The Secret to Building Influence—One Person at a Time with Jen Gottlieb

0:00If you've been feeling stuck in your business and wondering if you're the reason it's not growing faster, I have something for you. I'm hosting a free, no-pitch, live class called Three Money Beliefs That Made Me Millions. And I'm sharing the exact mindset shifts that helped me go from million-dollar years to million-dollar months. This isn't fluff. It is a surprising strategy that changed everything for me, and I want to share it with you. Like I said, no pitch, no fluff, just you and me talking about how we shift our beliefs around money to make you millions. Save your seat now at jasminestar.com forward slash millions.

0:32I can't wait to see you there. I'm Rosie, Customer Success Manager at Social Curator, and you're about to hear one of the most actionable and inspiring conversations we've ever shared on the Jasmine Starr Show. Jasmine sits down with PR expert and powerhouse entrepreneur, Jen Gottlieb. And what starts as a conversation about growing your business quickly becomes a masterclass in authentic connection, generosity, and influence. You'll learn Jen's deceptively simple framework, H-O-P-E, which stands for Help One Person every day and how that mindset led her to create real, lasting relationships that skyrocketed her business, her media presence, and her network.

1:10If you've ever wondered how to grow your business without being salesy, pushy, or spending a dime on ads, this episode is for you. Let's dive in. This is the most important conversation that I've had in a really, really long time, because I'll go on a lot of podcasts and people will never ask me about this. And this is the, if you want to know how to build your business in the most authentic way that doesn't cost any money and it doesn't really take a whole lot of energy because it's just genuine, it's four letters. H-O-P-E, hope. Help one person every day. That's it. It is so simple. And if I make it too big, if I'm like, oh, I got to do all these things, I got to reach out to 25 people and I got to, you know, make a whole big deal about it, then I won't do it.

1:50But if it's so simple as think about one person I can help every single day and just reach out to that person and figure out how I can I can serve them. Most of the time, it's not even asking them how they want to be served, but most of the time it's like getting a little creative and figuring out what would Jasmine want right now? Like, how can I help her? Does she have a podcast episode launching that I could share and review and like? Does she have a book coming out? Does she have a course that's launching? Could I help just like screenshot it and share it on my IG for absolutely no reason, just a random act of service?

2:19Think about how you can help one person every day. And not only will that bring along this beautiful thing called the law of reciprocity. So when I help you, you're going to just genuinely want to help me because it's like a law of the universe. When someone helps you, you want to help them back. But also what that does is it makes you feel good. When you help somebody else, you cannot not feel good. It's impossible. So then you're like, oh, that felt good. I want to take another little action step that feels good. So what else can I do? Can I help somebody else? And that's how you create women relationships.

2:49That's how you broaden your network. And that is how you make steps forward in your business. That's it. If you only do that thing, you will grow your business exponentially. Okay. So Jen's dropping bombs and guess what, y 'all? That was simple. Hope. Help one person every day. Now I said I was good. I was going to put hope. I was, I spelled hope. I was homeschooled. Let me alone. Help one person every day. Yeah. That is absolutely incredible. Okay. So let's take this a little bit further. Let's tap here for one second, because I want to give people practical tips, like immediately following this podcast.

3:24People will help one person on that day. And then let's just multiply it by a month or by two months. And over time, you will have helped maybe 60 people or maybe you'll help 30 people twice, whatever, whatever your rubric will become. Yeah. What, what then, like how then do you start figuring out where does help turn into relationships? And then where do relationships turn into like business opportunities? Yeah. So I would start with the hope. Well, I'm going to back up a little bit. I'm going to give you guys even a more tactical, unbelievable tool that will a hundred percent get you or anybody that's listening.

3:59Absolutely anything that you want in 20 days with just using your internal relationship. Okay. I'm dying. I'm so excited. You're so good. This is ridiculous. Okay. Okay. Let's go. Actionable steps. Yes. Talk about all day long. And that's great. But like, if I can give you an, if someone can give me an actionable step, I'm like, great. If I can do this, it works. Yes. Okay. Yes. This is called the top 20. And we get, whenever we teach this, I get messages almost every day of people that are like, I did the top 20. It worked. I got what I wanted. But the key is, is that you actually have to do it and you can get a lot of noise and it can get kind of scary when you start to reach out to people and ask for help and stuff like that.

4:35So what I say is that if you want this to work, you actually have to be brave and you have to take scary action steps and you just have to do it. So Jasmine, are you in? Are you going to do this? I'm going to do it. I'm going to do this. I'm telling you, if you do this, you'll get whatever you want, whether that's media. So our business is PR and media. So it's a way to get media, relationships, make sales, get a boyfriend. I don't know. Whatever you want, you can figure it out and you can use this tool. Okay. Okay. So you're going to, you have an imaginary piece of paper. Listeners, if you've got paper out, you take a piece of paper, you make four columns.

5:06One, two, three, four. The first column, you put 20, like just a 20 on top. And what you're going to do is you're going to do a dump list of 20 people that could possibly help you in getting what you want or connect you to somebody that can get you what you want. So whatever that is. So let's say that it is you want to get featured in the media. This is how we do. So let's say you want to get featured in Forbes. Okay. So you're going to list 20 people. And your first thought, a lot of people are always like, God, I don't know 20 people. Yes. You know, 20 people. I promise. Open up your Facebook, open up your contacts in your phone, and don't just think about people in your entrepreneurial circle.

5:45Think about people like your cousins, your kids, parents, friends, your next door neighbor, your parents, anybody in your life that could possibly know someone that could connect you to somebody at Forbes. Cool? Then you're going to just dump those people on a piece of paper. So in your second column, you're going to rate those people on a scale of one to 10 on how influential they are. Now, not how influential they are and how many Instagram followers they have, but how influential are they in helping you get what you want? So let's say one of your friends is the editor-in-chief at Forbes. Holy crap.

6:18They would be a 10 on how influential they are. Let's say your friend is friends with somebody that works at Forbes. They're a writer. So maybe that's like a six or a five. Okay. Then in the next column, that same person, you're going to rate them on a scale of one to 10 on how likely they are to help you. So if it's your mom or your best friend or somebody you're super close to that you've provided a lot of value for in the past, they're going to be higher on the one to 10 scale. If it's somebody that maybe you just met in passing that you don't really know, but you kind of know, or maybe somebody that you're friends with on social media, but you haven't really spoken to, they're going to be a little bit lower.

6:55Then you're going to add up those scores, the influential score and the how likely are they to help you score? And you're going to get a number. Okay. And then you're going to sort those numbers or those people. And that's in the fourth column? In the fourth column. God. You still with me? I'm with you. Okay, good. You're going to sort them in descending order, which means the easiest people to contact, the people with the highest scores, they're at the top. And the people that are a little bit harder, they're going to be at the bottom. Cool? Then for 20 days, you're going to reach out to one person per day.

7:28Now, the people at the top of the list, this is the key. They're going to be a lot easier to ask for help because they're people that you know, they're high on the level, high scores, right? They're going to be like your mom, your sister, or your best friend, or somebody that you've helped a lot. So you can go straight out and be like, hey, do you know someone at Forbes? Or could you connect me to that person at Forbes? Or hey, I have an amazing idea for an article at Forbes. You can go straight out for the ask. But the people lower on the list, you're going to have to create that relationship.

7:56Now, what do we do to create relationships? Figure out how you can help them. I was going to say hope. I want to be the Valley Victorian of this conversation. Okay. So forget I said anything. Jasmine, what are you going to do to those people at the bottom of the list? I am going to help one person each day and I'm going to reach out to them for the first 20, for the first 19 days to see if I can help them before I ask for something on day 20. A hundred percent. You are such a good student. Yes. Yes. Okay. This is just ridiculous. So what I like to do is I like to mirror to ensure that I didn't miss anything.

8:31So we started with the foundation. And this is like a life principle foundation, not just business, but that's hope help one person every day. And then I said, okay, Jen, but actually, how do we actually put this into motion to which she brilliantly responds? Let's go into this. What are we calling this? The 20 top 20. This is the top top 20, the top 20. Well, great. So in column one, I am going to list 20 people who I think could help me get the thing that I want. In column number two, I'm going to rank how likely they are to help me get the thing that I want. In column number three, I'm going to rank how likely they are to actually help me.

9:08How influential they are. Oh, how influential. Oh, that's it. Thank you. Thank you for the clarity. And then the fourth column is a sum of that number. And I'm going to put the largest number on top. Yes. Right. I'm going to start with the person who's most likely to help me. And I'm going to work my way down to person number 20 on the list. But because I think that they're the least likely to help me, I will use the first 19 days to find ways to give to them before I ask for something. That's right. Hey, girl. See, you're just smart. I love this. I love it. I feel like we could just like, we're like, okay, that was the podcast.

9:49Ladies and gentlemen, we're done. This is great. This is great. So do you have any like real success stories from people who do this? Oh my gosh. I have my own success story. Do you want to hear something? Yeah. That I actually use. I did it. I'm like, all right, I'm going to do the top 20. I'm going to use it and I'm going to try to get something. So I did it. I did it a little small because I was like, I'm going to do an experiment and see if this works. So I really wanted to get into well and good when I was a health coach. And this is when I first learned about this top 20 tool. Chris actually taught it to me and well and good.

10:19I don't know if you know it. It's a blog. It's like a wellness blog. It's amazing. And that would be a perfect place for me to be. So I'm going to list out 20 people that I know that could possibly connect me to somebody at Well and Good or get me in Well and Good or could help me. And I had met briefly at an event, one of the writers at Well and Good. And so she was like right at the top of my list. I'm like, all right, here we go. Now at the influential level, she's a 10 because she's a writer at Well and Good. But on the how likely is she to help me level, I would say she was like a two or three.

10:50I briefly met her. I didn't know her that well. I've never really done anything for her. and we had like a two minute long conversation. So if I were to just cold pitch her, like, hey, what's up? I have an idea. I would be like 20 other thousand people. I mean, I don't even know how many emails they get with pitches. So why would she listen to me? So what do I have to do? I have to provide value for her. And I'm like, all right, what can I do for this girl? Let me think. What are the things that I know about her? And in that brief conversation, I listened. So that's another thing. You got to listen when people talk.

11:21I was listening and paying attention. And the few things that I learned about her was she was a single girl living in New York City and she was writing a book. So I was like, all right, I was a single girl living in New York City at one point in time in my life. What did I want? And I wanted friends. I wanted things to do. I wanted to go out. I wanted connection and, you know, have places to go so I could possibly meet somebody. And then I was like, all right, and she's writing a book. So then I thought, I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to create a brunch, a girl's brunch in New York City.

11:52and I have a friend that works at Hay House, which is a book publishing company. And she's single and lives in New York. And I'm going to invite the girl from Well and Good, invite the girl from Hay House, invite a couple of other women and have a lovely brunch and connect everybody and provide massive value for everyone involved. Now, you may be thinking, holy shit, Jen, like that's a lot to do for like one little thing, but this is long game stuff. I'm looking to make real relationships with people because she's not just going to get me into Well and Good. Hopefully, I'll make a relationship that could help me in so many other ways.

12:24And I could help her and it could be a win-win and we could introduce each other to other people. So I throw a brunch. It's easy. It took like two seconds. I made it. Okay. I need, I'm a storyteller, Jen. Tell me, where was this brunch? Cafe Clover downtown in the West Village. It's super cute, like organic farm to table restaurant. Okay. And so like how, so, so you go in New York describe like, what are you guys wearing? Not because I want to know labels, but because I'm like, I want to get want to host a brunch and I just feel like I'm so awkward, I would just like die and be like sweaty pitted and be like, oh, no one's going to show up to this brunch.

12:57Like literally set the scene for me because I'm dying with these details. So you host the brunch. I'm assuming you get there a little bit early. Yes. But, and then what do people wear? This is not a big brunch. Like the dinner you were at. I literally, it was five girls. So it was very small. And I like just sent out an email. I was like, I really just want to get to know you guys and do a nice fun girls brunch. what was I wearing I have a picture of this send it to me so we can put it in the show notes I will okay okay I was wearing this little like blue and white romper I remember I like I'm just thinking about the picture invited Angela my best friend I invited the girl from Hay House I invited the girl from Well and Good and the girl from Well and Good was wearing a yellow dress I'll send you the picture okay a very New York crunch okay okay exact image of what you would think like a girl's New York City casual brunch at like a farm to table restaurant would be.

13:48And I love this. I legitimately went on open table and made a reservation for four or five people. And then I sent them all an email and I invited them and we showed up. It wasn't like a big production. It was just easy. And we all came, had the most amazing time. Not once did I say, I have an idea for a well and good article. Not once. I just had fun. I just figured out, oh, I was like introducing the two, all the ladies and making sure we all like could help each other. And we didn't even, it wasn't even that organized. It was legitimately, let's talk about boys. Let's talk about outfits. Let's talk about makeup.

14:22I don't know, whatever you got going on in your life. And then we had a great time. Skip to like a week later, the writer from Well and Good, I'm not using her name because I don't know if she wants to be mentioned or not. Right, right, right. Sends me an email and says, Jen, I had the most amazing idea for an article and I would love for you to be part of it. Boom. So then boom. So like a month later, I'm published in Well and Good. I got what I wanted from the top 20, but not only did I just get what I wanted because I have a friend now. Now she is a genuine friend, right? And I own a PR agency now.

14:52So whenever I want to get my clients in Well and Good, like this is long, long, long, long, long game. Now we have a great connection there. So you may think like, God, that's a lot of energy to do all of that for one thing, but it's so worth it in the end. And we always say the extra mile is never crowded. Nowadays with social media and Instagram, it's so easy to just DM and like stay behind the screen and not go the extra mile, not make real life relationships. But the things that move the needle forward and what I've noticed for me always are the real in-person deep relationships. Jasmine, we could have DM'd all day long and we wouldn't have the relationship that we have if we didn't meet at that dinner and we didn't do the connection all.

15:35And that's what it's about. I absolutely am like smitten with this. And I think that you're a living example. And one thing is like, I would change the narrative because you said it might sound like so much work to do. And it was quite the opposite for me. And maybe it's just how I'm hardwired. I'm like, that sounds like a lot of fun. Like it doesn't sound like it's super intimidating. I could absolutely reach out to three or four other people in my neck of the woods and say, hey, let's go to brunch. Like that's doable. And I feel like it's really authentic and genuine to me, which makes me feel empowered that I can actually do something, find ways to help, and then play the long game.

16:09So I love that. That was pure gold, right? Jen reminded us that real success doesn't come from a viral post or a magic funnel. It comes from serving others, showing up and building meaningful relationships, one person at a time. If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend, post it to your stories, or let us know your biggest takeaway. we love hearing what you're implementing and cheering you on as you grow until next time go help one person today and remember the extra mile is never crowded