THE DISCLAIMER: The Measure Of Man

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0:15Keyzie:Oh, g'day fellas. Hello. Backbone. Duh-do. G'day fellas. Duh-do. How's everyone going? Going good today, man. Yeah, good. I had a good sleep last night. Oh, thank God for that.

0:28Mike Minogue:Do you have a bath? Nah. Did a bit of work. Cool. I'll tell you what I did. I did a bit of work, but I sat on the couch. I've got my brother in all the time, and I came home, and he's sitting on my couch. Yeah, nah, that's not cool. That's not on, brother. We've got a track record there because you'll remember his mother used to come and stay, and she used to sit in my spot. Yes. And she would say things to me like after a hard day's year, because she would say, oh, is this where you normally sit? Yeah. I'd say, yeah, yeah, yeah. and she goes, oh, yeah, and stay there. Shocking bastards. Yeah.

1:00So it's right through the whole family, man. It's terrible. Yeah. Did you let him know that's your spot? Well, I said, when I come home, you stand up. Oh, really? That's what I said. And he laughed and we had a laugh, but he got the message. Yeah, very clearly. I think that's fair enough.

1:17Keyzie:We have fallen into, you know how when you go to bed, you all have a side? Yeah. I'm sounding like there's like four people in my bed. It's like the Chocolate Factory movie, yeah. Have your side. The same scenario on our couch set up. We've got one couch facing, you know, it's an L shape, one facing the TV and one side onto the TV. Yeah, the shit seat. Somehow my wife, from the very get-go, procured that L shape looking directly at the television, whereas I've got the one side on to the – so when I'm lying on the couch I have to turn my head. Right. And she'll go, oh, then you can sit here if you want to.

2:00Keyzie:And I go, no, no. She doesn't mean it. Yeah, you've still been polite after all these years. And I've had bloody crook necks from that. I wonder what would happen, Jis and Keezy, if you got to bed first tonight. Yes. Maybe this could be some hilarious social content that we do in our bedrooms with our wives. where you set it up but you just go to bed and you're on her side of the bed. Yes. What kind of reaction do you think you would get?

2:24Mike Minogue:She'd think it was funny. Would she? And then try and - What are you doing? And then hop in on my, yeah, 100%. And then she would hop in on her side but like right up against the edge. Would she? But to be honest - This is my side. I'm the one that likes the right side of the bed. It's more me. The right side? The right-hand side of the bed is because I like to, when I'm like watching something on my laptop to fall asleep, I like to roll over onto my right shoulder. But surely it goes doorway, you walk in the door, and the first person is you. And then my wife, yes.

2:57Keyzie:Yeah, same here. Yeah. Same here. So if there's an intruder, they've got to go through you. Yes, because I do the spoon on my left-hand side.

3:06Mike Minogue:Yeah, that's the same thing as well, actually.

3:08Keyzie:Five to ten minutes max. Yes. And then I turn to my right to go to sleep. Yes. Well, in this house that we're in now, currently I'm on the right-hand side, of the bed. Yes. But we moved bedrooms, and then there was on the left-hand side of the bed. Right, okay. Because it was closer to the door. Right, I've got you. You know what I mean? Yeah.

3:27Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. And to be honest, we probably changed depending on the bedroom. You've been in that bedroom for a long time, Kesey. I have. I never change. Well, you were. I refuse.

3:38Keyzie:I never change, Kesey. You've been in two bedrooms in 30 years. Yeah, well, that's right. But even when we go away, it's always the same. If we, you know, be in bed or go to a hotel or whatever, I'm always on the right side.

3:49Mike Minogue:I really prefer that too. Yes. I don't want to be on the left side, but I will. Do you consider it? Because I've put that thing in the chat, but that thing of that these are the things that you've got to do. So you've got to be, it's got to be, you've got to be on that side closest to the door, no matter what the side is in case of an intruder. The one I always, I agree. The one I always think about is when you're walking on the footpath, do I have to be on the side with the traffic? That's right. In case a car jumps the kerb. What, like, so I can stop the car, it has to get through me first? Exactly, that's right.

4:19Mike Minogue:That's bullshit. Yeah, that's right. And then also letting somebody through the door is another one. You know, ladies first. Woman and children, if a boat's sinking. Yes. Or a house is on fire as well. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. Oh, g'day, mate. Oh, hi, mate, yeah. Look, if you want the chance to win all our on-air competitions and stuff and get amongst the live conversation, tune in to the Hauraki Big Show, four to seven weekdays on Radio Hauraki and iHeartRadio. The Hauraki Big Show podcast.

4:59Keyzie:I'm not on the right-hand side of the bed as a consideration for if we had an intruder. No, you're there because it suits you. Because it suits me. But what I will say is that when my wife and I are walking in the CBD and I see a dodgy character coming towards us, I'll always try and insert myself between the dodgy character and my wife. Right. So if he goes, da-doosh, old Hoodie Jay clicks into gear. Yeah.

5:27Mike Minogue:Oh, yeah! What, you start doing racist sort of sound effects? Like an impression of karate. Yeah. Like an 80s karate movie.

5:37Keyzie:Hi-ya.

5:38Mike Minogue:Jizzly.

5:41Keyzie:So, yeah, I do do that. Yeah, do do. But, you know, I'd like to think, I don't know, but I would like to think if there was an intruder, I'd be the first up, of course.

5:50Mike Minogue:Yeah, the first to go. Yes. Out the window. Yes. My wife has the best seat in our house, too, on the couch. She's in the bar. Does she? Yeah, in the L. Yes. Corner of the L, beautiful spot. And I'm off to the side, and then I'll try and put my feet up on the L, on like a side of it diagonal, and she'll always have her feet there and then she'll go, and then have to move hers across.

6:09Keyzie:I tell you what, though, now that we've got that magnificent coffee table at my joint, I just put my feet up on that. Yeah, well, you should. I just go straight on. Yeah.

6:17Mike Minogue:Well, actually, I was doing that at your come dine with me for a bit there when the wires were on, and I wasn't sure whether I was allowed to.

6:22Keyzie:I saw you do that. That's quite rude, yeah, someone else's house. I saw you do that, and I was going to go, that's all G, Kesey. Yeah, because you were trying to get a good score. Well, no, because... You don't want to go telling your gift shop. But it's so big.

6:34Mike Minogue:There's no way to put my feet.

6:35Keyzie:No, there wasn't. It's such a rustic table. Who cares if, you know, you've put your - Your big hooves on it. Your big hooves on it. Your clompers.

6:42Mike Minogue:And I had my clompers off. Did you? I had my socks on. Yeah, because I don't want to wake the neighbours. Yeah, I have my shoes off. We're all worried about waking up your neighbours. No complaints from the neighbours that I'm aware of. Because we had our socks on, man. Yes. And my wife, she does clomp around, and I told her just to take it easy. My brother-in-law, he's a clomper as well. Heel, toe. Big heeler. Yes. He came up the stairs the other day and he walked in and I said, it's almost like you've got a heel on each foot and then instead of toes you've got another heel. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

7:13You've got four heels. And he said, I was walking up the stairs, I was thinking, is he going to say something?

7:20Mike Minogue:You've got to walk up with your toes right upstairs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

7:24Keyzie:I'm a clomper as well, I've realised, and it was only through the videos that Keezy did of us doing golf. And I was like, I've got the weirdest, stupidest walk. I'm like a real plodder. You know what I mean?

7:39Mike Minogue:Plodding along there. But it's, you know, it's. Jase, it's your golf that does the talking, man. Yeah, true. That's true, man. Fuck, it's good. Yeah. Actually, it reminds me, I've got to cut another. We filmed another golf video today. I've got to edit that. Oh, yeah. You played golf today. How'd you go? It'll take ages. I don't want to talk about it, man. Our ambitions were. Under 100. You were talking it up. You said, I've got a feeling. We're both going to shoot under 100. Yeah, I was trying to be positive. Yeah, we had a fucking shock. Yeah, you were both dreaming.

8:03Keyzie:We both dropped a lip. And Kesey was like, Kesey said, I think I've sorted something out here. And I thought I had. Yeah.

8:11Mike Minogue:And I played well on the front nine.

8:12Keyzie:Let me just say, last week was my worst round ever. This week, it was my second worst round. Yeah, good. That's all. I'll leave it at that, all right? We were broken, decimated, physical wrecks. Yeah, good.

8:26Mike Minogue:But then it was like, fuck it, should we film a video? And at least we've got something out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

8:32Keyzie:Plus the exercise, man. We've got my steps today, Mogi. Holy cow. I haven't had any steps today. I'm scutted about it.

8:39Mike Minogue:But it's amazing when you think you haven't had any steps and then you look how many you've done and you're like, oh, I've done fuck all. I've done 500 steps. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, is it going to the toilet and shit?

8:47Keyzie:Yeah, well, 500 is fuck all. Yeah.

8:50Mike Minogue:But, like, all I've done is walk from my room into the shower, into the kitchen, into the lounge. Yeah.

8:55Keyzie:Do you know how I picked myself up today? Little trick. Oh, yeah. Hot pot tonight.

9:02Mike Minogue:didn't I tell you to think about hot pot