In short
The Jasmine Star Show: Episode Summary
Episode Title
How to Create More Meaningful Relationships in Business
Episode Description In this episode of The Jasmine Star Show, host Jasmine Star delves into the critical importance of building meaningful relationships in business. She provides actionable strategies to foster connections that can enhance trust, credibility, and collaboration, leading to increased referrals and customer loyalty.
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Key Themes and Concepts
- Importance of Relationship Building
- People over Products: Jasmine emphasizes that people buy from other people, not just products or companies. Building relationships is essential for long-term business success.
- Trust and Credibility: Meaningful relationships build trust, which is crucial for gaining referrals and sustaining business growth.
- Four Building Blocks of Relationships
Jasmine outlines four foundational strategies for creating and maintaining meaningful business relationships:
A. Intentional Listening
- Active Engagement: Listening with the intention to understand rather than just to respond.
- Community Interaction: Use social media tools (e.g., polls, question boxes) to genuinely engage with audience feedback.
- Team Dynamics: Create a safe space for team discussions to promote open communication.
B. Being a Connector
- Resource Sharing: Offer valuable resources (podcasts, articles) that help community members with their challenges.
- Facilitating Connections: Introduce individuals in your network to one another, fostering collaboration and mutual support.
- Law of Reciprocity: Building trust through connection often leads to reciprocal actions from those you help.
C. Leading by Example
- Consistency: Maintain consistent messaging and behavior to build trust within your community.
- Core Values: Demonstrate your business's core values through your actions.
- Resilience and Adaptability: Share experiences of overcoming challenges to inspire others.
D. Showing Gratitude
- Acknowledgment: Express appreciation to community members, team members, and customers for their support.
- Personal Touch: Send personalized messages or gifts to make individuals feel valued.
- Emotional Connections: Strengthen bonds and increase lifetime value by recognizing and celebrating successes publicly.
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Key Takeaways
- Building Relationships Takes Time: Jasmine acknowledges that nurturing relationships is a gradual process but emphasizes that it can be enjoyable.
- Intentional Listening Leads to Real Connections: By listening actively and engaging meaningfully, businesses can foster deeper relationships with their audience, team, and clients.
- Being a Connector Enhances Trust: Offering connections and resources builds goodwill and strengthens relationships within the business ecosystem.
- Lead by Example: Demonstrating your values and consistency encourages others to do the same, enhancing team cohesiveness and community trust.
- Gratitude is Essential: Regularly expressing gratitude not only fosters emotional connections but also motivates continued engagement and loyalty from clients and team members.
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Conclusion In this episode, Jasmine Star highlights that meaningful relationships are the foundation of a successful business. By following her four building blocks—intentional listening, being a connector, leading by example, and showing gratitude—entrepreneurs can cultivate strong connections that drive business growth and create a fulfilling entrepreneurial journey.
For more insights and complete show notes, visit [The Jasmine Star Show](http://jasminestar.com/podcast/episode361).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:0010 years ago, I made the decision to build my personal brand that was elevated, yet approachable, and reflected who I was, not just what I did. I created my website with ShowIt because it's true drag-and-drop freedom, so you can easily build and update your site. Plus, their real human support team, game changer. Want to try it for yourself? Head to jasminestar.com forward slash showit for a 14-day free trial and first month free when you subscribe.
0:37Welcome back to the Jasmine Star Show. I have to start this particular episode by telling you that I've been thinking about a phrase I heard a lot of the time when I started my business. And it goes something like, people buy from people, not products or companies. And this is very similar to what Simon Sinek says. People don't buy what you sell. They buy why you sell it. And then if we add another layer to it, you know, we've come to realize that on social media that people follow other people or people join other people. They don't join products or companies. We buy, follow, join people. But I think what often gets left out is how?
1:23How do we become a person that people actually want to follow or join or buy from? And I truly believe that the answer to this question is relationship building. And here's the not so glamorous news. Building relationships take time, but I think we can make it a really enjoyable experience. So today I am sharing with you four building blocks to creating more meaningful relationships as an entrepreneur. Now, remember, I know that you have relationships with your very close friends or families or communities that you're building into. All of that is great. But if we want to build strategic relationships for a business, we need to ask ourselves, how might we find joy?
2:04How might we be ourselves? And how might we grow in the process? So I'm going to break down four building blocks. Now, each of these building blocks, each have three points beneath them, right? So I want you, as you're listening, to actually digest all of this. The big picture, there are four points and beneath each four points, you're going to have three sub points. Now, the three sub points are going to be building relationships with your community. Now, this includes anyone who's in your network or your audience, and maybe they're on your newsletter list. Maybe they come to free events or they seek free resources, but they haven't quite bought from you yet.
2:40They can also just be supporters and people who like you as a person, but maybe aren't a qualified lead. Now, the second sub point to each of our four building blocks is going to be with your team. This includes full-time employees, contractors, collaborators, or people who work with you from time to time. And then the third sub point that we're going to see under each building block is going to be with your customers or clients. Now, this is anybody who is spending money with you. So just to make sure you're following this particular framework, there are four building blocks and under each one, we have three relationships.
3:11All right. The first building block is intentional listening. Now I should probably insert here a little bit of a backstory. Growing up, like I've mentioned before, I was homeschooled and the only thing we were really allowed to watch, the only kind of cartoons we were allowed to watch was Sesame Street. Now you might be saying, Jasmine, Sesame Street isn't a cartoon. I know, but every so often they would have like these little tiny like breakaways that were cartoons. And there was this one particular cartoon where there's this gentleman who's sitting on a park bench and an elephant runs up to him and he says, oh, kind sir, how do I get to the zoo?
3:44And the gentleman puts down his newspaper and says, well, what you're going to want to do is you're going to want to walk all the way down the block. And then the elephant goes all the way down the block and the elephant reappears. He's like, oh, kind sir, the zoo wasn't at the end of the block. And then the gentleman says, I know, but you need to let me finish. So you're going to go down the block and then you're going to make a left. And then the elephant disappears. And then a little bit later he returns and is getting visibly frustrated. And the elephant says, well, I went down the block and then I turned left.
4:12And the man says, well, you have to finish the whole directions of what I am saying. And I kind of feel, and it was much cuter the way that I'm telling this story. It's like, womp, womp, whoa, Jasmine, tell better stories. The whole idea here is when it comes to intentional listening, I was that elephant, y 'all. Like I would listen to partial details and then come up with a full thing because I like to think fast and talk fast. And so oftentimes I was like rushing people to the next thing. What I have really learned about relationship building specifically is that intentional listening is consciously setting an intention to understand and gain insight from the person who's speaking.
4:51Okay. So how do we do this simply? It's listening with purpose, not just listening to respond. I was the kind of person who was thinking of my response and not listening with purpose. So let's talk about how we do this intentional listening with your community. On social media, this can look like us using polls or question box. Now, not just for engagement, but actually to start conversations and to listen to audiences' feedback by creating more of the content they want to see. Not listening to respond, but listening to learn. Now, in the conversations that you're starting, you're going to want to show a genuine interest in them.
5:29And here's the best part. If you can ask an open-ended question, not like just, thanks so much, but thanks so much. What was your favorite part? Like that, which elicits a response, man, that really just drives engagement, but it also shows that you care. And it shows that there's a lot of concern about them and what they want to know more, get to know you better. And there was something that Theodore Roosevelt said, and I think it's so true. And he said that people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. Like that's just it. And even if you feel like, oh, I don't know enough, well, can you show that you care enough?
6:07So when you're engaging on social media, this can also look like leaving genuine comments, right? Like you can go, even if you're not getting any comments, you can go and click on your followers and then randomly like the lottery, pick three, four people, go to their accounts and leave a comment. So what are genuine comments? Well, genuine comments are thoughtful and specific to the content they're sharing. Okay. I'm not talking about three flame emojis, right? Like fire, fire, fire. That's fine. Hey, your girl, I've been known to do that too, but not with a new follower, not with somebody I'm choosing at random just to go and drop a little bit of care and concern.
6:43Now I remember there, my very first Easter as a mom, and I wanted to buy Luna, my daughter, a special outfit. And I follow this company online. No, it's not an ad. It's not a plug. It's called Signet and they do custom embroidering. And I had been following them forever. I was like, oh, when there's a moment, I'm going to get her a custom outfit, custom embroidery. It's just, I'm going to be ready for it. It was like a moment for me. And I bought that outfit. She wore it to church, wore it to her grandparents' house. I took a couple of photos and then I tagged Signet on social. And there's one thing for a company to like it.
7:25And then there's another thing for a company to repost it. And they did both of those things. But here's where I feel that business owner went the extra mile. That team reached out to me personally, and they asked for feedback on what they could do for their future product lines. They weren't asking me business questions. They're like, is there anything else that you would like to see in the future? And I thought to myself, this is interesting. This is how they are truly building relationships online, intentionally listening. Now, when it comes to intentionally listening with your team, Ooh, I've had to learn this the hard way.
8:01Okay. So intentionally listening with your team starts with creating a safe space. When you foster an environment where people feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and ideas and their concerns, they have to be able to do that like openly. They are more likely to take ownership of their departments and roles. And there was a time on the team where the people who spoke the loudest or the fastest or the quickest got most of the meeting time. And I had to take a big step back and really make the safe intentionally space for people who were quieter, a little bit slower, a lot more thoughtful.
8:36They saw things from different perspectives and they needed to make sure that I was cultivating that space. Now you can also set the tone to encourage honest and open communication without judgment or interruption. When you do this specifically as a leader, other people in the team, they're going to mimic this when they have their own conversations. So whenever I go into a conversation and I feel like people are going to have different opinions, I need to make sure that this is the space where we talk openly. This is not in disagreement with a person. It's probably a different perspective on how to see the same situation.
9:11And the reason why I'm really, really hard knows about it is because problems are most likely going to be solved when people feel inspired to speak up, when they feel safe to ask questions. So there's a little bit of a story. I have shared this on the podcast before. So we were talking about delaying the upgraded platform launch. It was earlier this year. And when we went into this meeting, we all had varying degrees of opinions, but I needed to know that by the time we all left that meeting, everybody said what they meant and meant what they said. But that meant I had to start the meeting on that note.
9:53I literally had to say, we all want to win, but we need to see the entire picture. Now we are doing nobody any favors if we're holding back and not speaking our truth. But in order for us to speak our truth, we must speak our truth without attachment. Just because I see something from my perspective doesn't make it the right perspective. It's just my perspective. And in this meeting, there were five people all with our own perspectives. And it was only when we openly, safely, and conducively shared them that we were able to make a decision. And here's the best part. At the end of the meeting, everybody was on the same page and everybody felt like even if it didn't go exactly how they wanted, they understood why.
10:34Now, something we do during team meetings, we have a monthly all-hands meeting and we share a doc. It's in Notion. And what we ask people to do is please write the meeting notes and action items in advance. So before meeting, I can pop into the doc and I could see what each person is planning to talk about. Now we have two sections. We have just updates. This is where projects are going, things that they want everybody else to know, and then active items that we are going to speak about. Now, this improves our meeting productivity, but it really ensures that everybody has a time slot and a chance to be heard.
11:07Now, everyone has access to this document before the meetings, and then they get to share anything that they need to share. But we also put action items on there to ensure that the action is taken after the meeting. Because when we act on suggestions or concerns raised during those conversations, we demonstrate that we value the input. So we have action items. So the following week, when we go back to the meeting, we can always cite back to the previous week's notes and say, what was the action that was taken? And in our team, action, it's a love language. Like if we ask something to be done and it is done, we're walking integrity.
11:47Integrity meaning I do what I say and I say what I do. Okay. So we're still in building block number four, and we're talking about intentionally listening when it comes to your customers and clients. Now, specifically intentional listening in meetings and whether it's like virtual, in-person, group, or one-on-one, you know, this can also apply to team meetings too. But our main component of intentional listening is active listening. So active listening is paying attention to the both like verbal and nonverbal cues. You can actively listen by maintaining eye contact, nodding to show that you're understanding and using appropriate facial expressions and body language to convey that you're still engaged.
12:32Now I say that a little bit tongue in cheek, but I'm going to be honest with you. RBF, like resting blessed face, you know, let's like this is a family friendly show. There's another word like, listen, my face is just my face. People are like, why, why does your face look like that? I'm like, I don't know. It's just my face. When I am intently listening, my face looks like I'm mean. My face looks like we're about to scrap. Like we were about to throw it down in a dark alley behind a bar at 2 a.m. in the morning. Like you don't want to mess with me, but I promise you like it's just my face. But what I realized was that my facial expressions in my body language were conveying a very different message.
13:12I have become so aware. There was a couple of times that team members would take screenshots of us on Zoom and then drop them in Slack. And it's funny to see the way that other people see you, but then it was also a major learning lesson. I was like, you can't sit like that. So what am I talking about? Okay. So I have this chair. I kind of just sat back in the chair with my back resting against it. I have my hands clasped on top of my head and with my chin tilted up a little bit. Okay. That is legit. My maiden name is Wattis. that is the exact position my father takes when he is thinking, I am talking about to the T and I do the same thing when I'm in deep, it's like, I'm like in repose.
13:53Like when I'm in deep thought, it's hands on top of my head, they're clasped, I'm leaning back, which is fine. But if I am doing that a lot on team meetings, it could appear like I'm bored or disengaged. Ooh, facts. So now I am always, and sometimes JD will, like we are sitting on zoom meetings, he'll mute the zoom meeting and he'll just say, smile. Cause I just realized I don't even do it. So this is me becoming aware of it. And so much so that I become aware of it and really show intentional listening on team meetings. I am now sending notes to our leadership team during our quarterly feedback around body language, posture, even if it's something as simple as smiling or a yawn, I know a yawn, like, listen, we all yawn.
14:38It's human. However, a subtle yawn or even going off camera, because listen, we're all tired. Everybody needs a little extra hobby, but the yawn could be perceived as somebody's disengaged. Okay. So another thing, it's important not to multitask. This right here is a pet peeve of mine. When I'm on a Zoom call, if I see that other people are doing other things, everybody knows I'm doing like, who are we kidding? Everybody's eyes, when they move around the screen. You know what I'm talking about. It's like you pretend like to be paying attention, but you can see that they're doing something else.
15:09Oh, just as a general rule of thumb, when I am showing up, like when I'm hosting my mastermind calls or if I'm on group coaching on the inside of social curator, like everything is off. My phone is on do not disturb. I need to give my full attention because people genuinely feel that across the internet, across online, and especially in person. Now, I think it's really important when it comes to intentional listening is that not all the feedback that people give you is going to be good. Not every feedback from friends, clients, teammates is going to feel all that great. But even if you agree or disagree, it's important that we validate that person's feelings.
15:50So let's talk about this from like a customer client perspective. Even if I disagree, like even if factually, so there's been plenty of times where people say, I just can't get into social curator. It's so difficult to log in. And we actually have like data and analytics when people log in. People will say, I haven't logged in in the last month. And we're like, oh, we actually have four logins slated in the last three weeks. No, that must be wrong. So I'm not going to dispute the fact that our backend monitors when people log in. So what we must do is validate a customer's feelings, concerns, or challenges.
16:26Because if I dispute, let's just say, for example, how many logins there were, I've completely lost them. What I need to do is get into the underlying and not just me as the leader, but like me and the entire team, all of us need to say, what's the underlying issue here? What is the core thing of frustration? Cause then I go from, I need to respond to, I actually just need to actively listen and get to the root of it. So we do this often. I would set these sprints of meetings, talking to users of social curator. Now, when they give me their time, here's the thing. These are paying customers, right?
17:02And then they are deciding to meet with me for 20 minutes so I could ask them questions around how we can make Social Curator better. What are they using the most? What are they using the least? I'm asking them to share functionality of their screen so I could see how are they navigating and what is the easiest part of the site? What's the most difficult part of the site? What do they wish we had? So I'm asking all of these questions. Now I'm asking and during these calls, every time I remind myself, do not respond, engage. If I respond, it shows that I'm actually not listening. I need to say, I hear exactly what it is you're saying.
17:37And then I let them know that if they see my eyes moving around, or if they see me typing, that I'm conveying to them, I am taking notes. If my eyes are moving, I'm looking at different parts of the screen. Now, what I am trying to do most often is not respond, but to ask questions with their questions so I actually hear them and then I convey active listening. So let's move on to the next building block. That was just building block number one. Y 'all, are you with me? I mean, we're going to be diving deep. I know, I know. I hope that this episode really digs deep and you walk away with tangible things.
18:14Building block number two is being a connector. Now here is a little disclaimer. Being a true connector sometimes means that you're not the answer to their problems. Ooh. Okay. Like being a true connector, you're not always the answer. Now, an example of this would be if someone came to me for advice on building wealth and investments. Okay. Well, that isn't exactly what I teach, but I have plenty of people who I could connect them to for guidance. Okay. We don't always have to be the answer. In fact, we build trust with people when we are confident enough to send them to someone or something else that could serve them the best.
18:55So let's talk about being a connector with your community members. Being a connector with your community members can look like sending free resources, right? Like podcasts, articles, YouTube videos to help them with their specific needs and challenges. Now this resource you can send them. It could be your own stuff or it could be someone else's. Remember what we're doing is building connection, not building business relationships that will happen. But first connection. Now you can also create a piece of content that was made for their specific questions or challenges, and then let them know that they inspired you to create that resource.
19:32I've done that plenty of times. Y 'all, I can't even tell you how many times people will send me a DM and be like, have you done a podcast episode on this? And I'm like, no, but I love this idea. Yeah. Like watch in the next few weeks. This is going to be like in the queue. And so this is like a great way to revisit a conversation, right? Imagine that person tells me, have you done about X on the podcast? I'm like, I love this idea. And then I could follow up with them. Like it's pretty dang amazing because when you follow up with these leads, like you're serving them and you're not saying like, Oh, did you download it yet?
20:04Did you do this? Did you buy my thing? No, no, no. It's simply, I loved your idea. I made you a piece of content on the back of it. Thank Thank you. Now, being a connector with your community members can also look like connecting them with another person. Now, this can be a person who needs what they're selling or offering. You can easily do this with like a three-way message. You know, it's just like on the inside of the social curator community, we are often connecting other community members to go deeper, maybe not to buy or invest, but to get them connected so they could start learning and scaling their businesses together.
20:39So an example might be like, Hey Tina, I wanted to introduce you to Sarah. Sarah is a new mom who's ready to safely get back into exercise and is looking for a professional support while she's doing it. I told Sarah that you're a health coach for new moms and have great content she can learn from. I wanted to give you two a chance to connect. Feel free to start your own chat without me. I hope you're both doing amazing. Now, how do you think Tina, the health coach, would feel knowing that you are supporting and referring her and her business to other people. Honored? Grateful? Now, Tina could also feel the need to reciprocate.
21:15Now, this isn't always why we connect, right? Like, I never, ever make an introduction with the hope that it comes back to me. I never do. But if it does, that's nice. Not needed, but nice. Now, the law of reciprocity is when somebody feels compelled to repay for the gifts or actions they received. That's the law of reciprocity. They feel compelled. It suggests that when somebody does something beneficial for another person, the recipient wants to reciprocate and repay the kindness. They want to. They want to create a mutual exchange of giving and receiving. Man, we see this happen so often in the social curator community.
21:54Rosie is our head of customer success and she's so great at connecting a lot of our users to each other. and Katie is president of Social Curator and she does this flawlessly. We have Amanda and Rolene in the community and they're always looking at parallels and intersection points. But if we go back, right? So there's Tina, the health coach. And then how do you think Sarah, right? She's like a new mom. How do you think she would know feeling that you're taking the time to connect with her to like a perfect person to support her journey? Maybe she would feel special or significant or cared for.
22:27Now, Sarah would see you as somebody who truly cares for her, which builds long-term trust and could lead to new relationships. The New York Times posted an article and they shared that the average person knows around 600 people in real life. Like that was a big, I'm going to just be real. I read that number. I was like 600. Do I know 600 people in real life? But on average, if I were to look back at my life, I might say, yeah, 600. Now, Sarah might not be your ideal client and she might not be a qualified lead, but I guarantee that she knows somebody who is. Let's say Sarah might not need your business, but she knows maybe 600 people in real life who could potentially be somebody who would help and empower your business.
23:16Now, again, the law of reciprocity, we don't make connections with people in the community with the expectation that it comes back to us, but there is a law that states, we as humans, we want to treat others the way we have been treated. So why not just give, give, give, give, knowing it's all going to come back to you in some way, shape, or form. Now let's talk about being a connector with your team or people that you collaborate with. So first and foremost, being a connector by connecting them with each other. So this looks like creating a culture that encourages collaboration, open communication, and knowledge sharing amongst team members.
23:56Now I could sit here and say, Oh, I've done a great job at it. No, not at all. In fact, I am learning more from my team on how to do this. So a little bit of a backstory. I am not a technical founder. I don't know development. I've never created an app before. I've never built a SaaS company. And so there's this whole new part of me that I'm learning how to flex as a CEO. Now we have a team member. He is a brilliant mind developer and kind of like the brains behind us creating Dottie for Social Curator. And as he's developing, and as I'm having conversations with users of Social Curator and team members in customer success and team members in community and team members in marketing, he had said that what he wants to do is create 10-minute meetings each week with people in each of these departments.
24:44He wants to knowledge share. He just doesn't want to build a product that's going to serve a customer. He is trying to get a holistic perspective of how can we set up what we know about each of our users, what they want, and how can we create synergies amongst the things that we have, the things that we don't have, and the things that people want. And so when we're creating this culture of collaboration and open communication and knowledge sharing, I saw it so played out so clearly that in these short, really focused meetings, he's hearing from different team members, consolidating them on a roadmap, on a feature request board, and we get to log in and we get to see what is he working on and when should it be deployed.
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25:24That kind of stuff works really well when you are connecting. Now, I've always found it pretty helpful to share external resources with my team, or sometimes I'll send them inspiring people or a podcast, and I really want them to go deep in a way that I have gone deep. Now, do I send every team member the same book or the same podcast? No, but when I think about how that resource could really help them step up, step into their role, I send it to them and I'm like, hey, you should really listen to this. But if you're oppressed, listen to minute 15 to 22 or something. I'm giving them very specific things to listen to.
26:00And when it comes to connecting outside of a book or podcast or outside of short sprints of meetings or even outside of quarterly reviews, I think it's important just to connect as a human. And so I have a recurring task to set up meetings with team members, even if they're not my direct reports. I actually want to get to know people on the team. And yes, I want to know who they are as team members, but I want to know the name of their spouses, their kids, their pets. All of this can go a really long way in developing a good working relationship. And I want them to know that even though I'm the CEO, I'm absolutely a team member.
26:36We're all aiming towards the same goal. One of the ways that we make this happen is when somebody is hired onto the social curator team, we send them through onboarding and an information spreadsheet. So they'll answer questions about who they are, where they like to spend their weekends, their spouse's names, their favorite places to eat, or they like to shop. It's just like a list of random questions. And most of the time people will go through onboarding and then they forget about the questions. They get into the work. And then whenever I'm thinking, oh, I really want to do something special, then I can go back to that onboarding sheet.
27:06So case in point, we had just come off a launch and Rosie, she leads our customer success. Now she had been working tirelessly, hours and hours and hours, making through her way hundreds of tickets and questions and requests. And she was even working over the weekend and her husband, Justin, he's really sweet guy and was just there to totally support her. So I wanted to send her just a small thank you gift for all of her hard work. And so what was I able to do? I went over to the spreadsheet and I found out that Justin's favorite place to eat. And I was like, Hey, Rosie, you want to take Justin out for a night in the town, where are you taking him?
27:38Ladies and gentlemen, Bubba Gump. Taking him to Bubba Gump. And you know, nothing made me happier than for her to be his sugar mama for the night. There you go. There you go. It's the small things that really kind of create those personal relationships as we build those connections. Now, when you talk about being a connector with your customers and clients, connecting customers and clients with each other, man, I've done this by hosting an like in-person event or even a virtual event. Now, if you're a service-based entrepreneur, this could look like hosting a holiday party. It could look like hosting workshops or training sessions or group coaching or coworking sessions.
28:17I have either hosted these or gone to these. And I think it's so powerful, not just as a way to connect, but as a way to network as well. Now, let's say you're a product-based entrepreneur. You could host holiday parties, markets or trade shows, customer appreciation events, or even develop an affiliate or awards or, you know, one of those like ambassador programs. And then you could create a community for them and then they can collaborate in that community. You really want the people who are very outspoken about your products to be able to connect with each other. So they're finding ways that are the most effective to spread the word.
28:49Now, outside of hosting events, you could bring in like guest coaches or speakers to teach a topic that you might not be an expert in. Now, you could also collaborate with another entrepreneur to create a joint offer or experience or a product. Basically, your customers and your clients can connect with this new expert, and then you're going to always be remembered by both parties as the person who connected them. Now, we do this often on the inside of Social Curator. We bring in guest instructors, guest contributors, masterclass hosts. It's not just the Jasmine Show. This is about other people having far greater specialties and pouring back into the community.
29:27Now, let's just create this as an example in a slightly different way. Here's an example. You're a health coach and you specialize in exercise and fitness. Now, your clients have expressed they wanted to learn more about improving their quality sleep. Oh, cool. You could partner with a sleep expert and maybe you could hire or maybe you could trade with them to come in for guest coaching, Q &A, or you could create a joint offer together. Now, this could be mutually beneficial since you most likely have like similar ideal clients and complimentary programs. So what does this make your clients feel?
29:58Well, it makes them feel seen, heard, and cared for. And you're fulfilling on other needs, but you're being the conduit of it. Okay. Now we just went through two building blocks, each with three sub points. Now we're on the third building block, and this will also have three sub points. Now the third building block to creating more meaningful relationships is leading by example. When you lead by example, it builds trust and trust is the fundamental component to a great relationship. Now leading by example with your community, it can be shown by staying consistent. Now I know why I often say like stay consistent, stay consistent.
30:38And I remain very staunch in my belief that yeah, posting daily is important, but this is also how you show up and the message you're sharing, which takes frequency, and repetition. Now, consistency is being a leader within your community because it's very hard for you to say something and then do something else. We need to lead by example. Now, another way to lead by example is demonstrating your core values. One of our core values at Social Curator is kindness. Now, wouldn't it be awful if I was saying like unkind words to somebody in my community. Now, I know this is like very obvious, but it's common.
31:18I've been there too. It's easy to fall into a trap and that you let your emotions get the best. But when you're tethered by your values, that means that you're leading by example. This is why we set our core values in the first place. It's for when times are tough that we remember what do we stand for as a company. Now, you can also learn by example with your community by continuing to learn and invest in yourself, especially if you're in like the coaching or the course creation space, like y 'all, this is so important. Like, I think it's very important for me as CEO to really talk openly about the masterminds that I am investing in, the masterminds I'm a part of, the coaching I invest in, the programs I invest in.
32:00I have to continuously show that I am making investments in myself and in the company to show other business owners that this is part of the course. This is always what we do. When you join personal or professional development programs, when you attend workshops or you're seeking mentorship, you're not just leading by example, but you're encouraging others to invest in their own growth and then embrace a growth mindset. Now, do I think that everybody needs to do this? No, but if you want to be surrounded by people who really are like-minded, then you must show what you want to attract. If you're a product-based business owner, you could do this by using your own products on camera, You know, if you sell skincare, do like your nightly skin routine.
32:40You could share how and why you use these products and how you're continuing to learn and improve the products. Now, the last way I have for you to lead by example in your community is by demonstrating resilience and adaptability. I think it's important that, especially on social media, we're showing up in the truest versions of ourselves. Now, I don't think you should share 100 % of what goes behind the scenes, but I do think it's important to share the peaks and the valleys. it humanizes us. It lets people know that everything on social media isn't glimmer and isn't glitter and private jets and good days and walks on the beach.
33:16It's a lot of hard work. When you share stories of overcoming obstacles or what you learn from failures or pivoting your business strategy, you can inspire others to embrace change, learn from failures, and persevere in pursuing their goals too. Now, I don't want you to underestimate that when you give people hope or when you teach them a mindset shift that you experienced, they think more fondly of you and your business as a result. This simply is a byproduct of leading by example. Now, leading by example with your team, it could just, these are pretty simple, but I do think it bears repeating.
33:53Acting with honesty and transparency as a team leader, like that's important because it trickles down to every aspect of the team. It also means setting clear expectations while holding yourself to the same standard of the team. Like when you think about me asking the team to follow through and complete tasks when they're assigned on a particular timeline, wouldn't it be awful if I was consistently late, if I wasn't consistently following through? It would be hard for somebody to take what I said and hold themselves to the same standard. Brene Brown says, to be clear is to be kind. And that is what we truly believe at Social Curator.
34:33We don't mince words. We say what we mean and we mean what we say. Like your team wants to perform at a high level. I believe that really good teams want to be challenged and they want to constantly improve their work. As leaders, it's our responsibility to continuously improve by showing them our willingness to learn and adapt and embrace new challenges. is. I invested in a mentor and I was working with her once a month and I loved what I was learning and I kept on feeling I was taking these like intellectual, emotional business leaps, but I was doing it on my own. And so then I tried trickling it down to the team and it was good.
35:17But then I decided I actually wanted to go deeper with this coach. So I wanted to start meeting with her once every two weeks, so twice a month. And I kept on developing and growing at such a fast pace that I wasn't all that great at disseminating the growth that I was experiencing with her. So what I decided to do was I meet with her once a month on my own, and then I bring two key team members to come in and sit in on the coaching as we grow different arms of the business. When I say I want to lead by example, if I am not the greatest at disseminating information in the quickest amount of time, the things that I'm learning, bringing them in and showing them, giving a front row seat to what I'm investing on on a personal and professional level, well, then it expands to the team.
36:00As leaders, we want to continuously show what? Our willingness to learn, our willingness to admit we don't have all the answers, our willingness to get help and adapt and embrace new challenges. Now, leading by example with your customers and clients, this can be demonstrated by being consistent in your actions and following through on your commitments. If you promise certain benefits or features or to support them, then you got to ensure that you deliver on those promises. Because even the smallest undelivered promise can damage a relationship with your customers and clients. And I want to speak clearly here.
36:33I don't want to be duplicitous. There have been plenty of times in Social Curator where we said, oh, well, we're going to have a fix for this bug by this date. Now, truth be told, we do have the fix and the fix will address 99 % of the people that were affected by that bug. But what happens to the one person who continuously has that issue? They lose their trust in what we had said as a team. Now there's two ways that we can go about this. We could say, hey, we solved the problem for 99 % of the people. So, you know, you win some, you lose some. Or you can say that 1 % of people that it affected, we have to do right by them.
37:12If we don't do right by them, if we don't at least attempt to do right by them, it's going to really hurt and impact the business. So another example that's not related to the business. Let's say you're a health coach and you promise constant accountability and access, you know, and her clients, she gets back to their messages within 24 hours. And I went from you to her, right? We're not talking about you. We'll go with her. We'll say that she's Helen, the health coach. Okay. So Helen, the health coach, well, she returns messages within 24 business hours and her clients message her with a question on Thursday morning, but she doesn't get back to them until Monday.
37:48Now, I'm sure Helen has a lot of great reasons why she didn't respond, but the expectation was 24 business hours. So 48 business hours have passed and the client has not received further communication or answers. Sure, the unanswered question to the client is a problem, but what's the even bigger problem is the undelivered promise. The undelivered promise breaks the trust in the confidence in the coach they hired. Now, it seems small, but these tiny little things are fractures at trust. And without all of that undiluted trust, it becomes harder to actually grow. It becomes harder for them to become evangelist.
38:29It becomes harder for them to really trust that you're going to follow through on any other of your subsequent promises. This could lead to customer dissatisfaction, frustration, a negative perception of Helen's reliability. You know, like it's not about the answer. It's not about the 24 hours or the 48 hours. It was about the promise. Now this break in trust could be avoided by answering the question or simply replying to the message, even to say, Hey, I have to take a day or two off for X, Y, or Z. Is it okay if I get back to you on Monday? Simple. But that then changes the terms of how somebody's perceiving their trust.
39:06All right. Drum roll. If you are still with me, like shout it out, y 'all. We are on the fourth building block. Now this episode has really been made from a place of love. And I want to go deeper by providing amazing and powerful insights for what you're doing as you build your business. So the fourth building block is showing gratitude and continuing to nurture the relationship. Now y 'all know I am just a gratitude gangster. Like I stopped my day with gratitude. I end my day with gratitude. Like I'm just grateful. I'm grateful for the breath I have. I'm grateful for the food I have in my fridge.
39:41I'm grateful for my car. I'm grateful that I get to call my mom, my dad. I'm grateful for the slobbery kisses that I get from my daughter. I'm grateful for my pillow. Now here's the thing. Some people would look at my pillow and they would be like, girl, what is wrong with you? That's not a pillow. That's like a bath towel. Okay. My pillow, I know. Somebody's going to DM me and say, that is so terrible. It's so unhygienic. You need to change your pillow every four months. Okay. I know. I have literally had this pillow probably since like the second Bush administration. It's so old. Y 'all, it's not even a pillow.
40:13It's like flat. And I love it. I don't like fluffy pillows. I know I'm like probably the only person, but a fluffy pillow, it bothers my neck. If I could lay almost flat without a pillow, but see that, that like second Bush administration pillow, that is about two inches thick or is it two inches thin. I don't know. But ooh, wee, this pillow, it doesn't change my life. So how did we get here? How do we get talking about pillows? I promise you, I'm going to bring it back. Gratitude. Gratitude. I told y 'all I was going to bring it back. I'm a gratitude gangster. I will give thanks for my two inch pillow.
40:46I will give thanks. I have this electric toothbrush, y 'all. Like I brush my teeth and I just feel blessed. I was just like, totter no more. Listen, gratitude is my thing. And I also know that it has had a profound effect on how I am building a business and how I've built multiple businesses. So let's start about talking about gratitude with your community. It's really important to show gratitude in your community, specifically to members. And if you can do this on a one-to-one, then you're killing the game. Now, there's a lot of others, other people doing similar things, other communities, you You know, your people in your community, they're choosing to engage with your content.
41:27They're supporting your efforts. They're potentially becoming raving fans who refer other people to you. So when you express gratitude, you're encouraging continued engagement and loyalty. So how? How do you show people gratitude? You could share their content when they tag or support you. Or if it's something that your audience would find valuable, share it. Be reciprocal whenever you can. Highlight people in the community. You could send personalized thank you messages, expressing gratitude for their support and encouragement. It's important to really acknowledge their specific actions or their specific participation that has made a positive impact in the community.
42:05When you do this, they're more likely to keep it up. A couple of weeks ago, I was having a conversation with Katie and she's the president of Social Curator and I was in the community and I was really engaging and I thought to myself, there are some really powerful, deep, amazing conversations that are happening here. I mean, really business stuff. I was like, this is some next level stuff. And I said, Katie, there is a few conversations that we should be sending in our weekly email. We should be pointing people because there's a lot of conversations that it could get lost. And I'm like, we should highlight two or three really amazing posts in the community by us highlighting that particular post by that particular community member.
42:41And then we get to email it to all of our users and highlight them for the powerful comeback they're making, that's expressing gratitude. But we're expressing gratitude because they're in the community creating that content that creates like a community of gratitude. So it's like gratitude on gratitude. It's like 10x gratitude. Now, this is great when we're doing it with our community, but I have to make sure that we're also doing it on our team. So you can show gratitude to your team by finding out how they like to be praised. Now, a little bit ago, I talked about this onboarding form that people will fill out with their preferences.
43:14And so they fill out a questionnaire. And one of the questions on the questionnaire is how they prefer to be praised, whether it's publicly, privately written or verbal. When we know how somebody likes to be appreciated, we try to do that often. There are some people, and I am not one of those people. If somebody says thank you to me in public, like if anybody has ever given me a toast, I want to die. If somebody stands up and they say something nice about me, I am literally getting like a cloth napkin and like waving them down. Like, no, no, no, no, no, please not here. Please, please. Nope. Nope.
43:49We're not doing this. We are not saying. And it's so odd. But when somebody writes me something, when they go out of their way to write a thank you or an accolade or a note of appreciation, it means a lot to me, but we all don't receive that the same way. There are people on the team who really love during a team meeting to say thank you in front of their peers. It means that to them. So it's really important for me as a leader to find out how people like to be appreciated or how they like to be like noted for their work and then highlight in on that. And it's really important to recognize and celebrate individual, but also team achievements.
44:26You know, oftentimes there's certain departments, we'll just be real. There's certain departments, like if you have a sales department, even marketing, it's so much glossier. It's so much sex here to be like, look at all these benchmarks and metrics, look at these numbers, look at this revenue. And then there's other quieter departments that it's harder to define the milestone. I think distinctly of a creative team. How do you put ROI on creative, right? It's difficult. Like it looks beautiful, but how do you actually quantify whether or not the typography or the layout or the vision or the copy?
44:57Like, how do you know the ROI on that? It's a little bit looser. So when you're able to create milestones, not just for a person like a creative director, but for the creative team to highlight what they did together, like that's a project success or they hit a goal, like that is going to continue collaborative efforts. It's going to say it's not just about one person, it's about the entire team. And then the rest of the organization gets to see that. All right. My favorite part, my favorite part, finally, let's show gratitude to your customers and clients. I'm going to get a little bit, I'm going to try to get a little deep.
45:30I'm bringing a little pipe here. I'm just going to be like, ladies and gentlemen, let's sit around. People aren't often appreciated enough in their everyday life. This is an unmet need that a lot of people have. Like, think about it. Think about it. You engage and you meet and you talk and you see with so many people who don't get anybody in their life to say, thank you. I appreciate you. I see you for all the hard work. They don't. And this lack of appreciation that they're facing, it makes them feel undervalued or taken for granted. That might not be the case, but how one feels is real. And you have the opportunity to tend to this need simply by showing gratitude.
46:16I read an intensive study by Motista, Motista, Motista. And I'll put it in the show notes just because I probably said it wrong, but here is the study. It reported that customers who are emotionally connected to brands have a 306 % higher lifetime value than customers that are just satisfied. Huh? Emotional connections. So follow me here for a second. Most people don't get told, thank you. I appreciate you. Or I see the hard work you're doing, But you, as a business owner, as a team lead, you can do that for somebody. And when you can do that for a client or customer, that means they're more emotionally connected.
46:57By showing gratitude, you are strengthening that connection and ultimately your LTV, the lifetime value. And because I am such a believer, an ardent supporter of showing gratitude, here are some ways that you can show gratitude to your customers or clients. You can send them a surprise gift. or you know, you could send them samples. If you're a product-based company and your customers, you're like, Hey, I want to send you a token of appreciation, send them a new line, send them samples, add a little something to their box. It could be a small branded item. It could be a useful resource. It could be a sample of a new product.
47:31Now everybody loves getting surprise packages. So I, I mean, love it or hate it. Some people are like, so against it. I shop via Amazon. Okay. I just do. I just do. I order my groceries, you know, just don't touch me. It's just, listen, I am just trying to keep my life afloat. And if I could just like repeat my order from Whole Foods, that is exactly what I do. And so just imagine my surprise and delight. I know it is absolutely ridiculous. I know the companies that are participating in this promotion are giving their products to Whole Foods and I know I'm being marketed to. And guess what? I still don't care.
48:08Every so often I'll get my groceries from Whole Foods and I open a package and there on the inside is like a small gift of appreciation, a token to say thanks. And they're just like a bunch of samples, like raisinets, like organic raisinets drizzled in gold honey or something like that. You know, it's like a bath bomb, but it's like a fraction of a bath bomb. And it's like a sample of organic care care. And you know, chances are I would have never picked that up from the store. Chances are I never will pick it up in the store, but I just love a little extra. We have that ability. And I think that Amazon Whole Foods, they did it right.
48:43Can you think in your business, are there any other tangential businesses that might want exposure to your audience? Perhaps if they do add it to some of your shipments, boom, what you're doing is you are creating cross-marketing, surprise and delight and connection to your clients or customers. Now, you can also create exclusive content for your clients or customers. We sometimes drop bonuses on the inside of Social Curator for our members as a surprise and delight. Hey, thank you. We appreciate you. Here's a little extra this month as part of your subscription. We love doing that. Now, you can also recognize your clients on social media, and you could share their success stories.
49:23You could share testimonials or positive experiences. You know, when you publicly acknowledge their support and their achievements, it can make them feel really valued and appreciated. And hey, it's also great for your business too. So here we are, ladies and gentlemen, we got through all four of these principles. Hot dang, hot dang y 'all. That was a lot, but I firmly believe that relationships are the foundation to scaling a business. So when all four of these principles are combined, like over time again and again and again, consistently again, again, and again over time. Your relationships will get deeper and more meaningful, making you someone that people want in their lives.
50:08People want to work with you. Building, nurturing, and expanding your relationships will always be the backbone of your business success. And my hope for you is that you find joy deepening these relationships along with every other part of the journey. I know your time is valuable. If you were to be so kind and leave a review or tag me at Jasmine Star on stories when you listen so that when we connect, I can personally express to you how grateful I am. I know it seems small. You're probably tired of me saying it, but if you have listened to more than one episode on this podcast, it is a free 99.
50:49Okay. We don't run any ads right now. I'm creating this as a labor of love. I'm creating this as division of my growth process and I'm sharing what I know. And so let's create a little bit of agreement. I'll share what I know. And then you share your goodness and magic, sprinkle, sprinkle, let's go, add a little review. It would mean a lot. In all seriousness, it would mean a ton. I want to say thank you for listening to this podcast. I want to say thank you to the Social Curator team. Thank you to our users. Thank you to my electric toothbrush and my two inch pillow and thank you to my husband and business partner who continues late into the evenings, early into the mornings to support this thing I am so passionate about.
51:32And I'm just simply passionate about you. I am so lit up by your success. I am so lit up by your journey. I am so lit up by you making the courageous decision to get back up again and again and again as you grow your business. I wish you all the best. Bye.
From the publisher
Wanna know how to become someone that people WANT to work with?
Build meaningful relationships.
As a business owner, building and sustaining meaningful relationships will help you build trust and credibility, which can lead to more referrals, collaborations, and customers and clients.
You might be thinking, ‘Ok, I’ve heard this before, but HOW… how do I create and build these relationships with people?’
Lean in, this episode was made for you.
I’m diving deep into four tried and true ways to build and maintain connections.
Through intentional listening, being a connector, leading by example, and showing gratitude you can make people feel significant, seen, and validated…and build the type of relationships that make others love working with you.
Click play to hear all of this and…
[00:04:27] How to intentionally listen to your audience through content and conversations.
[00:08:17] How to create a safe space for your team by encouraging open communication and honest and open dialogue.
[00:02:21] The importance of seeking feedback from customers and clients for future content and offers.
[00:09:25] The importance of openly and safely sharing perspectives in a team meeting to make informed decisions.
[00:10:22] Why my team and I share pre-meeting notes and action items in advance and how it improves productivity and ensures everyone has a chance to be heard.
[00:11:26] The importance of active listening, maintaining eye contact, nodding, and using appropriate facial expressions and body language to convey engagement.
[00:19:17] Ways you can follow up with leads by creating content based on their ideas.
[00:20:09] How connecting community members can help them learn and scale their businesses together.
[00:21:01] The Law of Reciprocity and how connecting with others can build trust and lead to new relationships.
[00:29:41] How to lead by example by demonstrating core values, investing in personal growth, and showing resilience and adaptability.
[00:36:18] The importance of following through on promises, addressing issues for all customers, and maintaining trust and reliability.
[00:38:15] The importance of answering messages promptly to maintain trust.
[00:39:11] The significance of expressing gratitude to community members through sharing their content and sending personalized thank you messages.
[00:45:59] How showing gratitude to customers and clients strengthens emotional connections and increases lifetime value.
[00:48:54] The importance of publicly acknowledging clients' support and achievements on social media to make them feel valued and appreciated (and tips on how to do it!).
For complete show notes, visit: http://jasminestar.com/podcast/episode361
Sources:
Cision PR Newswire, Motista, https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/new-retail-study-shows-marketers-under-leverage-emotional-connection-300720049.html
The New York Times, Andrew Gelman,
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