The Art of Intentional Networking: My 3-Part Framework

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0:33I can't wait to see you there. Three ways to build authentic and intentional relationships. Number one, ask where people live. Number two, a system to follow up. And number three would be personalized outreach. Do you want to be in different rooms? Do you wish you had access to people that you respect and admire? And do you wonder how you can build a network with really cool, incredible, powerful people? If so, welcome to the Jasmine Star Show. Y 'all, I have some coffee. Let's make sure we're hydrated. Please leave me a comment. Send me a DM. what is your favorite coffee drink? If you're drinking coffee right now, anything caffeinated, shoot a selfie, send me a DM.

1:09I want to connect with you. I want to make sure that I'm having conversations. And so this podcast is going to be slightly different because it is very conversational in nature. I do a lot of prep for this podcast, but I wanted to try something different. I wanted to use real stories and real recent examples on how I am living this out, because gosh, you don't want to watch or listen to a podcast of somebody who has advice and not actually doing it themselves. So welcome to the Jasmine Starr Show. Today, I am breaking down how I, number one, decided to be intentional about building out friendships and peer groups in a different way and in a different level this year.

1:44Number two, I created a system to help me be intentional. And number three, strategically expanding my network as a benefit to others. One of the things that I realized that was a power of mine is I have a very good memory and I'm a great connector. I love building intentional connections between other people, even if it doesn't benefit me, because I believe that good begets good. So if you would like to get into different rooms, if you would like to create real, authentic relationships with people, let's dive in. So a few years ago, I realized a few things. I went to amazing events and I met really incredible people, but much to my demise, I wasn't really following up the best way I should.

2:26Now, we might email, text, or follow up on social, but it wasn't anything deep or withstanding. It was just like a really cool, yeah, I met that person once in the hallway of a conference. I decided to make a change in 2025, but how? Okay, let's dive in. I wanna give a personal example. I met a woman by the name of Bonnie Christine. We had followed each other on social and knew each other loosely. We ended up meeting for a one-day mastermind in Nashville and we connected and I absolutely adored her And I asked myself, how could I be very intentional about creating a real and authentic connection and friendship with this person that fulfills me both personally and professionally?

3:06So let's go through a three-part framework that I started creating six or eight months ago, maybe a little bit longer than that, and talk to you about how I applied the same thing in this recent new relationship. So three things I do to build relationships with authenticity and intention. Number one, I ask where people live. Now, I like to make a personal note of where they live because I want to draw personal connections. Maybe they can be part of my future plans when I'm in their city. So case in point, I met a woman, an entrepreneur by the name of Cassie Ho. We actually went to the same college.

3:42We graduated different years. So we knew each other by way of like a college network. I met her at a business event and I wanted to get her on my podcast, but she's very, very busy. She's the CEO of Blogilates and of PopFlex. And so she told me that she lived in Austin. Well, I went to the team and I'd like to create a Notion doc where people I want to potentially have on the podcast. And then we have a tag in Notion that lists their city so that if ever I fly into a city, I can go to Notion and I could search by city to see who I might potentially want on my podcast. This is exactly what I did with Cassie.

4:18And y 'all know if you've been following along the podcast, I interviewed Cassie. She debuted on my podcast. I think I had waited about a year to get her on my podcast. It had taken me a year to get to Austin, her city, to be able to record that podcast. It happened about seven months after we had that in-person event. So broadly speaking, I wanna know where they live and I can create local connections if I have them. I also love knowing where somebody lives so that I can surprise and delight to build deeper relationships. How did I use this as a recent business example? There is a woman by the name of Valerie.

4:54She is in my mastermind and Valerie was integral. She was a key player in helping another woman in the mastermind sell her business. Valerie made the introduction. Valerie vouched for both parties. Valerie was a part of how these two incredible companies met and how one was acquired. As a small thank you for Valerie just being an incredible woman in our mastermind, the team and I sent her a gift certificate for her to get a facial at a local massage spa. Like massage spa? Yeah, we're just gonna go with that. At a local spa and massage center where she was. But we had denoted where she had lived.

5:30So two examples of being very intentional, how we can develop authenticity and intentionality of the relationships when we know where they live. We can use it as a business resource. We can also surprise and delight them by sending something very authentic to them. And we get to support small businesses in the process. Number two of building relationships with authenticity and intention. The first one was I asked where people live and the second is a system to follow up. So I asked Cassie to record at a specific date in Newport and she had a very hard time making it out here. Like I had mentioned, when we went to Austin, we had it cataloged.

6:06I was going to go to a mastermind event in July in Denver. And guess what? I had two people already. I wanted to be on the podcast. That event didn't end up happening for me, but it's really nice to start building out strategy and intentionality so that if I know, hey, I'm going to go to Denver in a few months, I'm going to start reaching out to these people on social media. I'll be making those connections so that when I invite them on the podcast, they will know it's with authenticity and intention. Okay, I am going to explain how I did this rather recently as well. I went to an event in Houston.

6:39It was an event hosted by Gabrielle Lyon. and there was a speaker there by the name of Rich Deviney. And OMG, this guy was so incredible. I just, I was taking copious notes. I just went through and I like everything that guy served up with a silver spoon. I was just going to town for it. He's a former Navy SEAL. He's a bestselling author. I saw him on stage and I was just like, this guy, I wanted my podcast. But he's been on like mega, mega podcasts of other people. Listen, we'll just spit the facts. My podcast is not a mega podcast. It serves a small group of people and I'm building it to be a mega podcast.

7:18It just ain't there yet. Okay, so I just could statistically think this guy is gonna be out of my league, but immediately there at the event, I sent a Slack message to the team and I said, let's build a card for Rich Devini because in his presentation, he had casually mentioned that he lived on a street in Virginia Beach. And I was like, if I am ever in the DC area, I'm gonna be reaching out to Rich. If I can take my podcast to people who are interesting, there's a higher likelihood that I can cultivate real relationships with these people, foster with intentionality, so that when I invite them on my podcast, they will say yes.

7:49Okay, so how do I show that I was going to be worth Rich's time? Now, the reason why I'm sharing this with you is because you might want to build relationships with people who are, like, I use the term out of my league, but you can use something a lot more positive. I just state it for what it is. I think Rich is out of my league. It's all good. One day he's going to come. But how do I show that I was going to be worth his time? I want you to be able to follow the same things so that you can build those, cultivate those relationships. So number one, I wrote a newsletter. Now I have hundreds of thousands of people on my newsletter list.

8:23And so I wrote a newsletter highlighting what I had learned from Rich and then linked him in my newsletter. Why? I hope that one day people are reaching out to him and say, Hey, we found you by way of Jasmine Starr's newsletter. Number two, I created a podcast. I'm gonna link it here in the show notes. I created a podcast explaining how his framework for overcoming uncertainty helped me overcome uncertainty with business aspects. So I used his ideology and his framework, and then I distilled it through the lens of entrepreneurship. I created a podcast about it. I gave him a shout out on my podcast.

8:55Why? I want him to know that I am a fan of his, and I will do due diligence when he comes on the show. Do you already like how I said when he comes? I'm just gonna keep on saying it till it happens. Number three, I sent him a DM inviting him to come on my podcast. I knew that it was highly unlikely that he was going to find himself on the opposite side of the coast on a very specific day that I am recording my podcast. He couldn't record on the dates that I had sent him. However, I will not stop hoping that one day he will come on my podcast. So three things that I did was send signals to my audience that he matters with the hope that one day he sees it as proof in the pudding that I was down for him, even when he didn't really know who I was.

9:44So three ways to build authentic and intentional relationships. Number one, ask where people live. Number two, a system to follow up. I explained how we create these cards in Notion. And number three would be personalized outreach. So as I'm building these relationships, I'm always asking myself, what can I do for others? If it is simply transactionary, like what I can get or how is this about me, there's never going to be a relationship that people want to get involved with me with. So I always ask myself, what could I do to let them know that I like them? I want them to trust me. And like, I'm just down for them, period.

10:18Even if I get nothing in return, I find deep joy and adding value to other people. Like it's part of my makeup. Like if I can help you, if I can connect with me, oh my God, nothing makes me happier. So the more I get to know them and the more I reach out to them and the more I figure out like what makes them tick, I find ways that I can connect them. And I want this to be highly personal to them. If somebody just reaching out to somebody via DM and say, hey, I want to connect you with this person. Both parties need to know me intimately and deeply for them to know that truly that connection is worth its weight in gold.

10:52So most often, how do I create a personal real connection with somebody who doesn't really know me online? And how do I develop that? I will reach out to people and it's okay if I'm uncomfortable. So I will reach out to people and invite them to have a meal that I might be curating. So if I get a small group of people that I know, like, and trust and I invite somebody on the outside, I'm like, hey, I'm gonna be getting together with this other really amazing group of people. I think you'd be a great fit. There's a higher likelihood that they will come because they're meeting more people in the same amount of time.

11:31Number two, I invite people to come on my podcast. I wanna be very clear. Every guest on my podcast has to be a hell yes from me. If it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no. You will not find a litany of authors coming and doing a book tour. You will not find people who are there to promote their product. The people who come on my podcast are people who I am following, I am watching, I am studying, I am learning from so that I can share what I've learned from them with you. So I'll invite them out to a cool curated meal. I will invite them on my podcast or maybe I am making a very valuable introduction to them based on something they might've said on social media.

12:08I subscribe to their newsletter. So if they said something in their newsletter, I listened to their podcast. I'm listening for what they're saying to say, hey, I'm actually in a unique position to create a connection. Do I think that any of those one of three ways is going to be effective? I hope so. I'm not tethered to the outcome. So I flew up to San Francisco for a networking event. It's called like Influencer Lunch. Now, I was going to fly home. Then JD and I decided to extend our trip from San Francisco to Napa. But I knew that there was very strategic connections that I wanted to make in San Francisco.

12:42So I texted a former teammate of Social Curator and I said, hey, I've been really studying tech and I'm not going to say the sector that I've been focusing on, but I've been deep diving in this form of tech. And I said, I kind of think that I would love to have a conversation with you. JD and I went to get you and then we listed a couple other people. Can we meet up for dinner? That is a way for me to use prior relationships in a much deeper way, contextualize it, and then surprise and delight. We went to this amazing restaurant. Listen, I don't care if you judge me. Okay. It is an old school restaurant.

13:11I know I'm going to say the name wrong, but it's, I think it's Caracchia in San Francisco. It's Mediterranean. It's wood fired. Y 'all, I don't even care. Like the decor is old school, but that meal, they grill out this halloumi cheese and they bring it out with some hummus and vegetables. And then they, the guys did like rack of lamb. It was awesome. But what am I actually doing here? I am using an opportunity to curate a cool group of people in San Francisco. I want to learn from people who are literally in the front row and the cost of it was the cost of dinner, but I learned so much. Sometimes I can help and create personal connections in other small ways.

13:49Here again, I just want to drive this point home. I am only sharing what I do because I want you to be able to take anything that resonates with you, internalize it, and you start building out these really cool networks of your own with authenticity and intention. So it's very powerful for me. when people come on my podcast, I don't know what it is. It's like, I just am down for them. Listen, if you are a guest on my podcast, I'm gonna go to war for you. However, what I've realized is because I've been creating these deep connections with podcast guests, I am introducing podcast guests to each other.

14:20And it's a very flawless conversation. Because I say, this person was on my podcast about this. You were on my podcast about this. I think that there's some synergy that could happen here. Boom, make the introduction. Number two, I will send personalized gifts. Like these are not fancy, but I think that people feel when you see them or when you know them, they know that relationship is deeper. So let's get into a conversation. Remember how I began this podcast talking to you about how I met Bonnie Christine and I said, I want to create a real and authentic, intentional conversation with her. Well, we had worked out together and we hung out and masterminded together and I was just wearing, she liked my socks.

14:57Okay, it sounds so stupid, but we worked out. She's like, oh my gosh, I like your socks. When we're hanging out at the house, I put on a different cool pair of socks. And she's like, I like these socks. Where are you getting these socks? And so as a small, thoughtful gift, I found a pair, and if anybody's interested, they're Stance. There's the ribbed Stance socks. Y 'all, like they're life-changing. I swear by them. I should be, actually, Stance should sponsor this podcast episode. Anyway, I found a pair of Stance socks. They were like, I don't know, 15,$16. And I sent them to Bonnie. That was just a way to say, I see you, I know you.

15:29For a podcast guest, we'll be linking to his show in the show notes. Adam Schaefer of Mind Pump came in and talked so much about building a personal brand, leveraging it to a 10,$12 million podcasting business. And I sent him a gift. Now, I know that Adam is so in love with his son, Max. Max and Luna are about the same age. I could have sent Adam like a thank you card or a gift card to Amazon or Apple. But instead, I sent Max a gift from Luna full of her favorite toys and games. Why? I want to personalize that relationship with Adam and let him know, hey, I see your son and I don't want to send you something that you could buy for yourself.

16:04I want to send you time and memories and relationships with your son. These are small, tiny things that I'm doing to go deep with relationships. So let's have a recap on how you can strategically build alliances and get into different rooms and meet different people with people that blow your mind as well as push you forward with authenticity, intentionality. So we want to strategically be networking with other people as a benefit to them. The best networking is asking yourself, What can I do for others without any expectation in return? So I am creating a system to be intentional. How am I doing this?

16:38I want to know where they live. I have a system to follow up and I am creating personalized connections. This podcast, if at all was helpful for you as you build relationships with intentionality and authenticity, send it to a friend. Better yet, send me a DM. If I am really real about creating authentic and intentional relationships, as I believe I am. I look forward to responding to your DM. I look forward to reposting your story when you tag me as you listen to this podcast. From the bottom of my heart, I want to say thank you with all of my authenticity and all of my intentionality. Thank you for watching and listening to The Jasmine Star Show.