How to STOP Playing Small and Step into Your Purpose

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0:38Hey there, welcome to the Jasmine star show. My name is Katie and I am the president of social curator and we have something special for you today. Now on the inside of social curator, Jasmine hosts group coaching every month. And just a week or so ago, someone came on group coaching. Her name was Susan. And she told Jasmine she was tired of playing small, but she needed help to level up. And y 'all, what happened next, there were chills up and down my arm. The chat was literally blowing up. What Susan said and what Jasmine guided her through, I think hit a chord with everyone in that virtual room.

1:14And I think it will hit a chord for you too. Let's listen in. hi hi how are you i'm doing well thank you i'm loving the themes that are coming through here because i think they're all going to echo with my question um and there are a couple questions but the short of it is i'm getting ready to up level i am saying it out loud i am done playing small and i've been playing small for years and there are a number of times when i've tried to stop playing small and i just fall right back into it and i'm like i feel like i'm throwing things across the room at this point. I am done playing small. I am making some changes to my program and I am dramatically changing the pricing, which is stupid low.

1:55How do I make sure that I stick with it, that I follow through with this, that I stop playing small? As I help introverts and as an introvert, I hide under a rock and I don't even notice that I'm there and that I'm doing it until I'm there. How do I stay here where I can show up and stop playing small. I love this. And I'm going to ask before we kind of get into this as a deep dive, I'm going to ask you to say, I am done playing small period. And then I'm going to ask you to repeat that three times slowly. Because what I heard Susan was I am done playing small. I'm about to throw things across the room.

2:37I'm done playing small because I am under rock. And so what happens is we quickly followed up so that we lessened the power of making a declarative statement. And so I want you to make a decorative statement and I want you to sit in it. And I need you to hear it because a thought that is verbalized is processed differently in the brain. And so I want you to just say it three times and we're just going to hold space for you to say it and practice with us so that when you say it and practice in public, it becomes a hell of a lot easier. So take it away. I am done playing small. I'm done playing small.

3:16I am effing done playing small. Got the chills. Got the chills. This is beautiful. This is beautiful. Step one is to verbalize it and say it. Make it a mantra. Put it on a post-it note in your mirror. Put it on a post-it note on your laptop, slip it in a book randomly so that when you come across that page tomorrow or next year, you remind yourself of it. But I once heard that the only way a person changes is that the pressure of staying the same must exceed the pressure of the desired change. And the reason you have continued to go back and play small is because the pressure of not playing big wasn't hard enough.

4:05It didn't trick you enough. So the pressure of playing small keeps us safe, but it also keeps us stuck. And so what I need us to ask and clearly know is that if you continue to behave and act and embody the same energy, what happens in a year, two years, or five years, that the pressure of staying here will actually not get you to where you want to go? Does it impact your money, time, space, energy? What is the thing that will say I'm done because this pressure is smaller than the pressure I feel in the future? What do you stand to lose by staying here? I'm going to try really hard not to lose it in this call because it's really hard not to.

4:54This is emotional stuff. I stand to disappoint myself, to let me down, to not be able to afford the life I imagined for myself, I will continue to feel stuck. I'll continue to feel like I'm not good enough. When I am good enough, it's what I'm doing that's keeping me feeling that way. I'm going to continue to be unhappy because I'm not living up to my own potential. And how am I supposed to help somebody else live up to theirs when I can't, or I choose not to live up to mine? And I think this is a choice. Something you just said reminded me of an article I read. And I forgot, it's recent, but I forgot about it, that they did a study about people choosing to make change or not making change.

5:37And the people who made the changes, more of them were significantly more happy than the people who chose not to change. And some of this is mental. And I think I need it here as well. So what I need to focus on, I need to focus on what I want in the future, not that comfort. And I think when I crawl under the rock, I'm just looking for comfort because it's scary. I don't know if that answers your question. It does. These questions are only answerable by you. That's it. And you must hear yourself say that you will stay stuck. And you must hear yourself say that you will not be able to help people.

6:21Yeah. You must hear yourself say that you are not living to your highest potential. and you must hear yourself say that you can't afford to do this for another four or five years. Yeah, I can't afford to spend my life this way. You know, I just lost my mom about six months ago and it really makes you think, what are you doing with this life? And that's, I think, where the change really started. I'm like, no, this is not the life I want to live. I have way more potential if I would just kick my own ass into gear. And one of the things you just said that I hear is I need to not verbalize staying stuck, verbalize where I'm at, verbalize fear.

7:04I need to verbalize what I envision. That's right. That's right. And in addition, I'm going to invite you in addition to verbalizing where you will be, I want you to verbalize that when you play small, you're lessening the impact you have for others. There are other people. So on the days that Susan is not loving herself as she should, and on the days that there is a negative narrative going on in her mind, that if not for the love of herself, for the love of somebody else who really needs help as an introvert in an extroverted world, that somebody's potential is being hampered because you're not allowing yourself to be the vehicle of change.

7:53You're playing too small. They're too small of a vessel to hold space for somebody else. So on the days that you are tempted to go back in it, on the days that you're tempted to lower the price for your offerings, you must remember that that's the old you and the old you is no longer here. And we express gratitude for who that person was, but the new you who has a massively successful retirement plan and the new you who gets to have a four-day work week and the new you is working with clients who light you up and the new you is an effortlet launch that brings money to you and the new you that stepping in and taking up space is not just for you it's for the people that you serve and if you can't get of your own damn way for yourself get out of your way for them and I think my friend that is how you take up space and it will not happen overnight it will be a daily decision you make for the rest of your life.

8:44That is it. So welcome to day one. Welcome to day one with making these big, bold statements. Yeah. I would love for you to stay in connection in the community and let us know what it feels like to take up space. And this is not a lovely merry-go-round. It's a rollercoaster. Yeah. Highs and there's going to be lows. Bring us on the journey with you because what you're vocalizing right now, people in the chat are just like, you're vocalizing what a lot of times people don't have the words for. So you taking up space has been a gift for them. So continue to take up space in the community, practice on us so that you get in front of others and are able to facilitate in the highest self, your highest version of yourself.

9:30Thank you. One, one more thought is it occurs to me as you're saying that, that it's showing up in my personal life too, where I'm not taking up space. That's a key piece of the problem is I play small. I literally physically and emotionally play small and I need to take down my own barriers and show up. Try really hard not to cuss on your show. I'm thinking, come as they are. You are accepted here. There is no judgment. There's a space for all of this, all of it. And then some, so you show up as you now let's get a little practical. it's showing up in your personal life and you playing small so then how then when you walk into a room and you're like I'm gonna play big I'm gonna play big and then all of a sudden you spill something or somebody says a joke and you laugh too loud and something comes out of your mouth and you're like oh my god I'm just no no what does it actually practically look like and I would invite one example but you're gonna find your own path as a high introvert I immediately spiral when I feel like I've spoken too much or I've spoken at a turn so then what I do is I find somebody in the room who I go in 100 % my fullest self unsullied and I say, hey, I want to try to take up space.

10:36When you see me peeling back, encourage me, give me a code word. Or if I've been a little quiet, can you call on me to give me space to speak? You won't do this for the rest of your life, but every so often having that facilitator to poke you into it is really helpful. That is one thing that I have discovered and I think it's made a big impact in how I show up. Yeah, I need partners and buddies and safe people where I can be that person in the rest of the world. Absolutely. And not every room you walk into will accept you. In fact, the vast majority of them will not. But when you have one person who is your ally and is helping you create that space, you're not doing it alone.

11:12And when you don't do it alone, you show up differently. You just do. Awesome. How can people connect with you online, Susan? So like I'm Susan CZ, S-U-Z-A-N-C-Z across the Internet. I love that. I love that. I love that. And for the people who are just giving love bombs right now, thank you for making this community what it is. We are given the permission to show up as ourselves. And this is the first step of many. And people are leaving in the chat. Welcome to day one. I look forward to cheering you on in day 100 and day 1000 and day 10 ,000. I wish you all the best. Thank you. Thank you so much, Jasmine.

11:46Thank you. wasn't that powerful? If you are like Susan and you know, you need to stop playing small and you want to start your day one, you can come join us on the inside of social curator. We are open for registration, for joining, for being a part of our community. At any time, you can go to social curator.com backslash join. In fact, if you're listening to this podcast on On the day it releases, we have our lowest rates ever right now through the end of the day on Friday, June 16th, 2023. So go come join us. Our community is a place where you will feel seen, where you will feel appreciated, where your struggles are safe place to share.

12:28And we're encouraging every single person on the inside. It's your day one. Let's go.

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