The 3 Business Lessons My Greatest Mentor Taught Me

0:00Being un-average and ambitious sets you apart from most people in the world. And if you are so set apart or you are different from the norm, you are absolutely going to be judged. But that is the price you pay. Have you ever had a person believe in you when you didn't believe in yourself? Like somebody who took sweeping bets on you when you just felt like emotionally bankrupt? This has happened once in my life and it forever changed my business beyond my wildest imagination. it's a little hard to talk about right now so when you have somebody that believes in you to that degree in like such a big way you can't help but continue to push on because you trust they can see something in you that sometimes you can't see in yourself i want to share how my greatest mentor entered my life and the incredible results she helped me earn so the goal is episode is to share these lessons with you so you can have a mentor too so you can get outsized results by making small changes.

0:57But first, I need to share with how I met and then later hired this mentor. I don't know if y 'all remember back in 2020, there was this app, this platform called Clubhouse. Now, Clubhouse is just like an audio platform where you would just on your phone, everybody would be able to have the ability to enter in a room and you would have hosts and then you could be a guest in that room. And every so often, the host would bring up guests. So this is like a radio program, essentially. And so in 2020, I was building my tech platform called Social Curator, and I had never built a SaaS offering, a software as a service.

1:32And so I was trying to get every bit of free, amazing information. So I entered this room for SaaS founders. And every day, Monday through Friday, I would hear this woman named Susan, and she would host this room with two other people. And they were talking about how they built their SaaS businesses and things to look for. And she was just so smart. And she was so brilliant. And she was so incredible. So much so that like, I felt like I had an affinity towards her. Every day at 7 a.m., right before my daughter would wake up, I'd be making my daughter's breakfast and listening to this radio show.

2:02And for 30 minutes from 7 to 7.30, I was plugged in five days a week. And so after a couple months of listening to her, I had a question that I didn't know anybody else I could ask. So I developed the courage to raise my hand in Clubhouse. And then, against all odds, a lot of people were trying to get on her stage. I was brought up. I asked my question and she gave the most incredible advice. That advice helped me fundraise$555 ,000 in less than an hour. That's how incredible she is. So a couple months after that conversation, she reached out to me and sent me a direct message on Twitter of all places.

2:41And she had said, Hey, Jasmine, how are things going after that call? And then I was like, I'm going to get pitched. I'm going to get pitched. Okay. Well, I'm not going to get paid. I'm not going to buy anything. So, okay. Started chatting. She's like, let's set up a 30 minute meeting. So I went to this meeting and she's just asking, you know, how I'm doing about the business, giving me insight all for free, giving me like the best stuff. And I was like, wow, this is great. And I thought to the end, oh, here it comes. She's going to pitch. She's like, okay, well, let's chat in a few months and see if I can help anywhere along the line.

3:07And I was like, okay. A few months later, she follows up with me and she's like, hey, Jasmine, do you want to meet for 30 minutes? And I was like, ah, here it is. Finally, she's going to pitch me. And so then we meet and she doesn't pitch me. She's like, hey, you're doing amazing things. If you ever need anything. I was like, okay, got its own. I went to JD. My husband is a business partner. And I was like, how do I hire this woman? And so instead of her pitching me, I pitched her. I said, I would love to learn from you and with you. So two years after I hired Susan, it's now 2022. I invited Susan to come on my show and give an inside look of what it's like to give advice to me and my business.

3:46The feedback that we got on the show was so good. And I'm going to link to the full show in the show notes, but I want to share a quick highlight of her wisdom and valuable lessons. How do we self-talk our way? And actually this is advice for me because I only talk to you once a week. I need to hear you in my head like every single day, every minute of the day. So I think it starts really with like giving ourselves credit for what we're doing. Oh, you're so good at that. Right. It's so important because we as builders tend to look at what's wrong, what we're not doing right. It's what makes us successful.

4:20Because if we just spend all of our time giving ourselves pats on the back, like the business wouldn't move forward. And so we really become experts at finding what the problems are. What are the problems we're going to jump in on and fix? And so what happens in that process is we lose confidence and we forget to really step back and look at where we've come from and what we've done. and it's not just from an emotional standpoint that that's important, but look at what you've been building and one of the big things that you do really well is you double down and triple down on what's working and what your key strengths are.

4:51And so there's the process of really stepping back and saying, what am I doing well? Isn't just about let's feel good. It's about how do I then triple down and get action on the things that I am really good at. So when we go through these things and somebody is sitting there and they know that, or they have like an idea, okay, it is time for me to stop doing what got me here to get to the next level. What are like the first three action items that somebody needs to do to extrapolate themselves from what that is? Because sometimes you're like, I know it, I don't know how. Yeah, so the biggest thing that helps us is really taking a minute on a regular basis and stepping back and looking at what do I need to achieve for the next 12 months?

5:32Because we tend to jump on problems, not plans. Ooh. And to have that longer view, and even if you're building and you don't know what that view is going to be, but really laying out what you want it to be, and then saying, where do I need to put my time to achieve that plan? And that's where we find, I think a lot of us spend time on the problems, and that's not what we need to be doing. That's what I did for years. Right. And so it opens up the internal dialogue of being able to say, okay, what does the business need for me differently now and for the next 12 months than it did before and yesterday?

6:08And really asking that question will then be able to look at things and say, Jasmine, you need to be doing this thing on your next business. okay so that's action item number one what do i need to achieve in the next 12 months and i'm focusing on a plan and less on the problems yes and then once i do that what would then be the next step so then the next step is to look at the work that you're no longer going to be doing and ask the question is that work going to be what needs to get done in the next three to six months sometimes there's a transition period but it allows us to say well if we keep doing the same thing we'll get the same results and that doesn't get us to the plan or we might answer that and say you know what while we're building this new thing we need to keep this train on the rails and depending on the answer ben looks at do we resource it with someone else and resource that work or do we let it go?

7:12And then three? Execute. Execute. Ideas, strategies, plans are all great, but they don't matter at all unless we execute. And it's hard. I say that so simply. It's so hard when you have a baby to hand that baby off to someone else or to say, you know what, we're getting a couple hundred thousand dollars a month on this initiative and I'm going to stop doing it. I grew up at Procter & Gamble, and it's one of the best case studies about how diluted focus dilutes your results. Because P &G went through a big thing where they literally said any brand that's not number one or two, we're going to divest.

7:54And they sold off 30, 40 % of the businesses that they had, and they grew. And the board, you hear the stories of the CEO who went through this. Okay, but I want to pause there. I want to pause because somebody's listening and this is such a big, big, big thing is that they let go. They cut back 40 % and grew. And I think as business owners that are not Procter & Gamble, we worry about letting go of different types of revenue streams. And so I want to let that like really sit in. They cut back and they grew. And you are in Procter & Gamble. And this ideology is now coursing through your veins.

8:39And how then does it apply now? Well, you were going there. I just cut you off. So please go back. But I'm like, we got to pause there for a second. Okay. No, it's great. And you're hitting on it. It's like I use PNG as the starting place one because it's in my DNA and how I think. But also if at that large of a global scale, you can cut back so much and stop doing things and still be able to actually grow from there and grow a lot faster than you were, says a lot. And every single CEO I work with, whether it's through coaching or board worker advising, the number one thing that gets them better results is focusing, is making a list of what work they aren't going to do.

9:20We're CEOs and we're building our smaller businesses up. It's so scary to let go of that revenue. It's so scary to look at it and say, I'm doing a shotgun approach. Right now I need cash. Nothing else matters but cash. And so I'm going to do these five things. And there's this leap of faith that says, look, our job right now is to accelerate learnings. We accelerate learnings, we will get longer term to the revenue. And I know short term cash is a path that we have to watch for. But you'll get that and you have to have blind faith and a lot of times to say if I do less, I will get more. Because what that means is every ounce of your being, every shower thought that you have, everything that you're doing is going to making one thing successful.

10:00Has there been a time, I actually was thinking about this in the back of my mind when you're saying this, has there been a time where you've given me advice that I didn't take? Or have I been mostly like, you and I have been putting in alignment, not that it makes me the Valley Victorian of the people you coach, but have I pushed back ever on something or saying like, I disagree? I don't think so. I think what you've done more of is you've taken our conversations and made them your own. So you don't act in the moment of, I've never seen you just say, take what we've talked about and then go do.

10:33You always make it your own. You put your own filter on it and say, okay, what does this mean for me and my leadership and my belief system? And then you execute through that. So you naturally augment to who you are. You said that I earn the right to bigger problems. Because I think that I was in a state where I'm just like, does it ever get easier? Like, I feel. No. I know. No. And I think that there was like this misnomer, this story that I can say was like, when the business gets to that size, when we have this many team members, or when I have this much time in my day, it's going to get easier.

11:05And you just looked across the table from me and you're like, we earned the right to bigger problems. And I'm like, I want to forfeit that right. So can you break that idea down? Like, how do you earn the right to bigger problems? Because it helped me be like, oh, my problems will be big. It's like more money, more problems. Like, okay okay so we earn the right to solve those problems the smaller ones that feel so big to us in the moment because they are but when we learn from them and we really say what are we taking forward here we never face that challenge again and we get bigger problems because we've actually figured out some of these smaller ones and that continues to grow and what we think of today is a huge insurmountable problem when we're in it and we learn from it then we're going to find out.

11:49Yeah, it's the next thing. Sometimes I feel like whenever I'm facing something that I'm like, I cannot believe that this is in front of me, I hear your voice in the back of my mind. And I'm like, wow, I earned the right to solve this one. Like, I wouldn't be given this problem if I hadn't solved the smaller problems or what I thought were the biggest problems then. And so when you look at operators and you look at your CEOs and you're like, okay, bigger problems, What kind of mindset can we start applying to, look, there's going to be bigger problems. How do I not get so beat up about it? How do I stay strong?

12:23How do I get up in the morning and be like, oh, another day of this glorious gut punching? So the first thing is just get up. The only way out of it is through it. It really is. We've made a commitment when we're building to our employees, our customers, our communities, our investors, if we have them. and so when we make that level of commitment we just need to get up and figure it out and start there yeah it sucks sometimes i will personally call one of my friends when i'm feeling it i'm like can i have a 10 minute pity party just my one of my best friends she's like who do we hate today and we don't hate anyone but it's just that really take it to the extreme play with it do whatever you have to do so you can just then put it aside and move on right yes and so acknowledge it play with it move it aside and it's hard to say play when it's like something i'm gonna run out of cash and i'm not make payroll you know go have a pity party and come back and deal with the problem right so so that's number one um the second thing when we look at it is to really understand like where we've come from and take that step back and i mentioned it when we first started talking and really say, okay, so I can do this.

13:42I've done harder things. Like I can do hard things and get that confidence back to doing it because that's really what it comes from is we have to give ourselves back thoughts sometimes. And then surround yourself with other builders at your stage who you can call and say, hey, have you ever done this before? How do you get through it? What you just experienced was a power punch shot of Susan. I am so proud to say that I experienced her wisdom for four years since then, and it wasn't long enough. In early 2026, Susan called me to let me know that she had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and the news shocked me.

14:19And man, I sat for days, and I cried, and I was immediately thinking of anything that I could do to help. But, you know, in a very familiar Susan way that you just saw in that video, you know, Susan, she's like, she told me to stay focused on the business because helping entrepreneurs was her medicine. Now, we thought that she would be able to make it through the holidays of 2026. And we would be able to discuss her next life plans after, you know, into 2027. And because she knew she had a very limited time, Susan had chosen five people that she wanted to have like these bucket list experiences with.

14:51And so with each person, she would travel to a different place in the world and just experience life to the fullest. And I was honored and I was very thrilled because Susan invited me, JD, and Luna to experience Mexico City together. And so our plans were to go in May of 2026. But two days before our flight, she called me to let me know that she was in so much physical pain that she wouldn't be able to travel. She said she needed a little bit of extra time to gather her strength because she had traveled to Amsterdam and France and Italy and Japan. Oh, but she said she was counting the minutes before she can go on the taco tours with my husband leading the charge.

15:28And I thought that she was gaining strength. That's what she told me. Like, I'm gaining my strength. Jasmine, don't you worry. But perhaps when I look back at it, I think it was Susan keeping a brave face to not let me worry about her. On Monday, June 15th, 2026, we had our weekly call. So Susan and I, we spoke about business, we spoke about plans. And then towards the end of the call, she apologized. And I was like, I was confused. And I said, for what? What could you possibly be apologizing for? And then she said she was sorry for not being everything I needed. and I was just more confused. And so I told her, hey, I couldn't ask for a better mentor.

16:08I couldn't learn or know more from anybody else. It's you. And so quite honestly, I was shocked that she would even think like to say such a thing, like this woman single-handedly changed my life. I couldn't help but shake that she was trying to tell me something that I refused to hear. But like there was like this deep knowing that there were things left unsaid between us. And this was just like a random Monday call. This was our standard Monday call. And we would text message throughout the week. We got really close, professionally and personally. So I did something completely out of the ordinary.

16:40Before we got off the call, I told her I loved her. Now, I'm sure it struck her like really out of the ordinary. Maybe it was a bit strange. But I repeated it again and again. I said, I love you. I love you. I love you. And I want to thank you for everything you've given me. I said, I'll text you later with the updates. I think you're going to be so excited. and the next morning I got a text message from her best friend saying Susan was rushed to the hospital the night before and was placed in palliative care and she asked me to record a video for Susan because she wasn't strong enough to take calls but every so often she would become lucid enough to hear from people who she loved on Wednesday morning I received another text message from her friend when Susan saw the video that I had sent her she asked when is Jasmine coming to that hospital.

17:28I received that text message from her friend on Wednesday morning, and I booked a flight to Colorado, leaving just two hours later. On Wednesday, I walked into Susan's home to see her towards the last journey of her life. I rubbed my arms around her, and I told her how much she meant to me and how much I loved her. And I promised that whatever I did for the rest of my life, the rest of my career, it would be because of her belief in me. And God gave her to me as a gift. And I will continue to cherish her for the rest of my life. JD and I stayed in Colorado as she transitioned to her next journey.

18:06And there was so much more I wanted to say, but our time was so fragile and it was so short. So what I'm doing now that I wish I could have done then is I decided to share three of the greatest lessons that she taught me with you as a way to continue her legacy and her absolute joy for helping entrepreneurs as they build their dreams. So I'm here to share that each of these lessons are based on some of her favorite, most memorable quotes. And I will tell you when I would hear these quotes, they would drive me crazy. So if you hate them, boy, did I hate them too. Lesson number one, do you want the hard now or do you want the hard later?

18:46It's her favorite quote. From the moment I met Susan, she never created the illusion that building a business was going to be easy or fast or simple. One of the first things I ever heard her say was, well, do you want the hard now or do you want the hard later? And she usually followed this by stating, it will be harder the longer you wait. And so she was using this as a forcing function for me to do the hard things first. And so she explained it this way. She said, if I had to eat a frog every single day, it would be best to eat the frog the first thing that I do that day because everything after that would be much easier.

19:20So the longer I waited to eat the frog, you know, like the longer I waited to do the hard thing, the harder it made everything else that I needed to get done. So in the same way, instead of avoiding making a hard decision or having a hard conversation or staring at the cold, hard truth, doing it fast, doing it regularly, and doing it with a source of pride changed everything. I stopped thinking that business would one day become easy and because it's been the total opposite. Whenever the business expanded or whenever the business had this massive leap. And I hope that, oh, finally the moment has come that things will be easier.

19:56Oh, yes, I can finally take a deep breath. She just reminded me, congratulations, you've earned the right to solve bigger problems. So the hard never went away. I just learned that the faster I embraced doing the hard, the rest of what needed to get done became palatable. Lesson number two. So another one of her favorite quotes, you can have it all you just can't have it all at once when she first said this to me i immediately like i like i peeled back from where i like recoiled i don't don't bring that nonsense in my life because i want it all baby i love dwelling in the pretend land of wonka's chocolate factory like there is a version of me who like genuinely straight up thinks that she's veruca salt and can insist at a moment's notice but daddy i want an oompa loompa and i want it now yeah i mean I really ridiculously believed that there would come a point in my business where everything was working 100 % and 100 % of the time, but I quickly realized, especially under her guidance, that that was never going to be real.

20:58I feel almost foolish now admitting that, but it's good for me to admit it publicly so you don't fall into a similar trap. It's easy to believe that there are businesses that work out flawlessly 100 % of the time, but the reality is it's just not true. She explained that where I put my focus amplifies the business. If I was focusing on acquisition and that began to work flawlessly, but then perhaps fulfillment ended up struggling. And if I focus my efforts on guiding the team towards improving fulfillment, well, then that might lead to increased need of recruitment. And the moment I worked on recruitment, then there's a good chance I needed to work on focusing on improving onboarding.

21:35So this list can go on and on and on. But what I realized is that I have a skill set that can get me what I want. but chances are I won't get all of what I want at the same time but it's not all bad news. Susan also told me that my job is speed to learning. Susan explained that the faster I learned what I needed to get done the faster I got results and the quicker I was able to move throughout the organization with my team like what did they need and then the closer to harmony that the business was all becoming and so while I might not ever have like everything I want all at the same time the ups and downs in the different departments were less frequent and they were less extreme.

22:13And that's now become a measure of success. How close to harmony and synergy between all the departments can we keep without too much polarity? Highs, highs, and the lows, lows. Lesson number three, the price of ambition is being judged by other people. So the definition of ambition is to achieve something significant. When you're trying to do or create anything significant, it will often require you to do things or say things that average people won't. And oftentimes, the doing and saying will have to take place in public. And the minute you decide to do something audacious, people will have opinions.

22:51It doesn't matter how big or small your ambition is. It's just that it might be so different from the people you surround yourself with. But by that reason alone, people are going to judge. And some might question your experience or your expertise or your authority, your education, your financial ability, or the lack thereof. The minute you decide you're going to build a business, everyone will have an opinion, even if they've never tried to do what you are trying to do for themselves. And that's because opinions are free. And if we're being honest, dreams are free too. The people who have free opinions also have free dreams, but the people who reach success are the people who do.

23:27They are the people who decide. They are the people who remain dedicated. Those are the people who simply choose to do unaverage things to achieve unaverage results. Being unaverage and ambitious sets you apart from most people in the world. And if you are so set apart or you are different from the norm, you are absolutely going to be judged. But that is the price you pay. You will be judged by friends, by family, by your employees, by strangers on the internet. Susan always reminded me to gladly pay the price of ambition because the rewards far outweigh somebody else's empty opinion of you. So I could go on and on sharing the lessons that she has given me, but I don't think that I could talk more about everything that she has taught without turning into a puddle of tears.

24:21And I have said, and I promised myself I was going to get through this without crying because she asked me not to spread tears. She said, don't cry. She said, don't cry. That we have been given the opportunity that few other people have not. We said the chance to say everything we wanted to say. And we had the opportunity to say goodbye. I said goodbye to a mentor, but I also said goodbye to a friend. Since she's passed, I have desperately wanted to reach out. I wanted to ask her more questions. I wanted to get more answers. I really wanted to get her brilliant insight. And I am telling you, I miss all of those things.

25:00But I also deeply know that she remains inside of me. That everything I do will always be a reflection of what she has taught me. My business has grown beyond my wildest dreams, and it's largely because in part that she believed in me. I am forever indebted to her. I am forever indebted to her choosing me and shaping me into the woman I am today. I hope her lessons will impact you, and I hope her lessons will impact your business the way that they have impacted mine. thank you so much for allowing me to share a deeply personal part of my life as a way to honor one of the most incredible humans I've ever known.

25:45I want to say thank you for watching and listening to the Jasmine Starr show and I hope that there is a part of you who has learned to love and appreciate Susan as much as I have. Thank you.