My Honest Audio Diary: A Week of Business “Flops” (and what I learned from them)

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0:39Welcome back to the Jasmine Starr Show, a place where we talk about business marketing. And today, drumroll, wait for it. We are going to be talking about a week's worth of what I considered to be setbacks or flops. Now, I use the word flops like, you know, it's very loosely because, you know, I'm making the decision. I am choosing to look at situations in a non-dualistic way. And so what does this mean? I understand that setbacks and challenges, they're not good and they're not bad, but I believe they're necessary for business and personal growth, right? But it's one thing to talk about that.

1:15It's an entirely different thing to record it and document it for a week and then share it with you. So that's exactly what I did. Throughout a seven-day period, I candidly recorded these short clips. I literally did it in the moment. You're going to hear the audio change because I did it on my phone. When something didn't go as planned, I just popped on my phone and I talked about it. And now that I've had some time, I've had some time to reflect on what I called flops. And I wanted to share the lessons and other insights I've learned from them. And so before we go any further, I want to let you know that even though this is what you could call, I don't know, an audible journal for the week, this episode isn't about me.

1:57It's about you. And I'm sharing this because number one, I've noticed problems in business. They're not all that unique. And we often struggle with the same things. And number two, I think that a lot of times so often we see people a few steps ahead of us in business. And then we think, well, when I get to that point, I'll be good. Like when I get to that point, even if things don't go as planned, like, oh, my team will take care of it, or I'm going to be in a state of flow. Or maybe like you and I have a real conversation and you just simply say to yourself, I'll know more. And so I'm going to be more in control of my situation.

2:31And if I am that person for you, like after hearing what I go through and you're just like, wow, thanks for calling out that future curve around the bend. Thank you for calling out that wave that's going to be hitting me in the next 12 months. Great. Like I want to keep it real with you. And I want you to be prepared for stuff that maybe I wasn't prepared for or just normalize it. Like life and business. They're not always easy and picture perfect, but it's worth it. And this is what I get an opportunity to not just talk about, but to prove, to show you, like to put you in the situation with me.

3:05So I'm going to give you an overview of each of the things that went wrong. And there's a total of six clips. So right before I play the clip, I'm going to share the lesson or any insights that I've learned. So, you know, I'll kind of give like a preview. Then you're going to go into the real candid feedback. And at the end, I'll talk about from a different perspective after it's happened and I'm recording this kind of connective storyline through it, you can see what I've learned. And for my note takers, I want to make sure that you stay until the end because we're going to review it all together and then tie it up hopefully with a big, nice bow.

3:37All right. Okay. Why am I nervous? I'm legitimately nervous. I think that people say, oh, Jasmine, you're very open. And I am with some things. I'm a highly private person. And I know people don't really think that, but I am. I'm basically like the LMO of emotions and things that are existing in my private life. And so when I'm recording these in real time and then sharing them, it makes me feel very open and vulnerable. But I'm going to tell you something. Oftentimes, we'll record podcasts that are both audio and visual, which means the video will exist on YouTube and Facebook and LinkedIn. But in this one, I'm only doing audio.

4:19And I'm only doing audio because I like this medium. I like just me, you, my voice, and my true authentic self. So maybe this is what I would call it, podcast exclusive. So like just my real OGs, like my ride or die, like you guys are going to be getting premium content that exists nowhere else. Welcome y 'all. Welcome to the Jasmine Star Show. This is how we do it. Okay. So let's start with the first flop. Now, just as a reminder, I am calling them a flop. I don't think that they are, but in the moment, it definitely felt like it. So the first flop is when I felt like I could have done a better job communicating in managing expectations about a new offer with my team leaders.

4:59So let's get into that clip now. Okay. So on Mondays, we have team all hands meetings. This is where the entire team gets together and we talk about our initiatives for the week, things that are getting us stuck, things that we're excited about, our wins and so forth. And lately I've been trying to incorporate a little bit of personal development that I've been doing to ensure that the team is seeing things from my perspective and they're invited, if they so choose, to really focus on self-development as well. So yesterday, Monday, I'm talking to the team about associating value in exchange for energy, which I know probably sounds super woo-woo, but I did an okay job explaining how my mentor explained that money in exchange of value is really like an energy exchange.

5:46So we shouldn't be attached to a numeric value of sorts, but us aligning a value, right? And so let's put this into a little bit more context. I'm really excited, like absurdly so, got an idea of creating a new course. And so the team and I are working behind the scenes on what this should be about and the messaging and the pricing. And so I was talking about an energy exchange of how do we showcase so much value that it makes it almost crazy not to make an investment in this type of course on what somebody's going to get back. So I was feeling really excited about it. I should also mention that this is the first time ever we're working on a large scale with affiliates.

6:27So I'm going to be honest, it's kind of just really riding a high. And then I had a meeting with two of our key leads in creating this course. And so they sat down and had a serious conversation and they said, we need to just speak our mind to which I was like, great, please do so. And they brought up a few of their concerns in regards to what kind of affiliate launch we were going to have. And when I heard carefully what they were saying, I needed to make sure that what I was hearing was in fact what they were trying to say. So I asked questions, making sure that as I understood it, they were really focused and concerned on optimizing how we could make the affiliate structure for this course even better.

7:10Like how do we offer them a white glove experience, something that they feel like it's a concierge, something that they're so proud to be a part of. And I understood those questions, but what was underneath those questions was this idea of, will it be as good as this person's affiliate system, that person's affiliate structure, that person's affiliate education. And so what I needed to do in that moment was really hear what was going on. They want to serve our affiliates so well, but there was a comparison going on at the same time. And so I feel like almost as a leader, I was like, I didn't set up the team and really establish the foundation that like, they're doing a great job and we're running our own race.

7:52And maybe our affiliate program, since it is brand new, it might not be as fancy or built out as other people's, but we're just getting started. So we're not getting started behind, or we're not getting started too late. We're just getting started. So we have a long path ahead of us. And so I heard them out. I explained that it is my job as CEO to get things out of their way, wherever they're stuck, wherever there's like a speed bump, my job is to remove that. So I said, what do you need to ensure that you are giving a 12 out of 10 experience for our affiliates? And they listed four things. And of those four things, I said, JD and I are committed to making sure that you feel seen and heard.

8:32And I kind of felt great after I got off the call. And then I kind of fell into a little bit of a funk when JD and I were at dinner with Luna and we were discussing what I was feeling on the residual. And I think I felt really bummed that I didn't set the team up from the beginning to say, you guys, like we're running our own race and you guys are doing a great job. I should have done better with that on the beginning to set those expectations. And so then I slept on it. And then the next day, which was today, I woke up this morning really early and I said, I need to have my own time. I need to figure out what is coming up for me.

9:08And so then I had a little bit of prayer time. I did a 25 minute meditation. I then went and practice yoga. And I know people are like, that sounds like a lot of inner self work. Who has time for that? I know it was, I was just up at like 345 this morning. I couldn't sleep. I literally couldn't sleep. So I said, well, I'm awake and I'm going to do the work in order to prepare me to do and be and embrace being a different type of person and a different type of leader. So I journaled, I did yoga, I felt better. And then I sent a message to our key leads. And I said, I want to make sure that you feel heard.

9:44I want to make sure that we're removing obstacles. And I want to make sure that you always feel okay telling me what you need when you need it. And I want to make sure that you feel heard. I don't want to be this ever optimistic energizer bunny to be like, we can do anything. Let's go team. Like I need to hear what is getting in people's ways. And then I need to work with JD to remove those things. At the end of it, I kind of felt like yesterday, I kind of felt like a little bit of a flop, right? I felt like, Oh, I kind of felt as like a flop leader, not preparing the team to let them know what was truly expected today.

10:11I feel like I have a second breath. I have a second opportunity to confirm that I heard them, to confirm that we are here to remove obstacles, and to confirm that we're still moving ahead with this launch and really preparing an affiliate structure that is very, very, very positive. So I talked a little bit about those lessons here in this clip when I was in the moment, but I want to further explain. There are three main things that I want you to take away from this. Lesson number one is to consistently work on effective communication and active listening. This means being willing to listen to team members or maybe, you know, clients, members, customers, like to listen to their concerns without feeling attacked or without the need to like defend it or fight for a point.

10:54Having team members or people who care and here's the thing, having team members or people who care feel comfortable enough. Those are two different things. Like having a team is one thing. Having team members who feel comfortable enough to come to you with like their concerns or their insights, like that's a blessing, y 'all. Like their concerns make us better. Number two is managing expectations. For me, this was setting the team up to know that we're running our own race. We are just getting started. This could also look like letting customers know like when to expect deliverables, like the results that they're getting, how often they're going to hear feedback from you.

11:33This is about managing expectations. This is about owning exactly where you are and making no apologies for it. This is telling everybody everything so they may feel informed and powerful. Lesson number three is to practice self-care and reflection. I know, it's like, okay, Jasmine, that's cliche. Listen, probably, but taking care of yourself, it helps you handle difficult situations and bounce back. These are things that are easy to do, but they're also easy not to do. For years, I did not do this. But when you choose to do these things for yourself, you're also choosing to lead from a higher place.

12:12And that, friends, is wildly valuable. That is how you turn a flop into a flip. Okay. Oh my, this is not notes. This is just me having conversations. This is how you turn your flops to flips. Maybe that should be the podcast episode title. Okay. So moving on to the second flop. This one shares a time when I not only underestimated how much time it would take for me to review content, but also made me rethink the content I wanted to teach in an upcoming course. Oh yeah, you guys, it was a moment. I'm just going to tell you. Okay. So here we go. Clip number two. Today's Wednesday, but I woke up thinking it was Thursday.

12:47So I got up, I worked out, I showered, I made Luna breakfast. I sat down at my computer at 8 55 because I thought I was going to do group coaching today at 9am. And I realized it's not Thursday, it's Wednesday. So in addition to that, I looked at all of my workload. And I realized that yesterday, I had a pretty large assignment. And I asked the team, whenever there's a pretty robust item to be reviewed or needs my oversight to, if at all possible, assign how long they might think it would take me to do it. It helps me organize my day. So Katie said that I would have review tasks that would take around 40 minutes.

13:27So I allocated an hour to review it. I like to buffer that. But it took more than an hour and I didn't finish it yesterday. And so I woke up this morning, I started reviewing it and in the middle of it, I realized, oh my goodness, this isn't gonna take me 40 minutes. It's not gonna take me an hour. It's not gonna take me two hours. This has taken me about two and a half hours to review because it was so much beautiful content. But in addition to actually realizing that the review process was taking me longer, I actually also realized that the amount of content that I was reviewing in terms of teaching it in a course was too much for one weekly lesson.

14:07And so when we were creating an overview of the course, I was like, this should be in, oh, you know, this one weekly lesson and this should be in this another weekly lesson. And I'm on week two and I realized, oh my God, what we thought was going to be content for week two, I think it needs to be divided at minimum between two weeks. And so then this caused me to actually pull back even farther and ask myself, what is the goal? Do we want people doing this course? Because I'm teaching this course live. And because I'm teaching it live, I mean, I think how freaking cool would it be to actually finish the course with us and then go out and launch and promote your product?

14:45Like if that is our goal, and then I realized myself, oh, I'm assuming that's the goal. And so as I'm going through content, I number one, underestimated how long it would take me. Number two, I underestimated how much I'd actually want to be teaching to students in any given week because I want people not to get overwhelmed. I want to give a clear path to getting it done. I don't want people taking a course. I want people promoting their product or service, and I want them doing it in an entirely different way. And so if then that's my goal, I need to take a big step back and be like, okay, so how we originally thought that this plan was going to unfold, it's not unfolding.

15:22Not a problem. We're literally months out from creating this and teaching this and even promoting it itself. However, it's causing me to ask much bigger questions. And so I think that for a second, I was getting overwhelmed thinking, did we underestimate how long this program would be? And then I thought to myself, well, why should I look at that as a positive or negative? I simply look at it as a fact. Wow, this is amazing. We're months away from launching this. And now we get to come out and reassess how long this program is going to be, not because we want to make the program longer, but because we actually want people to do something on the back of that.

15:58And that made me feel excited. I went from being like, oh man, oh man, to, oh man, this is going to be legit. At least that's how I'm feeling today. Okay. So to be clear, this situation, it wasn't necessarily positive or negative, but it wasn't something that went as planned. The main lesson that I would want you to take away from this would be to remain solution-focused, even when it's inconvenient. You know, it's like being solution-focused when everything's working out for you, that's easier. When the timing's not great, you're like, oh, okay, solution-focused, how do we get to yes? How do we get to a win-win-win?

16:34So making unexpected changes and then breaking up the beautiful content that Katie and Jade had spent hours laying out, I'm telling you, that was not necessarily ideal. But because we were solution-focused, we saw this as an opportunity to add clarity to the course and make learning more manageable for our students who choose to join. And those students, they are our number one priority. We think of them. We put ourselves in their shoes and ask, how do we make this as easy as possible? How do we get it done? How do we empower them? How do we make them stronger? And coming from that place of putting ourselves in their shoes, aka your shoes, we're making a better decision so that you feel known, seen, and heard.

17:15Okay. So I agree. Sometimes it is easy to look at unexpected moments in business and then you get frustrated because of how much time it's taking or going on a detour to find the right solution. But I also want to take a moment to really understand what just happened in case it happens to you. And so if that time comes, you're ready to apply a new mindset and find a way to be thankful for the moment. What really happened was that we saw a road bump before anybody else did. The three of us actually diverted a potential problem. Like, think about this. We fixed a messy situation before any students even experienced it.

17:57Like, come on, can I get a praise hanky up in this place? Like, this is priceless. This is priceless. I would not want to learn this lesson in the middle of it. So we can't just look at any given situation and think, it didn't go as planned. We must be able to see into the future and express gratitude in the present for the gift of being able to fix something in the early stages so that your students, your customers, your clients, they have an excellent experience. We're literally applying a new mindset to this same situation and not having it feel heavy, we feel gratitude. That, my friend, is turning a flop into a flip.

18:35Okay, are we over that? Are you just like, Jasmine, that was okay the first time you said it? No more? I probably feel that same way. I mean, who am I kidding here? Okay, let's move on to the third flop. And I recorded this one when I wasn't even able to start the largest task of reviewing content that I was assigned, and I needed to ask my team for a two-day extension. Y 'all, this hurt my feelings. Here's why. Let's get into that clip.

19:01it's wednesday the end of my work day it's 5 0 1 at this moment and things did not go as i had expected i didn't even start reviewing the second biggest task today i had said i was going to be reviewing week two and three didn't even start week three that is how much time and energy so what happened is i had a meeting to actually discuss a much bigger picture of how we're going to be unveiling our content. And then in order to ensure that we were in alignment, I reached out to people who I think are dream future students of this course. And then I asked them if we would be able to strategize content layout, what would be the best and most effective way for them to consume the content.

19:48And so we went on this like different, entirely different conversation. I feel really, really, I feel like it's promising. It just took us so many different hours and I hopped into a different meeting. And then I had a late day meeting that was slated for 30 minutes and it ended up being over an hour. And I think it's really cool. There's a company that is having discussions around equity and how much equity I would be able to get as part of consulting with a company from marketing strategy and a go-to-market kind of approach in the digital marketing space. and then talking about equity in different shapes or forms if I were to take a public position for the company.

20:31If it works out or not, just having these types of conversations is really inspiring and hopeful. But at the same time, it kind of threw a big kink in my plans because it went much longer than I expected. So when I went into Slack, I asked for an extension from the team who's waiting on me. And here's the crazy thing is I'm not asking for an extension from Wednesday to Thursday because tomorrow I have a long list of podcast interviews and meetings that I won't have time to actually get into the review content. I try to keep my review content to specific days so I can stay in the zone of doing that.

21:03So I'm asking, hey, can we push this till Friday? So not exactly what I expected, but trying to roll with things as they come. Okay. So the lessons I want you to take away from this point, there's two of them. Number one, be realistic with your time and your workload. And number two, under promise and over deliver. Now this isn't just for your own sake, but for the people who work with you too. Asking for a two day extension, it just, it was not ideal, but I knew I wasn't able to get this done the next day either. Okay. Like I could have said, Oh, let me get it done the next day. I would have let people down by asking for two days.

21:38I was able to fulfill my commitment when I said I would. And if I don't maybe by chance a meeting was canceled on Thursday and I was able to get it done on that Thursday. Well, then awesome. But always under promise and over deliver. It's the difference between disappointing and satisfying people, even when the result is the same. So on our team, one of our core values is dependability. And we define dependability as you do what you say when you're going to do it, right? It's like you do what you say you're going to do when you say you're going to do it. That's it. Dependability. We need to depend on you.

22:12So we have a small team. So our deadlines, well, they mean a lot. This isn't something that is about one person, but the whole team. If we miss deadlines, it has an entire domino effect on everybody in the company. Because the week was filled with unforeseen detours, I couldn't make a deadline. So instead of taking on too much or promising an unrealistic timeline, I informed the team of a new deadline that I knew I could hit. The key takeaways are having enough self-awareness to under-promise and over-deliver, and then having the confidence to ask for precisely what it is you need. Now, I should probably add here, there was a time in my previous career, like there was a time in my life, earlier in my career, I should say, is when in order to hit a deadline, I would just grind throughout the night to get it done.

23:04And it works, but I don't think it works for me, like the person. Like it worked for me as a founder who's scrappy and it's like, come hell or high water, I'm going to do it all. And what happened was it quickly led to burnout. And so now I've learned a lesson is I know that there is a fast track to burnout and there is a fast track to asking for what you need when you need it and still being able to hit overall deadlines. And I just wanted to draw that line of distinction that, yeah, I could have stayed up really late that night getting it done, but I don't think that it serves the long-term vision of what I want to do with this organization.

23:43Okay. So the fourth flop that I want to share with you was an unexpected life moment that came up during my work time. I had plenty of work, okay, I had plenty of work that I needed to get done that day, but I had to put it aside to prioritize a family matter. Okay. Let's get into that fourth cut. Good morning. It's Friday and in a slight change of plans, JD and I were able to secure an interview for a preschool. We've been kind of keeping our eye on a few preschools and, you know, it's basically October. School's already started. Schools are not trying to admit new students, but we got pushed off for a few weeks and then we got word last minute that We had an interview opportunity.

24:23So it's part of my work day. So, you know, we had plans for me to get work done, but that's okay. I'm going to prioritize what we need to prioritize right now and then find a way to make it work tomorrow. I'm speaking at an event in La Jolla, so that's a Saturday. So, you know, this weekend probably a little unexpectedly will require me to do some work, and that's okay because this is a work day that I'm using for personal time, which means that I'm going to have to maybe use some personal time over the weekend to do some work. And it is not exactly how I expected, but trying to make the best of it and then adding grace along the way.

25:01Now, here's the lesson. The lesson is to give yourself grace and give yourself the same grace that you give to others. If a team member of mine needed to adjust a couple hours of work time to do this, that most likely wouldn't have been a problem. I am proud that we have created a culture that empowers people to work independently and not have to choose between work and family. Like we actually take pride in how well we work as a group, but also on our own. I love being the type of leader who sets a goal and then the team figures out how to make it happen and their own responsibilities and their own timelines.