Facing Truths and Making Hard Decisions with Lori Harder

0:00Ten years ago, I made the decision to build my personal brand that was elevated, yet approachable, and reflected who I was, not just what I did. I created my website with ShowIt because it's true drag-and-drop freedom, so you can easily build and update your site. Plus, their real human support team, game changer. Want to try it for yourself? Head to jasminestar.com forward slash showit for a 14-day free trial and first month free when you subscribe. I woke up nervous. I was like, we got this. I know. And then after we start rolling, we're going to be fine. Totally. It's just because it's game time jitters.

0:31And if we did not have them, then this would be, we'd be too relaxed. Absolutely.

0:50Welcome to the Jasmine Star Show. I couldn't be more happy to start the second series of our co-host podcast series of the Jasmine Star Show with the ever amazing Lori Harder. Hey, welcome. Hey, I'm so excited to be here. Thank you, Lori. When you told me about this, I was like, wait, we can get content and have fun. All day. This is the best idea ever. By the end of the day, you might just be ready to crawl out of my house and be like, I've had enough of her. But that's the best day. Absolutely. I just asked you. I'm like, how excited are you about your meal tonight? After this long day, it's going to be the best thing ever.

1:19So this is how you know you're in great company. It's not even breakfast yet. And she's like, are you already picturing your dinner? And I'm like, yes. Already. It's ordered in my head. Already. So we are already envisioning ourselves enjoying dinner. But before we get to that point, I told Lori I wanted this conversation to feel like we were two friends at lunch. And furthermore, throughout the course of this show, we're going to be inviting different people to join us at lunch. So I want to go back a little bit. I want to talk about where I met Lori, but then something that really changed in our relationship.

1:48And so give me a couple seconds and then we're going to interject wherever you see fit. We first met, I believe, to the best of my recollection, at Lewis Howes' Mastermind. Yep. Okay, so I met you and your husband, Chris. And I have to tell you, I was really intimidated. I saw you walk in the room and you and Chris, power couple. and you look like you literally walked off the pages of magazines. This is making me chuckle. Well, and then I come to find out, I'm like, this girl looks like she just walked off pages of a magazine. And then I come to find out that you were actually on the cover of magazines.

2:15And so I'm just like, oh, yeah, it's befitting. And so I get to know you guys and I find out that you're kind, you're brilliant, wildly generous with information and with everything that you have. And we stayed in contact, you know, and then all of a sudden I see that you and Chris got a house in Corona Del Mar, which Corona Del Mar, for people who don't know the OC, Corona Del Mar is technically Newport Beach, but it's such a beautiful part of Newport that they decided we're going to call it our own thing. It's like Newport within Newport. So this is like the envelope crest, Corona Del Mar. So Chris and Lori get a house in Corona Del Mar and you invite me to go on a walk with now our mutual friend, Lindsay Schwartz, who was on the podcast.

2:56Definitely check out her community-based episode. It was a banger. And so I'm meeting Lindsay for the first time. we go on a walk and within the first 10 or 15 minutes we're catching up about life business and everything on the in-between and then we got real so let's go back to 2022 let's go back to where you were and when you introduced me to the word pandemic do you want to go there can we start there we can start there for sure okay but first i have to tell you this is hilarious so the reason that i finally invited you on a walk even though we had been talking about it forever forever with Lindsay was because I felt more powerful and comfortable with her there because I was intimidated by you.

3:38Stop. Oh my gosh. Oh no. Oh no. I wasn't walking alone with you. I was like, okay, I can do it. Like there'll be plenty to flow. Like if you're here and I'm like, what was I doing? So she knew too. Like, I was like, you're my, you're my safety zone. And so, okay. So what's the first takeaway from people listening to any type of relationship is like you will tell yourself a story and you will tell yourself a belief. But then Lori did something that was really interesting. You brought somebody in to calibrate. She was a buffer. She was a buffer for me. She's so good. She's such a good wing woman.

4:09She just really is. Really is. Okay. So we're walking. It's just after sunrise. We're like in sweatshirts. You wore a beanie. You know, California. It's not that cold. But we wear beanies. We wear beanies. And so where were you at at this time? Like, let's start this conversation because I want to have... The reason I invited Lori as a co-host was because we were talking about conversations that we, in retrospect, said, I wish we knew these conversations. I wish we had these conversations. I wish these conversations were normalized. And I thought, who better than having these conversations and curating a list of powerful guests today talking about what it means to be in business than you.

4:46So let's go back to that conversation. Okay, so 2022. Here's what I would like to share first with people is that when you sign up to be an entrepreneur or have a business, you're signing up for the largest personal development course of your life. That never ends. Right. That never ends. Right. And so in 2022, I was in a place where I was literally hitting walls left and right. And I had, let me start with 2020 to get you up to 2022. So 2020, I had this idea after I had written a book, after I had done a bunch of events, After I had, you know, done things that I never thought that I would accomplish in my lifetime, I did not graduate from high school.

5:27Still never have. So for me to have things like a book or events or courses. A wildly popular podcast. A great podcast. On the cover of magazines. Making multi-million dollars like in three different companies. That is so far outside of what my brain was able to even handle. And so when I had checked off all of these boxes by about 2019 to 2020, I was starting to feel like I wasn't feeling challenged, like I was ready for the next challenge and to stretch myself. But I had not dreamed outside of that list. Like I had never allowed myself to go, what is next after this? So I wrote my book in 2017.

6:05About 2019, I had wrapped up like I'd toured it for like two years long. And I woke up in 2019 and I said, I actually don't know who I'm supposed to be, like what I'm going to do next. I feel like there's something that I want to evolve into, but have no clue what it is. And long story short, but my identity was so wrapped up into achieving at that point that in order for me to figure out what was next, I needed some space. So I took some space, gave myself some time to ask myself these three questions. If I had all the time, all the money and all the network in the world, what would I be doing?

6:37What sounds fun? Because I'd always... Okay, I want to pause there. Yeah, because I've always... My whole goal every time with this podcast is somebody's listening and they take one thing that will change where they are right now. And we kind of perhaps hit the first opportunity for somebody to have an action item to ask yourself three questions. If you feel like you don't know the next best step, or if you're wondering and you feel like there's like this calling for more, repeat those three questions that you asked yourself. If I had all the time all the money in all the network in the world, what would I be doing?

7:06And the reason that I ask those questions is because we always put a ceiling on ourselves and say Well, i'd love to do that thing, but that would require this Well, i'd love to do that thing, but I would need to be that I would have to know how to raise money And the reason I ask those is because I got really clear on the belief Like I had to force myself to believe that I could learn how to raise money That I had people in my network who could help me raise money that I could build out a network of people maybe that I didn't currently have who could help me with this. And then also with the time, I knew that I could make time.

7:38I could clear time. I could get rid of something in order for me to be able to have the time. And so with those three questions, it kind of like released all of the blocks that would always come up around like, well, I can't do that thing because I know that's what we do as women. That's what we do as human beings. And so after asking that question, I gave myself a year to play in that. And all of these different ideas came up because Chris and I also do something. This is a great actionable thing is we play something called stupid idea time on our walks. Love it. And stupid idea time is like, it doesn't matter how dumb this idea is, throw it out because it could actually start to morph into a great idea, especially with like the thoughts of others.

8:14So stupid idea time is like, hey, I'm literally saying 99 % of these are going to be really stupid, but let's get them out and see what starts rolling. And that's how an idea evolves. So started playing that. I came up with all these ideas. Jasmine, I almost had like a restaurant that only served brunch that was like a connecting for women. Thank God I didn't with the pandemic as well. But like so many ideas came into my head and one idea started to stick. And, you know, I had written a book called A Tribe Called Bliss. It was all about connecting women. And what I was finding is while I had these incredible women read the book, it wasn't reaching all like the mainstream women that I wanted to be reaching.

8:49The ones who thought that we connect over like girls nights and cocktails and wonder why they leave all these networking events feeling totally empty. And I was like, how do I reach that mainstream woman? Okay, she's probably going out for wine. She's like trying to have drinks and go out and she's coming back home feeling maybe like a little hungover the next day and empty and not getting what she needs. So what if I did a light wine spritzer and then a non-alcoholic wine spritzer and put three questions, very intentional questions on the back of the can? These three questions, I like studied these questions to make sure that whoever could ask these questions to each other got something that they needed.

9:25They either got a connection or they got to ask a question that they needed in business or one of the questions on the can. It was I know that one of them was something around what is your secret dream and who do you need in order to fulfill that? Oh, that's good. So if I asked you that, you'd have to. And we're holding a wine spritzer. Right. Like I'm getting open. Exactly. So I loved this idea. I go and I raise two million dollars from 54 female investors because I wanted to bring them along for the ride. Please note, I knew nothing about raising money. So I went to one of my husband's friends and I was like, look, you're talking to like eighth grade math level, but can I raise money?

10:03Can I learn how to do this? He's like, absolutely. Like I can help you. You can also get an attorney. They're going to walk you through the whole process. So even though it was really intimidating, I also knew that people just like me did it every single day. Okay, so I want to pause. You say, I have about an eighth grade math level here. And I also want to challenge myself. And I also know that there's a gap in the market. And so you simply say, can I do something I've never done before? And the answer was, or first then became, can I raise money? And the answer became yes. By asking the question, can I do this?

10:45Then how? Okay. I want to pause because I know the story, but as listeners are listening, I need to pause because there's a ton of power here by saying there was a story, then there is reality, and then there's asking for help. And so, okay, we're back here. Introduce you to lawyers. They're going to help you figure out how to start structuring, reaching out for investors. Yes. So at this point, I had built a really great network of people. And I just have to share that a lot of people are asking me, how do you raise money? Like, how do you, what do you do? Who can you ask? And one of the most important things you can do in Jasmine, you know this, but it doesn't matter what business you want to do.

11:23It doesn't matter if you want to do a product or, you know, courses, whatever. You need to simultaneously be building out your network right now because every good thing that will come to you is going to come by way of the people that you know and it's a long game and so I had worked really hard on building a network of people for where I wanted to go and that was simply by getting into masterminds and getting into rooms that constantly stretch me and saying yes before I'm ready that's so good and you all of a sudden wake up and you have these incredible people surrounding you also when you go into those rooms asking yourself the question, how can I serve them rather than what I can get?

12:00And I'm telling you the reciprocity that happens when you go into rooms with that intention is mind-blowing. So I decided to start, I got together a pitch deck, called a friend and I said, hey, I've got a couple pitch decks from these other companies I invested in. Can we look at them together? And I got Chris as well because he's pretty good with that stuff, my husband. And I'm like, can we all sit down and put a pitch deck together. So we did that. I want to pause. Like I want to connect some dots and this is going to be the common thread. You say, I have this idea and I wonder what if, and so you reach out to a friend and say, well, how do I get started?

12:36And then what we hear again is you reach out to a friend based on other pitch decks that you have seen and said, well, if they're doing that, and this is kind of sort of the structure of a pitch deck, can we sit together and create my own pitch deck? So two main things, like we see hurdles and this is where most people stop. And then instead of seeing the hurdle, you say, hey friend, can you help me get over this hurdle? Okay. It's never a what, it's always a who. That is my favorite quote is it's just like, we're always looking for what can I do? How can I do it? And I'm like, who's already done this?

13:08Because they've got the path for you. Yes, yours is going to look a little different, but if you have a general idea, you're going to get there. The other belief that I had to hold during this was it's okay to be messy and it's okay to be sloppy. So I asked people as they were who had done it before me, like, what did this look like for you? Was it messy? What were your first few calls like? That's really important to know that they screwed up. They felt terrible. They did, you know, it didn't turn out how they wanted. And so I came up with some things when I went to go and pitch people to raise the money because I was so nervous about those first phone calls because I knew I was going to get tons of questions I didn't have the answers to.

13:46But I also knew the only way for me to get the answers was to know what questions they were going to ask. So you just have to do it like baptism by fire. But I came up with something called freedom phrases. I named them later after I was using them. but these are phrases that when you feel stuck or someone's asking you a question that you don't know that I would have a default response I learned this from network marketing that if you can figure out what objections are coming for you before you get them you can at least have like that freedom phrase that releases you and gives you time to go figure it out so for me when people would ask me questions on the call that I didn't know I would say okay that is such a good question Other people have had this question.

14:28I'm actually going to get back to you in a day or two. I know exactly who to ask. And I'll come back and I'll email you all these answers. And so whenever they would do that, I'd be like, hey, also, these are my first couple calls. So I'm so grateful for you getting on the phone and walking through this with me. Oh, so good. Like take them on the journey. So you immediately create an ally rather than a critic. So having those things and bringing them with you was like, it made these calls amazing. And I have to tell you that I had more than two or three people say, you know, the reason I invested in you is because you said you didn't have all the answers, but you immediately went and got them.

15:03And that's what I want in a founder. So good. So good. So you put together the pitch deck. You're having these calls. You've later defined them as freedom phrases. You're showing that you don't need to have all the answers. You just need to be dedicated to get the answers. Correct. And so after you're doing these investment calls, how much money did you want to raise? What did you end up raising? What does that look like now? So I hit one million dollars in about a year, which, mind you, I think 70 over 70 percent of these women had never invested or knew what it was. So you went specifically to women investors.

15:39Yes. I wanted just women because I wanted to bring them on that journey. You know that in order for you to learn, you have to be in it and you have to like that needed to be their decision that they wanted to do this and understand why they wanted to do it and what they were opening up for themselves. You know, when you invest, you open an entirely new network and opportunity that you did not have. So and you get to learn like I knew this would be a mastermind for them that if they did it and learned, what does that do? It allows them to know how to do it themselves. Absolutely. And it has this very approachable group where I was like, I'm going to show you everything going on, like the good, the bad and the ugly.

16:15So that was sorry, I forgot the initial question. No, that was really good. The initial question was you had or the question and the answer rolled into one was you had raised a million dollars in a year. Yes. I needed to raise a million more, though. OK, so I hit at a year what felt like a block. I felt like I had exhausted my network. Got it. And so at that point, I realized my question had to change. It had to be, who else do you know? Or is there anyone who would want to invest in this? Like I went back to those original investors and then I realized I had to go next level of asking. So I would have women on the podcast and I specifically was having businesswomen and founders on at this time, like women that I would want to invest in.

16:58So I handpicked guests who I wanted to invest in my company, like very strategic. This is so good, Lori. Oh my God. This is the best story. Are you ready for this one? Okay. So I had this woman on, loved her, loved her book, loved her company. And so halfway through the podcast, I started telling her what I was doing. You know how that naturally kind of flows. And I I was like, oh, I can relate to that feeling of being afraid because right now I'm in a raise and this is how I'm feeling. This is the company. And so she starts talking about it. And afterward, when the podcast is closed out, you know, you have those like five, 10 minutes of talking.

17:37I was like, hey, I would love to be able to chat with you about the company. I'll send you the pitch deck and no worries either way. And she was like, yeah, send me the pitch deck. So I sent it to her that night. The next day she was in for a hundred grand, just met her literally. And then she sent me a referral email with 10 women on it, two of them being celebrities, and one of them invested really big the next week as well. Oh, I'm like, this is what the universe provides. God, universe, whatever you believe. When you do that scary thing, it will provide for you back in ways that you literally cannot imagine.

18:15First year to a million. How much time between one million and two million? It was like a half year. Heck yeah. Yeah, it was shaking out the rest of that network and doing that new method of like. Of course. Because initially to get from zero to a million, the investments were, I'm assuming, smaller than a hundred grand or two hundred grand or whatever you did like subsequently. Correct. With the new network. Oh, that's so good. Yeah. So you get to two million. Mm-hmm. You have it and you're ready to go. Yes. We had been kind of working behind the scenes, but what happened is the pandemic was also happening.

18:48and you know people were telling me for that that second million that I was doing that was right during the pandemic and they were like you're never going to raise this money like I had women who I really looked up to tell me you're never going to raise this money which I just want to say really influential people will tell you things during this and it's okay like you can still you can still run with it and I'm telling you your naivety will actually serve you during this time and so it served me greatly I was like I love that we're gonna we're gonna keep going And so once we had the two million, we were simultaneously trying to set up our supply chain, which means, you know, during the pandemic, a lot of these supply chains like totally shut down.

19:27These warehouses shut down, these co-packers shut down. And so we're calling all these places that are still kind of running on a very short staff. And prices are, I'm watching my spreadsheet of all of my prices and margins. Yes. Prices are going up. minimum order quantities are going from things like 10 ,000 lids for a can for a minimum order to 1 million. So you can imagine every startup is literally getting knocked out of the game. And so I am in it. Like we've spent some serious money on getting going and getting team to go and try to work this out. And so what would have been, you know, maybe two months time to get your supply chain set up had started rolling into like seven or eight months.

20:09And there were a lot of mistakes that I also made during this time. I had hired some people to help me set up my supply chain and I didn't keep my eye on the target for them because I just trusted or I didn't stay in that conversation like I should have. I just trusted that what they were saying was what they were doing and it wasn't necessarily what was going on. And so these are really hard lessons that you learn afterward. But I'm now a year in. Technically, I think we are at about 2021 at this point when I'm starting to realize like this is going to be insanely hard. We have been a year without even being able to set up our supply chain.

20:44And on the back end, we're doing all the things that actually take a really long time of like setting up social media, setting up shoots, getting the formulation done, dialing in like your label and your nutrition and getting licensing, which is crazy. So you're working at full capacity, expecting that the people who you brought in as the professionals to set up the supply chain are working as hard and on track with what they say they're doing. So there's like half of the equation that's working and half of it that's not. Except while we're working really hard and we're ready, we're realizing this whole piece isn't ready.

21:12And I've already hired teams. I've brought people on. So I had to let go of multiple teams because we kept on getting like that. We think we've got it. And then something happening where either that warehouse is no longer taking people or they're shutting down. I mean, it was one thing after another that I just, I am that person who will just keep pushing. Now, here's the problem. I am that person that will just keep pushing. And there are times where I think it's called the cost some fallacy, where it is like you keep pushing because of the amount of time and money that you've put in, not realizing that if you continue down this road, it's a sinking ship no matter what.

21:55So you should take the rest of that money. I have been there. I have been there. I have been there. So good to know. So good to know. It's like we look at each other like, is this a martini in front of us or is this water? Because if it's water, let's not change it. Okay. Okay. And so at that point, a couple things were starting to come to a head. You had mentioned Candemic. Like it was really hard to get cans because these bigger companies, you know, you think of all the companies who are using like the White Claws, the Coors, but using these slim cans that we needed, they buy them all at once because they're afraid that they're going to run out of cans.

22:29So they're literally buying everything. So we were not like getting any of our check marks done that we needed to get done. And so all of a sudden, when things kind of start rolling again, and we re-put everything into our like margin sheet to check everything out, we're like, okay, so let's see what kind of business we have. We will be operating in the red until who knows how long, until we raise more money, continue to operate in the red, hopefully get bought, which is, you know, we hope that that happens, but it's very rare that that does happen. And at this time, I got delivered this human being from another friend.

23:09And it was just like, she literally reached out and said, hey, I want to connect with Lori. Can you connect us? I was like, this is so cool. I can't believe this woman who is an alcohol expert doesn't mean that she's great at drinking. She is great at she's the person that celebrities call in to do their alcohol product. And so I connect with her. We end up becoming pretty close friends really quickly. She comes to our lake house for a trip and we end up just like, you know, you get real and raw when you drop in for a weekend. That's how we really got to like go deep as we spent a weekend together.