How to Not Get Business

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0:38Welcome to another episode of the Jasmine Star Show. Today, y 'all know, I love talking about the intersection of life and business. In fact, hand to heaven, true story. I was en route back from Charleston, South Carolina. I had spoken that event and JD and Luna and I had arranged for a driver to pick us up from the airport to take us to the hotel. So we get our bags in. It's early in the morning. Like the sun has not even risen yet. We're actually watching the sun rise off the Southern Carolina coast. And it was stunning. And the gentleman in the front of our car, his name was Charlie. And Charlie was quiet and JD and I were sipping our coffee and Luna was hanging out and she's relaxing.

1:18And all of a sudden I asked Charlie, so Charlie, what do you do? I know you're a driver. Do you have any other passions? And he's like, oh, well, you see, I just drive for the extra cash, but what I really am is a photographer. And I was like, Oh, bless his Southern heart. He has no idea who just hopped in his car because number one, y 'all know I love me some business, but number two, my origins. The first time I sharpened my teeth as a business owner was being a photographer. So you could just imagine this car ride that's about 15 minutes. I downloaded about a decade's worth of business mistakes and strategies and successes and how I think that he should be building his photography business because he really wanted to get into was weddings.

2:04Oh, I was like, Charlie, I'm about to talk your ear off. You're going to have more information on what to do by the time he dropped me off in the airport. He was so kind. He said, this is one thing that I know about myself. He's like, I will take action. This ride was destined for me. Y 'all, I love that. I love when people not only hear some advice, but stay dedicated to following through that advice. And I know since you're listening now, You're my people. Like, this is what we do. We do the doing, right? Let's go. Okay, so a lot of times on the podcast, what I'm talking about is how to get business.

2:41But today, and y 'all, I debated. I debated talking about this, but I'm just holding my head through this because I literally felt called. I tried. I am recording this podcast at the end of my day, and I normally don't record podcasts at the end of the day because I want my brain nice and tight. I want it firing in all cylinders. And I actually avoided making this podcast for two days. I was like, I just don't think I should be saying this because what if it comes across negative? And I was like, number one, since when have you been concerned about somebody having an opinion about what you state as truth?

3:10And so today, the truth with a capital T that I would just want to put out there is how not to get business. I'm going to repeat that again. This is how you not get business. Okay, so back in the day, starting my photography career, and I was taking any gig that I could shoot, both paid and unpaid. What I wanted to do was build a portfolio. I wanted to get a front row seat to how other businesses were growing their creative businesses. And I really wanted to connect and help with other photographers. So I had been second shooting or third shooting. This means that there's the first photographer, that's the business owner.

3:42And then they assemble a team depending on the size of the event. And so oftentimes second and third photographers would get paid, but I was doing whatever kind of gig I would be driving, you know, two, three hours. I'd shoot for 10 hours and then I drive home like another two, three hours. And I wouldn't expect a penny from it. I just wanted the experience. So there was a few people who I wanted to shoot with locally. So just imagine my surprise and delight when I get an email from a local photographer. I had been second shooting around two years at this time and I was shooting like one to two weddings a weekend, oftentimes for free.

4:16And I would just talk to my husband. I'm like, this is what I want to do with my business. And I feel like if I could build a portfolio, even if I'm not getting paid, that the portfolio will actually earn its way to income. Now that was a bet, but it was a strategic bet. And so lo and behold, I started helping other photographers and a photographer reached out to me and I had been wanting to shoot with this queen forever. She was like on the top, if there was a pyramid of aspirational models, like she was at the top of this pyramid. And so I was like, I can't believe she's asking me to come second shoot this wedding with her.

4:46So we get to the event and we're getting out our gear and our bags. And she hands me a stack of business cards. And she's like, Hey, if anybody asks, this is your business. And I looked at her business cards and I was like, oh, okay, sure. And what I didn't say because I was new and I was nervous and I wasn't comfortable using my voice to actually ask sincere questions. I had just said, okay. And I put them in my bag. But the emotion that it brought up for me was I didn't feel like she trusted me. In fact, I thought she doubted me. I was like, why? And the rest of the evening, I was kind of like, okay, let me, watching my P's and Q's, making sure that like, I wanted to wear a sign that said, I am not the business owner.

5:31And I wanted to do such a great job for her because she was trusting me. But in the back of my mind, I wondered, did she trust me? So what happens is I was out doing this for her. And I had to believe now looking back that the reason why we started our day on that note was because somebody must have burned her in the past. I actually didn't get it. What happened was I then later started my business. So I'm starting my business and I'm not actually concerned about getting second or third shooters because my husband and my business partner was second shooting for me. And so after that incident with that first shooter, anytime I shot for any other photographer, I just thought, well, I want to make sure that they trust me.

6:14And so at the beginning of the night or the beginning of the day, whenever it would start, I say, Hey, do you have a couple of business cards in case anybody asks me. And you would be so surprised at the way that people would respond to that. They'd be like, oh yeah, thank you so much. It established such a good relationship. And the response was like so visceral that I thought to myself, there is something here. It's not just one photographer who's saying like, hey, the protocol is when somebody asks, like you hand them my business card and not yours. And to me, that was such a foreign idea. I was like, why would I ever hand out my business card when I'm shooting for you?

6:43It didn't cross my mind. But then all of a sudden, when I asked other photographers for the business cards, they were like, yes, please. And I was like, something is here and it's not personal. Well, when I became a first shooter, which means it was my business and I was booking these events, I didn't actually have to book a second shooter because JD, my husband and business partner, like I just said, was shooting with me. So then this happens. We decided for a larger event to bring on a third shooter. Now I did not think, and I was actually just, I'll be honest, I was a little uncomfortable telling this third shooter, here's my business cards.

7:15If somebody asks, this is the business that you're gonna be promoting today. This is the business of this event. I didn't say that because I was afraid, embarrassed. I didn't want to make that person feel the way that I had. Okay, you wanna know what happened? The day of that event, somebody asks, hey, can I have your information? And what does she do? She hands her business card, not mine. Now, she could have asked myself or JD for our business card. But what happens is in the mind of the consumer, people who are at the event, we were a team. And so when somebody's asking for a business card, they're asking it on behalf of the team.

7:53And as the first shooter, I'm running around and I'm doing all these things as the business owner. And that is when I learned a valuable lesson. If you are providing a service that somebody else is paying for, like at an event, it is not a job that you had booked, nor are the services that you are providing something that you had booked or achieved or pursued or marketed or branded or secured on your own. If you are ever in that position, never, ever, ever, ever, ever pretend like you are. It ruins credibility and it ruins trust. So, you know, just imagine how uncomfortable it was for me to afterward say, hey, that family came up to me and they said that the photographer was named Jaz and Star, but the card I have is, and then they said that name.

8:47That's when I knew, oh, that happens and it happens a lot. I realized that the value of my reputation was not the same value that other people held. So I'm going to tell you about something that happened recently. And this This is why I debated sharing this podcast because I don't want to come in and talk negatively about a person or a situation, but I do actually want to talk about the reality of what in fact happened and the differences between the two. So recently I got a text message from a number I had not recognized and I was like, oh, I just think it's spam. And then when I opened the text message, it said, hi, Jasmine, I am the former executive assistant of blank.

9:32I left the organization a couple months ago to do my own thing. I am. And then she like said what she was doing, which was a promotional offer for her business, which was similar to what the other business had done and said, I would love to. And then she invited me to do something on behalf of that business. I'm leaving out some pretty big details, but you get what happened here, right? I read that text message and I thought, oh, this is how you do not get business. This is how you do not earn trust. Because what is implied is that this executive assistant took personal information, my personal information, and then wanted to pitch her new business that was directly correlated from the business she had just left.

10:19No bueno, amigos, no bueno. I immediately felt that this person, if she did it to this other person, could do it to anybody else. And when I feel that something's misaligned, I like to take a big step back and not get involved with that. Why? I understand if the person has done it once, they will do it again and again. And so I thought to myself, hmm, what different way could have this had happened? Would I not be so much more welcoming to this former executive assistant if her former boss would have said, Jasmine, you need to connect with this person? She's amazing. That comes with a vouch. That comes with a cool.

10:56That comes with no second guessing. And maybe her brimmer bus did know, maybe. But how it made me feel that you texted me and didn't even email me, which means that very few people, y 'all, you have to know, I never give out my phone number. I am like the LMO with my phone number. I never. So the fact that this was like my domain for somebody I don't know, who clearly got it from somebody else, it just made me feel, I don't know, a question mark above my head. But all I distinctly knew was like, oh, this is not how you get business. Now, also recently at an event I spoke at, it was like a digital event and they had a production crew.

11:35So they have somebody doing your mic and audio and somebody doing visuals and multiple camera people and producers. And it was a very nice event. I was like, wow, this is really incredible. I had a great experience. Now there's two situations that happened after the event. Situation number one, one of the people in the event space, now I'm not going to say where in all of the alchemy of this crew was, he had reached out to me and said, Hey, Jasmine, I do this on the side. If you ever need something along these lines, be sure to hit me up. And I thought to myself, you were at an event where you got paid and then you got to meet me.

12:12And then you sent me a message on social media, pitching your services for the same thing you did for somebody else. Oh, no bueno amigo. this is not how you get business. Why? I can't trust you. What you did to that boss in your situation. Now, if your boss had, oh, let's get into situation number two, same event, same event. What happens is one of the videographers provides a service that this organization does not offer, which means there is no conflict of interest, right? Two different businesses, although they had contracted this person to come into the business and offer something they didn't offer, there was no conflict of interest.

12:52So just imagine this situation. The boss, the owner of this entire production crew had said, you should check out X. He's amazing. So that when X followed up with me after on social media, again, I trusted X because X went through the right protocol. X got a validation and a co-sign from his boss. Friends, there are ways to grow your business organically. You want to be so good that the person who hired you then becomes an advocate of you. And if this person will never advocate on your behalf, they're not responsible for that. They're running a business. They owe you nothing. And I know that sounds pretty awful, but it's just business.

13:37It's not personal. If you have a boss who's paying you money to do something that you're good at and or love, then we need to accept it as that. We do not need to look at the situation and try to leverage it for our own benefit. So what's the big takeaways here? Well, two, the biggest lesson that I learned is to never apologize to state the terms on which you hire people. Never forget the terms, never apologize, never back away from setting your own terms. If somebody doesn't like those terms, no problem, they don't have to work for you. So in the case that I wish I had handed out my business cards and said, hey, in case anybody asks, this is the photographers for the event.

14:20I should have had the courage and the strength to do that. So please learn from my mistake. Now, as a CEO of a tech company, when you have employees who are good at what it is that they do, other people from other companies will reach out to your team members and say, hey, can you do for me what you've done for her? And I'm really thankful when this happened, one of our team members had come up to me and said, hey, this was an opportunity that was given to me. Can I go and do it? And that's a very different conversation. But the idea here is that you're setting the terms and the terms can be discussed, but the terms had been laid out in advance.

14:57Now, if you don't have your own business and you really are offering your services and doing a great job for others, I just want you to know that your work ethic and your ability, that's gonna be the thing to set you apart. Never, never worry about being at somebody else's event or in somebody else's business and try to build your own from there. I believe that the right customers will find you in the right time. So I'm gonna be very honest and let you know that talking about this kind of made me a little pasty mouth. Like I'm like, oh wow, we're going there. We're going there. But I'm so happy that I'm stepping into this because I have to believe that somebody needed to hear this one thing.

15:37If it saves you any heartache, embarrassment, pain, time, resentment, Y 'all, I am here for this. This is called the game of business, right? The ups and the downs. And then we are here to share what it is we know. So if this happened to resonate with you at all, y 'all know I answer my own DMs. So shoot me a DM, at Jasmine Star on Instagram. If this has resonated with you and you wanna share publicly on stories, you know I love that. If you're learning things along the way, is there anybody else in your life or your circle who could pass this around? This podcast has done ads free. we actually pay to create this content.

16:14We pay to share the content and we offer it to you for free. So it's so amazing if we have a little reciprocity. Subscribe, leave a comment, leave a comment. No, no, no. It's subscribe and leave a review. See, see, we're just making it up as we go over here. It is subscribe and leave a review. We leave and read all the reviews. I appreciate it a thousand times over. We create this podcast with love. And so anything that you share with us back in return, we're just mirroring each other. Thanks a thousand times over. I hope you have a beautiful day.