The Seven Mindset Shifts I’m Taking Into Next Year

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0:39Welcome back to the Jasmine Star Show, a place we talk about business, marketing, and everything that goes into helping you live a life that you love with people you love, doing it on your own terms. Okay. As we wrap up the year, I have been reflecting on positive mindset shifts and lessons that I have, you know, number one, experienced personally, and two, I've seen within my community. I'm recording this episode, sharing them in hopes that they will help you too as you enter in the new year. But I'm going to pause here. I just said something that didn't settle well. I said, my community. It is not my community.

1:13It is our community. And the minute that I make anything my own, it excludes you, the person I find the most valuable. So when I talk about the community, I actually mean it as ours. And I want to be very clear and stop myself from not speaking my dang truth. All right, but let's go back into the mindset shifts. Before we get into each one, I'm going to let you know what they are. You know how we do here with our frameworks. I'll let you know on the front end and then we deep dive. Number one is to replace the need for motivation with momentum. Oh yeah, we're going there. Number two, to celebrate continuous improvement and not just really huge wins.

1:46Number three is to embrace non-dualistic thinking. Number four is to remember being present and that being present is a choice. Number five is to embrace infinite identities. Number six, apply the power of yet when something feels limiting. And finally, lucky number seven, challenge the story you're telling yourself. I I mean, prepare your hearts. Your girl is coming in hot. Okay. The first mindset shift to replace is the need for motivation with momentum. Now, before we dive into this, you might have heard me say action builds confidence. Let me explain that first because I believe that they go hand in hand.

2:23Business owners often wait until they feel confident to show up and take action. When taking action is actually how you build confidence. By proving to yourself that you're capable of facing challenges and making progress, you increase your self-assurance. It's literally proof that you can do hard things to get the results you want. Now, I didn't say an answer. I said results. Your hard work will often not give you exactly what you want, but it's the path of guiding you to finding the right answer. The more action you take, the faster you're going to get results to find that answer. Action leads to confidence, which encourages more action and improvement, and that leads your business to more results.

3:04So remember, waiting for confidence to appear before taking action won't happen. Now, I've seen business owners, they often rely solely on motivation to take action. Like they tell themselves that once I'm motivated, then I'm going to start working on things that are going to help me reach my goals. But the thing is, when you start taking action and building momentum in a task or a project, it creates a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in your brain. Now, this feeling of progress and achievement will motivate you to continue working towards your goals. Friends, that right there. The shortest way that I can say this is just start doing something.

3:44Just start doing something, anything. Even if you think it's not the best place to start or the best time to start, just start. Why? Taking action leads to momentum and momentum and motivation are interconnected. it. Momentum is how you create internal motivation, which is sustainable. And that is in your control. Unlike watching a motivational YouTube video, that may or may not create external motivation, which is reliant on other factors outside of your control. Here's an example. Imagine two friends who started their coaching businesses at the same time. We're going to call them Ashley and Nicole.

4:23Ashley relies on motivation, waiting for the perfect moment or mood to take action and generate new leads. But Nicole, on the other hand, well, she's focusing on building momentum by reaching out to five people every single day who could be prospective clients, whether she feels motivated or not. Okay. Pause here. Nicole is doing work even when she doesn't feel motivated, even when she doesn't feel qualified, even if the time isn't right, even when the mood ain't right, even when there's not scented candles setting the vibe. And after you've journaled and have a cold plunge and you had your workout and a protein smoothie.

5:01She's doing it even when those optimal situations are not there. So in a year, Nicole has consistent revenue and a client base because she maintains a steady flow of new people added to her network. Well, Ashley's business generates little to no profit because her actions are based on her motivation levels. Oh, did I just like shots fired? Yeah. Your girl did not come to play. Let's go to mindset shift. Number two, celebrate continuous improvement. Oh, y 'all like me, if you're like me, you love to celebrate big wins and milestones. Like you should rightfully. So go on, go on with your bad self.

5:36You did that. But to get even more results in your business, I want you to start celebrating smaller improvements and wins. I was actually reading about this philosophy and it's a philosophy of celebrating continuous improvement. And it's known as the Kaizen mindset, which is a Japanese mindset. It's a Japanese concept. So this mindset shift is the belief that small incremental changes often lead to major progress over time. Now, small incremental progress that leads to changes over time. So if this is leading to consistency, and I'm sorry, we'll go back down. It went too high. Okay, right. This improves consistency and persistence, which we know often leads to success.

6:21So here's an example. David is a freelance copywriter and he only measures his success by completing big projects or lending high profile clients. Okay. But let's focus on small wins that changed his business from the inside out. He began celebrating things that weren't just monetary. He started celebrating writing faster, improving brand voice and learning new writing techniques. Now this mindset boosted his confidence in his efficiency, making his clients very satisfied and excited to keep him on as a writing contractor. By celebrating continuous improvement, David improved his reputation as a copywriter and as a byproduct increased his revenue.

6:58If you're not sure what this looks like in your business, here's some ideas. Like let's give you a reason to throw a party. Positive feedbacks or reviews from your client. Feedbacks? Yes, I just made it plural. Feedbacks. Positive feedback and testimonials from your clients, how you handled a tough situation or conversation, improvements in your workflow, in your systems or operations, successful teamwork or really cool collaboration, new creative ideas. Okay. So I'm going to take a second and I'm going to tell you about this little cheesy idea that I loved. Back in October, I created a wind board in my office and it includes every kind of like small highlight that I would have normally like kind of like been like, oh, that's cool, but I would have glossed right over.

7:40For example, I wrote down a win was having a conversation with a company that I wanted to partner with. Now, nothing happened from that conversation. We still have a ton of follow-up calls and contracts and final confirmation that we can actually partner together. But the win was simply that the call happened. I'm celebrating the start of that conversation as well as like, hopefully, like I'm celebrating the start of it. And then hopefully I'm going to start the end, like celebrating the end of that conversation too. So celebration on the front, celebration at the end. Okay. So let's go back to our mindset shifts.

8:13Number one was to replace the need for motivation with momentum, doing the work, even you don't feel like it. Number two was to celebrate continuous improvement. Like whenever I think of number two, I always have the background, like Celia Cruz. Okay. Okay. It's like salsa. It's like, I'm just going to throw a party because I'm doing the dang work. Like if you don't throw a party for yourself, ain't nobody going to throw a party for you. Okay. So get like some Cuban music, get arroz cum and dule, put on dancing, just get your groove on because you're celebrating the small wins. Number three is to embrace non-dualistic thinking.

8:47So yeah, your girl just went from like dancing cumbia and salsa to like non-dualistic thinking. Time to sound a little bit smart. I can't even say that without, I can't even say it straight. I can't even say now it's time to sound smart without not sounding smart. Okay. So we often feel like we need to organize people and things and situations and ideas like good or bad, hero, villain, right or wrong. And this is called a binary mindset. A binary mindset is when you see things only in black and white terms. Like there's no like middle ground, there's no shades of gray. And this could lead to small thinking and limit your ability to make informed decisions.

9:24So how do you not do this? By embracing non-dualistic thinking. Non-dualistic thinking is the ability to see interconnectedness or like shades of gray in all aspects of your life and business. And this could lead to more empathy, being more open-minded, and a deeper understanding of really complex issues. So here's an example of how non-dualistic thinking can have a huge impact in somebody's business. Like let's use an example. Let's say her name is Sarah. Sarah owns a sustainable brand and has a choice to make. She wanted to make her clothes in a way that was good for the environment and fair for workers.

9:58At first she thought, dang, I only have two options. Choose between cheap factories that aren't very fair to their workers or expensive ones that are fair, but they cost a fortune. But then she started thinking non-dualistically. She realized that there were other options on the in-between. Sarah started talking to her current factories about doing things better. She also talked about what she was doing on social media to make things more fair and responsibly sourced in a fashion industry, which led her followers to giving her insights and offering like, hey, like new perspectives about what she's doing.

10:28This change in thinking helped her find better solutions. Sarah learned that not everything is good or bad. There are many, many ways to make things better, small and incrementally along the way. Now this approach not only made her brand more ethical, but it made her brand more well-loved and well-known to her ideal client. People were speaking into that. Okay. So let's take the story away from Sarah and put it back to your girl. Because remember that company that I wanted to partner with? The one that I put on my win board? It was like a small win. Well, before we thought of a partnership, we were using a binary mindset.

11:03Now, I don't want to get into too much details, but we were literally going to create our own tutorial videos on how to use a platform for your business. It was another platform for your business. Now, I want to repeat that again. We were going to make a handbook on how to use another product. Why? Because up until this point, we had never seen a company do such a massive partnership and create unique tutorials for our needs. Okay. So this was a classic black and white perspective because they hadn't done it in the past. We believe that they wouldn't do it in the future, but then we started embracing non-dualistic thinking.

11:39We literally mapped out everything we needed, a dream list of how we could partner with this company. And then we pitched them and I felt so ridiculous. I felt so, I felt like I was so out of my league. I felt like I was saying everything wrong. I felt like it was so audacious. Like who was I to go to that company and say, I need you to do all of this to partner with us. And guess what? They agreed to every request and here's where it gets better. They gave us ideas on how we can improve the offer. It almost feels like what kind of story or parallel universe am I living in? Like this is because it was no longer binary thinking.

12:23We asked for how great could we make it? This isn't black or white. It was like 50 shades of gray. I mean, you knew that. You knew that joke was coming. You knew it was there. It was like the chief, it was so set up for me. Okay. And this friends, this moment of saying it's not binary and could we be audacious and could we ask for everything that we want? Because if they say no, we're exactly in the same place we started. That is embracing a different mindset. And this brings us to the fourth mindset shift, which is to remember that being present is a choice. Recognizing the choice of being present empowers you to take control of your mindset, control of your time, control of your actions.

13:01If you've ever worked in a restaurant or if you've had any like sort of night shift, you might remember that feeling of dread that lingered the whole day, knowing that you're gonna have to clock in at 4 p.m. And like, I want you to think of all the mornings and afternoons wasted by dreading that future shift and then not making the most of that time off that you had during the day. Like I worked night shift as a waitress for years and I would waste so many days being like, okay, I gotta get all of this. Oh, and I'm not gonna get enough sleep. And oh, like, I just wasted my days. And honestly, I bet like when you got there, like when I did, it wasn't as nearly as dreadful as we imagined in our mind.

13:37Our minds have a way of keeping us overthinking like the past and then dreading the future. We must wire our brains to live in the present. Even if you just had like five minutes or even an hour a day, you can make the most out of it. And then you could choose to be present in that five minutes or in that 60 minutes. So here's an example. Okay, and this is an example from somebody I actually experienced in the past, but we're changing his name. Adam is a podcast producer with a teenage daughter. He has 15 minutes in between his back-to-back meetings every Tuesday. He has these meetings every Tuesday for five hours straight.

14:10And he was dreading those short breaks. I'm going to use this quote. It was like a waste of time. Like those 15 minutes, oh, that was just like a waste of time. So he would scroll Instagram until he realized he was wasting an hour of his Tuesday, an hour. So he had four breaks each 15 minutes. I was like an hour. So now he uses these little pockets of time to unwind by stepping outside. He takes a few deep breaths and he prepares for the next meeting. What used to be like a waste of time is now the best use of his time. And now every Tuesday during one of his breaks, he's able to call his daughter and he talks to her on her way home from school.

14:46So every Tuesday at 3.15, her phone rings and she knows it's her dad using his break to focus and be present with her. And here's the best part. When he and his daughter get home, they're able to be more engaged and patient because they've caught up with each other just a little bit. And Adam used his break time to focus on taking care of himself and his relationships. Okay. So before I get any further, I want to review where we're at. My mindset shift, number one was to replace the need for motivation with momentum. Number two was to celebrate those continuous wins and improvement. Number three is to embrace non-dualistic thinking.

15:22Number four is to remember that being present is a choice. And now number five is to embrace an infinite identity. My word for 2023 was rebirth and like I don't have to tell you man Like did it come like to life for me? Did that word just like make itself true in my life? Yes But not in the way that I expected to be honest Nothing about me changed in my life until about late august or early september So I haven't spoken publicly about this experience because i'm still working through a lot of everything that I had learned but I would love to share about my first ever alone trip to a place called Sensei.

16:04So I went to Sensei and I wasn't really excited to go. I had a mentor. I had my husband and I had RCOO look across from me and say, you got to step away. Like you got to get away. And they saw in me what I couldn't say in myself, that I was working so much to compensate for something, anything. And if I was being very honest in my family come from a long line on both sides of addiction And so I think in today's society some addictions are celebrated and some addictions are pushed to the side And so we know addictions that are not so healthy and I think I got to a point where I got really addicted to work And it was the only thing I wanted to do and I think that the work was substituting Me not wanting to address like stuff that had happened in 2022 2022.

16:52So I thought, oh, 2023, I'm getting this new word. It's called rebirth. And all of these things are going to be like so amazing. I'm going to be a new person. And in my mind and my finite, small minded human thinking, I was like, my rebirth would be totally perfectly scheduled around February, March, because I'm going to be ready for it. And then I just realized that the more that things didn't change in my life, the more I just wanted to work because work kept me busy and work kept me not feeling the things that I wanted to feel. And so when I was 100 % with my family, it was 100 % with my family, but I wasn't 100 % with work.

17:18It was 100 % with work. There was no like time to just be and think and feel. And so August, September, three very important people said, you're going and you need to go by the end of the month. So I went and I spent a week by myself, something I have never done in my entire life. And there I met a lot of great people. I worked with therapists, I did meditation, I did yoga. And one of the things that I learned is that something I've always learned, but it was good to hear it again, is that I am not my work. and my work isn't me. And my worth is not in the work that I do, the work that I produce, or how much I work.

17:58And more than anything, I learned that my identity isn't fixed. It doesn't have to be one thing. I believe that our identities can be infinite. I could be an entrepreneur, and I could be a mother, and I could be a partner in life, in business, in friendship. I could be a daughter. I can be a granddaughter. I could be a friend. I can be an auntie. I can be a cousin. I can be 37 different types of entrepreneurs. You have the power to evolve and change no matter what box people try to put you in or let's just be real, the box you put yourself in. So in order to do this, you have to reflect on what you want to change.

18:34You want to set clear goals and you want to be open to evolving over time. Let people know about your goals, act on your goals and be kind to yourself as you grow. It might feel like you're starting over when you decide to reinvent yourself or your career, but trust me, you're not. We can get into an example, right? Let's say there is an esthetician. Let's call her Brittany. And Brittany's business really got started and started getting noticed on TikTok, but not by potential clients, but by other estheticians. Like her setup videos, her product recommendations, and her industry knowledge had estheticians from around the world reaching out to her for advice and asking questions on how to grow on social media.

19:14Now, even though Brittany spent years building a brand as solely an esthetician, huh? She started to choose to embrace an infinite identity. She started realizing that she had a big opportunity in front of her. Brittany decided to pivot her brand and add on consultations for other industry professionals. Her reinvention allowed her to share her expertise, impact more lives, and make more money. Okay. So now let's dive into the sixth powerful mindset shift, the power of yet. The power of yet is one of the most simple yet effective mindset shifts. I will pause here and tell you that in the car ride yesterday, JD and I were driving from Newport Beach to Venice Beach, California, and we had this opportunity and I had said, well, I just don't know.

20:00And then I stopped myself and I said, I don't know yet. Ah, everything changes on yet. When I say, we can't afford that. Oh, well, we can't afford that yet. So here's how it works. When we say phrases like, I can't do this, or I don't have enough money, or I don't know, it signifies the sense of incapability, or like maybe it signifies fear of failure. But if we incorporate the word yet at the end of these statements, you give them an entirely different perspective. Saying, I can't do this yet recognizes your present limitations while acknowledging you have the power to change it. In other words, this shift, adding yet impacts our brains and reminds us that we are not confined by our current abilities or current circumstances.

20:51The next time you find yourself saying the sentence that makes you feel limited or small or just not where you want to be, give it a try. Just add yet. So here are some other ways that you can use the power of yet. I haven't reached my goals yet. I'm not a confident speaker yet. I'm not good at this yet. It's not something I know how to do yet. We can't make that investment yet. I don't have a big network yet. I'm not a full-time entrepreneur yet. Do you see how adding the word yet changes the emotion and the meaning behind the sentence? Oh, yes. Yeah. Yet, yet, yet, yet. Okay. So this is going to bring us to our seventh and final mindset shift.

21:41And that is to challenge the story you are telling yourself. Our minds love to apply a narrative to situations, even if it doesn't know the truth. For example, I can't tell you how many times people thought I was a rude, erratic, jerk driver, cutting them off and speeding down the street. They thought I was a jerk. And that's the story they were telling themselves. But here's what they didn't know. I was often driving my mom to the hospital when she was having a severe asthma attack. I wasn't being rude. I was trying to save her life. This is a real story. So how do we challenge the story we tell ourselves?

22:19Well, we can assume positive intent. Next time somebody does something that upsets you or makes you angry, take a step back and assume they had good intentions. This means that we're going to suspend all judgment and try to understand why they might've done what they did. So here's an example. A business coach named John noticed that several of his clients had stopped showing up to his live coaching sessions. And then like this made him feel like frustrated. And then it was like, I'm questioning, do I have the ability to lead them? Do they even care? Am I doing something wrong? Eventually after two months of zero attendance, John decided to challenge the story he was telling himself and assume positive intent.

22:57Instead of jumping to conclusions about, Hey, wait, why is nobody showing up? He reached out to a few of his clients individually. And then he wanted to try to understand why they stopped joining, why they stopped coming. and John discovered that the time of the call, 3 p.m. his time was 6 p.m. their time and they were focused on their families at that time. They told him, you know what, John, I'm still watching these classes on a replay of the call like after the kids go to bed. But then John realized, hey, things can change. Things need to change. So knowing this, he changed the meeting time and not only did it lead to better attendance, but he retained his clients and deepened trust with him and them because they understood that he's a supportive and understanding coach.

23:36The problem was never John. The problem was never his ability to lead, even though that was the story he was telling himself. How often do we tell ourselves a story and not assume positive intent? Okay, so like I said, this year was a big year of reflections and a big year of learning. And I had big mindset shifts that I shared open and vulnerably with you. So now let's take a moment to reflect on them because I want you to take them going into your next day, week, month, and even year. Number one, replace the need for motivation with momentum. When you catch yourself waiting around for motivation, when you, I'm waiting for inspiration.

24:14No, no. Remember that it's often the act of starting, even with one small step, that generates the energy and motivation to keep you moving forward. Number two, celebrate continuous improvement and not just big wins. This acknowledges that the effort and the progress that leads to big wins and creating resilience along the way, it's like that little salsa dancing in the kitchen because you're doing the dang work. That, my friends, is celebrating the small wins. Number three, embrace non-dualistic thinking to help you see the big picture and make better decisions and you work better with others.

24:45It's not black and white. It's a billion shades of gray. Number four, remember that being present is a choice. Doing this will help you improve your relationships, reduce stress and improve your focus and maximize five minutes, 15 minutes or even an hour in your day. Number five, choose an infinite identity. This allows you to grow and evolve instead of holding you back to past versions of yourself who you no longer are. Yes and amen. Number six is to apply the power of yet. One of the simplest things you can do in a sentence is make true change by simply adding yet. Instead of saying, I don't have it, that's lack.