THE DISCLAIMER: The Night Of Nights

0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Dog It. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Hodeque. Oh, g'day fellas!

0:17Mike Minogue:G'day fellas! Hello.

0:21Keyzie:Okay, it's going to be like that, is it, Keyzie? What do you want from me?

0:24Mike Minogue:Just very short and curt. No, I'm ready for whatever shit you're going to be giving me.

0:28Keyzie:I tell you what, fellas, how bloody cold was it today? I went outside and it was like, I think it was about 10 degrees, felt like 2. Oh, do you know what? I went outside, it was 10 degrees, felt like 2, smelled like 4. Okay. Tasted like minus 6. Yeah. Yeah. I was genuinely shocked when I went outside. I even went, ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Oh, my nerves. It's a bit nippy. What do you think about this weather we're having, Keezy? and my four inch nipples just went twang. Fuck yeah. Man, I'm full of beans today. That's great, man. Yeah, it's so good. How you going, Keezy? Talk us through it, brother. Today was one of those days.

1:09That's a horror of a voice you got on you. I know, it's great. It's from talking shit. It's your voice. You got a bit of a sniffle going on. You're obviously racking lines. We frightened center last night.

1:18Mike Minogue:Just hoovering them up. Yeah, good on you. Spicy noodles for lunch. Today was one of those days, and I actually targeted last night, because I had two weeks of working two jobs through the weekends and I was like, at least the Pie Awards is just after it and I can have a blowout. And so I intentionally kept the day free. Literally woke up at 10.30. Wow. You did? Yeah. I knew you did. I commented that you did. Yeah. I got home at like 2.30, was eating a pie in the lounge watching Black Books. Naturally had my wife get up, go to the toilet because I obviously woke her up without realising. Sort of banging into the walls.

1:53Keyzie:Yeah. You just did it at one point.

1:55Mike Minogue:And then went in there, had a good old gas bag to her for like half an hour. Oh, did you? Yeah. She would have been loving it. She wasn't at first, but she got into it. She warmed into it. Yeah, yeah. She's like, look at this idiot. Did you put some Engelbert on?

2:06Keyzie:Sorry? Did you put some Engelbert on?

2:08Mike Minogue:Nah, it was the end of the night. Right. It was done. It was done and dusted. That's when I want to keep going. Well, that's normally when you do it. That's when I want to keep going. Yes. Nah, I had a good gas bag to her. Who was there? Who'd you sit by? I was like, oh, I sat by this person and Pugs was there. He had funny glasses on. He's done it again, old Pugs.

2:23Keyzie:Pugs was in a hurr of a mood with him. With Keezy. Yeah, they had a real set too. You just missed it, Mogey. Right. Because old Keezy here got in an Uber and Pugs rang him up to just make sure he was all good and in the Uber, et cetera, because he was so steamed.

2:42Mike Minogue:Okay, Jase is just the shit that's young all the time.

2:45Keyzie:And then Keezy just went and was like, And what actually happened? That's actually what happened. And Pugs, man, I was just checking to make sure you were okay. Pugs, you can explain what happened.

2:57Mike Minogue:So Keezy got, oh, I left Keezy and the winners to get in my Uber first. And obviously I didn't see him get in his Uber. Oh, how were the winners? Right, they're nice fellas. Yeah, yeah. And then, so in my Uber home, I called Keezy just to be like, are you in the Uber home? Yeah. And Keezy's response was If I said to you right now Nah I'm not all good I'm not in the Uber What would you do? You put so much muscle in there That is the gist of what you said You said if I said I wasn't all good What would you do? That was me asking out of curiosity So if I wasn't What would you have done? And what does it say between the lines?

3:29When he said that Yeah What did you hear? Go fuck yourself That's exactly what he was saying Pretty much the point That's what I heard too Wow No I'd agree with that It was just Keezy

3:40Keyzie:Lashing out because You are Colonel Mustard Because Because Pugson was showing concern for you. Pugson, based on that laugh, I'm now wondering how many darts you had last night. It was mostly vape smokey. Yeah, vapes, man. They're not good, brother.

3:54Mike Minogue:Tell you what, when it's a Tuesday night and it's 2 a.m. and you're at K Road. Oh, yeah, K Road. It's Saloon Bar. Yes. Not my choice. There's seven people there and the winners are like, yo, should we go crack on somewhere else? And you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. As soon as you leave the bar, you look around and you look at your watch and then you go, Fucking hell, it's Wednesday morning. Yeah. K Road is dead. Yes. You know, K Road of all... So I was like, okay, fuck this, I'm off.

4:21Keyzie:There is one place in K Road, a dodgy little bar, that seems to be open perpetually. And it's open all the time. And it has these red ropes out the front of it, like it's some sort of classy joint, but it's an absolute dive. And that's always open. Fuck yeah, good to know. Just for future reference. Yeah, exactly. Don't know what it's called, but it's got red ropes. The Horaki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Horaki. Oh, g'day, mate. Oh, hi, mate. Yeah. Look, if you want the chance to win all our on-air competitions and stuff and get amongst the live conversation, tune in to The Horaki Big Show, four to seven weekdays on Radio Horaki and iHeartRadio.

5:12The Hauraki Big Show Podcast. So talk us through the evening. I don't think we'll get too in-depth on it on the show.

5:18Mike Minogue:Best Pie Awards I've been to. I've been to seven. Yeah, well, I've been to none, but I was just talking to old Preb-san out there on the way on it, and I said, how was I saying it? He said, fucking good. It was great. It's funny because in your mind you think Pie Awards. You think, how can it be good? Yes. Really, I do. I do think that. Yes. Bakel's obviously has a lot of cash, so they just dump, obviously, tens of hundreds of thousands of dollars on this evening, and they paid New Zealand's second best Elvis impersonator, who just so happens to be Minaya Stewart's uncle-in-law, to perform. And then they paid Michael Murphy, who came second in New Zealand Idol, performed.

5:53Mike Minogue:Wow.

5:53Keyzie:Oh, my God, Michael Murphy.

5:55Mike Minogue:Yeah, but he was doing like a Buble-esque show. Nice. And there were dancing girls with the – yeah, it sounded great. It sounded just like him. Wow, how good. And there was like all these great dancers and stuff. How's he looking? You worry that the looks will fade. He was quite a cutie back in the day. He was quite young. How old was he? Oh, he was very young, 21 or something like that. But he's a hammer hand, I think, in Taupo. He might be a builder now. Yeah, he looked pretty – I could certainly – when he said Michael Murphy, because Corbett emceed the night and even made a joke that the Elvis impersonator looked like Jason Hoyt in a wig.

6:27Mike Minogue:And there was a smattering of laughter from the Hauraki taking. There would have been a smattering of laughter. He probably thought that you would be there, Jase, based on your relationship to pies and the evening and Hauraki, et cetera, et cetera, not knowing, of course, that – but what they did is it's so quick it's like highly commended blah bronze blah silver blah and gold make some noise for blah blah blah they come up to a really short speech the the tradition is always they either thank their wife or if it's the lady speaking she'll thank the husband which is the cue for everyone to applaud really loudly right and of course thank you to my wife yay it's just like a tradition at the piewoods it's really funny i like that um it's what really funny it's yeah it's just the whole audience cracks up every single time without fail it's so

7:07Keyzie:But I'm just not interested in awards generally. No, you've missed out that many times. Yeah, but you know what I mean? It's great that people get awards. I'm just not interested.

7:18Mike Minogue:It's the spectacle of the night. I don't care. It's a really heartwarming night too because they're all usually people that have emigrated to New Zealand and have started up these cafes and they're genuinely emotional and super stoked about it. It's really nice. It's great. It's really nice. But it's just a really good show and the free food, free booze. What kind of booze have we got? It was like tigers and heinies and stuff, and there were bottles of wine at the table. I ordered about three bottles of Shiraz. Oh, yeah. It was really nice Shiraz. I kept being like, everyone, you have to have some of this Shiraz.

7:48What was that wine you brought over to my house?

7:50Mike Minogue:Penfolds. Oh, yeah. Cab Sav. Cab Sav. I brought you a Shiraz, Moggy. Yeah, we got through. That night, we got through about six or seven bottles of wine. Wow. Yeah. I also bought one for Puckstone.

8:04Keyzie:Did you take the one I bought you home? Or did that get drunk? No, I think we drank that. Yeah, I drank.

8:11Mike Minogue:I was very grateful, Jase, but I didn't want a gift for houselifting because it wasn't a gift. I was very grateful regardless, and I did forget. Oh, you should have had it back then, Jase. I'll bring it over. Yeah, thanks, mate. For your night. Yeah, you do. That'll be my gift to you for hosting. I'll go, oh, that looks familiar. So you get there. You're mingling to start with. Keezy, at what point have you hit the dance floor? No dance floor, but standing in a group of essentially our colleagues, you know, me, Prebs, Mania, Kay. That must have got old pretty quick. Drinking beers. It is pretty old.

8:42Mike Minogue:Fucking hate those guys. Get you to your table there. You sit down. I was on a random table of assorted guests who I only knew, Hayley, who works here in the office over that side. And it was just her and I were the only two. Oh, Graham Hill.

8:56Keyzie:Oh, my God, Graham Hill.

8:57Mike Minogue:He sat next to us. And I was like, Graham Hill. And he's like, yes. And I was like, you used to work on a sports cafe. I used to work at Crugger's Wild, same company. He's like, oh, and we had a yarn. And he sat next to, because he's been to 20-something, there was a 21st Pi Awards. Wow. He always gets invited. He must be a mate of someone. What's he doing with himself? He was working in media for ages as a journalist, but I think he said at the moment he's running an avocado watch in Tauranga.

9:21Keyzie:Wow. And I was like,

9:23Mike Minogue:hey.

9:24Keyzie:I used to really enjoy Graham Hill. I quite like him. He's a very funny guy.

9:29Mike Minogue:Afterwards, he's like, this is the best Pi Awards I've ever been to because everyone's really friendly and chatty. Usually I just sit by myself and no one talks to me. Oh, really? Whereas we had a table. It was probably like me, him, and Hayley, and then the rest of them would have been early 20s people who probably wouldn't talk to a guy his age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was very, very funny. Yes.

9:46Keyzie:He's got some good yards, that guy. He has, and he's a very intelligent fella too. Yeah. Knew a lot of stuff. If that's interesting for you, sure. Yes. Oh, well, that's great, Keezy. Well done, Keezy. Really good night. How are you feeling now, man?

10:01Mike Minogue:Tired. but I literally today I was just like I don't give a shit this is the beauty of this job is you can have a blowout and I woke up at 10.30 I had hot noodles I fell asleep on the couch I had a bath oh