THE DISCLAIMER: We're Back On The Road

0:00Keyzie:For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok or Raw Doggett. 4 to 7 every weekday on Radio Horek here. Oh, gillay, Philz!

0:18Mike Minogue:Hello. Sorry, Pugs just interrupted me there. What's that, man? We're just at the very start of the podcast. We're just working, man. We're just in the process of doing our job here, Pugs.

0:27Keyzie:You had any time over the last 12 hours to come and say something. Literally, yeah. If you choose now. I actually don't think, guys, seriously, it was possible for Pugs to time that any words.

0:38Mike Minogue:Well, I think he did it deliberately. He was like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to fucking ruin this whole live show is what I'm going to do. Yeah, yeah, he's just in one of those moments.

0:46Keyzie:How are we, fellas? Good to be down on Welly again, mate. Yeah, it is, mate. How are you emotionally when you return to Welly? Are you a little bit over-carnal? Are you like, oh, thank God I'm out of this place? What's going on in Mogey? It's like pulling on a familiar pair of underpants. They're comfy. You know them. You feel like you can trust them, but they've got about four holes in the air. You're blowing the back out of them, yeah. You're blowing the back out of them, but I do love it here, and I especially like it. Look, don't get me wrong. It's not a beautiful day, but it's not blowing a gale.

1:17It's colder in Auckland. You know what I mean? It was nice. It was a good old day, and we went to a lovely cafe. We had some yummy food. I've caught up with a couple of mates here. It's the only place in the country where people shout out at me, Office of the Noag. Yes. Who knows that? It never happens anywhere else. That's so great. Yeah, so now I love Welly. I love Welly. I do miss it, actually. So it's nice to be back. Yeah. The man and old Keyes are going to get steamed tonight.

1:44Keyzie:Yeah, well, that seems to be the plan. That's the vibe I'm getting. Well, fellas, I'm leaving tonight. Yeah, you might as well get steamed. Yeah, well, I think Mogey's joining you.

1:52Mike Minogue:Are you actually getting steamed? I'm coming with you.

1:54Keyzie:Yeah, yeah.

1:54Mike Minogue:I don't think he'll be following me. I think he'll be the other way around. Mogi will be driving the express train to Hammond Town. Yes. And old Keezy's hanging on to the caboose for dear life. Keezy hasn't got a room. I think this is a first. Well, you've turned up your Keezy got no room. You've had to hang out with the local team, which you hate doing. Well, you know, as an announcer, I don't care about the ins and outs. Just give me a microphone. Yeah, let me do myself. Give me the chillies and the foo fighters and let me go to work.

2:21Keyzie:You will recall I did offer for Keezy to come and hang out in my room. I do. A very generous offer. Well, it was that generous. Thank you, Bogie.

2:30Mike Minogue:Because Jase is, and then I said, what the hell are we going to do? And then you said, beat each other off. Yeah. I'm all G, man. He's saving it because he's got a romantic weekend. Yeah. If anyone's going to be beating me off. It's got to be my wife on my romantic weekend. Right? Good God. Oh, God, Jesus, that's shocking. Because I'm going to get there and she's going to be like, oh, do you want me to beat you off? And then I'm going to be like, no, no, Jase already did it yesterday.

3:05Keyzie:That'll do me for the week. Yeah, thanks, everyone. Hope you enjoyed the podcast. It's good stuff.

3:12Mike Minogue:Oh, hell's bell. The Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. The Hauraki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hauraki. We're at Bethel Woods, which is a pub. What's this area called? The Terrace? The Terrace, you're right. Which I've never been to the Terrace before. Yeah. Different part of Wellington behind the Beehive. Hanging out the back of the Beehive. Hanging out the back of. Lunchtime was fucking reamed in here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was humming with office workers. Yeah, this is your real pub. Well, it is public servants, but it's also office-y, office-y around here.

3:46So I never spent really any time here either. Yeah. There's a little hotel just up this hill here. I might have stayed there actually the night before my wedding. I think I did. Yeah, but you don't really come down here unless you have to. And then also on the weekend, it's just a ghost town.

4:01Keyzie:Pugs' mum's outside. I'm very familiar with Old Wally. I've spent a lot of time here myself. You've had some shockers down here. Yeah, I have. But this area like you, Moggy, wouldn't have a clue. Nah. Don't know anything about it. Nah. It's kind of weird. I used to have an apartment just down the road from here in Thorndon when I was doing Gormsby. Gormsby, what's that? Seven periods with Mr. Gormsby. Oh, yeah.

4:28Mike Minogue:You know, I would have liked to have met Steve from Guidance yesterday on my birthday. Well, did you not? Nah. Well, I had two people left, and then you went to the break. I had two big guests for you. And the worst thing, of all cases, is we didn't get to Malcolm White from Talkback. Yeah, that was a shocker.

4:48Keyzie:And the tragedy about it, fellas, where I stayed, it was a beautiful apartment, but it was in the middle of nowhere in a way. Ah, yeah, right. And so when you're filming something and you're by yourself and it takes a bit of an effort to get into town and shit, it's just like, oh. So I just... So you've got curtains closed. Curtain closed and beeped off. Cask of wine. I kept the curtains closed, cask of wine and beeped off. Oh, if you pack this one up with your plugs on, man.

5:20Mike Minogue:Thinking of Kesey. The Wellington beat-off special. Far out.

5:28Keyzie:But it is a great city. I've got to say, every time I'm here, though, every time I feel like the last four or five times I've been here, the weather's kind of been the same. Well, we are always here. In fact, I'd say it's been worse than this, but we're always here at the wrong time, which is Beavana time. Yes. which is oh winter yeah it's always a freezing bastard whereas if you come in here in summer it's also freezing yes but it's a northerly northerly instead

5:55Mike Minogue:good shit man I love it what do you reckon Keezy man you excited about your big weekend bud? I actually am really looking forward to it but it's one of those things where before I can go to my romantic weekend away I've got to go to Wellington and do a live show yeah you know so there was a bit of stuff to get through but by the time what sort of stuff was there to get through? Pack your little bag, a few beers. Pack my little, play golf with Jase. Yeah, yeah, you're very busy. When I was thinking about it, it was like, play golf with Jase, go out for dinner with my wife, then go to Wellington, then fly home, and then go on my romantic weekend.

6:29Keyzie:In fairness to Kesey, I'm of a very similar mindset where when I'm looking days ahead, I plan it all out in my head. I've got to do this, I've got to get this done, I've got to make sure this is done, do this, and then it's freedom. Yeah. I'd pretty much forgotten about the trip until you guys said last night, have you checked in? And I was like, oh, yeah. That's right. We've got a Wellington, aren't we? Yeah, I did a bit with this trip too. Yeah, yeah. I went, oh, fuck, that's right, Wellington. And luckily it was an early one because, of course, our flight got initially delayed a little bit.

7:01Sail off with a little delay, didn't we, Keezy? And then it was a case of, hey, everybody, we've found a leak. Get off the plane. We've got to get on another plane. And they just had another plane sitting there, which was pretty good luck. Yeah. So it delayed over an hour. And I tell you what. Evacuated off the plane. The people that just, you know, this is pretty well-worn chat, but people that are desperate to get off the plane and push in and all that sort of shit. Yeah, man. Fuck, it kills me.

7:29Keyzie:Same. I always just sit there filled with disdain. Yes. It's like, for fuck's sake, you're not going anywhere. Sit your ass down until it's your time to leave. And then even then, they push past our aisle. Yes. you know like don't wait for people just you know it doesn't really happen up the front

7:47Mike Minogue:in the kuru section yeah true it's literally like no after you sir how do you do yeah that's right hello madam yeah but i feel for you guys i yeah is that why you were always up the front because

7:58Keyzie:of your kuru because you get free to choose the selection up front where those are the frequent and they're slightly bigger seats right okay and they are animals down the back well i mean i'm entitled to something. Put a bronze. You get that for signing up. Yeah. That's entry level, baby. Third place. It makes it sound like you're on the podium, but you're actually in last place. Yeah.

8:20Mike Minogue:Because there's, what's the top one? Elite. Platinum. And platinum. So you're actually fifth. And I'm fourth.

8:26Keyzie:Okay. All right. Well, don't get upset about it.

8:29Mike Minogue:I'll just jump in. That's fine, man. There's something very funny about telling someone not to get upset. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The other one I heard, Can you stop playing with your microphone? It sounds like shit.

8:40Keyzie:My cord's going across my microphone, and it's irritating me.

8:44Mike Minogue:But you could play five holes of golf yesterday with your shoe untied.

8:47Keyzie:That's because my toe was hurting. I genuinely thought you hadn't realized. No, I realized. No, I don't have gout, but one of my little toes was getting pinched, and it was fucking painful. And that was on the back nine, the whole back nine. Yeah, you didn't complain about that, did you? No, I didn't. No, no. Shut up and got on with it. He just walked around.

9:08Mike Minogue:I couldn't believe what I was saying. I was like, Jase hasn't noticed that his shoe's untied. But he had noticed. I didn't mention it. It's backbone shit. Well, anyway, fellas, shall we wrap things up there? Is that it? I'll go wheeze. Well, yeah, pretty much. Yeah, righto. I'll go wheeze. Okay. I saw Mogey had a durry.

9:25Keyzie:Did you have a durry or was that just me? I did, yeah. Someone smells like I had a durry, yeah. I did just out in this back alleyway here, Jizz. Oh, yeah. Where it says, I noticed off right, it says no smoking in this area. But it does say please. That's what I chose to say.

9:39Mike Minogue:I reckon you could go out there, Jizz, a little back alley smoking. No, man, I'm not doing it. Good for you. Good on you, man. I'm just having my...

9:48Keyzie:I've got my vape. Yeah. Yeah, you love it. You love a vape. Someone walked past me before when I was having a vape and said, Oh, hoity, Jizz. I'm sucking the ass off a vape.

9:59Mike Minogue:Yeah, thanks, man. Do you know what you did, actually, when you walked out to have a vape before? You walked out of the doors, looked straight ahead, straight into the path of a guy who then stopped, and then you sucked on your face, and he went, raised his hands and walked around you and walked off. Yeah, old oblivious jizz. And so that's why I reckon Jase has all these strange encounters with people that he's genuinely walked in front of. So that way you told yesterday about walking out of the shop, you actually probably collided with it, but you didn't even notice.

10:28Keyzie:There is an element of truth in that in my vacuity.

10:31Mike Minogue:Oh, no, it was 100 % true what I just said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not an element. Yeah. That's exactly what happened. Listen to the big show, 4 to 7 weekdays. And if you're in the area, come on down, even though we're probably done by now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, good shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bye. Okay. Okay then. All right. Okay.