In short
Morning banter on The Horaki Big Show about golf struggles, sleepless/illness-filled family life, and comedic domestic “wife” dynamics, plus tea preferences and weekend plans.
Guests
Keezie, Jase, and Mogey (regular hosts/regulars on The Horaki Big Show podcast).
Guest backgrounds
Keezie and Jase are recurring radio personalities; Mogey is a family-focused co-host describing his wife and daughter, and his brother-in-law moving in from Australia.
Key claims
Jase says Keezie played badly but still won by “about four” shots on a brutal, mostly uphill 8km golf course; Mogey claims he woke at 3am worrying about life, then cared for a sick wife/daughter; Keezie describes being “terrified” of his wife’s snoring and reactions.
Notable examples
Mogey’s daughter’s flu exposure (“12 kids off sick”); Keezie hearing a snore like a “chainsaw” and fearing trouble; tea talk including switching from tea to coffee and rooibos.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOGolf Day Stories
0:45 to 1:48
The hosts share humorous anecdotes about their recent golf experience and challenges on the course.
“Tell us about your golf year to shock you, Jase.”
Mogey's Morning Routine
1:48 to 2:55
Mogey talks about his chaotic morning, dealing with sick family members and preparing for a guest.
“I don't usually have much hill action in town, though.”
Sleep Struggles
2:55 to 4:13
The hosts discuss their difficulties with sleep and share humorous experiences related to snoring.
“And then a little bit of work, a little bit of work, backbone, backbone, backbone, and here I am.”
Tea Talk and Relationships
4:13 to 5:46
Discussion about tea preferences and the dynamics of their relationships with their wives.
“And I was lying next to my wife And I was like This is genuine I was like Who's that?”
Cooking Weekend Plans
5:46 to 7:21
The hosts talk about their cooking plans for the weekend and the roles of their partners.
“and as she raised her arm, you flinched.”
Cultural Tea Appreciation
7:21 to 9:18
The hosts highlight the cultural significance of tea across different regions.
“The one thing my wife will probably have the main hand on is dessert.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggett. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Hood AQ.
0:15Mike Minogue:Oh, g'day fellas. Oh, hello. Keezie. What was that? Come on, man. We're better than that. Come on, man. Really doing a fart noise and then going, oh, God. Keezie.
0:26Keyzie:Keezie. We're a little bit beyond the fart jokes, man. Come on, man.
0:29Mike Minogue:I didn't do anything. Oh, come on, Keezy. Jase, come on, man. You're better than this.
0:34Keyzie:You've been adding those farts to my montages that I make every day for the goat countdown.
0:39Mike Minogue:I haven't been doing shit. I haven't been doing shit. Haven't been doing a shit.
0:43Keyzie:How are we going, fellas? Good day? What a day it was, fellas. There and there. Tell us about your golf year to shock you, Jase. Yeah. Chips and chips and chips. On the green in two. Seven. On the green in two. Eight.
0:54Mike Minogue:Nah, like on the green in five because he had to do three chips. Yeah. You know how Jase loves chips? I do love chips. He was double fisting them on the course today.
1:05Keyzie:I really was.
1:06Mike Minogue:That was shit.
1:07Keyzie:But it was, you know, still, I'm glad that we persevered. Kese played very well, actually. He had a real run of form there. For a period. It was one of those things where you just persevere, and I wanted to punish myself, and I punished myself. Jase was saying that he played so badly that you beat him, Kese.
1:26Mike Minogue:I beat him, yeah, yeah. That's bad. That is shocking, isn't it? It's really bad.
1:31Keyzie:By like 20 shots.
1:32Mike Minogue:No, that's not true.
1:33Keyzie:By about four. It was just, and it's just a brutal course, but I'm signed up now, so I'm going to have to fucking master the bastard.
1:43Mike Minogue:Otherwise it's a waste of cash. Eight kilometers mostly uphill. It's good shit. That's why we do it. Not for the golf.
1:49Keyzie:Is that why you do it? You go for a walk. Tess does that in town. Partly. I don't usually have much hill action in town, though. No. No. You know what I mean? Yeah.
1:58Mike Minogue:Because you walk to the bottom of town, then Uber home, eh? Yeah. Lime scooter. Lime scooter. What have you been doing today, Mogey? Oh, Mogey there. Well, I wake up at 3 o 'clock in the morning thinking about my life. As we do. So that was cool. Did you think you were going to die? No, actually. That's good. So that was a bonus. And then managed to get back to sleep. My wife's been a little bit sick, so she slept till 10 a.m. Wow. Lazy. It's a good effort, isn't it? And then my daughter woke up sick. She's had 12 kids off sick with the flu in her class. So I kept her home as well. And then my brother-in-law, old Lukey boy, he moves home today.
2:36You mean with you? Yeah, with us. From Australia there. So then we had to tidy the house while I had to tidy the house while everyone else was having a sleep. Because you can't let him think that we live in squalor, you know. But then at a certain point I just gave up. I was like, you know what, fuck him. Yeah. you know? Yeah. And then a little bit of work, a little bit of work, backbone, backbone, backbone, and here I am.
2:59Keyzie:Da-doosh, da-doosh. Yeah, it's good stuff, isn't it? How did you wake up? What state were you in when you woke up, Keezy?
3:06Mike Minogue:For some reason last night I couldn't go to sleep, even though I was really, really, really tired. Couldn't go to sleep till like after midnight and then woke up at like really early. Did you put yourself on all fours? Yeah, I tried that for a bit. Really arched the back and worked. And I sat like that for like an hour. Okay. What?
3:25Keyzie:Nothing. Nothing. That's cool. The Horaki Big Show. Weekdays from four on Radio Horaki. You know how good the Horaki Big Show podcast is? Yeah, I love those fellas. Backbone. Yeah, backbone. You get it. You've got to get around the live radio show. Oh, yeah, when's that? Four to seven weekdays on Radio Horaki and iHeartRadio. Backbone. Nice The Hauraki Big Show Podcast Really arch the back Yeah and no good Nah because that usually works Yeah yeah yeah I Lying in the sea of your own filth Yeah that's right In a bathtub I was falling asleep quite nicely Oh god what happened
4:10Mike Minogue:You had a great sleep going there
4:11Keyzie:I was about to go through the gate into deep sleep And I was lying next to my wife And I was like This is genuine I was like Who's that? What the fuck is that noise? What is that noise? What was it? And for about two or three minutes it was going, and it sounded like it was coming from outside. And then I realised what it was was my wife had a really weird little snore going on. But it baffled me. What did it sound like?
4:40Mike Minogue:Do an imitation.
4:41Keyzie:I'm not going to tell you because you'll mention it again at our - Why are you so scared of your wife? I'm not going to mention it. Terrified. Terrified.
4:48Mike Minogue:What does it sound like?
4:50Keyzie:I initially thought, and this is going to sound terrible, it was a possum.
4:55Mike Minogue:Right. Right, because they're like... I don't know what they do.
4:59Keyzie:It's kind of a...
5:01Mike Minogue:Right. Terrifying. It sounds like someone's breathing outside your fucking window.
5:04Keyzie:And so then once I realised what it was, it had knocked me out of my potential deep sleep to full awaken.
5:12Mike Minogue:So your wife was snoring and that woke you up?
5:15Keyzie:Yeah. Well, I hadn't quite gone to sleep. Like a chainsaw, you were saying. Like a chainsaw. Fucking hell. Like a chainsaw that's got a chainsaw.
5:24Mike Minogue:So if your wife found out that you were talking about her snoring like a chainsaw, would you get in, like, big trouble? Big trouble. Big, big trouble. I'm just saying, curious. Curious.
5:32Keyzie:No, my wife. You're not curious. My wife, I think, would be, to be honest, indifferent. But why are you so scared of her? I'm not scared of her, man. You are. She'd be indifferent. She'd be like, yeah, whatever, the fielos. I remember at my come time with the fielos, and she went to give you a hug, and as she raised her arm, you flinched. You sort of cowered into the corner there and it looked to me like you were worried that she was going to hit you again.
5:56Mike Minogue:Is that right? Yeah, I remember that.
6:02Keyzie:This is going to be a fun Sunday afternoon, isn't it? What do you mean? But, yeah, nah, she's, well, I think she's like all of our wives. I think they're all a bit resigned about us. Yeah, the thriller's gone, certainly. Well, I don't even mean that the thriller's gone. They're resigned about us as a group. They're like, whatever. Whatever. You know what I mean? Your wife the other day was like, douche, douche.
6:27Mike Minogue:Backbone, backbone. Oh, yeah. No, she's ripping on me and then she went, douche, douche. And I was like, can you not do that for some reason? That's catchy, man.
6:37Keyzie:My wife does the same to me. She'll come out with a few of the phrases that the fellas use. Yeah.
Read the full transcript
6:43Mike Minogue:I do worry that you are scared of her. You do run to your wife and tell you're going to tell on us a lot. Jase, and I just want, you know what I mean?
6:51Keyzie:Yeah. I mean, I'm terrified of my wife.
6:55Mike Minogue:It doesn't feel much better to have said that out loud. Can I ask a question? Maybe this is best reserved for the show proper.
7:02Keyzie:Sure. We can bring it back up on the show proper. We can. We can. What's your plan this weekend? You're doing all the cooking yourself? Mate, I am deep and I am deep in it. That's not an answer. There's absolutely no answer at all. Yes, mostly. Oh, yeah. The one thing my wife will probably have the main hand on is dessert. Oh, yeah. Because that's her specialty. But who knows? Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. I mean, I'll make you down. Yeah, well, that's all right. Yeah. As long as the fellas have a good time. That's right. I'll talk about this on the show. Yeah, we need to chat about this after five today.
7:43Mike Minogue:Yeah, yeah. Especially Ari the Warriors.
7:46Keyzie:Yeah, because I did ask the question. Yeah, right.
7:49Mike Minogue:When you asked it, and I don't want to know. No, I wasn't scared of her, Keezy. Did you, like, make her a cup of tea and some biscuits? Like, here's a cup of tea and some biscuits. Hey, oh, yeah, that's right. This was an out-of-it one. Today the fellas are saying, like, we should watch the Warriors. How do you feel about that?
8:08Keyzie:Yeah, Keezy, I made her a cup of tea and I made her some biscuits.
8:13Mike Minogue:I didn't think you'd made them It's crazy that you did make them I thought you meant you just got them out of a packet
8:17Keyzie:My wife doesn't drink tea anymore
8:20Mike Minogue:Right, so that made her furious So then you retreated to the kitchen You recoiled once again Does she not drink cups of tea?
8:27Keyzie:No, she used to every day, Moggy She loved her tea I don't know, she's just coffee now She might have an herbal at times I like an herbal for an evening Yes, you know, your peppermint I'll be honest with you, I can't be fucked with hot water Well, actually, what I realise, because I can't be fucked with herbal teas, but then when I have them, I realise actually what I like about it is the hot water. Well, I like the effects, which is a better sleep, or at least the appearance, or seemingly I'm having better sleeps. Whether there's any connection or not, I don't know. But I don't like how I have to wait for it to cool down and then I get little sips and shit.
9:06It's just like, put it in cold water, old scarlet, job done. No enjoyment. All function, that's it. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Because what I usually do is I forget that it's there. Yeah, or same. And then it's cold and then I tip it out.
9:20Keyzie:We went through a period of about six months where every night we had green tea and it was like a little ceremony because we have this very cool little teapot.
9:29Mike Minogue:Did you have a kimono on?
9:30Keyzie:Were you in the teapot, Jase? Did you have one hand on your hip and then the other one out like a spout? Were you short and stout? And we had these cool little sort of Japanese cups. Were you singing a song? When I told my wife. His ability to ignore. When I asked my wife about the wares, I wasn't at home. We were walking in town. Oh, you did a phone call because you were so scared. Oh, a public place. So she couldn't. And I had my hands clasped behind my back. That was asking for trouble. As is my want.
9:59Mike Minogue:They were tied up. You know, my love.
10:04Mike Minogue:So green tea and a teapot. I want to get my flat. When I was flatting and studying. every night we'd pour a giant pot of tea, ten of us, and the flat next door would come over. We'd all sit around the table and have a cup of tea.
10:18Keyzie:Losers! Wrecking cheese.
10:20Mike Minogue:But, like, I really love, like, let's put a pot of tea on.
10:24Keyzie:Well, the English love it, don't they?
10:26Mike Minogue:Yeah, and other cultures. They love a cup of tea. Do you know who else likes it, Kesey? The Indians.
10:34Mike Minogue:That is true, actually. They got tea in India, Jase. I don't know if you know that. I do know that. Have you went to India? No, I've never been. Oh, you simply must. You'd hate it. Why? Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka's got lots of tea. China? Sri Lanka too on their teas, yes. Yeah, China. China. Of course, the rooibos tea comes from South Africa. South Africa.
10:56Keyzie:Well, funny you should mention that. My wife has started drinking rooibos tea. There you go. There you go.
11:03Mike Minogue:That is funny. Rooibos. Red bush.
11:06Keyzie:You're cruising for a bruising today, Keezy. A thwack. A thwack.
11:12Mike Minogue:Hey, listen to The Big Show, 4 to 7 weekdays. Frank Jacket, by the way, Keezy. Good listening. Thank you. A bit big. Oh.
From the publisher
On today's poddy, Mogey's in a weird mood again.
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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.
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