Break Free from the Fear of Failing with James Wedmore

0:00If you've been feeling stuck in your business and wondering if you're the reason it's not growing faster, I have something for you. I'm hosting a free, no-pitch, live class called Three Money Beliefs That Made Me Millions. And I'm sharing the exact mindset shifts that helped me go from million-dollar years to million-dollar months. This isn't fluff. It is a surprising strategy that changed everything for me, and I want to share it with you. Like I said, no pitch, no fluff, just you and me talking about how we shift our beliefs around money to make you millions. Save your seat now at jasminestar.com forward slash millions.

0:32I can't wait to see you there. I'm Katie, president of Social Curator, and you're about to hear a powerful segment from one of our most transformational conversations on the Jasmine Starr Show, a conversation with entrepreneur and business coach James Wedmore. Now, this episode gets right to the heart of something we all wrestle with, and that's failure. Jasmine opens up about how she wants to find herself by her failures, and James unpacks why that narrative is not only false, but one of the biggest reasons so many entrepreneurs stay stuck. If you've ever felt like you were the failure, not just that something failed, this conversation is going to challenge you, empower you, and shift the way you see your role as a business owner.

1:11Let's jump right on into it. My whole life, I had defined myself by my failures. And I never defined myself by what I thought was success. us. So I met James and during the first year, he told me there is no such thing as failure. You're simply learning a lesson. And I want to say, I really wish like what I want to do, James, is be like, I heard it. My life changed and I was never the same. But it took a couple years for you to really reprogram like what that was. Can you help us? Like for people who say, I don't want to do this because I don't want to fail or I have failed in the past or worse, I'm a failure.

1:53How then do we change that narrative? Yeah. Well, I want to take a step back because I think it'll create another context for the context you've created for this episode. So you can almost hear what Jasmine and I are saying from like two different vantage points. There's a lot I'm doing behind the scenes that Jasmine still doesn't know that I was doing with her and the other members. I'm a contrarian by nature. and how that serves me in working with clients is that what we have to understand is that there's a reason why success is not common for entrepreneurs. It's becoming more common, but it's not traditionally.

2:32You hear most people fail, most people don't make it. And we have to start looking at why. And there's a lot of reasons, but what we can pinpoint point or the angle I take on it is based on what we would like to call your model of the world. In other words, if you imagine that we all have a model of the world that we've already kind of established is the way the world is, it is not the world. It's just our model of it. And you can even hear it in the way that Jasmine's talking about this first big breakthrough for her. what did she say? She goes, I developed the belief of. And so what I do when I'm working with someone is I challenge the F out of their model of the world.

3:21And I start to break it down and crumble it in the ways that serve them. And I challenge a lot and it can be a little bumpy. Now, Jasmine is someone who's uniquely coachable. And so what would take someone else maybe a few more years, she was able to do very fast because she was one of the most coachable, open-minded, and open-hearted entrepreneurs I've ever had the privilege to work with. And so she - Can I stop you there, James? Because do you know that in my entire life, nobody has ever said that I was coachable? And when you told me, but Jasmine, and you just see it like it was flippant. It was so passing as if it was something I had heard ever before in my life.

4:00And you're like, oh, Jasmine, you're just coachable. And I just nodded my head. And I'm telling you, It felt like if I was wearing like a Girl Scout, like sash, I would have put a pin on it and say, I am coachable because it was the first time in my entire life that I heard truth about myself with a capital T that I had never, ever acknowledged before. And that was a big shift in my enlightening along my journey too. Well, and so then what does that mean? What it means is, is that you're not attached. You're not committed to a model of the world that isn't serving you. That's what coachable means.

4:34In other words, we go up, we grow up, we have these experiences and you look, you have to understand that what are the two primary contexts in which most people experience life? They're a consumer and they're an employee. We work for others and we buy. and what people do is create that context of life that is based on rules that we create. We create rules for our life from that paradigm, okay? Like selling is bad. It's a great example. I was dealing with a client with that today. Selling is bad, right? And where did that come from? That came from a time or a series of experiences where you had an experience of being sold to and you didn't like it.

5:20So you created a model of the world. You created a set of beliefs and a perspective from the vantage point of a consumer, a student, and an employee. And then one day we said, I want to build a business. I want to start a business. I want to grow a business. Yet we held on to that same model of the world. We operate from that same set of rules that we created when we were an employee, when we were a student, and when we were a consumer. And that is synonymous, analogous to learning your whole life how to play football, learning all the rules of football, American football, and then saying, great, let's play some basketball.

6:06And then wondering why you suck at it, right? And it's not you, it's just, It's a different set of rules. And I go into all of these and all that stuff, but what would happen is someone like Jasmine come in with a set way in which she thinks business works, marketing works, this is the way it is, you know, common sense, but, you know, common sense isn't that common. And so I just start chiseling it away. You just start challenging it. You start breaking away that old mold, that old paradigm and create a new one. And so this first one that she's referring to is this idea that we develop from a very young age, which is that we shouldn't fail.

6:53Failure is bad. Failure is a failure. You know, failure means failing, right? Like, it just seems like nothing good about that. And that's gotta go. That's gotta go so fast because that's a big one. That is such a big one. The first piece of that, and the thing is, we know it conceptually. So what I will say to people here in this moment, as you're listening to me, you will agree with me. But there's a whole difference. And this is why someone has to pay 20 and now the mastermind's 35 ,000, right? so it's gone up considerably. You know what? It should be more than that. We're going to get into that later.

7:34James, raise your prices. But there's a difference. And you can do this to yourself. You don't need to pay somebody a ton of money. But there's a difference. There's a gap that exists with people. So first, they're operating from a model of the world or a perspective that does not align with the outcomes they want. Like, I want to be successful, but I don't want to fail. that model does not work it is impossible that is like saying i want to go surfing but i don't want to get wet i want to be successful but i don't want to fail will not happen can't do it because your life and the context you create for your life ends up becoming how do i not lose how do i not lose i don't want to lose i don't want to lose and you get what you focus on and what do you get when you focus on i don't want to lose lose lose lose right so that's what i did right that's what i did my fear well there was something and there was something else you were doing which we'll we'll see if we get to that oh shoot he's about to spill the tea oh shoot but it's in the same vein of this and so you know challenging that model world but then once you understand it the new model as a concept nothing happens because knowledge isn't power it's just it's the potential for power nothing will happen until you apply that knowledge until you operate from that knowledge.

8:56So it's one thing to say, okay, James, I get it. Failure is a stepping stone to success. Yeah. You've heard it for a hundred years. Napoleon Hill wrote it and think and grow rich. The real question you have to ask is why are you not applying it? Why when you do that thing and it didn't work? Why when someone laughs at you, why when you get a criticism, why when someone says, I don't agree, or this is stupid, or it doesn't get the results you want, do we immediately curl up into a ball and recoil and shame ourselves, beat ourselves up and say, I knew it. And so until these things become something that is applied action and put into practice, we're still operating from that old paradigm.

9:32And so it's as simple as this. We'll talk about the failure thing in three seconds now. And then it just becomes a choice. For anyone who's actually committed, it's a choice. You operate from this new paradigm or do you keep operating from the old model world? And that's what we're going to keep going back for. You're going to choose your old model and you choose the old model, you're going to keep getting the old results. You want new results, you're going to have to start operating from a new model. Because as Jasmine said, your business, well, she alluded to it. The reason all the things that Jasmine's going to share today have nothing to do with your business is because your business is simply a reflection of you.

10:06Because who's the one creating it? You. So your business is a reflection of you. If you went and built a house today and you know nothing about building houses, that house is definitely going to be a reflection of your craftsman skills. So your business is a reflection of you. You want to grow your business. We got to get to work growing you. Okay. And it's, it's not growing in the sense that you would really think like you need to be smarter. You need to hustle more. You need to work harder. it's we need to shift the model and it's like a set of links or blocks of beliefs made up of beliefs about how you think success money sales business etc how it works and you change that model you change the results so failure is a big piece of this failure does not exist this is what really gets people there's no such thing as failure and the reason we can say that is in 3d reality, anything that you can touch or taste or smell or hold in your hand is something that we can see at least exist in the 3D.

11:13So, failure is not something you can put in your hand. You can't put it in your pocket, you can't put it in a wheelbarrow. So, then what is failure? Failure is a label, judgment, or opinion that we place on an event or circumstance or situation for ourselves. so we are choosing to call something a failure that doesn't mean it is and the problem is is people collapse it people say this thing happened it's a failure and they collapse that so they just say this is failure and then they do the worst thing you can ever do is you say i did this thing therefore i'm the failure and now the new model that you've created for yourself is that i am failure.

11:58And the fact is, is that you are such a powerful, and this is everyone's problem, and I love you so much because it was my problem so I can see it, is that we don't know how powerful that we are. We don't know how powerful our thoughts are. We don't know how powerful that we are at creating our world, that we will literally create ourselves in the moment we say, I am a failure. We are literally creating that and bringing that into existence and then finding evidence of that everywhere. And then we become the creation of what we created, which is failure. And if someone feels like a failure right now, the very fact that you feel like a failure is all the evidence and proof that you need to how powerful that you are, because you created yourself as that.

12:45And when you get present to that fact, you have the choice the opportunity to create again and again but remember to just remember that anything deemed a failure was your choice as a label it's like putting a sticker over over that launch that promotion that idea that product and it and it's just collapsing the two together and what i like to do is say let's pull that label off let's peel that label off and just look at the situation. Leaders are those that have the ability to deal with what is without opinions and emotions and fears and doubts. They just look at what is. And until you're able to do that, entrepreneurship is going to be a little bumpy.

13:34James, can I jump in? What you just said right now, you said we want to put a sticker over it and label it a failure. Yeah. And I want to talk about the complete opposite perspective because James is saying, I am lifting the sticker. And from my vantage point, I did not know. I was subconsciously telling myself, I don't want to look at that. It's easier for me to label it a failure and then just say, it is what it is. But James wanted to lift the sticker. And when you lift the sticker, you're bringing up your skin cells. You're bringing up the tiny pieces of hair. You're bringing up the shrapnel from your perceived failure.

14:13And he's lifting it up and you're like i can't bear to look i can't bear to look and he's like inadvertently saying look at the wound you could heal it if you just look at it right i feel like for the course of like our years together you were also you were always saying look at it and learn from it and the more i became accustomed to he's going to rip the sticker off then i became empowered to rip the sticker off so because fail when you're saying i don't want to look at it i'm going to call it a failure and look away. It's a form of resistance. You're not accepting what is as the facts. And when you resist it, it will continue to persist.

14:52You guys have heard that before. What does persist? This is what we're talking about. And the reason why it will persist is this. I operate from a context, and I believe this as truth, as gospel, as fact, that life is happening for you. And whatever desire is born within your heart, like it's what you want, not what your parents want, not what society wants, not what your spouse wants, but what you want, if it came from your heart, then you already have within you, whether it's the raw or mastered talents, but the raw talent, skills, and ability to turn that desire into a reality, which then would mean that if you're willing to commit to it, commit everything in your being to that outcome, that your success is inevitable.

15:37And when you begin to live your life from a place of absolute knowing in truth that your success is inevitable, that's a new power that you find. Power. Because what most people are doing is that's where the fear and the failure comes in, is they're operating from a place of, I don't know if this is going to work. What if it doesn't? What if I've wasted my time? What if I'm going in the wrong direction? So when you choose that, and that's a choice, it's just another one of these choices. Life is choice. And that's a choice. To live from my success is inevitable. Inevitable means it's going to happen.

16:13Then one of two things is going to happen. When you put yourself out there, this is what we call at-bat moments. An at-bat moment is when you put it on the line and you're either going to hit a home run or a strike, right? It's a baseball analogy. And for the non-sports geek in the room, okay, I'm going to use a baseball analogy when I didn't play baseball. It's an at-bat moment when you step up to the plate, everyone's looking at you and you're either going to strike out or you're going to hit that home run. So when you're doing that launch and that promotion or you put it all on the line, one of two things will happen to you, guaranteed.

16:47You will either get what you want or better. You'll get the result that you wanted or even better. That's option one. Or, and this is so important for people to get this, or you'll get the lesson you needed. I'd like you to consider that if your success is inevitable and the only reason you don't have what you wanted yet is because there's still something there for you to learn. As James said, failure isn't real. It's not tangible. It's not who you are. It's just a label, a story. And stories, my friends, they can be rewritten. This conversation is a reminder that you are the creator of your reality and that your business will only grow to the extent that you do.

17:30If this episode moved you, we'd love it if you shared or tagged Jasmine on social. Until next time, keep growing and keep showing up.