THE DISCLAIMER: The Danglers

0:00Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggett. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Hoda K. G'day fellas. Backbone. Hello. Yeah, that's the second time we've done that. Why, Jase? Why? Because Keyzie wasn't recording.

0:24Mike Minogue:Guys, this new system, I'm wrapping my head around it and there's going to be hiccups. It's going to be bumps in the road, right? I thought you said - Is there a record button or not?

0:33Keyzie:There is a record button. You said a week ago this new system is sweet as - It is sweet as. And it's fucking so easy. It is so easy. So what are you talking about?

0:42Mike Minogue:Jase, you can't even log into the computer in front of you, all right? Don't give me shit about this.

0:46Keyzie:Yeah. It's got you there, man. Yeah, that's true. But then I'm no technical whiz-keasy like you are. That's true. It's got you there. I'm not a game boy sort of techno kind of geek.

0:57Mike Minogue:We're doing each other while Mogi watches. Yeah, yeah. He's watching us do each other. Well, funnily enough, funnily enough. Sorry, finish your thoughts. I was going to say, Game Boys are like 25 years old. Bad reference. Wake up, man. Sorry. You're just done. He's done. Far out, man. I was just over at the gymnasium there. Oh, yeah.

1:18I got a little bit of a surprise. I got a bit of a shock. I haven't had a shock for a while. Yes. And I'm down there. There's a fowler over there. Pugs doesn't go to that one. God, he's in good shape, this fowler there. You know what I'm saying there? Yeah, I do. Good looking fowler he is as well. And he ripped to bits there, Keezy.

1:43Mike Minogue:I was like, he'll run out of breath soon. You'll have to stop. Yes. Anyway, I'm there. And we generally, somehow we always seem to finish our workouts at the same time. And he normally comes, Grandpa, down the stairs after me. But he goes to a different area of the changing rooms than I do. You tend to, when you go to the gym, and you won't know this, you stick to the same lockers pretty much. Yes. Anyway, so he turned off. I went to my locker. But then I heard another fella coming down the stairs there. And then I heard the other fella chatting away. The first fella. The first fella there. So he'd gone.

2:19Now he's come back. He's just by me there with this other fella there. I didn't hear what they were talking about. but very close, like from you to me away, J. So what's that, six to eight foot? Yes. And just as I turn around there, each of them grab each other's forearms and just pass each other. Wow. And I wasn't expecting that. Now, obviously there's nothing wrong with it at all. No. But I was not expecting that. Yes. It was a surprise to me. Yeah, yeah. And so I said to them, oh, sorry, because I started laughing there, you see. And they said, what's the matter with you? Really? And I said nothing at all.

2:56I said that's just, I don't see enough of that. Keep it up. Yeah, good work.

3:01Mike Minogue:Good work, fellas. What did they say? Just laughed. Were they naked? No, no, no. Right. Still in the singlets and all that sort of thing. Yeah, good stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good stuff. But it was just. I know what you're saying. I think any kind of kissing in the changing room would be odd to me, but particularly in that changing room because it is, you don't see it. Also, yeah, it's not often. You see it out and about more. I never see two dudes or two chicks hooking. To be honest, I don't see, what is it? PDA. PDA. Very often at all, two people hooking into each other, let alone two people of the same sex.

3:32Mike Minogue:It's even rarer, you know what I mean? So I would have been like, oh, shit, as well. Yeah. It was a deep, passionate kiss, Keezy. Wow.

3:39Keyzie:Had an experience. It's the grabbing of forearms that's random. Well, that was right. And that's why I asked you to tell me where the photo was, that AI photo of us kissing. because in my memory, we were also holding our forearms and I thought, oh, is that a thing? But that's not what was happening. No.

3:55Mike Minogue:It was like one arm around the other. Yes, yes. It was a passionate embrace. Yeah, it was also fake.

4:00Keyzie:Yeah, it's funny when you do a double take, I think I've told you this before, I was on a beach on Waiheke, strangely enough.

4:10Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Beach Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Now that's good listening. And it's live. What are you listening to there? Oh, me? Oh, sorry. I was listening to the Radio Hauraki Big Show. Right. Four to seven weekdays. Yeah, that's quite specific. And iHeartRadio.

4:35Keyzie:Wado. Cheers.

4:37Mike Minogue:The Hauraki Big Show Podcast. Now, I didn't know it was a nudie beach.

4:44Keyzie:I know the one. And I was lying there, and I'll be honest with you, I was pretty hungover. And with my trunks on, by the way, which is neither here nor. I don't mind not wearing trunks. Well, if you didn't know it was a nude beach and you were naked, there'd be a problem. Yes. And I was on my belly, and I must have just sort of dozed off. Right. Why is on my belly so funny? And anyway, my head was to the side. and when I opened my eyes, what I saw before me, about the same distance, again, about six, eight feet, Moggy, was a guy bending over, a really old guy, putting his beach towel down, and the most enormous pair of testicles I've ever seen in my life.

5:34Keyzie:So you're seeing that from behind. His anus is pointing at you? His anus is pointing at me. Yeah. And he's just got the danglers there, and I literally just opened my eyes and that's what I saw and I was like, holy fuck. I wasn't expecting. Pudge was just doing, we're cutting this thing. Why would we cut this?

5:53Mike Minogue:I meant more of a clip. Oh, it's a clip. Oh, right. It's a clip for social media. Thank you.

5:58Keyzie:Yeah. And they were enormous, but the same thing, which was I was not expecting to see that. No, that's right. Now, there's nothing wrong with it. There's nothing wrong with it at all. I don't have a problem, but I'm not expecting to see it. Exactly.

6:12Mike Minogue:Did you say the same thing to him? Did you say, I wish I'd sell more of that, like Mogi did?

6:16Keyzie:No, we didn't have any kind of conversation. Well, there probably wasn't much more to see. No. And then he just like, well, no, he sat down. On his nut. On his massive testicles.

6:26Mike Minogue:Did he like get one of them and make it a chair and the other one was like a foot rest and then sort of sit on one and put his feet up on the other? Did every time he sat down there was a squeak, like a rubber toy that a dog plays with? Yes, Mogi. Oh, yeah, yeah, Mogi. Yes, Mogi, and no he's in. Oh, okay.

6:44Keyzie:And I want to be quite clear about that. And then, you know, it was my wife and I and two friends of ours, and actually they must have known in hindsight. But anyway, quite a few people ended up turning up at this beach fully nude, and then I had the dilemma of, oh, do I go nude? Because it's a nude. Otherwise it feels like you're just there to perv. A family member of mine goes to that nudist beach. Right. It's along from Maunitangi. It's around the rocks. Yes, yes. And she was approached by – she goes down there for a nude sunbathe. Yep. And then she was approached by a young gentleman. Right.

7:24She was like – Okay. And he's stood in her sun. And they've been together now for about three years. Wow. How about that? How good? How about that? That's great.

7:33Mike Minogue:Wow.

7:34Keyzie:But, yeah. Massive balls on them. What I also noticed was that, in fact, everyone on that beach, your story excluded here, Mogi, was old. Right. We're talking 60s, 70s. 80s, 90s and today. And today.

7:59Mike Minogue:He's done you there, that old guy.

8:01Keyzie:Well, I mean, he didn't care. Was he looking at you? No, he had his arse to me, remember? For a shoulder, Kesey styles? Nah. He just had his ass to me. The eye of Sauron there. Yeah. He's done you with his brown eye there. Fuck yeah. But yeah, it was quite a sight, I've got to say, to wake up, especially when you're running a bit of a hangover. You probably don't need it, to be fair. When I was at anybody's anus, I think. Well, just to clarify. Even Kesey's. There was no real anus action. Well, there must have been if he was being an open. Well, yes, but he had a very - But your eye was drawn.

8:36Keyzie:But he had a very sunken buttocks. And so it was more just huge testicles. That's the thing that gets you. That's the thing that drew my eyes. I don't have a huge ball bag. No, neither.

8:49Mike Minogue:For some reason, I'm picturing like a grandfather clock where his anus is the face of the clock. Yeah. And then down below is just two pendulums. Two pendulums, but on the face of the clock, the anus, are two hands and they belong to Jase. Two hands. Yeah, I had my two hands on his anus. And he's like, what's the time, Jason? You're like, it's go time. That's what I'm picturing, Jason. Come on, man. Is that not how it was? No. That's all G. Do you know when I was over in Mexico where we ended up, a similar thing happened. Ended up on Anudis Beach and didn't realise. Same thing, actually, on the other side of rocks.

9:31Really small town, only had about 30 people there, but quite a good little tourist town there. And we ended up in these chalets which were on the nudist beach. Right, okay. Me and a very good mate of mine who was, in those days, and this was 20-odd years ago, he's come, he's much, well, he's not. Back then he was homophobic. Like you couldn't grab his ass without him firing up. Yeah, right. I know. So you're constantly grabbing his ass. And now he loves it. Anyway, there was an old fellow that was there, and he would stand, he was, I'd say, early 70s. Yes. Cowboy hat on. huge testicles. You just gestured to your tits.

10:08No, but I couldn't go below. Oh, okay. Yeah, because there was a desk there, Casey. Anyway, he would, every day, he would go down and stand where the tide lapped at the shore, right, maybe midway up his calf. Yes. And then he'd turn around with his hands on his hips and just stand there and just look back up at the beach and just face everybody that was sunbathing on the beach. Can I ask? Now, was it legs akimbo? Like he was a superhero. Yes, okay, good. With a flag on a flagstick and the flag is waving behind him. Yes. You know, like he's some kind of a returned veteran hero. And I thought, and my mate who was just sitting there fuming about it, wondering what was going on.

10:54But I've never seen anybody do that with shorts on. No. Do you know what I mean? He was only doing that to show everybody his humongous fatos.

11:04Mike Minogue:But also your mate who was fuming about it, that's a local there. Huh? Your mate's in a strange country in a strange town. Yeah. This guy wasn't local. He was American. Oh, well, I was picturing a Mexican guy. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, wow. No, that would have been great. Yeah, so that's obviously the local, you know, a whole brand. Tradition. No, people come from far and wide to get their D's out and show everyone. It's a real peacocking sort of a thing, you know?

11:28Keyzie:Yes. and I think you must reach an age where you just don't fucking care anymore. Well, not only do you not care. You care about having it out. Yeah, you've got to get it out. You want to. Yeah, you want it to air.

11:36Mike Minogue:Well, not even that. You just get your fucking weird jollies off of it. Yeah, people's discomfort. There'll be someone listening to this right now who loves doing that and is thinking, fuck yeah. Yeah, yeah, totally. This guy gets it and listens to these idiots. Listen to these guys, yeah. You know, and it's all power to you.

11:54Keyzie:Know what I'm saying?