fucked. Two or three days? Yeah. Well, you could do that just if you were lost. True. True. But, you know, a lot of people get there. Do you get a tent? A lot of people, no. Yes, you do. Oh, yes. Well, you get, like, a wet weather cover, mats and all that sort of shit. You get a basic set up. But the, what do you call it there?

10:56The shelters they build are fucking amazing. Oh, some of them are not in that particular series. The fireplaces. They're building these fireplaces out of rock, and it's like they're fucking proper, proper fireplaces. Yeah, right. Yeah. Inside there. Yeah, they're amazing. That one. I couldn't do that. I'd be fucked.

11:14Keyzie:Alone International, some of the dwellings they built were fucking phenomenal. Is that before this one or after it? After. I really like it. Yeah, it's good. It is. And is Shay still there? Shay's still there, mate. Yes. Good. He's doing it. Good stuff. Which is annoying now because you're telling me that he hasn't won it, which is annoying for me. No, no. No, no. No, I'm not telling you that at all. Well, you kind of have, you're right. No. You know what I mean. Fuck, that's ruined the whole thing. But the only ones left other than that is, you know, a woman.

11:49Yeah. Who's really good. She is really good. She's the one that got the wallaby. Yes. Battered it over the head with a rock, Keezy. Would you be able to do that? A wallaby? Yeah, if you were looking to make 250k, could you smash Horty J over the head with a rock?

12:04Mike Minogue:Oh, Jase, yeah. Skin him and then eat him up? Fuck yeah.

12:07Keyzie:What part would you start with? Oh, don't give me that look, you filthy bastard. What? Hey! That's creeped me out. I'd eat that and then get gout. Because it's so ripped. You get a smoker's cough.

12:24Mike Minogue:This is The Big Show. 4-7 weekdays. You know the drill.